Chapter 759 unedited, unmemed, and probably incomplete

So quick note: this chapter ends very abruptly. That's because I went on and wrote another 3000 words, but it was all rushed and poorly done because I had a specific point I wanted to end the chapter at. Turns out, it'll probably take two chapters to do that, but I'm hungry and tired and couldn't figure out a way to end this chapter organically. I might just make it a two parter, and end up just tacking another full chapter onto the back of this one, but I don't love that idea. There's just so much info I wanted to get out there, but now i'm worried it'll just get lost in a sea of words. I dunno. I'll just write out the rest as if its all one big chatper, and then see how it goes from there. 

Anywho, this one is a dense read, with a fair amount of rehash and clarification, so hopefully you enjoy. 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zysN48IbIcGV8XuiTvYr_CSRXOH8nxz0MsffbQ1pav8/edit?usp=sharing

I am not a smart man.

This is known.

I mean, I’m educated, but education and intelligence are not the same thing. I know a little about a lot of things, but knowing things doesn’t make you smart. Being smart means knowing how to apply said knowledge in a useful or favourable manner, but despite having all the answers laid out before me, I’m still not entirely sure what to do next.

Well, that’s not true. I know what I need to do next, namely take the next step along the Martial Dao. I just don’t know how. The why is simple, because might makes right. Using my authority as Legate, I set the outer provinces on course to retake the Western Province and free the Imperial citizens suffering under Defiled rule, but these orders stand in direct opposition to the Imperial Edict which closed the borders in the first place. Thus, I need more strength not only to free the people of the West from the Defiled threat, but also to ensure their freedom and security on the off chance the Emperor decides he wants to purge the entire province just to be safe.

That’s why I need strength right now, and partially why I seek strength in general, to help defend those who cannot defend themselves. No, that’s not entirely true, because that makes it sound like I’m some noble, self-sacrificing hero who’s hell-bent on protecting the world. I’m really not. I just want to be strong enough to protect the people I love, do as I please, and live life according to my own ideals. Making the world a better place is mostly a selfish endeavour, because as it stands, this world sucks donkey dick and makes me sad inside. Yea, I said it. This world sucks. It has a lot of great things going for it, like my family, friends, and floofs, as well as lots of interesting people, beautiful scenery, eclectic cultures, and more, but when you look at the absolute pros and cons of the world as a whole, the cons easily outweigh the pros even after accounting for the adorable antics of roosequins.

I’m not wrong, and here’s why. This is a world that sucks so much, it’s catchphrase is, “Life is suffering.” Might as well say, “Life sucks. Deal with it. Bitch.”

So that’s why I want to make the world a better place, so I don’t have to be so sad about it all the time. My personal loathing for this world aside, a smart man who knew everything I know would have long since figured everything out by now, but I as I’ve already pointed out, I am not a smart man. I know and accept that the time has come for me to take the next step, and I also know why I seek strength, but even though the Abbot seems to believe that these two separate revelations are supposed to come together and show me the way forward, I still haven’t the faintest idea of what I’m supposed to do. Rest and recuperate I suppose, but the unique manner in which I’ve expended my efforts has left me in a strange state of quasi-consciousness. The quiet unknowing of true oblivion escapes me every now and then, leaving me in a half-suspended state between asleep and awake without ever wholly committing to one side or the other. I am unable to open my eyes and wake, but also unable to focus my mind and retreat to my Natal Palace, leaving me with nothing to do besides reflect upon my Path and see if there’s anything I’ve missed.

So... quick refresher. Martial Warriors are humans who have successfully Created a Core. The Core is the medium through which we harness the Energy of the Heavens, which is the sum total of what I can confidently say I know about the Martial Dao. Everything else I ‘know’ is mostly guesswork and observations rather than indisputable fact, more of a working hypothesis rather than verifiable theory or immutable law. The Core is the first step along the Martial Path and the most difficult step in many ways, because it’s a pass/fail hurdle that ninety-nine percent of humanity is unable to cross. In contrast, one-hundred percent of Defiled succeed at Core Creation, but only because they accept help from external forces, namely Spectres which are severed fragments of human souls containing all the emotional baggage the former owner wished to be rid of. Somehow, I feel like this is the inferior method, even though I myself utilized it to nudge the Stormguard over the threshold between commoner and Martial Warrior. Why is it inferior? No idea, that’s just how it is. Despite there being more Defiled than Martial Warriors, they don’t have as many Experts and Peak Experts in comparison. Then again, this could just be the result of meddling Spectres hoping to keep their hosts weak and reliant on their assistance. Give a Defiled too much strength, and they might not need the Spectres any more, which runs counter to their goal of inciting Demonification and paving a path for their return to the material world.

See? Even when discussing what I think I already know, there are so many uncertainties to account for. How is any of this uncertain, unverifiable, and unconvincing information supposed to help me on my Path to the Martial Peak? Aura Condensation, Natal Palace Formation, Domain Development, and Void Shattering, these constitute the rest of the universally accepted milestones along the Martial Path, but there are simply far too many unknowns regarding each of them for me to comfortably claim any sort of understanding. Take Aura for example, which is using emotion and Chi to project a field of pressure onto your enemies or counter an opposing Aura projected upon your allies. That’s all it really is, a one trick skill with no real depth or complexity that’s only useful against other people without Aura. Humans place Aura fairly early on along the Martial Path, usually immediately before or after Natal Palace Formation, yet animals leave it until after Void Shattering. Seems odd doesn’t it? Why would they do that? Aura is a requirement to do battle with Demons, but other than that, I see no other reason why an Aura is even needed in the first place. A Natal Palace allows a one to practice Chi without expending it, and a Domain enables us to use Chi Externally, while Shattering the Void supposedly enables a Martial Warrior to freely manipulate the raw Energies of the Heavens. That last bit is up for debate, considering I’ve yet to see a Divinity actually use Heavenly Energy in any meaningful manner, but the important take away from all this is that each milestone along the Martial Path sets the foundation for the next one, a steady progression of steps that lead to the Peak.

So where does Aura fit it? Technically, at any point along the Martial Path after Core Formation since it has no other prerequisites and is not required to achieve any other milestone. That makes it stand out from the other milestones, not to mention the addition of other mysteries surrounding Aura like my ability to share a whole host of emotions through Aura which I somehow taught Song as well. Then there’s the matter of Luo-Luo’s ability to project her emotions through music, which is similar to Emotional Aura, except she can do so without having Condensed an Aura of her own. This then ties into the whole concept of power in art, because art is the means through which the human mind connects with the soul.

That’s what Monk Happy said at least, but that was less about Aura and more Runes and emotions in general, with an added focus on Zhen Shi’s corpse art and the crafting of Spiritual Weapons. Going back to Aura, Monk Bones said regular and emotion Aura only works because it targets the mind through empathy rather than the physical body, which is protected from foreign Chi by an internal Domain. Everyone enjoys this protection, mind you, Peak Experts and base commoners alike, but when trying to Heal the Abbot, I learned that he took things a step further and enhanced his internal Domain because he believed that in order to achieve True Divinity, one must first refine the body, mind, and soul, as opposed to merely focusing on the body like most Martial Warriors tend to do.

And that’s just some of the issues involved with Aura Condensation, but I still have plenty more on the back burner, to say nothing of all the unknowns regarding the other milestones along the Path. So where does this leave me? With a whole lot of questions and precious few answers to work with, which I should probably be used to by now. Even if I was capable of putting put all my questions and doubts aside, and could accept that I have, for all intents and purposes, successfully accomplished every milestone along the Martial Path except Void Shattering, I’m still stuck on what to do next. Technically, I should be prepping to take the next step and tackle the ‘final’ milestone, but the problem is, I can’t help but feel like that’s the wrong move. The Abbot claims I’ve set my sights too high and spurn the ‘false Divinity’ so many others have achieved in favour of true Divinity, and he’s not wrong. Even if I truly Shatter the Void, I won’t become a literal god, just a really powerful Martial Warrior on par with Ancestral Beasts, but what fucking good is that?

This has nothing to do with me looking down on ‘false’ Divinity, and more to do with the fact that if I were to take that next step, I would then be subject to the limits all other Divinities are bound to. I’m not talking about the Treaty, which is worth less than the paper its printed on, but rather the inability to control my own strength. A clash of Divinities is synonymous with cataclysm and calamity, where the only guaranteed outcome is the destruction of everything in the area. It is literally impossible for a Divinity to fight another Divinity without incurring massive collateral damage, so how am I supposed to take part in the fighting if I can’t control my own strength? That’s the real reason why the Treaty exists, because no one, not even the crazed Zhen Shi, wants to see the habitable world destroyed in a clash of Divinities, so why would I want to become one now? I need strength, but usable strength, not the empty strength of a nuclear option everyone knows I would never take, so false Divinity is no real solution to all my woes.

Course, I only know this because Dad sat me down and spelled it all out, but I knew I was holding back for a reason.

That being said, there are a few useful tidbits to pick out from all the chaff, namely that in order to achieve True Divinity, I probably need to refine my body, mind, and soul. I’m fairly certain I’ve successfully refined my body with help from Taddy’s body tempering baths, though I have a few doubts considering I still lack the physical durability of a true Spiritual Heart. This of course goes back to the Abbot’s criticism regarding my disdain of ‘false’ Divinity, but it’s more than me not wanting to make mistakes. Mother knows I’ve made more mistakes than most, and I also believe that making mistakes is one of the best ways to learn, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to rush headlong into every ditch and speed bump along the Martial Path simply for the experience. Putting that aside for now, even if I wanted to achieve false Divinity, there’s still the minor matter of refining my mind and soul first, which raises all sorts of interesting questions which I should probably not get into just yet.

So the big takeaway from all this is that in order to truly successfully Shatter the Void, one must have a mind and soul capable of processing everything that comes along with it. That’s why refining the mind and soul is so important, because only then can I retain control of my Will while processing all the information the Energy of the Heavens has to offer, instead of surrendering control over to it. Of all the Martial Warriors I know and have spoken to however, the only people I’ve seen who might have any sort of achievement in the area of mind and soul refinement are Taddy, who is a Divinity himself, and Chen Hongji. I once likened my Teacher’s abilities in Healing to weaving a complex tapestry with a thousand needles at the same time, which is downright impossible for a normal human mind, while the good Brigadier made some real big brain plays during Bai Qi’s siege of the Central Citadel when he single-handedly took command of every Imperial unit in the field like some omniscient mind playing a real life game of real time strategy.

These two examples show the benefits of a refined mind. You’d think refining the mind would fall under the same umbrella as refining the body, seeing how the brain is a physical organ after all, but it somehow seems right to separate the two. The mind is more than just the human brain after all, because even if you could take all the information stored in the brain and store it in a different medium, that doesn’t mean you’ve copied a human mind. We are more than the sum total of the information we’ve gathered, because how we interpret that information is a large part of our identity. Each and every person possesses their own unique perspective, even two twins who grow up in the exact same environment and experience the same trials and tribulations. I think, therefore I am, a fairly straightforward statement as far as philosophical declarations go, meaning that the mind is pivotal to the human condition, for how can you know you exist if you are without thought?

And the soul? That also has something to do with one’s ability to process information, as evidence by how I went full derp after my soul got too big for my Core, but how it all comes together is still a mystery...

So how does one go about refining one’s mind? No fucking clue, to say nothing of trying to do the same with something as ineffable as the soul. What’s worse is that even if I could open my eyes and ask someone for advice, the Abbot and Monk Bones aren’t around to answer any questions. Seriously, the Abbot has some nerve going unconscious for so long, like he’s trying to compete with me for more hours spent in a coma. If he wants the record so bad, he can have it, because being in a coma sucks. I can’t even visit Buddy and make sure he’s doing okay, as my Natal Palace has been closed to me since falling unconscious. Probably because I expended too much of my physical, mental, and emotional strength Healing Dad from a bolt to the heart, but if that’s the case, then just leave me wholly unconscious instead of trapped in my own mind. I don’t even know how long I’ve lain here, though I’m pretty sure I’ve been drifting in and out of consciousness for awhile now. Days at the very least, possibly weeks, but hopefully not months just yet.

...

Huh.

Physical. Mental. Emotional.

Body. Mind. Soul?

I never really consciously thought about it, but it all lines up pretty well, right? Well, not entirely since I know that emotions are merely a physiological response to certain chemicals produced by the human brain and body, but I also know that there is power in emotion, which is linked to both the Soul and the Energies of the Heavens. Monk Bones said Aura targets the mind through empathy, but what if he’s wrong and Aura targets the Soul instead? That would make more sense, right? Does that change things? Maybe, but I can’t really say how, only that it feels like an important distinction to hold onto.

Body, mind, and soul. Physical, mental, and emotional energy.

...

Ooh, another light-bulb.

All this time, I’ve been associating Void Shattering with bringing the physical and metaphysical together as one, but I neglected to account for the mind and soul. Is there a... meta-mental and meta-emotional aspect I’m missing out on? Do I need to link all three with their meta counterparts in order to truly succeed? Ping Ping’s ascension came upon her during a moment of extreme emotional duress, so there might well be something to this newfangled theory of mine, though mostly I’m convinced because it just feels right. Balance is key to the Dao, balance in all things, so if I merge the physical and meta-physical as one, how can I neglect the mind and soul?

I’m still at a loss on the how, but I’ve got nothing but time to ponder and pontificate as I drift through the endless darkness hidden behind my eyelids.

Maybe it’s time I revisited the whole JiangHu experience, the aftermath of which left me unable to control my own body. I never really took the time to explore what happened, but in my defence, that’s because immediately after I fixed the issue, I woke up to a squad of Enemy Divinities literally standing across from me. Given the circumstances, it’s really not my fault I didn’t take any time for introspection and self-analysis, but let’s start at the beginning.

During the withdrawal from JiangHu, I personally experienced a sort of limited omniscience that enabled me to carry out all sorts of miracles. Now I could set my sights on replicating that state of existence in an attempt to find answers regarding the Martial Dao, but I don’t feel like its the right way forward. Even though I don’t remember much of Ping Ping’s ascension, I remember knowing, i mean really knowing and understanding what I was doing at the time, a state of comprehension I never experienced during the whole kerfuffle in JiangHu. That limited omniscience meant that if I wanted to know something, the information would come to me, but the knowledge would fade as quickly as it came rather than create any sort of lasting impression. Even though I remember most of what I did in JiangHu, it feels like more of a dream than Ping Ping’s ascension, of which I remember almost nothing. Losing those memories felt like lopping off an arm, whereas forgetting what I did in JiangHu felt natural, because that knowledge was never mine to begin with.

So if I have a choice, I would rather follow in Ping Ping’s footsteps than rely on the Energy of the Heavens to fulfill my Will. Okay, so maybe the Abbot’s right and I’m being too picky about my next step, but so what? If I try to Shatter the Void with anything less than one-hundred percent conviction, then failure is all that will await me, so I might as well try to do it right.

That being said, even though I don’t think the steps I took in JiangHu brought me down the right Path, that doesn’t mean I can’t learn from my mistakes. What did I do to achieve that state of limited omniscience? Well, first, Zhen Shi put me through the emotional wringer by tricking me out of my Natal Palace and into his Keystone robes, which probably isn’t the best way to phrase it since that just sounds so much worse. Inside his keystone, I experienced life as a slave once again, where I was tormented day in and day out by the ghosts of my past, so similar to what I experienced prior to Forming my Natal Palace with help from the Demon that was formerly Vivek Daatei. That seems so long ago, when I fell willingly into that Demon’s illusion because I so desperately wanted to believe in it and be happy for once, but those ephemeral delusions paled in comparison to the intricate complexities of Zhen Shi’s crafting.

Much as I would love to forget it all and move on, I cannot help but fall deep into a pitfall of horrific memories and relive those insidious nightmares once again. The time spent in the mines was far from the worst of it, because no matter how bad things got, I always found it in me to fight back. Sure, I had my moments of weakness when I gave in and mutilated myself to avoid worse, but the pain of losing a finger is nothing compared to many of the other tortures I was subjected to. To this day, I have no idea how many perceived weeks, months, or years I endured trapped in Zhen Shi’s illusions, but even if I spent a hundred years suffering under the bristleboars’ none too gentle ministrations, I know I would not break.

No, what broke me was the illusion of and subsequent crushing of hope, as Zhen Shi made me believe I’d escaped only to force me to watch as my friends and family were slaughtered or tortured before my very eyes.

And so I gave up. I surrendered. I fled into the darkness of the Void in search of nihility and non-existence, because even at my worst, I was too afraid to die.

A familiar presence brushes at the edges of my unconscious perception as I wallow in my own misery, one so innocent and insistent that I could not ignore it even if I wanted to. Glad for the distraction from my own self-pity, I reach out to the presence in a desperate effort to connect, like a blind, drowning man flailing about for anything to hold on to. Difficult to describe how I know the presence is there or how I approach it from within the dark stillness of my unconscious isolation, but the presence reaches out for me even as I blindly reach out for it, and when we finally connect, I am overwhelmed by the surge of joy and affection that comes crashing into me.

Hi Mama Bun! How’d you find me? Yes, I’m happy you’re here too. I can’t come play just yet, I need to rest and recuperate first, but don’t worry. I’m sure it won’t be long.

Difficult to convey all of the above using only my emotions, and I’m not entirely sure how much Mama Bun understands, for I can sense her disappointment, frustration, and general dissatisfaction with the lack of kisses, hugs, scritches, and treats. Our little reunion doesn’t last nearly long enough, but then I realize there’s another presence waiting nearby, and this time, connecting is as easy as turning a hand. Ping Ping’s love and concern is no less than Mama Bun’s, but the sweet turtle is quicker to pick up on the message I’m trying to convey, and she offers a burst of affectionate support before ambling off to go about her day. Pong Pong is next, but his greeting is far more casual and laid back, as if he knew I was fine all along and is just checking in to make sure. Buoyed by their warm intentions, I reach out in search of other nearby presences and find many nearby, but none as close as Mama Bun, Ping Ping, or Pong Pong. Probably because they’re sleeping pressed up against me, while these other presences are further, but there are also some that feel close, but less... distinct, I suppose, like there’s a pane of clouded glass between us preventing me from seeing them clearly and making contact.

Regardless of how defined the presence feels, I reach out to them nonetheless, and my first response if from Aurie who is all too delighted to say hi. My silly wildcat isn’t as coherent as Mama Bun, Ping Ping, or Pong Pong as he transmits a jumbled mess of emotions all at once, with happiness coming in clearly over a layer of muted discontent. He has grievances he wants me to address it seems, and he demands hugs and kisses too, but no matter how I try, I can’t really get him to understand I can’t just wake up and play with him just yet. In the end, I give up on trying to convey any real message at all and just send him all my love and affection, which he happily accepts and returns with warmth and happiness.

At least he’s not afraid, which means he’s probably safe, so there’s that.

One by one, I reach out to the remaining presences, but only the floofs respond. Banjo and Baloo are having a grand old time, while Sarankho is a little bored and Jimjam nervous as always. My prettiest kitty would be much happier roaming about the forests of the North, while silly Jimjam is more of a homebody who hates travelling to new places. The bun-buns are sweet as ever, but not all too complex as they greet me with love and hunger aplenty, and Guai-Guai’s full of curiosity and caution until he realizes who it is and loses all interest. Princess checks in to see what all the noise is about, but after acknowledging my presence with a disgruntled detachment, she closes herself off and ignores any further attempts to connect, though she does chime in with a burst of begrudging affection every now and then. Roc is pleased to see me, but doesn’t seem to notice anything amiss except that this is a new method of communication, while Blackjack is a bundle of joy and affection just raring to go out and play. Even Rakky comes to say hi though he doesn’t have much to say, but I think he enjoys the affection and attention I send his way since he comes back for more soon after. Or maybe not so soon, since Mama Bun, Ping Ping, and Pong Pong have all come around several times in between, breaking up the cold monotony of oblivion with their welcome intrusions. Difficult to tell time with nothing to help keep track of the seconds, but for the most part, my visitors come in bursts with long breaks in between, so I assume they’re visiting daily, though they could be coming in twice a day or more.

With help from their joyous little check-ins, I no longer fear falling into another pit of despair as I continue to ponder the Dao and go over everything I know. The hope is that I somehow stumble across the solution to all my woes, but all I find are more questions to plague me. This realization sends me spiralling into pity and self-loathing, but an emotional wellness check from my floofs is more than enough to cure what ails me, a vicious cycle from which I cannot escape so long as I am left alone with my thoughts. After going through it a few dozen times, I’m reminded of a revelation I stumbled across while watching the world pass by from the Call Centre of the Void, the fortress of cheerless, comfortless, solitude I created in order to grind away at my will to exist as I severed all my emotions and desires. While watching the Death Corps die and sharing in their thoughts and memories, I realized that I was experiencing new emotions and desires faster than I could sever them, and concluded that emotion was not a finite resource that could be depleted, but rather a source of power in and of itself which, when driven by Will, can be used to control the Energy of the Heavens.

Which I suppose explains why everyone is capable of regrowing their teeth. Faith is conviction without confirmation, which in a way is also an expression of Will, so if you believe your teeth will regrow, then it just does. Maybe? I don’t know. God, I hope not, because that just raises up so many more questions about faith that I really don’t want to get into. Like if faith is all you need to make something true, then is it possible that the Mother and Father both exist, but only because the collective faith of the Empire have made it so?

No. Stop it. That is a path of endless questions without answers, so let’s try and get back on track. Put aside the Martial Path for now, and let’s talk Heavenly Energy. What do I know? Heavenly Energy is drawn towards emotion, because emotions are the product of the soul. Martial Warriors are people who possess the ability to link their minds and souls as one, thereby creating a Core with which they use to interact with Heavenly Energy, but not directly. Instead, we indirectly draw in Heavenly Energy and mark it with emotion, which as stated early, is a product of the soul, and by intertwining the two, we create Chi. Usable Heavenly Energy essentially, but since our Cores are limited in size, we can only store so much Chi within, and thus have only a finite amount to work with at any given time.

So the million dollar question is: why do humans need a medium to interact with the Energy of the Heavens?

I’m pretty sure animals don’t have Cores, not the same way Martial Warriors do, and my shattered Core didn’t stop me from creating a storm over JiangHu, among so many other miraculous things. I’m not saying I was working with the raw Energy of the Heavens, because I wasn’t. What I did was divest myself of emotion, which I then used to harness Heavenly Energy and direct it with my Will. To put it another way, I was making Chi outside of my Core, and it worked out just fine, so why can’t everyone do the same? What makes me so special?

...

Right. Blobby!

For the longest time, I thought I lost the little droplet of Heavenly Water, but it turns out he was with me all along. Well, part of him was, but I split most of him off to bind the Azure Sea because I realized I could not keep him. I was lacking the capacity to carry him around all the time, and true be told, I still am, because even though he’s only a tiny little droplet in reality, Blobby is a literal force of nature and font of Heavenly Energy, meaning he has a huge otherworldly presence. Whether it’s the mind, body, or soul, I am unable to bear his weight, but he’s chosen to work with me for reasons I assume have to do with my Devouring Talent and has enabled me to do things far beyond what other Martial Warriors can accomplish. Difficult to say how much of what I can do is thanks to him, because like I said, animals don’t have Cores, so I’m pretty sure I don’t need one either, but I’m pretty sure it’s not as easy as it sounds, because if it was, someone else would’ve figured it out by now.

This is the problem with accidental success, the inability to understand the elements responsible for your success.

Wait...

Is that why Zhen Shi went to so much effort to convince me to sever off parts of my soul? I mean, at the time, I thought I was severing fingers, but it’s clear there was more to it than making me take an active part in my own torment. It wasn’t cruelty for the sake of cruelty, he wanted me to sever my own digits for some reason or another, but until now, I never understood why. Maybe there’s been a qualitative change in my soul that enables me to directly convert ambient Heavenly Energy into Chi on the fly, and Zhen Shi wanted to make use of it. The problem is, a soul is a powerful thing, responsible for a person’s innate Domain that renders all foreign Chi ineffective, which means Zhen Shi lacked the ability to just take portions of my soul. That’s why he needed me to chop off pieces myself, because in doing so, I was essentially giving up ownership of whatever portion I lopped off. I have no idea why that would be. I guess it has something to do with Intent? But how is me chopping off a portion of my Natal Soul any different from creating a Spectre? I mean, they’re both severed fragments of soul, but I guess a lost finger lack... agency? Why do Spectres even have agency in the first place?

...I’m getting off track again.

Stopping to indulge in an emotional reunion with Mama Bun, I assure her that we can play again soon, though I’m pretty sure I’ve made the same promise at least two-dozen times already. Thankfully, she is a sweet, guileless soul and harbours no doubts whatsoever, but I would rather not test the limits of her trust. For the first time in a while, I still my thoughts and reach for Balance. The calm comfort of my bed and the warm presence of my best friend rise up to greet me, and I open my eyes to find myself ensconced upon my ‘Natal Throne’, though I’m still not entirely sure what purpose it serves or if my bed or computer chair is the actual Throne itself. Both probably? I dunno. The important thing is, Buddy is here and happy to see me, his tail wagging and paws tapping as he bowls me over with his affection. When the storm of doggy kisses finally abates, he snuggles up in my arms and peers up at me with his expressive brown eyes, so full of love and concern. I think... I think he knows I shouldn’t be here just yet, which I also figured out a little too late. There’s a glaring disconnect with the Natal Palace around me, like everything is covered in a haze that obscures anything more than a few meters away, the consequences of giving too much of myself over to Heal Dad from his injuries.

A price I’d pay a thousand times if necessary, because I don’t know what I’d do without him. Or Mom and my wives, alongside the rest of my family, friends, and floofs.

Though eager to head over to the computer and check on my loved ones, Buddy’s reassuring weight upon my chest keeps me firmly anchored in bed. It’s not that he’s heavy, but he’s just heavy enough that I can’t muster the energy to sit up. Instead, I sink into the warm comfort of my too large bed and cuddle my sweet pup close, not really sleeping, but not entirely awake either, save to respond to my sweet floofs whenever they check in to visit. Time passes, and then one day, instead of just saying hi, Mama Bun pops into my Natal Palace and greets me with an enthusiastic flurry of kisses, which she stops only to greet Buddy in the same way. Ping Ping and Pong Pong join us soon after, but try as I might, I cannot connect with what I know to be Lin-Lin’s presence and tell her I’m alright.

Ah well. Maybe she’ll come visit on her own later.

Even though I’m well enough to accept visitors, I’ve still not recovered enough to bring them out to play. Using their visits to mark the time, around eight days pass before I am well enough to get out of bed, which is a hell of a lot longer than I expected. The first thing I do is carry Buddy while we look out the window, and though much of it is still hazy and indistinct, my Natal Palace looks exactly like I last left it, with the village, the lake, and the void outside.

Shatter the Void. One with the Void. Does that mean I need to open myself up to the Void? How does that work though? The Void is huge and has Spectres in it, so that can’t be right, but what other option is there?

Even though I’m almost fully recovered, I still have no idea what to do next. I can wield tremendous amounts of power, but not without cost, as I am limited by my lacking body, mind, and soul. That’s why I keep passing out, because my... existence can’t handle all the Heavenly Energy passing through me, but I don’t know how to upgrade my stats to better... handle the... burden.

Hang on.

Did I go into a coma after JiangHu?

I mean... I abandoned my body to hide inside the Call Centre of the Void, but I don’t remember passing out for even a minute, much less days, weeks or months. That... doesn’t seem possible, considering how much Heavenly Energy I used to drum up that storm, to say nothing of the other stuff I did. So how come I didn’t have to pay a price? Because I wasn’t using my Core? That’s it, isn’t it? The Core is the medium through which Martial Warriors harness the Energy of the Heavens, but my Core was shattered so I had to use a roundabout method to do what I did. Can I replicate that? Probably, because even though I don’t remember the specifics, I can probably figure it out easily enough. Let’s see... well, first I created the Call Centre of the Void, which was a Natal Palace that existed outside of a Core. Does that mean I actually need to shatter my Core in order to Shatter the Void? No, Dad explicitly said that wasn’t the case, so don’t do anything stupid just yet. Instead, why don’t I just head out and create an add-on to my Natal Palace, one situated outside the Core?

Moving even as the idea occurs to me, I appear at the edge of my Natal Palace and ready myself to step out into the Void, only to find Buddy no longer curled up in my arms but pulling at my pants’ leg and growling up a storm while trembling from head to toe. My heart aches just seeing him so scared, so I quickly scoop him up and return to my bedroom while cooing in wordless apology. That was probably a stupid idea, but I still wanted to try it even if there were Spectres waiting outside to tear me to shreds. Let’s be honest, after Devouring so many of them, I’ve pretty much completely lost my fear of Spectres and see them as more of a nuisance than anything else, but it seems like Buddy knows better. Why though? Why would they pose a threat to me out in the Void?

...

Oh. Duh. Because I’d be outside the innate protection offered by my soul. Even though I’d be out there as a soul. Can I send a Natal Soul out to test? Mm, I probably shouldn’t. The last thing I need is a traitor me telling Zhen Shi all my secrets, which is what I would do if I was captured after I sent myself out to test the waters.

That makes sense, right?

Laying back down to rest, I consign myself to blissful oblivion for just a little longer, until Mama Bun and the others return for another visit. This time, I feel good enough to bring them out to the lake to play, and we have a grand old time swimming and splashing about. When it comes time for them to leave again, I bid them all a fond farewell before bringing Buddy over to the computer to see what’s going on. As the PC powers up, I take a moment to bask in my brilliant workaround to using Chi, because this is a Keystone that surpasses all others. To be completely honest, I have no idea how this PC keystone works, but that doesn’t matter because I don’t really know how a regular computer works either. It just does, but it’s a sort of magic I am familiar with, making it the perfect medium through which to interact with the ineffable Energy of the Heavens.

For example, when I open up a browser to watch a livestream of what happening around me, I know that I’m using some sort of Scrying and I guess Listening to see and hear what’s going on in the world around me, which is then displayed on the monitor in my room, but that’s the same as saying you use a remote to turn on the television. Technically correct, yet utterly lacking in any and all scientific or technological information, but if all you wanna do is watch tv, do you really need to know anymore? This is what I need, to let go of my obsessive need to understand Heavenly Energy and just work with what I know for now, because I can always study and comprehend it later. Right now, I need power, and my Keystone PC provides it in spades.

Thank the Heavens for PC master race. Even though its technically more or less the same, I can’t imagine I would’ve ever made the same connections if I was a console peasant in my previous life.