Diaper U, Chapter One

Now that we've hit the Part Time Job milestone goal, I'll be writing a new patron-exclusive post every month! And that new post, at least for the foreseeable future, will be an ongoing story, 'Diaper U'! 

I've got lots of plans for where to take this. I hope you enjoy.

...

The archway entry of Alphabeta University loomed over Daniel, but his confidence propelled him through into the grand hall.

It was fitting that no person could enter the university, except by self teleportation. Whoever they were, they would have to move through the planes, appear on the entrance, and then walk through the grand hall to one of the university’s many magnificent wings. Nobody skipped this step. Not the dean, not the janitor–to so much as walk in the hallowed halls required exceptional skill, and Daniel Aster had exceptional skill, matched only by his ambition.

Since he gained his first spark of magic, he’d set his sights high. He wouldn’t simply be a powerful magician, he would be the powerful magician. The next Merlin, the next Absalom. A name known for millennia, associated with power and wisdom and sheer cunning.

He wasn’t so arrogant to assume he could reach that height unaided, thought. By his own estimation, Daniel Aster had more raw power than most, and an incredible aptitude for learning, but a scholar needed the best education.

Alphabeta provided the best education, without contest.

There was only one problem.

From the day of its foundation until the present, Alphabeta University had been known as an all-girl’s school.

No man had ever enrolled. No man had ever even taught. It had been a big deal when a man had been hired to redo the shingling on the roof. Alphabeta was, by reputation, a scholarly institution for women only.

Daniel didn’t care. He needed the best education in the world, and Alphabeta would provide it, one way or another…

Which is how he’d arrived there, on exam day, in a borrowed skirt and carefully applied makeup.

He’d been growing his hair out since his nineteenth birthday, wanting it long enough to pass as feminine by the time he could enroll at twenty one. He’d shaved with magic, rendering his face baby-smooth, using makeup to slim his face. He didn’t want any questions thrown his way, so he’d even donned a padded bra beneath his turtleneck shirt. With that, the stockings, and the black-striped skirt, nobody looked at him twice.

This had been a long con, a plan in the making for a long, long time, and now only one task remained.

He just had to pass the entry exam.

Other students bustled around him. Dozens of girls chattering excitedly, nervously, hoping they’d make it in. Nearly a thousand applicants bustled through the halls, and only eighty spots were available in the next class.

A girl across the grand hall glanced at him, curious. He looked away, studiously studying a sign on the ceiling that gave directions to the exam room, as though he didn’t already know the way. He hoped that his disinterest would cast suspicion away from him, but it had the opposite effect, and the girl approached from behind.

“You look lost,” she said. “What’s your name, spark?”

“Spark?” he asked, trying to keep his voice high, still looking up at the sign.

“Newbie. Rookie. You’ve got a bit of power, but you don’t know how to use it,” she said. “What’s your name?”

“I know how to use my power,” he said, finally facing her. She stood almost a foot taller than him, which put her ample cleavage right at eye level–a view Daniel was more than happy with. He leered for a heartbeat, before glancing up at her eyes. “I’m not looking for help, and I’m not lost.”

“Yeah? Check this again,” she said, pointing at her chest. He looked back down, only now noticing the nametag with ‘Prefect’ printed beneath her name, ‘Rachel Haligtree’. “If you do make it in, spark, I’m going to be watching over you to make sure you know your ABC’s, so maybe show a little respect. Name.”

He almost puffed himself up for an argument, but a second’s hesitation told Daniel to stand down. Once he aced the exams, he could start throwing his clout around. Until then, he’d keep his head down. “Dani-el Aster,” he said, pronouncing his name like ‘Danielle’.

Rachel tapped her horn-rimmed glasses, considering. “Your exam starts in twenty minutes. Go down Arturio Hall, all the way at the end. You’ll see your room.”

Daniel started to say, ‘I know,’ but just shook it off. “Thanks.”

“See? You can learn,” Rachel replied, spinning away to go harass some other potential student.

Adjusting the bra, annoyed by the straps over his shoulders, Daniel began marching towards his exam room, following Rachel’s directions. Just get through the exams, then you can take this stupid outfit off.

…

The best thing about magical exams?

No wait for grading–the results came back instantly, spell-o-matic. The top eighty entrants were listed off, hanging from an enormous banner in the grand hall, showing who had made it.

Daniel didn’t have to search for long. His name appeared seventh down–he hadn’t simply passed, he had aced the exam, came in the top percent of all entrants.

He was in, and the time for the charade was over.

Reaching for his pocket, it took Daniel a moment to recall that he had no pockets on this outfit; he instead snapped his fingers to conjure his wand. He’d balked at tradition; the long, slender stick wand was so old-school it made him gag, his wand was just big enough to fit in his hand, a smooth round piece of polished wood with a grain that matched the lifelines on his palm.

With a little shake, his skirt transmuted into a more comfortable, baggy pair of denim jeans, his makeup melted into air, and his bra and top morphed into a snug T-shirt. His preferred attire. Around him, a few other applicants were distracted from the scores on the wall, whispering and pointing, but Daniel ignored them and strolled away, in the direction of the Dean’s office.

He’d only made it five steps before a hand caught the collar of his shirt, yanking him up. After a second, Daniel recognized he’d made a mistake–he hadn’t been caught by a hand, but rather, a spell that suspended him in the air.

The girl from before, the prefect, stalked forward. Her own wand was out, a piece of ribbon with lace and gemstones along one end. “Okay, just what exactly are you doing here?”

“Going to speak to the dean.” Daniel crossed his arms. “I want to clear up some confusion. It’s Rachel, right?”

Rachel stalked up to him, getting her nose right in his face–since he’d been hoisted up, they shared the same eye level. “Maybe you haven’t heard, but boys aren’t allowed here.”

“Maybe you haven’t heard, but I aced the exam,” Daniel shot back, pointing to the banner. “I’m already in. Now let me down, and I’ll go speak to the dean.”

Glaring furiously, Rachel flicked her ribbon wand. The material cracked, and Daniel found the cuff of his shirt released–instead, Rachel’s spell seized him by the back of his tighty-whities, hoisting him in the air with a particularly intense wedgie.

He winced and his legs flailed, kicking to try and push off the floor and release some of the weight. “HEY!”

“You want to see the dean?” Rachel fumed. “Fine. Let’s go see the dean.” With one more flick, she lifted him up some ten feet so that he dangled above everyone’s heads, underwear straining to support the whole weight of his body.

A few of the other students giggled, more pointed. Daniel’s face burned, half with embarrassment, half with discomfort as the fabric chafed between his cheeks and compressed his balls into his body. “Put me down!”

“Make me,” Rachel replied, rolling her eyes.

Screwing up his face with anger and annoyance, Daniel flicked his wrist and tried to dispel the magic, but Rachel’s levitation persisted. On his second attempt, the magic recoiled, sparking in his hand–he dropped his wand towards the floor, and Rachel snatched it out of the air.

“Come along,” she said, waving a hand. The levitation began to carry him forward, over the heads of the other applicants, floating right out of the grand hall and down a corridor towards the faculty offices.

Daniel kicked and squirmed, the underwear burning between his legs. “I’ll have you expelled for this!”

“You assume anyone cares what a little boy who plays dress-up thinks,” Rachel replied. “Why did you come here? Just as a joke? To have a laugh?”

“Because I wanted to enroll,” he snapped, reaching down to try and lift himself up out of the boxers, to relieve some of the weight. Pushing both hands around the waistband, he accomplished his goal, but in doing so his center of balance shifted. He began to rock forward in the air, tipping with nothing to hold onto, until he fell forward and down to the ground–with his underwear and pants still suspended ten feet up.

Naked from the waist down–save for his sneakers–Daniel flushed bright red and covered himself with his hands.

“Oh, wow,” Rachel commented.

Standing, he looked up, but his pants were stuck to his underwear, and his underwear was still levitated ten feet in the air. “Give those back!” he demanded, trying to cover his bits with one hand while jumping for his underwear with the other.

“No,” Rachel said, simply.

He wheeled to face her, blushing, his only reprieve being that they weren’t still in the grand hall surrounded by other students–only a few passing girls saw him in his half-naked state. “What’s your problem?”

“My problem is you, trying to undermine the integrity of Alphabeta with your stupid trick,” Rachel shot back. “You do not belong here. You should not have come here, and unless you promise to turn around and leave as soon as I give your big-boy shorts back, I have zero reason to be nice to you.”

Daniel might have stood up for himself more, but it was hard to build self-confidence without any pants on. Rather than continue the argument, he just spun on his heels and marched towards the dean’s office–surely, the dean would at least see reason and make Rachel give his pants back.

Throwing open the door, he marched right in, willing his cheeks to stop blushing so brightly.

The dean looked like every bit of the scholarly witch–half moon spectacles, classic black robes, and a black, pointed hat. She glanced up, raising a single eyebrow at the spectacle marching up to her desk.

“Can I help you?” she asked. On her desk, a nameplate read, ‘Dr. Penelope Madrigal’.

“Daniel Aster,” he said, simply. “I’m a part of the new class, I need to talk to you about some discrepancies.”

She looked between his legs, then up at him. “Where are your pants, young lady?”

“I–Rachel stole them, the prefect,” Daniel said, uncertainly. “She got up in my face and said I didn’t belong.”

“I see,” Dr. Madrigal sighed. “I’m sorry, Miss Aster. I’ll of course ensure this is dealt with, Alphabeta is an institution that prides itself on accepting all–”

“I’m not a Miss,” Daniel cut in.

“Mrs.?” the dean asked, curiously. “Or do you prefer ‘Ms.’?”

“Mister, if you please,” Daniel said. “I’m a man.”

Dr. Madrigal blinked a couple times, absorbing that information. “I… see.”

“I went over your rules exhaustively,” Daniel continued. “Strictly speaking, there’s nothing in the charter that explicitly prohibits male students–the only rules have to do with the entrance exams. Once you’ve passed, you’re enrolled, and that’s all there is to it. I passed. I’m going to be a student. I had to fudge some of my paperwork to get on the exam, but that doesn’t matter once the exam’s over.”

The dean leaned forward, tapping something on her desk. “Rachel Haligtree, please report to my office. Oh, and bring this boy’s pants.” She eyed Daniel again. “Let’s say you didn’t miss something, that you really can bypass five hundred years of tradition on a loophole–why, exactly, are you here?”

“Because, you’re the best.” Daniel kept his hands crossed over his naked lap, but tried to project confidence. “I want to learn with the best. Oh, and if you kick me out for being a guy, I’m going to sue you.”

Her face hardened, but before she could say anything else, Rachel pushed in the door.

“Miss Haligtree, did you steal this boy’s pants?” she asked.

“Yes ma’am,” Rachel replied. “And I’d do it again.”

“If what he tells me is correct, he’s a student here,” the dean said. “And you know you aren’t supposed to discipline students, except for those kept under your wing.”

Rachel hesitated. “Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Dr. Madrigal leaned forward, a quill pen appearing in her hand, a particular document apparating onto her table. “I’m assigning Aster to your wing. He’s already broken a series of school rules–it seems he fabricated quite a bit of information to get into the exam, so discipline is in order.”

Daniel blinked in surprise, glancing back nervously at Rachel.

“Is there a problem, Mister Aster?” the dean asked. “Or did you think that we don’t punish rulebreaking here?”

“No, it’s fine,” Daniel said. “I’m willing to accept whatever penalties I’ve incurred.”

“Sixty day’s detention,” the dean said, simply. “Rachel will determine what exactly that amounts to, and which days those end up being–we’ll make it fifty nine days, since she’s already shown you some discipline today. I’m sure she’ll be strict, but fair.”

Daniel swallowed, but he’d come this far. He could deal with a little punishment.

“Be sure to put in your sizes for your uniform,” the dean added. “We’ve got a dress code here,  and running naked through the halls hardly complies.”

“I… yes, ma’am,” Daniel said. “Are we good?”

She glanced at him over her half-moon spectacles, considered for a moment, and nodded. “You’re dismissed. Welcome to Alphabeta University.”