Grotesque portraits// Working at Michael's

I did four portraits last night. I think it was a success. I'm going to try it out at the show opening tomorrow night. Here's another one from last night. I forgot to take pictures of the other 2.

Here's some of the other ones I did for practice.

There was one more practice one I forgot to take a picture. 

I gotta remember to take pictures every single time.

Happy March 8th Everyone

I went to Michael's the other day to get foam cor to make the sign for my grotesque portraits.

I ran into Mr. B. 

When I worked there about 10 years ago, Mr. B had a booth where he did custom floral arrangements with the fake flowers Michael's sells. Stems as we called them. 

They got rid of his floral booth and now he just does replenishment and that sort of thing.

They started calling him Mr. B because his name is Brian and there were already two Brian's working there when he started. 

He wanted to be called "Gay Brian." But management wouldn't allow it.

When I started working we tried to give  "Gay Brian," another shot. But it made everyone uncomfortable. Except for me and Mr. B. We thought it was hilarious and everyone's discomfort encouraged us to do it more. 

For Halloween Mr. B had to carve these fake pumpkins that Michael's was selling. To display at his floral booth and showcase to customers how they could carve the pumpkins.  

We carved "Gay Brian" into one of the pumpkins. We each got a talking to for that one. 

We used to take long cigarette breaks and get yelled at for it. The managers always had to make sure that it was never just me and him working the floor because nothing would get done. We'd just take cigarette breaks and hide from customers.

When I saw him on Tuesday we talked about shoplifters. 

When I worked there back in the day I was working as head cashier. The phone rang 

"Thanks for calling Michael's in Whittier today how can I direct your call?"

The guy on the other end said "Yeah I'm out in the parking lot and I just watched a guy steal all your drones."

"...okay...thanks."

I hesitated and then told my manager. 

"Some guy called. Someone took our drones I guess."

"How many drones?"

"I guess all of them."

It was like $2,000 worth of drones. The managers hated me. The managers hated everyone. If it wasn't the drones it would be something else. At any Michael's you go to, you can tell who the manager is because they look the most angry.

Apparently the shoplifting has gotten way worse since my era. This Michaels hardly sells any of the paints or drawing supplies I need anymore because they reliably will get stolen.

Anyways. Mr. B asked me if I wanted to work there again. 

I thought he was joking because we talk  about how horrible it is to work there every time I see him.  But he was serious. 

He said "you can choose your own hours and work at your own pace."

I laughed at that. And he said, "Seriously, I work at my own pace."

I said "you do?"

He said "yeah that's what they tell us now. "work at your own pace." They don't mean it, ya know, they still get on you about working too slow or not doing enough and all that. But they also say "work at your own pace," when they're trying to hire people. So there's this chair over by framing and I'll go sit in it for a while, take off my vest, open a soda, and if they ask me to get back to work I say "I'm working at my own pace.""

I imagined Mr. B with an umbrella drink and one of those foil things that people hold under their faces to get a tan. Soaking in the rays of the florescent lighting at Michael's.

Have Fun

Goodnight Sweeties