NokiMo
Shirtaloon
Shirtaloon

patreon


Chapter 972: Little Umbrellas

“Thank you,” Jason said as he shook Velius’ hand. “You helped my family at a dangerous time, when the clan was being established and I couldn’t be there. You have my gratitude.”

“You should direct your gratitude to the Reaper. I serve at its pleasure. Speaking of which, the clan is now stabilised, and you are here. It is time for me to attend to other duties.”

“You’ve been here a long time. Did it bother you, being stuck in this place?”

“I do as is required of me. It has been an opportunity to give the Reaper’s other servants a chance at responsibility. I have been a prime vessel several times longer than most, but even I cannot hold the role forever. And my time here has not been without pleasantness. Such a low-magic world has been a relaxing place in which to stay.”

“You have some goodbyes to make before you go?”

“I am sure that you can explain,” Velius said, then burst into a cloud of rainbow smoke, his clothes falling to the floor.

Jason backed off waving a hand in front of his nose.

“Bloke, this is a hospital,” he complained, despite now being alone in Velius’ office. “Don’t just blow up your avatar like that.”

***

“…lived in the Storm Kingdom for a while,” Jason said, “and it’s where Zara is from. I thought visiting the Earth equivalent would be a fun trip.”

Yumi Asano looked to be in her early thirties, despite being Jason’s maternal grandmother. Her flesh-warping powers allowed her to look however she liked, along with a lifespan long even by essence user standards. She usually kept her apparent age a little older than the mid-twenties that most essence users appeared to be.

“Jason,” his grandmother said. “When you suggested a beach day, I was thinking something here in France. The beaches are empty and the vampires won’t go within a hundred miles of your territories. For you, in person, I’m guessing they’ll double that.”

“You don’t think it’s a little macabre, visiting beaches abandoned because everyone has fled or been killed?”

“I think you and your friends are a force that could take any country on Earth and wipe it off the Earth. I also think that the lot of you turning up on a beach in Aruba unannounced might cause an international incident.”

“It’s not illegal for me to go to the beach, Grandmother.”

“You have a visa? A valid passport?”

“Okay, yes, it’s technically illegal. But, and I know this is going to sound bad, but I’m kind of above the law.”

“You’re right,” she told him. “That does sound bad.”

“I know, but that’s just kind of how it is. I mean, I stole a couple of chunks of Europe. I didn’t mean to, but I’m not giving them back. Once you’ve reached the ‘seizing sovereign territory stage,’ you’ve pretty much left the life of a law-abiding citizen behind. Which reminds me, should I vacate my Australian citizenship? I’m definitely not going to bother with the laws there, and I’m technically a foreign head of state. And also, I am a foreign state. My universe doesn’t have a formalised government, but I count as an autocratic ruler, right? A de facto one, at least.”

“Jason, the world is watching you, and it’s scared. After you finally explaining everything and the visits to your own private universe, the world is still figuring out what to do about you. More precisely, it’s coming to terms with the fact that it can’t do anything about you, and that is not a position people with large armies and nuclear weapons are used to. We don’t know how well, or even if, they are going to accept it. This is not the time for you to use international relations as fodder for light banter.”

“I was raising serious issues, Grandmother.”

“Yes, which is why I know that you and Anna Tilden have already been discussing them for months, as she has with me. Don’t go pretending you just realised these issues right now.”

“Sorry Nanna,” he said, his contrite body language wildly unconvincing. She raised her eyebrows threateningly.

“Grandmother,” he corrected.

“Jason, you need to consider whether touring around with your friends is worth a potential international incident.”

Jason neither moved nor changed, yet Yumi felt an unmistakable shift. Her insouciant grandson was gone, and someone she didn’t recognise was in his place.

“Grandmother,” he said, his voice reverberating in her soul. “I brought my friends here specifically so we could tour around the world, which is exactly what I’m going to do. I would say gods help anyone who tries to make trouble, but I’ve met gods. They’ll need more help than that.”

The spell broke and Jason flashed his familiar impish grin.

***

The most powerful force the Earth had ever seen stepped off the double decker streetcar, dressed like they’d all raided Jason’s closet. Shorts, sandals, straw hats and garish floral shirts abounded. Jason watched Rufus and Humphrey with a disgruntled expression as they stood side by side, gazing out at the ocean.

“We’re wearing the exact same clothes,” he complained to no one in particular. “How do I look like I just got fleeced at the local market, and they look like a tourism poster?”

Along with Jason and his otherworldly companions were many clan members. With around forty people having shuffled off the cloud vehicle disguised as a streetcar, they were already gaining attention. Their auras were all masked as normal people, but there was no hiding their athletic bodies and rank-polished features.

Even more attention-getting than what looked like a modelling agency on a field trip were the inhuman members of the group. Elves and celestines added compelling and unconventional beauty. The more overtly alien, like the handful of looming leonids, stood out most of all. None of this was unheard of, however, twenty years after the transformation crisis. Humans being changed into other species was a known, if unusual, phenomenon. More than any political movement, some of them getting internet famous normalised it faster than anything else.

“You might want to get rid of the streetcar before a real one comes along,” Itsuki pointed out.

“Good point,” Jason said. “I might let our army of sexy aliens head down to the beach and distract all the looky-loos first.”

Itsuki Tiwari’s family was one of two Japanese families taken in by Jason’s clan after being ousted from their own for helping him. Itsuki himself had travelled with Jason for a time, before three of their companions were killed by Jack Gerling. Not only had that shaken the then-young man, but Jason made for a grim companion after. The other family was part of the Network Asano clan, and Jason noted Itsuki’s longing gaze in the direction of Akari Asano.

“Still with this?” Jason asked. “Mate, what’s going on?”

Itsuki turned red and hushed him.

“Don’t worry, bloke; no one can hear us. I’m using my aura as a privacy screen.”

“You can do that?”

“Mate, I made a universe.”

“I suppose that would be harder.”

“What happened with you and Akari? She knock you back?”

“No! I mean, no. I mean…”

“What?”

“I haven’t, strictly speaking, asked her out.”

“What?”

“I never found the right time.”

“Oh, I see. In the sixteen years I’ve been gone, the right time never came up. It definitely wasn’t that you’ve got a terminal case of absentee balls. At this point it isn’t procrastination, mate. It’s stalking.”

“She’s my best friend, alright? I don’t want to ruin it.”

“How are you going to ruin it?”

“What if she finds out I’m desperately in love with her and she rejects me?”

“I hate to break it to you mate, but she already knows, and has done for a long, long time. She’s your best friend, and you’re not doing a great job of hiding it.”

“You think?”

“Yes, mate.”

“Doesn’t that mean she doesn’t…”

“I don’t know. It might mean she’s scared of you scurrying off like a scared little mouse if she confronted you on it.”

“Why would she think that?”

“Dude, sixteen years and you haven’t mustered up the nuggets to tell her.”

“Why does it have to be me? She probably doesn’t think of me that way. I mean, she could have said something.”

“Yep. You might just be perfect for one another. Or, maybe she did try.”

“What?”

The main group had wandered far enough away that Jason didn’t startle too many people when the streetcar turned into cloud and got sucked into the flask he set out on the ground. A few people noticed and started taking videos with their phone, but it wasn’t too outlandish. Earth had spent the last two decades coming to grips with magic.

“What do you mean, she did try?” Itsuki asked, hopping foot-to-foot like a schoolboy in need of the toilet.

“Tell me if this sounds familiar. You and Akari were talking, and you got nervous because you thought she’d realise you were in love with her, so you changed the subject or ran away.”

“I wouldn’t say ran. Maybe a cool saunter.”

“Itsuki, I hate to break it to you, but you never have and never will saunter in your life. You just don’t have it in you. But you see what I’m saying, right? She’s been trying to tease you out of your shell, but you keep shrinking back inside. Now she’s stuck waiting for you to come out on your own.”

The cloud material finished returning to the flask, which shrunk into an amulet for Jason to hang back on his necklace. He and Itsuki started strolling after the others.

“You’re very confident about this, given it’s entirely assumptions and guesswork,” Itsuki said.

“What makes you think it’s assumptions and guesswork?”

“You’ve been gone for sixteen years. You don’t know what’s happened in all that time.”

“Yeah, but I’ve already talked about all this with Akari.”

“WHAT?”

***

The beachgoers had originally been nervous when a mass of clouds rolled over the beach only to turn into a beach bar. At first, only Jason’s group attended, until someone was bold enough to go in and livestream an impromptu interview with Jason. A few more people were bold enough to go in and order drinks, and by mid-afternoon, the place was flourishing.

“You could be a little more accommodating with the beverage selection,” Emi said as she and her uncle worked the bar. “Not every drink needs to be neon coloured and have a little umbrella in it.”

“Yes, they do. And the icy poles don’t have little umbrellas in them.”

“They have tropic flowers frozen in them.”

“Yeah, but you love that.”

“Yeah,” Emi admitted with a grin. “You know, we should do this more. A hot chocolate stand in the Alpine snow. A snow cone kiosk in the Serengeti.”

“That’s a very good idea,” Jason said. “You know, I heard you weren’t very smart, but you do occasionally stumble onto a—”

He laughed as she slapped him on the shoulder.

“As nice as this is,” she said, “I know you have a lot of things to do. The messengers living in the clan have been waiting for you to come back.”

“I know. I have a lot more messengers than that to deal with, and that’s going to get complicated. I’ve actually set something up for tonight…”

Jason trailed off as his mind short circuited. There were no shortage of attractive people in swimwear in the bar, but the sapphire-haired Zara looked like she’d been sent from space to turn the brains of Earth men into soup. Jason was halfway to the water before his brain turned back on, vaguely processing that his sister had taken over at the bar as Zara led him away.

“It’s hard to believe that this is the same place as Rimaros, back in my world,” she said. “Even the shape of the island is different.”

“No magic storms,” Jason said. In the hand not being used by Zara to tow him along, he found a drink in a coconut shell, with pineapple leaves and a little umbrella sticking out. He took a sip before shoving into his inventory as they reached the water.

***

Boris descended towards the isolated dwelling, its location in the savannah far from any civilisation. Nestled amongst scraggly trees, the villa was all curves and natural materials, blending into the landscape. Boris landed in the long grass, the wings on his back vanishing. From the porch, Tera Jun Casta looked at him. Her impassive face showed none of the roiling emotions he could sense in her aura.

“You’re barely in time,” she said.

“You might also say that I’m exactly on time.”

Between them, an obsidian arch rose from the grass and filled with shadowy energy, forming a portal.

“Are you ready?” Boris asked.

“No,” Tera said. “But when did that ever matter?”

Previous                                                                                                                                                Next

Comments

Maternal grandmother means mother's mother. Yumi is his paternal grandmother

Nadav Gur-Arieh

Thx for the chapter

Kconraw

Completely forgot Bertinelli came along until you mentioned it. I feel like we almost need a passenger list to keep it straight. There are so many random people as well but I suppose that might be by design to give shirt wiggle room with the story?

victoria bettley

I was just coming down to post this. You are correct.

nerdengineering

So often I laugh. The world needs more laughter. Tyftc. I already talked with her, was the line this chapter

Chloe

This is such a lovely chapter, it refilled my health and mana

Nea

I mean they did get Rufus’ mom to join the the drinking game. Maybe they’ll get his woman to be in on the joke.

Caity O'Connell

I thought it has been hinted at that his assistant director has eyes on him he’s just completely ignorant. Like she has feelings for him when she was his assistant or minder while he was under lock and key of the magic association

Chris Cahill

Nah, ex maybe, but I can't see them doing that to an actual person, especially one so devoted to Clive.

Havics Child

Correct Yumi is his father’s mother and is Japanese. She also prefers grandmother and his mom’s side prefers Nanna

Caity O'Connell

Rereading the series (again) and I wonder when Clive finds a girlfriend/ wife if all the inside wife jokes become ex wife jokes? That would be hilarious. All the while the girlfriend will be confused and pity Clive until she gets in on it when she becomes the wife lol

Caity O'Connell

It's been revoked

Isaac Scharff

True. Queen Elizabeth didn't have a passport. I assume that Charles had one when he was Prince of Wales, but presumably he no longer needs it. So Jason should be able to travel without one -- although all his friends might need docs. Except that Pallimustus doesn't bother with that level of bureaucracy, lucky them!

Laura Hemly

Thanks for the chapter!!!!

Jose Reyna

I thought Yumi was Jason’s Paternal Grandmother. His father is the Japanese one right? Or am I remembering incorrectly? I could be. 🤔

DirePants

TYFTC!

Rachel Clements

And the cover should be embossed with "And all I got was this passport."

Moonray

It occurs to me that Jason is a Sovereign ruler; he doesn’t need a passport to travel. He should issue, or have issued, passports in his name to his clan and allies.

Arieh Sochaczevski

Maybe after a decade make a hard move lady, like jeez

ItsFin

Why is this book so damn good? Lol

brian phillips

It was definitely missing a "diplomatic immunity" reference. Jason is gold rank and his memory won't let him forget such an epic setup from Lethal Weapon 2.

Nerdy Chimera

The new GAB, the Eternal Grandmother!

Thomas Todd

@soli116 😂😂 It was indeed autocorrect! Possibly not a bad term for a grandmother who looks younger than her grandchildren 🤔

Aaron Pell

My feeling is a lot of these chapters have the feel of epilogue chapters. Some cool tid bits and info coming but the pacing makes it feel as if we are not moving towards anything. With every major arch there has been an over arching force or presents or destination we were heading for. This is like build up without knowing its build up if that makes sense? Most books we have a feeling for what’s to come from the first couple chapters but I believe we are more than 20 chapters in and we have 3 major points - vampire blood oaks - reality core farming - big battle when the bridge is completed that involves messengers and astral kings Between those points there has been a lot of Jason brooding again and coming to terms with his new power and position in the world. There are a lot of balls in the air and my impression is people feel shirt doesn’t know where he wants to take the story. Me personally I feel the pacing has been off but I can see a bigger picture forming of what’s to come so I’m excited for it.

AfroMocha

“Not every drink needs to be neon coloured and have a little umbrella in it.” [Whimsical Australian music stops]

Liesmith

Thank you for the chapter 😁!

DreadHawk666 Aron

It's there, it's just a tad meandering right now which I personally don't mind as long as things continue to be fun and entertaining, but I get that some people want a more consistent and rapid pacing.

Sean C Jackson

I know he saw her when he returned to Rimaros briefly before coming to Earth, but she wasn't mentioned as being on the trip, although she could be if Shirt decides to add her. I mean, Jason even brought his tailor, Gilbert Bertinelli, along so having Autumn there to see tiny umbrellas would be fun. Although she'd have to bring her HUGE familiar along, which could be a drawback!

Laura Hemly

@Lesley Holmes, we've had the blood oak tree. We've had the huge rift in Pakistan, I think it was, that took everyone Jason brought to fight. And while Jason is showing his friends and family around Earth, there's a group -- led by Farrah -- looking into who's farming reality cores, which is going to become a huge thing shortly. You think this is lightweight? Yes, there are scenes involving Jason's family and friends on Earth, but there's some major plot developing at the same time!

Laura Hemly

She was only 18 when Jason freed her, so isn't think she was yet embodying an eternal mindset.

Kristy Riedel

I love the autocorrect (I'm assuming) of maternal to eternal.

Soli116

I read with an emphasis on off. It helped.

Soli116

Yumi is the Japanese shapeshifter, young looking one. I don't remember what the other grandmother got. I do remember she enjoyed beer. Yumi was not impressed with Nanna's skill at drinking.

Jennifer Leigh

Nice to have new material to read but since the return to Earth the work seems really light weight and just a collection of wayward thoughts and no real plot advancement. Just my opinion so don't shoot me.

Lesley Holmes

Yep

Lesley Holmes

Loved the chapter :)

Ethan

No move from Itsuki? C'mon bloke

Justin Butler

I'm assuming she'd stick with the theme blue two piece with a blue lacey half skirt over the top

Justin Butler

No, you are right. Yumi is an Asano and Glenda is Cheryl's mom.

Sam

I thought Glenda was Jason's eternal grandmother and Yumi was his paternal grandmother? Or did I get them the wrong way around again? 😂😅

Aaron Pell

I really love this series, I know there are magic powers and world ending dynamics going on but… then everything becomes grounded and human, thank you Shirt.

Alejandro Piña

I really hope he writes it where they both cry and she's like "I hated you for so long. I think I still hate you but thank you" and he says "I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I didn't know what else to do" then they hug and cry and she marries the other girl messenger and Jason is the flower boy

Teddy Torres

Not arguing that but you gotta take into account that he violated her to save himself and not kill her in the process while she was trying to kill him and a bunch of innocent people because she was brain washed by a cult. She definitely still has trauma, no question. I just don't think she would want to attack him after all this time

Teddy Torres

Get rufied, black out and not remember your trauma. Trust me your body remembers and soul remembers. It is just a thing that lives within you. . Tera may have grown but she will probably always have a very rough sentiment towards Jason. (I could be wrong, who know how Shirt will write it)

Crystal Donak

He violated her. No matter the reasons and the benevolence behind it. That stuff haunts you for life. Even if you grow and change.

Crystal Donak

Or tea afternoon tea party on a beach…

Samuel Strode

Her soul was violated she didn’t have her choice given to her it’s like loosing a limb or waking up after being drugged and not feeling right the next morning you know something happened but don’t remember it… think about it like that

Samuel Strode

A coconut bra and grass skirt of course

Samuel Strode

Yellow poka dot bikini

Mike Zebill

great chapter! I loved all the conversations! now to have some brain melting fun in the water with Zara. hehe! I loved how he trailed off into silence as his brain short circuited at the sight of Zara...but dude, you need to tell us what kind of swimsuit she's wearing! one piece, bikini? white, red, blue, floral print? lol!

ABTelford

Hahaha ok. I'll look for your name when we find out about Tera

Teddy Torres

Probably should end this thread here, people are gonna be going holy shit 20 replies, what's going on here

JayseKnyte

Ok. Cool. I read Primal Hunter

Teddy Torres

Zogarth author of The Primal Hunter

JayseKnyte

You lost me. I gotta go Google Zog

Teddy Torres

At least he's not the evil mad genius of the cliff that is Zog.

JayseKnyte

Brooo yes! We sound crazy being excited for a Monday

Teddy Torres

Authors like Shirt have really put me in an awkward position of wanting Monday to come sooner.

JayseKnyte

The ABC islands, as Aruba, Bonaire, and Curaçao are known. And it said Aruba right in this chapter; you may want to read it again.

Laura Hemly

I think in earlier books he said it was Aruba

Jon Carl

Maybe it was his day off....

Thomas Froehling

It was like when the builder tortured Jason, he wasn't awake for it but remembered echoes of the pain. His was more severe because he was actually awake

Teddy Torres

Yea, she was unconscious for the entire process. Her grievance was never the torture, it was always about removing the mark and making her "free"

Teddy Torres

It's being said: Aruba.

Thomas Froehling

Did she not remember it later on? Maybe I should reread. Yeah I guess that changes the argument.

JayseKnyte

Lovely chapter. Cheers!

Naotsugu97

Which island is equivalent to Rimaros? One of the Bahamas? Cuba? Jamaica? Saint Martin? Guadeloupe?

ThoMiCroN

But, it will most likely go a variation of "Thank for giving me a life I couldn't have had otherwise, however, I still hate your gut and want to beat you within an inch of your life."

JayseKnyte

I understand that logic, 16 years is a blip to an immortal but considering she wasn't even awake when the mark was removed I don't think the actual torture comes into account. It was more emotional that her beliefs were questioned. She woke up and didnt even remember being tortured until Jason clarified what happened. This is all speculation and I'm so excited

Teddy Torres

For a human, maybe. Depends on the person. But, an entity that can live for millions of years with a mind meant to think in that time frame though

JayseKnyte

Yeah, that all tracks. Thanks for the chapter!

Brad Gammey

Maybe he wanted some family time or he hasnt a grasp on all the non magic stuff yet. (Which is stupid if he worked in a bar in Old City before)

Flojoe

I'm not sure where you see dry sarcasm, but maybe I'm just not seeing it

LolGamez

Naw it would lose the dry sarcasm I think she was going for

Valhazstromoz

What about, “I think you and your friends are a force that could take any country on Earth, and wipe it off the face of the planet. Edited multiple times lol

LolGamez

Cause sometimes you just have to do it yourself you know? Plus we know Jason likes doing all the drinks and cooking so it's his way of relaxing finally with his team. More then likely the barkeep is back in asono territory keeping the other palis entertained

Charles A. Pehl

I took them as two different types of activity. Taking as in a standard military type conflict vs wiping out like dropping a nuke on them. Agree the wording comes off kinda redundant but intended to describe two different types of power.

triscuit73

See this is how you know that despite Jason trying to put on diplomatic airs and trying to change, he doesn’t actually care about any of it if he’s fine with a potential international incident.

Dylan Alexander

Probably because he enjoys it.

Marty P.

I mean, people who mess up badly in relationships can both know more about relationships and still not have the self awareness to do better themselves

Emerson Propst

I was wondering the same. Maybe Monday we will see him.

Razeel Nightfall

She'll probably be holding herself back from hitting him if anything.

JayseKnyte

I'm so happy. I can't wait to see Ter Jun Castas growth arch. Even if it's small and glossed over, I'm just excited to see the changes in her. I'm hoping for a teary eyed thank you to Jason

Teddy Torres

Thanks for the biscuits

Brian Glazier

“I think you and your friends are a force that could take any country on Earth and wipe it off the Earth. Might be better as “I think you and your friends are a force that could wipe any country off the face of the Earth

LolGamez

Why was Jason tending bar he has his own bartender he brought from another universe this is the perfect situation for that character and nothing?

GentlemanG33k

Wait, the person MOST afraid of relationships due to the way most have turned out, is now GIVING relationship advice??? Irony meet Jason.

Timothy

OMG Finally he got some tiny umbrellas, I wondered if that plotline would ever be resolved.... I wonder if Autumn is in the party

Andre Morales

What a beautiful line to tell in a divine voice to his grandmother 😂😂😂😂 love it!

Idan tal

Im really looking forward to that meeting

Der Ritter

That was great

Branden Mccullar

With lemonade.

Kenneth

Slight error. Yumi is Jason's paternal grandmother, not maternal.

Stuart Thwaites

Loved this chapter. The characters are truly where a story is set and seeing Velius, Yumi, Emi, Zara and the messengers really remind me of why I love this series so much. I hope to see Cheryl again before it all goes down

mhaj58

omg, swats Itsuki!

Dirteejack

I want to say I'm surprised about the akari/itsuki situation..... but I'm not lol tyftc

JonO

Thanks for the chapter!

Quintin Landhan

you know, when jason shows up with a host of angels in his pocket universe, people may start to get the wrong idea.

mockery jones

Thanks for the chapter

NinjaSF

Seriously? She waited on him without pushing the issue for TWENTY YEARS? Even if they’re both scared to take the step for the stated reasons, why would the people around them not step in? Akari has sisters.

Aaron Schwartz

Biscuits

Darkdragon


Related Creators