Chapter 293: A Big Dose of Normal
Added 2020-09-02 23:08:08 +0000 UTCJason returned to Erikas house in the crisp air of the winter Saturday morning. After giving his sister a night to process his sudden return, he was expecting a thorough grilling. He wanted to bring her into the fold as quickly as he could but knew that dumping everything at once was a recipe for disaster. He didnt want her making any mistakes because of something Jason communicated poorly.
Erika had arranged for their parents to come over to let them know about Jasons return, with Kaito and Amy scheduled to arrive after. Jason, Ian and Erika were waiting in the lounge room, in Erikas plush chairs. They werent cloud furniture, but they were the next best thing. Erikas phone bleeped and she checked the text.
Oh, bloody hell.
Mum? Jason asked.
Shes too busy, apparently, Erika said. She told me that shed be here. I told her it was important.
Are you really surprised? Jason asked.
It would be nice if she actually did surprise me for once and didnt blow me off, Erika said.
You should have had Kaito set it up, Jason said. Shed turn up for that.
Youre right, Erika said. I didnt think of that.
Well stick with the plan, Jason said. Dad should be here soon, with Uncle Hiro. Then we can bring Kaito and Amy over.
Are you sure youre alright to see them? Erika asked. Its been a lot longer than just since you died. Went away. Oh, carp. I still havent got my head around this.
When I was so far away that I didnt have the choice, Jason said, it put a lot of things into perspective. Mum wasnt wrong that the best thing to do was just accept it, but she really needed to wait a year before giving it. Maybe two. You know shes the one who actually told me about it?
Youre kidding, Erika said.
Nope, Jason said. She always liked Amy but she was with the wrong brother. It kind of felt like she was calling to say that I was never good enough and now she had proof.
Im starting to see why you rushed back and hit town like a thunderstorm, Erika said.
It took me years to move past what happened, Jason said. I dont have to tell you that. You were propping me up the whole time.
Are you sure that you have moved past it? Erika asked.
Nope, Jason admitted. But at this point, staying away hurts more than coming back.
So, what do we do about Mum?
Shes a busy woman, obviously, Jason said. Shell figure it out eventually.
Youre just going to not tell her?
Why dont we tell Kaito that she already knows and let nature take its course? Jason suggested.
Isnt that a little cruel? Erika asked. Wait a second. Kaito said he kept seeing you the other day.
That was fun, Jason chuckled. I shaved for that.
He thought he was going crazy.
That was the basic plan, Jason said.
Did you turn his helicopter into the Thanos copter?
Jason laughed.
Did you have to explain it to him? he asked.
His wife did.
Jason smirked.
Jason, if you just came home for some petty revenge, you may as well have not come, Erika said.
Of course I didnt, he said. Petty revenge is just a perk.
You did do a pretty good job with the helicopter, she acknowledged.
Its the off season, Jason said. Its not like hes using it right now and its not even proper paint. Its water soluble and will practically just hose off.
***
So whats the big mystery? Ken asked as he came inside and hugged his daughter. Hiro was so adamant about me coming along that I thought he was roping me into smoothing things over with your grandmother for him. I told him he was better off asking your Uncle Shiro.
No, this is more than that, Erika said, leading him into the lounge.
So whats is going on? he asked.
Hello Dad.
Ken went dead still on hearing Jasons voice behind him. Slowly he turned around, if fearful of what he would see. His breathing became ragged as he saw Jason standing the doorway. After a moment of shocked stillness, Ken exploded forward to catch his son in a huge hug. Jason caught the familiar smell of old spice and soil as he returned the hug.
Is it really you, boy? Ken asked, not releasing Jason.
Its me, Jason said.
Ken continued to hold onto Jason like he would never let go.
***
Things with Jasons father went very differently than with Erika. She had launched into an interrogation almost immediately, where Ken only wanted to know two things: was Jason alright and was he back to stay. He couldnt stop grinning as his teary eyes drank in the son that had been returned to him.
Im not looking to disappear any time soon, Jason assured him. Not like last time. Things are kind of up in the air right now, professionally, but Im looking to base myself out of Casselton Beach for at least the near future.
Professionally? Erika asked. You know, Ive been going over what you told me yesterday and the more I think about it, the more it comes off as a pile of hot nonsense.
How much did you tell her? Hiro asked.
About what I told you, at first.
None of the really implausible stuff, then, Hiro said.
Thats not the implausible stuff? Erika asked, her voice rising an octave.
She turned to Jason and saw that he was looking suddenly nervous.
Theyre here, he said.
Shortly thereafter, there was a knock on the door, followed by the sound of it opening.
Gday, Kaitos voice called out. Were arrived for the mysterious family meeting.
Lounge room, Erika called back, glancing at Jason only to realise that hed vanished like a ghost.
Do you know who that car outside belongs to? Amy asked as they came in. It looks like the Batmobile.
Hey, Dad, Kaito greeted. Are you alright?
Better than alright, Ken said. Who has the girls?
Mrs Glenn.
Mrs Glenn, Ken chuckled. She used to look after you when you were little.
Shes great with the girls, Amy said. The only concern is that shell get too attached and flee the country with them.
You should be safe there, Erika said. I doubt Mrs Glenn knows a good passport guy.
I wouldnt be so sure, Amy said. She seems like a woman with a history.
So, whats the big mystery? Kaito asked.
That would be the owner of the car outside, Erika said. He seems to have disappeared on us. Again.
Can you blame me? Jason asked from the doorway. Im nervous and love dramatic entrances.
Amy and Kaito turned around, wide-eyed.
Gday, Kaito, Ames. Howve you been?
Kaito pointed at Jason.
You but did how ?
I guess we know who painted the helicopter, Amy said. Not dead, then?
I tried it, Jason said. Wasnt for me.
Despite her light voice and flippant words, Amys face was stricken, her eyes panning over Jason, cataloguing the changes from the boy she remembered.
Why dont we all sit down? Ken suggested.
***
After Jason talked the rest of his family through essentially the same thing he told Hiro and Erika, he left them alone in the lounge to digest while he went out into the back yard. It was the same backyard he had growing up, although there was a strange sense of alienation. Part of that was his heightened senses; he was literally looking at his childhood haunt with new eyes.
There were also the details that showed the passage of time. The old, dilapidated fence had been stripped out and replaced, although he guessed his father had done that. The Gazebo had been rebuilt from scratch, clearly to better suit Erikas style of culinary entertaining.
The lemon tree was bigger and showed signs of care. Erika clearly wanted those lemons and had taken the time to foster fruit growth. The flower garden their mother had always insisted shed find time for was now a herb garden. The patio furniture had been replaced; their mother had purchased for appearance, where Erika and Ian purchased for comfort. The wood and cloth folding chairs were a little daggy, but nice to sit in.
He could sense his family inside the house. Their emotions were practically being shouted through their auras. There was a lot of confusion and no small amount of suspicion, mainly from Erika and Amy. They were the smartest and knew him the best; they had immediately realised how much he was withholding, not that he made any great attempt to sell his story to them.
The first one to make his way outside to join Jason was Kaito. They each claimed a folding lounger and neither spoke for a long time.
That was a prick move with my helicopter, Kaito said, finally breaking the silence.
You dont like yellow? Jason asked.
Not that. Pulling a prank that my wife had to explain to me. Reminding me of all the things you and her have in common.
Youre reading too much into it, Jason said.
No Im not, Kaito said. You might have forgotten how much you and I look at the world the same way. We just act differently on what we see.
I guess its a matter of values, Jason said.
Jason, is this one thing going to hang over us for our entire lives?
Yeah, brother, it is, Jason said. You dont get to talk to me about prick moves. Remember that one of the things you and Amy have in common is that you worked together to gouge the heart out of my chest and back over it with a school bus.
We could have done things better, Kaito said. It was always going to be bad, though. I am sorry, Jason.
Nobody cares if the guy who stabbed them in the back is sorry, Kaito. They care that they got stabbed in the back.
Do you even know how stifled she felt by you? Kaito asked.
I realised, Jason uncomfortably conceded. Eventually.
There was no good way it was going to go.
So you decided to go with the worst way, yeah? Thanks for that.
Kaito sighed and got to his feet.
I was hoping that you coming back from the dead meant we could, I dont know. Move past it.
We can, Jason said, also standing. But I had to say those things, brother. Ive been waiting six years. Im probably going to say them again. In fact, I suspect Ill be kind of a arse about it.
As long as you stick around to say them, Ill listen, Kaito said, offering his hand. Jason shook it.
Then Ill go complain to my wife, Kaito added.
Oh, you prick.
Im probably going to be a bit of an arse as well, Kaito said.
Kaito went back inside, sharing a look with Ken, coming out. Jason hadnt paid a lot of attention to reading emotions through auras and was unable to read the complex interplay between the two men conveyed through that brief glance.
Ken pulled his son into another long hug.
Im sorry I didnt stand up to your mother more, he said.
Its alright, Dad.
No, Ken said, pulling back to put his hands on Jasons shoulder and look his son in the eyes. It was my job to hold the family together and I let you be pushed out.
Dad, none of it was easy and we all made mistakes.
And it was my job to rise above them, which I didnt.
Ken brushed hid fingers over his sons scars, bisecting one eyebrow and leaving a hairless line in his beard.
Are you alright? Ken asked softly.
Honestly? Jason said. No.
Jason sat back down, Ken claiming the chair vacated by Kaito.
Im not the person I want to be right now, Jason said. Ive done things. Had things done to me. Im not making great choices right now and Im hoping that being home will help me to get back some of what I lost along the way.
This mercenary work, Ken said, broaching the topic like an animal handler trying to catch a wild creature. You saw fighting?
Yeah.
Did you ?
Yeah, Jason said.
Were here, son. Im here. Whatever you need.
Jason looked over at his dad.
You know what I really need? he asked. I need a big dose of normal. I need the things Im cranky about to be that my brother married my ex. I need my problems to be finding out of season chutneys and my mum being disapproving and stand-offish. Hell, I need Koji to come by and hypocritically accuse me of being a banana. Is he still in town?
Your cousin? Sure. Shiro bought the caravan park a couple of years ago and left Koji to run the place. Into the ground, mostly.
Uncle Shiro bought the caravan park? I thought he was all about those high-end developments.
He is, Ken said.
Oh, Jason said. Hes going to replace the caravan park with a bunch of fancy holiday homes? Try and turn Casselton Beach into the next Castle Heads?
Pretty much. Your mothers snobbish hands are all over the project.
Jason sighed. Im going to have to tell Mum that Im back.
Erika said she was meant to be here, Ken said. Of course shes too busy for her son who came back from the dead.
In fairness, she doesnt know thats what this was about.
Erika said she told her how important it was, Ken said. But nothings more important than whatever your mother has going on.
Im sorry you and Mum got divorced, Dad. I know that I was the catalyst.
It wasnt your fault, Jason. Your death just brought things that had been building up for a long time into the open.
Ken got up from the chair.
I dont want to just be complaining about your mother the whole time, so Ill let someone else have their turn.
Therell be time enough, Jason said. Im looking to stick around for a while.
Plenty of time to pile on that normal youre looking for, Ken said. And I will, believe me. I love you, son.
Love you, Dad.
Erika came out and claimed the seat next to Jason.
How was it with Dad?
It was good, Jason said.
Did he complain about Mum?
Jason just chuckled.
You can expect a lot of that, Erika said.
Is he okay?
None of us were great after you died. He blamed himself for you not coming home after Amy and Kaito. Not as much as he blamed Mum, but still.
I wish things hadnt gone the way it did.
And you found a wish-granting genie out in the desert, did you? Or are you just whining about things you cant change?
It wasnt a genie, Jason said. Too far south. Also, real genies dont grant wishes. Theyre pretty much just elementals spirits with an overdeveloped sense of self-importance, from what I hear.
Oh look; its a stream of utter nonsense spoken with total conviction. You really are back. I still dont understand why you werent able to at least get us word that you were alive.
You will, Jason said. Ill tell you everything, and soon.
Why not now?
Because what I have to tell you isnt something you can just accept. Especially from the guy spouting utter nonsense with total conviction. Extraordinary claims and extraordinary evidence, you know?
You have some extraordinary claims to make?
You have no idea. The other thing is that I just want things to be normal. Or as close as I can get. At least for a little while. Before things start becoming strange.
You know, Jason, Erika said, Im not sure youre being vague and ominous enough. Any chance you could crank that up?
Ask and ye shall receive, little sister.
I didnt actually mean
Change is coming, be we prepared or not Jason intoned, leaking a little of his aura to add gravitas. Youve heard the stories of the starlight man.
You mean that Starlight Rider guy? Thats all that been on the news for days.
People are going to look back and realise this was the beginning.
The beginning of what? And stop using that voice. Youre just daggy, not creepy.
Youll have to wait until I show you whats coming, Jason said in his normal voice. You wont believe me if I just tell you. But change is coming, Eri.
What change? What are you talking about?
Everything. Everything is going to change. I need to get the family ready for that.
Jason, you sound like a crazy person.
Ill sound worse before Im done. For today, just let it go. Were just going to go around in circles if you keep hammering away.
Erika groaned.
Youre a pain in my arse, you know that? Not even twenty-four hours since you sprang back to life and Im ready to kill you all over again.
Its been done before.
Ive known you your whole life, Jason. Dont try to distract me with your nonsense.
Just give me some time, Eri, Please.
Fine, she said unhappily. We need to talk about Emi right now, though. She took her Uncle Jasons death very hard and me running around playing conspiracy theorist didnt help. Shes finally back in a good place and I dont want her to get off track. You know the academy has her in their advanced program.
Of course they do, Jason said, smiling. During his most self-pitying moments, his razor-sharp little niece had been a big part of keeping his head, if not above water, then at least not too far below the surface.
How do you want to tell her? he asked.
Come back tonight, for dinner, Erika said. Well herd the mob out and it can be you, me and Ian when she gets home from her friends house.
Jason got up from his chair.
Ill go then, he said. Text me a time and Ill be here.
You arent done yet, Erika said. Theres one more person who hasnt gotten you alone.
Jason turned his gaze toward the house.
I wasnt sure shed want to speak with me, he said. Im not sure I want to speak with her.
No one is going to pretend this situation is easy, Jason. Or normal. But shes not going anywhere, so unless youre looking to disappear again, you have to face her sooner or later.
Im not going anywhere. I have things to do here.
Then you and Amy will have to figure out how to be in a room together.
Alright, Jason said. Send her out.
Comments
Corrections+continued: "Ken brushed [hid > his] fingers…"
Tyler S.
2021-10-09 08:17:47 +0000 UTCAs l said in the last chapter, there are many reasons why Jason couldn't drop the "magic is real" bomb on them from the beginning. Just look at how Erika handled his return vs how his dad Ken handled it. Once again, I think he did the best he could considering all the family dynamics.
Bert Babb
2021-07-28 23:26:58 +0000 UTCI really like this chapter!! Thanks a lot!!!
Juli Freixi
2020-09-24 01:12:10 +0000 UTCF**k Kaito. You don't do that to your little bro
Patrick Nworgu
2020-09-24 00:59:23 +0000 UTCfuck amy
2020-09-17 07:36:51 +0000 UTCWhat in the hell is daggy
2020-09-17 06:39:43 +0000 UTCCorrections: Slowly he turned around, [as] if fearful of what he would see. His breathing became ragged as he saw Jason standing [in] the doorway. ...I suspect I'll be kind of ['a' > an] arse about it. Ken brushed ['hid' > his] fingers over his son's scars... They're pretty much just ['elementals' > elemental] spirits with an overdeveloped... That's all ['that' > that's] been on the news for days.
Elmhedera
2020-09-09 06:03:23 +0000 UTCJason should just call mom to tell her. Keep it short too. "Hey, mom. I'm back. See ya." Hangs up.
Edward Castle
2020-09-03 20:39:31 +0000 UTCHow long is the story going to continue on Earth? Is Jason not going back?
Deepak Kamlesh
2020-09-03 20:34:42 +0000 UTCI just want Kaito to not exist in general tbh. I read this for enjoyment and his character thoroughly ruins my day. Like, more so because he's not really an enemy either.
Leonard Marchant
2020-09-03 16:51:37 +0000 UTCThat's what worries me, I'm not entirely certain it's intentational in full.
Leonard Marchant
2020-09-03 16:48:58 +0000 UTCHis mom seems to be avoiding them what if she is in the builder cult?
2020-09-03 15:59:02 +0000 UTCDude I hope your intention is to make Kaito suck this much. I sincerely hope we don't get to the point where Jason makes him stronger while he's such a dickward.
Kaze
2020-09-03 13:29:20 +0000 UTCShe is far to low to that.
Guilherme Silva
2020-09-03 11:24:11 +0000 UTCEntitled whole life, the golden boy.. what do you expect
j0ntsa
2020-09-03 10:47:18 +0000 UTCFun twist: as mayor, Amy has probably already been read in by the Network.
Stephen Pearson
2020-09-03 08:59:48 +0000 UTCI continue to enjoy the story, but the pacing is kinda starting to drag. It may be time to go back to building a backlog before catching up.
JTP
2020-09-03 06:13:18 +0000 UTCOh fuck off Kaito, you don't get to be an ass about anything. What the actual fuck, guy.
Leonard Marchant
2020-09-03 06:01:41 +0000 UTCI see Kaito and Amy pulling away when magic comes out and opting out of essences
2020-09-03 04:56:57 +0000 UTCI realize that individual one on one’s give more character depth to these side characters and make sense in a psychological way but it’s a little drawn out and Jason just going to have to do it again to his mom and grandma. Also I really really wanted Jason to punch Kaito in the face. Not full bronze tanker strength, obviously, because that’d kill Kaito but hard enough to hurt. A warning about mean words in the future isn’t exactly the reckoning I was looking forward to. Here’s hoping for that future conversation I guess.
2020-09-03 04:51:13 +0000 UTCSo Jason shook Kaito's hand...and his power didn't indicate Kaito was a Gold-ranked evil monster!? Clearly a plot hole. Or...is Kaito so high level that Jason's power can't read him!? Is he actually evil god Kaito? Or maybe, in a double twist, he really is Thanos?
11037
2020-09-03 04:44:33 +0000 UTCOne explanation is okay. Especially considering how drawn out it was with Uncle Hiro. Constantly going over it again and again with each person by piecemeal as Jason starts bumping into his family again is...tedious and very fillery. There's already so many plot threads to be woven- the start has been on the upswing which convinced me to check in again but the last few chapters start veering into the pontificationg/soapboxy/wheelspinny-nothingness that, frankly, was the most offputting parts of the story.
Keifru
2020-09-03 04:08:36 +0000 UTCThe sick side of me wants his family to see him cut loose, no holds barred, full "oh look, a monster horde!" Next best thing would be him telling them the nature of his essences and awakening stones.
Philip Pleiss
2020-09-03 03:15:04 +0000 UTCI really don't want Kaito, Amy or Jason's Mom to get buddy buddy any time soon.
Maradrax
2020-09-03 02:34:38 +0000 UTCYou are pretty wrong, in various things. Amy knows she liked Kaito . When Kaito don't show interest she accepts Jason because she liked her friendship with him. When Kaito show interest in his brother girlfriend, who he knows that he loves for years, she dumped Jason for him.
Guilherme Silva
2020-09-03 02:31:25 +0000 UTCAlso thank you for the chapter!
Ya Boi
2020-09-03 02:22:19 +0000 UTCIt really IS a giant fustercluck with the family. I love eri and hope she turns into a badass. Kaito was about as i expected, and really wished hed be less of an ass about it but honestly i doubt id like him even if he knelt on the ground and kissed jasons feet as an apology. As a final note pls make the dad stupid over powered with essences.
Ya Boi
2020-09-03 02:21:46 +0000 UTCIf I understood correctly from previous chapters, Jason knew Amy liked Kaito first but she herself didn't, so he manipulated her into a long con into liking himself instead. I agree that Kaito and Amy approached it in one of the worst ways possible, but if what I said was true than Jason had it coming. Even if it wasn’t, what Jason was doing to her wasn’t okay. I suppose they’re right though, everyone made mistakes but ideally it would be best to move on and try to do/be better from now on.
Allastin
2020-09-03 02:07:36 +0000 UTCAdd in he obliquely reference hes the one having sex with her.
2020-09-03 01:52:25 +0000 UTCKinda thought I'd feel more sympathy for Kaito's position when we met him. A half assed apology and a condescending "sigh, I hoped we'd move past this" is what we got. What a fucking jackass. I could understand it if they had told Jason directly and he responded poorly, but nope not even that. Maybe it's because I've never been on that side of things, but beyond the bare minimum someone you care about deserves, Kaito can go fuck himself. Wonder if I'll feel the same way when we see Amy's part in this, seeing as she was a key part in this cluster fuck of a relationship ending. Side note: As long as he doesn't take it overboard, I really don't mind having Kaito be the one to tell their mother. It's petty, definitely, but it's the kind of minor pettiness that fits the way she decided to tell him when this all happened initially.
thaughton2
2020-09-03 01:24:04 +0000 UTCHe is being ironic.
Guilherme Silva
2020-09-03 01:03:55 +0000 UTCI thought jason was the youngest of them. Why does he call erika "little sister"? If she is younger, how does she have a 12 year old daughter?
cacophonix
2020-09-03 01:00:00 +0000 UTCReally. I'm expecting a litany of excuses and accusations padded in a thin buttery "I'm sorry" coating
Adrian Gorgey
2020-09-03 00:54:00 +0000 UTCHope this doesn't turn in to jason apologising for anything. One of the worst things he could have had done to him
Creative Username
2020-09-03 00:48:07 +0000 UTCI wouldn't give him jack shit. Nor Amy, for that matter. His mega-bitch of a mother can piss off too. Amy deciding that Jason wasn't right for her and breaking up with him is fine. Cheating on him with his own brother and not bothering to tell him for weeks, and leaving it up to his mother to inform him is absolutely not. All of them can go jump off a bridge. Hopefully his dad gets Growth/Plant/Something Essences to turn him into super druid.
Anon
2020-09-03 00:10:07 +0000 UTCIt's not a perfect family, but it's his family. Personally, I kind of hope he follows through with telling Kaito that his mom already knows and "letting nature take his course."
Termac
2020-09-02 23:49:17 +0000 UTCwho thinks jason will give kaito the combo that summons a shit golem.
2020-09-02 23:48:10 +0000 UTCThey are in a relationship, Amy comes back to the city without Jason, Kaito and her fuck, decides to make it a permanent thing and the mother call to told Jason how the best brother will stay with the girl.
Guilherme Silva
2020-09-02 23:43:33 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapter! Now it's time to wait for another one Feelsbad
2020-09-02 23:43:20 +0000 UTCWow, I hate Kaito.
BaguaBrady
2020-09-02 23:41:09 +0000 UTCI don't recall did Amy leave Jason and go to Kaito or were they seeing each other behind Jason's back? Because on the one hand yeah, a better person than me would be able to forgive and maintain a relationship with them. But the other scenario, well lets just say at best you'd cut all ties and at worst figure out a good place to dispose of the bodies.
Chopper
2020-09-02 23:40:35 +0000 UTCHope he doesn't forgive his brother and wife
Kazuki Pickersgill
2020-09-02 23:39:46 +0000 UTCI am with his sister wanting to rip his head off.
Chris
2020-09-02 23:38:15 +0000 UTCI needed to read so I paid for 4 weeks but I should of known it wouldn't be enough
Joshua
2020-09-02 23:36:58 +0000 UTCThat starting part was great, with his father. The last half part felt a bit off, not sure how to explain it.
Worldknower
2020-09-02 23:34:03 +0000 UTCI like this. It shows why Jason has his glaring flaws very well
Sebastian Prue
2020-09-02 23:33:54 +0000 UTCA necessary chapter, but not the one I wanted. Call it a product of the piecemeal story format and my stunted attention span, but I just want Jason to finally bring his family to the magical side of the world.
Heraclitus
2020-09-02 23:29:25 +0000 UTCHoly cow, you did not say first!
TaylorTot
2020-09-02 23:29:10 +0000 UTCThanks shirt for the wonderful mature family reunion. And I really do me mature for all the jokes Jason cracked he handled emotions and tension well.
Alexander Dupree
2020-09-02 23:29:07 +0000 UTCThx for everything Shirt this is probably my favourite arc in the story so far
agentjongon
2020-09-02 23:29:05 +0000 UTCMan. I don't know what it is about these past few chapters. Something about the message being conveyed just seems off. There is also the fact that his family doesn't seem very likeable other then his dad, uncle and maybe his brother-in-law.
Rageflare
2020-09-02 23:26:57 +0000 UTCWell, that's my shot of crack for the evening. Any chance of a double chapter in the future? My recent binge has spoiled me.
Talespinner Lore
2020-09-02 23:24:42 +0000 UTCI agree, but it is also exactly what the title says A Big Dose of Normal. I completely understand the need for plot build up and the fact we can't really skip over all the awkward meeting the family stuff, it's part of Jason's character. I just wish Shirt accended to diamond tier and was able to write like 5 chapters a day. That would be just enough content for me.
Seadrake
2020-09-02 23:22:34 +0000 UTCDialog is definitely one of the best parts about your writing. One thing that your conversations almost never do, is leave the audience bored. I feel like there should be a line after Jason says he shaved with his sister going, "..but you have a beard now and that was yesterday." Or her making a small note of, "wait a second" with no concrete proof just that feeling of something being off.
Ziggy
2020-09-02 23:21:33 +0000 UTC'Twas a good chapter, i approve.
Tycho Green
2020-09-02 23:18:40 +0000 UTCWe've spent so long building up to this that despite the lack of "actiony" action, this chapter still felt very heavy and dramatic.
SirReality
2020-09-02 23:17:57 +0000 UTC'So what’s is going on' -> 'So what’s going on' OR 'So what is going on' 'We’re arrived' We're -> We've
Corwin Amber
2020-09-02 23:13:10 +0000 UTCThanks Shirt 🥳
Sean Wilner
2020-09-02 23:08:29 +0000 UTCThank you!
CptJimmy
2020-09-02 23:08:23 +0000 UTC