Samus Aran (April 26th 2024 issue)

🚀 Zero suit, but she's a ten: Samus is pure power

We travelled very far to meet the woman behind the suit: and no, we are not talking about any bunny girls (yet) — props to those who got this little sneak peek! Today our muse is none less than Samus Aran, one of the most impressive women we had the pleasure to meet and interview in quite a long time! We don't mean to diminish the efforts and accomplishments of the other girls we met for the magazine, but on this topic, Samus really stands out among most of us.

First thing to know about her is that she's a very serious woman. Her personality remains, to this day, a mystery to most people, since she always keeps herself aligned with her goals. This kind of perseverance has been build throughout a lifetime, thus explaining why her demeanor is so straight to the point. Although very serious, she's also very polite and considerate. The mere fact she agreed to the photoshoot and interview, despite being a non-talkative person, really says a lot!

Some of the things that stood out in our conversation were some rumors that circulated around, mainly in some communities (wink wink) about her relationship with some of the Smash Bros cast. Let's just say some people were spreading rumors saying she wasn't just smashing alongside them, but getting smashed by them. But call her Zero F*cks Samus, because she doesn't care about this kind of thing, she has more serious topics to take care of.

Also, from the cover alone you might have noticed Samus is tall! Way taller than most suppose, standing tall at a whopping 1.90m (6'3"), which is way taller than most women you'll ever meet! And her toned, long legs will definitely sharpen your eyes on this issue. The photos are beautiful, and her slim long figure outshines the bland, desolate backgrounds we were in.

As a little special reward, the electronic version of this issue has a special feature! The faster you read through it, fewer clothing Samus will be using in her pictures. This is just to show some homage to some old challenges from her debut in the media world, and we think you'll have quite some fun trying to see how fast you'll speedrun it!

~Kinky, April 26th, 2024