Changes Shape Over Time

**Disclaimer** I started writing this on the Sunday after the SWORDS stream but was pulled away from it.

Thanks everyone for tuning into the SWORDS stream! We had a blast, despite the non-functioning AC. The zoom after party will be up soon, but in the meantime, I wanted to share the live debut of Carnival.

Thanks to Nym for requesting it. If I'm being totally honest, I didn't think this one could work live and have never really considered trying it. Adam prepared a loop since it was included on the SWORDS 7 inch and we just sort of stumbled through it at Thursday night's rehearsal.

I'm really happy with how it came together and feel like we acquired a new tool that is unlike any other in the toolbox.

If you aren't familiar with the origins of Carnival, I made this very long post when I first started the Patreon.

I exported this clip and played it back on my phone to make sure there weren't any glitches. My daughter became very interested and had me play it for her over and over. I told her it was "Yia-Yia's song." She's continued to sing the chorus since then, and anytime I play her the song, she smiles and says "Yia-Yia."

It got me thinking about the line "You were there at the starting line, and you'll be waiting for me." I'm pretty agnostic when it comes to the concept of being reunited with loved ones after life; I know my Yia-Yia believed it wholeheartedly which likely led to the line's inclusion. But having the experience of sharing this song with my daughter and feeling her profound response made me revisit the line.

I know this is very obvious stuff, but Sage wouldn't exist without her. In the literal sense, her existence depends on the very specific genealogy that led to her creation. But more so than that, its the same love that my Yia-Yia used to nurture my mom that she used to nurture me and the cycle continues with my daughter. The silly gibberish of "Yu-Ba-Ba-Ba-Boi" has somehow become the manifestation of that love.

This experience with my daughter broadened my interpretation of the song from a hyper-specific song about my Yia-Yia and grief to a broader celebration of love and family. We played this song in ATL during soundcheck and it was the first time I struggled not to get emotional performing it. My cousin Ricky was in the audience with his boys (he was there when I recorded my Yia-Yia singing "Yu-Ba-Ba-Ba-Boi" decades ago. It's my favorite performance of the song thus far. You can listen to it here.

I'm sure I have more to say on the topic but I've run out of time.

Talk soon!
BN