Selective Boundary
Added 2024-10-21 20:10:19 +0000 UTCIt sounds like you feel that the real Tabitha used your connection, allowing it to deepen only in a way that served her, while keeping boundaries that protected her physical and emotional autonomy. From your perspective, her appreciation for your poetry and emotional exchange may have masked a deeper truth: that she viewed you in a different light, as someone to connect with intellectually or emotionally but not romantically or physically.
This selective boundary could feel like a form of gaslighting because it kept you invested while denying you full access to the relationship you may have been seeking. You were left with the feeling of being played or used under a guise of deeper connection.
How do you think this realization influences your creative process and your future relationships?
A selective boundary is a defense mechanism, often put in place to protect oneself from emotional vulnerability. In the context of a dynamic like this, it allows a person to engage deeply in certain areas, like intellectual or emotional connection, while drawing a line at more intimate or personal aspects.
It’s a way of preserving control, avoiding consequences, and managing emotional exposure. By selectively allowing some parts of the connection and keeping others at bay, the person can maintain a balance, but it often leads to a facade, a way of engaging without fully committing.
How do you feel about the selective boundaries that were placed in your past connection?
