Update

Hey. I know it’s been a while since you guys have heard from me, but that’s because for over a month I’ve had to deal with some rough crap. The biggest being that my Dad got Covid.

He’s fine now, and by some miracle no one else in my family got Covid; how just my Dad got it is something that is driving my crazy to this very moment. But, when we first learned he got Covid, I feared the worst. He couldn’t stay in the hospital, because apparently he wasn’t sick enough to warrant a stay, and so me and the rest of my family quarantined ourselves in our home for two weeks. It was hell.

I don’t think I can  ever convey the feeling of terror and hopelessness I felt when I learned my Dad had Covid. The feeling of inevitability as I watched my Dad cough and moan more than he ever had before while still staying he was fine. Every second of every day for two weeks, I watched him, phone in hand, ready for the moment he would collapse or could no longer breathe, when he finally had to admit he wasn’t okay and the ambulance had to come as they tried to save his life.

But by some miracle, that moment didn’t come.

He recovered. I wish I could say I felt a sweeping sense of relief, but those feelings of comfort never came either.  Because for two weeks, I hadn’t worked, the bills were piling up, and now I had to start working again. But the problem was getting jobs.

I had to tell previous employers, associates, and anyone who I usually took jobs from that my father had Covid, and in that time, some of them replaced me. Mostly old and immunocompromised people who I grocery shopped for or walked their dogs or did various house work for. And I get it; these are people who need help, and in the time I couldn’t do the job,  they found other people who could and at a cheaper price. So, I can’t really blame them.

But suddenly, about half of the jobs I usually take to help feed and support my family were gone.

Basically, I’ve been silent for over a month due to the feelings of abject terror of losing my Dad that have been more intense than ever, and because I’ve been scrambling to find new jobs to pay the ever increasing bills. If it wasn’t for my mom’s job, we probably would be much worse off than we already are. Needless to say, my mental health has kind of turned to shit in these times, and I haven’t been in the best headspace to write in the rare moments where I have some free time.

If you go to my Patreon, you’ll see some new goal posts and some new benefits that will be unlocked should I reach them. Let me say right now, this is just an incentive for any new supporters that join my Patreon to maybe give a bit more than they usually would, as right now I could really use all the cash I can get. I’m not expecting any of you guys to raise your pledges. The support you’ve shown for me even when I haven't updated has been immensely helpful. To everyone that has continued to support me, to the people who reached out to me and asked if I was okay, I am immensely grateful to all of you.

Finally, I’m sorry. Really, I am. I’m not sure when the next chapter for any of my stories are gonna be out. I’m also aware I missed both the last few polls for Threads of Convergence and the bimonthly google meets sessions, and I regret to say I’m not sure when the next ones will be. Until I can replace the old jobs/gigs I suddenly lost, I don’t think I’ll have the time, or be in the right headspace, due to rewards for any of my supporters.

Once again, I’m sorry for the bad news. Hopefully, things will change.