tegerio

"Ooohhhh,"

Added 2022-05-05 01:48:55 +0000 UTC

Burnside sighed as she slumped onto the grass and passed out into a blissful coma.

I glowered for a moment at this shameful spectacle, and briefly considered stuffing her into a sack or a cauldron or something - or else she would surely resume being a nuisance as soon as she woke up. But no, that was probably Unseelie. Besides, she had been legitimately trying (in her own misguided way) to make a good impression on me.

"I see, Sir, you are very free with that Orgasmic Touch of yours," Vernier observed.

"It was the simplest way to calm her down," I shrugged. "Now, my dear, we can get back to what we were discussing before. You were enumerating the times you've successfully helped people and you had come up with two examples."

"I appreciate your efforts at comforting me, and I see your point," Vernier admitted. "It's true, I was focusing too much on my failures. However, I think it's more important to get back to what I was saying before. It would be a bad idea for the two of us to become romantically involved, no matter how tempting it might be."

"Why not?" I asked without sounding nervous at all.

"Well, won't it interfere with your destiny? You need to marry an elvish noblefemme, don't you?"

"I don't have to do that right away," I explained. "There's time to live a little and have some fun first." I thought about adding that her lifespan was likely just a small fraction of my own, so even if she spent her whole life with me, I would still have time to find Zandar afterward ... but I wisely decided not to mention it.

"It doesn't seem quite right," she muttered.

"Nonsense," I scoffed. "Fuma blesses all kinds of venery, and it is customary for elves of all social strata to fool around a bit when they're young. Royal elves, especially, are expected to have mistresses and concubines."

"Uhhh," Vernier replied skeptically. "There's also the fact that you are an elf and I am mortal."

"What's wrong with that? Lots of elves have taken lowfolk lovers. It's a time-honored tradition."

As soon as I said it, I was reminded of all the old ballads in which the lowfolk lover wound up bringing doom to the elf. Rederbrand, Heer Halowyn, Lord Randall, and Sir John Hilsinger - just to name a few - had all met unpleasant ends due to the negligence (and sometimes the outright malice) of their lowfolk paramours. Was I about to head down that same path?

"I'm just concerned that I will grow old and lose my beauty while you stay the same," Vernier complained. "And with your perception of time, wouldn't I be just a momentary diversion ... are you all right, Sir? You look slightly ill."