"What you say interest me greatly,"

I said, rubbing my chin thoughtfully.  "The promise of granting wishes does sound useful to get people's attention, but I only want to dish them out as a reward for a very substantial service.  I don't want to be overwhelmed with granting the wishes of every yokel that shows up."

"You might consider a tier system" Vernier suggested.  "That way you could define specifically what degree of service would receive a particular reward."

"Hmm," I replied.  "I have a feeling that being so strictly transactional would be a bad idea.  Telling people exactly what requirements they must meet in order to earn their desired reward could still wind up with me getting overwhelmed with wish granting.  I can promise them something for something, and keep true to my word, but I reserve the right to decide exactly what they get.  It's not only a more advantageous business policy (for me), but it is also far more elfly to be vague.  Aren't we believed to be capricious, unpredictable, flighty creatures of whim and whimsy?  That's an assessment that actually isn't far from the mark."

"It sounds like you have a firm grasp on theatrics," Vernier observed.  "This is good.  Another way you might limit wish-seekers is by imposing challenges.  Do you have any ideas?"

"Getting through the Tulgey wood is a good enough challenge by itself," I shrugged.  "I don't really have the time, resources, or inclination to set up some elaborate gauntlet.  Hmmm ... it might help to spread vague rumors about performing noble or valiant deeds, and being - what's it called - pure of heart? before people can gain an audience with the White Elf.  Yes, I like the sound of that.  The White Elf.  You must be worthy to stand before the White Elf!"

"It is very evocative," Vernier agreed.

"I can just give the trees a description of what kinds of people to let through," I decided.  "We should place some emphasis on the noble deeds and pure of heart thing.  No matter how hard my enemies and self-proclaimed allies try to force me into the role, I will prove to the world that I am NOT Unseelie!"

"Good for you, sir," Vernier beamed.  "That all sounds very practicable.  Now, how should your wish-granting abilities be portrayed in the popular lore?  What sort of tantalizing stories should we spread?"

"Standard stuff, I should imagine.  Let it be known that I can bestow riches, make people more charismatic, give them back their youth, make them more attractive, turn them into a fantastic lover ... why, I can even change their se-... Actually, maybe we should keep quiet about the whole gender swapping thing.  It might attract a bunch of weirdos if that gets too much attention."

"I'm afraid the secret is already out," Vernier reminded me.  "Everyone around here knows that Oak Marten used to be a boy."

"Oh hey, speaking of transmogrification," Rebecca interrupted.  "I'm almost done with the Raccoon Monster's makeover.  Her hair and makeup are complete.  I just need to change her outfit, but I don't have my sewing supplies nor most of the materials I would need.  Could you use your dark magic to help, My Lord?"

"Sure," I said with a magnanimous grin.  "As long as Burnside has no objections."

Burnside continued to say and do nothing.

Rebecca proceeded to meticulously describe the clothes she imagined to complete Burnside's new look, and I composed Gramarye to make the items according to her specifications.

"SQUEEEE," Rebecca squealed when it was finished.  "Oh she looks FANTASTIC!!  I'm so jealous!  When can I have an outfit just like this?"

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