Fortune Favors (QQ Chapter 26)

I stand outside the gates of a truly massive manor, a large clock tower seems to loom up above. A near endless metal fence seems to surround the estate, some large bushes and shrubs just barely poking over the top in the distance. 

Before me, at the gate, is a red haired woman in green, her arms crossed and eyes closed as she seems to sleep. 

"Excuse me." I call out, not even earning a twitch from the lightly snoring woman. 

"Hey." I continue. "Is it possible to meet with your lady? I have a business proposition." 

"..." 

"..." 

"..." 

I sharply inhale then exhale, raising a hand as a large metal disk appears beside me. 

a mallet appears a moment later as my ears flatten. 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOONG 

My ears ring from the cacophony of noise from the gong as my eyebrows twitch. 

She still didn't wake up. 

"WAKE THE FUCK UP!" I shout. 

There's a flicker of movement as dozens of knives appear. 

They rocket towards the sleeping woman. 

"AAIIII!" She screams as she snaps awake rolling away from the stabbing knives. 

"Oh!" I beam, at the white haired maid stood atop the metal gate, her narrowed eyes a blood red as she gazes down at the rolling guardswoman. "Wonderful! The person I wanted to speak to!" 

Her gaze strays to me. "What do you want?" 

"I have a business proposition, but I am unsure if it would be rude for me to discuss it with you instead of your mistress... it's your power that I need though." 

"Hm. A business proposition... what sort?" 

"Magical wines." I reply. "Your powers combine with my ability to make better aged wines in an instant." 

"..." 

"You should speak to the lady, then." She decides. "Such a proposition is something she may be interested in... please follow me." 

I step forwards- 

The gate is suddenly open, I was preparing to leap over it, but I untense my legs and simply walk through. 

"Thank you for coming." I begin as the maid begins leading me up to the door. "I was getting kind of fed up with your gatekeeper... I was moments from simply leaping over the wall... of course, I can see that would have been a bad idea. But I wasn't thinking in the moment." 

"Yes. I will have words with her after this." The maid seethes quietly. "But it would be wise to never enter this mansion unless you are personally invited... if you want to keep your life at the very least." 

We pause at the door. 

"Please wait here for a moment." Sakuya begins as she turns. "I will go speak to my lady." 

With that... she's gone. 

I gaze around briefly, looking over myself. 

My kimono is clean and unwrinkled, my ears and tail are on display, so I'm not thought of as merely human, I've got a 'sample' wine for Sakuya to age for Remilia to see if our abilities work in tandem. 

Plus I do have quite a few peach lemons, a type of fruit the young vampire would have never seen before. 

I flinch as the white haired woman reappears in my domain. I had been waiting for a short five minutes at this point so her sudden appearance kind of startled me. 

"My lady will see you now." She speaks as the double doors in front of me opens. "Please, follow me." 

I follow after the time manipulating maid, walking through the long and tall halls of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. 

Numerous portraits of a small blue haired girl seem to line the walls, she has pale ghostly skin a quirked smile that shows off a glistening fang, her blood red eyes seem to track me even upon the canvass. 

We eventually enter a large room, a blue haired girl sits upon a large throne, mouth covered with her hand. 

I step forwards as the maid disappears from her spot and reappears at Remilia's side. 

Half way across the room, I bow my head. "It is an honor to meet the Scarlet Devil." 

"Hm. Yes. It is. Who are you, fox youkai?" 

"My name is Argo Naut. I'm something of a merchant." I reply. 

"I see." The vampiress observes. "And what of this... business proposition you are suggesting?" 

"Like many youkai in Gensokyo, I have gained a special ability. I can make wines. But not your traditional wine... when I create a wine, the effects of the ingredients used in its creation are drawn out and empowered... in addition, normally created wine would simply become vinegar if aged long enough. My wine does not have that issue. The longer it is aged, the more power of the ingredients are drawn out... but not only that, so too do the flavor and alcohol content increase. Supposedly without limit." 

"And seeing as how my maid can control time and space to her whims... you sought her out to make use of your talents." 

"Yes..." I nod once. "Though, I am unsure of if said time powers would necessarily work... that is why I have brought somewhat of a test." 

I draw a small barrel from my pipe. "This small barrel contains juice from the best grapes I could find, a hint of a Peach Lemon fruit... and the blood of an extinct creature. This is yours. Merely a test to see if our powers are actually compatible." 

"Oh my... an extinct creature? How generous." Remilia smirks. "Sakuya, if you would." 

With a flash, the weight in my hand in gone and the maid is sat there with a wine glass on a silvery tray. 

The vampire takes it in a dainty hand. "How many years was this aged?" 

"Five." The maid informs. 

"I hadn't aged it more than a day before I brough it here." I supply as well. 

Remilia's eyes slowly stray to Sakuya. "And... did it work?" 

"Yes. It has grown beyond normal wine far faster than it should." The time-stop made nods once. 

Remilia takes a sniff of the wine. "Oh. A lovely aroma." 

She takes a sip, eyes widening slightly. "I do taste quite a heavy amount of grape. Matched almost evenly with the velvety and rich taste of blood... it's a little... gamey... not quite my taste but an interesting experience nonetheless... oh? and at the end I taste a gentle sweetness and sourness. That seems to bring the entire flavor together." 

"Hm." She hums. "Quite nice." 

She places the glass aside, interlocking her fingers and leaning forwards slightly. "Well, Argo Naut... you have certainly gained my attention. what is it you expect to gain from this?" 

"I hope that as your maid here ages your wine, she also ages one of my own wine barrels at the same time. One for one." 

"I see." Remilia notes. "But isn't Sakuya's ability being used far more than your own in this case? It wouldn't be possible without your power, I will admit, but Sakuya's time manipulation is being used far more. One barrel for you... in exchange for two for me." 

"That is... quite fair... I will agree if you supply any blood you wish to turn to wine as I do not even for a moment believe that I am a connoisseur of blood and I do not wish to give you a sub-par product out of some brigand's blood." 

"That is easily accomplished." The vampire nods slowly. "Sakuya... please write down the recipe for your wine. I believe I might enjoy that even more if it were allowed to grow endlessly." 

"Might I ask how many barrels you'd wish for me to make?" 

"Twenty should be a good start." She replies as her eyes stray to Sakuya.  

With a flash, numerous pails of blood fill the room, the white haired woman is clutching a stack of notes. 

There's a flicker of movement as she appears next to me. "Here you are." 

I look over the front page. "Oh wow... pretty handwriting." 

"Now." I look up. "Thank you for your time. I'll just collect the ingredients and be on my way. You should expect my return sometime between four and five days." 

[Split] 

"Here you are. The last barrel." I smile as I roll a final large barrel out of a doorway which I had opened. 

The pale girl sat atop a throne- that seems even larger than last time- clasps her hands together, fingers steepled as a thin smile crosses her lips. "Very well. You have completed your half... I quite enjoy the branding you have done on the barrels... A bat for myself, correct?" 

"Yes, ma'am." I nod once. 

"Sakuya... if you would... give us a standard array of wine ages. Two of each for me, one of each for him." 

There's a flicker of movement, the barrels are now sat upright. 

"Hm... can I get a profile for my new wines, Sakuya?" 

"I have aged them all differently in ten sets. One year. Five Years. Twenty Five Years. Fifty Years. One Hundred Years. Two hundred and fifty. Five hundred. One thousand. Two thousand. And finally five thousand." 

"One year to five years?" Remilia questions. "Come now. Our youkai friend here could simply make his own at that rate. Bump them all up slightly if you would." 

"..." 

The barrels move slightly. 

"Alright, what about now?" 

"Twenty Five, fifty, one hundred, two hundred, five hundred, one thousand, two thousand, five thousand, ten thousand and finally twenty five thousand years." 

"..." 

"Oh wow... that twenty five thousand year old wine might just kill me if a drop even touched me." I mutter. 

"Is this acceptable?" The bluish-white haired girl questions, turning to gaze at me, her red eyes almost piercing cleanly through me. 

"Of course!" I smile brightly. "Though... I'm unsure how a vampire's alcohol tolerence is... but I would still be a bit wary around the older ones." 

"Hm. Vampires cannot get drunk." The girl smirks. 

"Yes, but these are wines enhanced by my ability; I have no idea if there's a threshold if they start being conceptually alcoholic." 

The pale girl smiles wistfully. "Hm. Your concern has been noted, but entirely unneeded. I'm not fated to get... drunk?" 

She pauses, gazing at the barrels in confusion. 

"Huh... Interesting. Your concern has been noted." The girl repeats. 

[Split] 

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!" A black haired girl shouts, floating slightly off the ground, gesturing at the barrels. 

"I made a deal with a fate controlling vampire." I note. 

"Wh- These would COMPLETELY destroy the balance of the game! I can't let you sell these to players! Even a bottle of that one over there would increase their stats by TWENTY FIVE!" 

"Technically speaking." I begin. "The twenty-five year barrel was created using ONLY ten fruit of growth." 

Her mouth is left ajar. 

"That one on the other hand." 

I point towards the oldest. "I put as much fruit of growth as I could in it." 

"But. These are for me!" I smile brightly. "I'm going to take my world by storm... through crippling alcoholism! All I need to do is get some bottles... has that glassblower's skill improved any?" 

[Split] 

Lustre Nautique: 
A one of a kind wine that has been strengthened through innate youkai abilities. Vintage. Aged twenty five years in a barrel of Ebonwood. Unsuitable for the typically human palate. 

Reduces Thirst by 25 
Inflicts 'Alchohol Poisoning' Inflicting 100 Points of Damage per second for 60 Minutes 
Increases a random statistic by 25 permanently. 
You regenerate 20 Health every 30 Seconds for 10 Minutes 

Well. 

I've got three hundred of these to drink. 

The bonus to health regeneration is an effect of the bottle. 

The issue is that I'd die from drinking the whole thing in one setting. 

But. 

Gotta power through this in order to be somebody in touhou. 

The cork comes out with a bang, as pour a tiny bit of the golden wine into a glass. About a shot's worth. 

I bring it to my lips. 

'oh? Oh WOW.' 

The sweetness, the aroma sitting at the back of my throat. 

It coats my tongue. Velvety, it sloshes around my mouth for a moment before I swallow. 

That's really nice actually. 

I pour myself a second shot. 

I sit there, in the small office of our log cabin in Aincrad, a dumb smile slowly crossing my lips as I run my hand along the desk. 

The world begins to grow slightly... fuzzy. 

My gaze strays to the door as a woman steps in with a yawn, a long blonde tail swishes behind her as she comes and takes a seat on my lap. "Ah... Argo..." 

She runs a hand along one of her ears as she blinks down at me in my current state. "What are you doing?" 

"Emmjoying... the frots... of... Hic ah... wow I'm drumk." 

"Tsuuuukasa." I whine, grasping at her body. "Less have seggs." 

A fox-like smile crosses her lips. "Ah... you are quite drunk. Do you mind if... I have some. It must be quite potent to render you like this with so little... it smells quite nice too." 

"Sure." I mutter. "Dringings... better with... friends... and seggs." 

[Split] 

My ears are flat, as a low whine leaves my lips as I crack open an eye. 

My blood loudly rushes through my ears, my head throbs, my mouth is dry, a naked woman lays in front of me as I hold her tightly, acting as the big spoon. 

Ugh. I feel so fucking sick right now. 

I hold up a hand, golden light whirling down my arm and causing the ache to fade. 

Tsukasa lets out a low groan, just as sensitive to light as I am right now. 

"Stooooop." She whines. 

The glowing healing light seems to snap to her. She stops squirming in my gasp, letting out a tired breath. Eventually she cracks open an eye. "Mnnn?" 

After healing her for a bit I go back to healing myself. 

"Ah... right..." The girl whispers. "I remember now. How fun~" 

Looking around now... I can see that we've kind of... curled up under the desk. 

A fancy looking bottle rests in front of us. 

Holy shit... 

We finished the entire thing. 

I look down, seeing numerous hickys across both my own body and Tsukasa's. 

"Hmmm." She hums relaxing in my grasp, semen clings to her stomach and messily drips from in between her thighs. "You're quite loving when you're drunk, you know... trying to meet each and every one of my desires~" 

I can feel faint amusement coming through our little link. 

"Oh... what did I do." I groan. 

"You tried your best to impregnate me! Such a good husband!" She beams, her bright smile slowly falling to a pout. "I'm just sad we hadn't met the prerequisite number of fox spirits before I could actually get pregnant." 

I rub my forehead as I remember something we talked about a really long time ago. "So... like... what's the deal with that? We can create up to one hundred and six fox spirits, but... the one hundred and seventh would be a legitimate child?" 

"Mhhmm? Why are you taking such sudden interest? Do you perhaps wish to have a baby now?!" Her eyes are practically shining. 

"No... not yet." I whisper, hugging her close yet again. "I was just making a mental note to keep better count." 

"You're no fun." She pouts.  

"You already forcibly adopted one daughter and are planning on more after 'displaying your dominance' to her." I deadpan, with a half lidded stare causing her to quietly snicker. 

"Haaah." She eventually sighs. "So... what was that we drank? It was quite strong. Really good too." 

"Wine of growth aged for twenty five years." 

Tsukasa's silent for a moment. "Oh. Wine made by your ability... aged for twenty five years? The Scarlet Devil agreed? That's wonderful!" 

"I have some barrels for wines that are twenty five thousand years. One drop would be more than enough to kill us. But eventually we will have true power." I grin victoriously. 

"Aha. I see. Our path to power is alcoholism. That sounds quite... Oni adjacent. I bet they'd be quite jealous if they ever heard." I watch her clench and unclench her fist. "I feel... faintly stronger. Huh. Not much but mildly noticeable." 

"We've got two hundred and ninety nine more bottles to work through... then we can move onto the fifty year old ones... then the one hundred." I list, causing my other half to smile brightly. 

"You're still a bit weaker than I am... physically at least... and while boons are shared between us. The party which partakes in effects typically gains the larger portion of the benefit. Sixty-forty. So the next bottles should be yours. I'll be satisfied with the simply forty. Besides. Someone needs to tend to Shiro! And I'm not about to be a shit absentee drunk parent to my kit!" 

"And-" she falls silent as the door to the office creaks open. 

We both freeze as there's a gentle thudding on the wood floors. 

Shiro comes around the desk and stares down at us, much to my embarrassed horror. 

"I'm hungry..." She notes, showing no real embarrassment or emotion at all, really. 

Well... I think there's some faint disappointment deep within those amber-ish orbs, but that's kind of hard to say. 

"A-Ah..." Tsukasa hums before she promptly stands up, walking past the girl. "Well, I'll get right on that, after a bath!" 

I slip into an illusionary pipe as Shiro's eyes trail after Tsukasa, utterly disappearing from that situation. 

I shoot through the building, making my way to the bathroom, and turning on the shower. 

Tsukasa joins me a moment later. We sit under the water in silence. 

"That was mortifying?" I eventually speak. 

"Hm?" Tsukasa blinks. "It was?" 

"Wh- you- you can't seriously be okay with what happened, can you?" 

"I'm a Youkai. My kit seeing me after my enjoyable time with you was... mildly embarrassing as I've been cultivating this 'professional' and 'neat' aura for her, but... oh well. Probably not going to be the last time she'll see me after you have your way with me." 

I rub the bridge of my nose, water splashing over me. 'haaah. What am I going to do with you, Tsukasa?' 

[Split] 

I sit at our dining table, face flat as I can feel the pointed stare of my- apparently- adopted daughter. 

"It's so wonderful to have the entire family here!" Tsukasa beams from the kitchen. "Argo has to work so often! It's about time we had breakfast as a family!" 

"Mn." The girl in front of me... hums? Grumbles? Audibly makes a noise that the Dandere equivalent of 'I'm not enthused right now'. 

"Come now, Shiro! He's your father!" The woman smiles brightly as she sits several large bowls of rice in front of us, followed by some soup and fish. 

Uh... this is actually the first time Tsukasa has cooked for me. 

I've also never had Miso Soup before. 

"Mn... Mom's... Husband..." The little girl begrudgingly glares. 

"It's father!" Tsukasa chastises. 

"Ah jeez Tsukasa's husband? And I even went out of my way to get a gift for you, little Shiro." I roll my eyes. 

There's a momentary beat of silence as she slowly looks to me. 

"Father." Her eyes glint slightly. "What... is it?" 

"Hmmm... I don't knoooow." I begin quietly as I tap my chin. "Whatever it is, you'll just have to wait until after breakfast!" 

The tiny girl pouts at me causing my slightly smug smirk to grow. 

"Mn." 

She really is adorable. 

We finish our food and quickly move to the other room. 

a small doorway opens beside me and with a gentle tug... the box of a flat-screen tv is pulled from within. 

I hold it with one hand, the other side being supported by real illusions. 

Then I sit it on the ground and grab another box, this one for a game system, a 'Nepstation Genisis'. 

I sit a stack of four games down atop the box. "Game system. Bam." 

"Woah..." The girl's eyes are slightly sparkly. "That is... cool..." 

"I'm sure you're smart enough to figure it out on your own, right?" I announce as the girl slowly walks forwards and begins unboxing the Tv. Yui will work with her to get it working much like the Ai did with my phone. 

I step out, Tsukasa following me as we both gaze at the girl who seems to read over the box of each. 

"So... Tsukasa... I kind of hate that I'm saying this, but... with Yui, couldn't we technically bring her brother over now? Kayaba kind of lost his admin privileges." 

The girl's ears flatten, eyes widening, her voice coming out in little more than a whisper. "Argo... he's... he's dead... he's been for a few weeks now." 

"What?" I hiss. 

Weeks?! 

"He got reckless. Started cruelly taking the lives of his fellow players for granted... using them as simple stepping stones. Killing them to gain access to their items in an attempt to clear faster. he practically became a tyrant... until he misjudged the strength of the twenty-fifth floor boss. He put up a good fight... in fact, it died shortly after he did from some sort of poison, but..." 

How... 

How does she- 

Yui. Yui must have told her at some point. I'm not here that often, am I? 

"Oh my god..." I whisper. "Does- does she-" 

"No..." Tsukasa shakes her head, eyes moistening slightly. "I-I-" 

She takes a deep breath and exhales. "I've just barely managed to get her to not be a shaking sobbing mess the second I leave her sight for a few minutes. I don't... I don't want to crush her heart so soon after that." 

"But she deserves to know. She WILL know soon when all the floors connect." I shoot back under my breath. 

"I know!" The woman hisses in the same whispering tone. "You're right. I'll try and break it to her soon." 

My nose crinkles slightly, already imagining how the girl's going to react to the knowledge. 

"Um... Mom... can I... have some help?" The girl questions in her usual monotone voice. 

"Sure!" The fox woman smiles brightly, her worry and distress seeming to completely and totally disappear, but through our connection I can feel it bubbling beneath the surface. "I'm not experienced with human technology but if my wonderful daughter can show me what to do! Or maybe your dad can help too!" 

"Ah... sure! I've got time." I put on a brave face for the girl who Tsukasa's more than likely going to be forced to break the heart of. She- as a youkai that has a good two hundred years of experience more than me- knows that she can't allow this to fester. If Shiro knew we were concealing that from her... she... she'd never forgive us. 

"I didn't really read many of the instructions as I bought it." I announce as I step forwards, beginning to help the girl unbox and set up her new game system. 

Though... thinking about all this... 

That begs the question... 

She friended her brother, right? And... correct me if I'm wrong, don't players disappear from friend lists when they die? Or at the very least, you are able to see their status? 

Yui. 

Yui must have done something to spare Shiro's feelings. 

My eyes flick to the girl who is sat nearby on the sofa, kicking her legs as she reads the back of one of the games I got her, a glint of excitement in her normally impassive eyes. 

Pain briefly grapples at my heart as I look away, knowing just how poorly she'll take the information I now know. 

I'll... 

I'll leave that to Tsukasa. 

She's the one who has two hundred years worth of experience in navigating delicate situations like this. 

I... 

Just need to focus on drinking. 

My newest world should be here sometime soon as well. Just... focus on that. Only on that.