Quest Front - Daín's Mount
Added 2021-04-14 01:51:16 +0000 UTCEDIT: This quest front is now featured in Quest Fronts #1, which you can get in digital or print format on the following store pages:
- DriveThruRPG: https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/360541
- Itch: https://ludicpen.itch.io/quest-fronts-issue-1
Comments
Love the new layout. It's gorgeous!!! Looks so professional now. - I found a typo in the 2nd line: "... Gods for because". I think the "for" is wrong. - you need more space between the Initial and the 3rd line. Either ad more line spacing or decrease the size of the Initial. Or do a 3-line-Initial. - also you might want to give the initial some more room on the right side. - 2nd paragraph, 2nd line, (from now on P2, L2) "where the weapon... be hidden" Is an embedded subordinate clause, if I'm not mistaken. But punctuation isn't my strong suit. - P2, L4, "brights": should be "shines" or a synonym. Brights is unusual. - P2, L6, "promulgating": also rather unusual. Heard it here for the first time. Maybe use a more commonly known word. - Chapter "Site", P1, L2, "divinity": shouldn't it be "divine" as in "the divine"? Not entirely sure with that tho. (A non-native speaker correcting a non-native speaker is definitely not the most intelligent method, lol) - Chapter "Artifact", P1, L3, "mythtells": missing space between "myth" and "tells" - same chapter, P1, L5: that sentence doesn't make sense. Look at "so much that decide to fall..." - Chapter "Characters", P1, L3, "the best combatant": should be "to be the best combatant" - same chapter, P4, L3, "corroborated": also unusual, but not as problematic as the others. Still, you might consider something like "proven" - also in your credits I think you should put your name first, since you are the leading author and with gabriel's name first it appears like he did the front and you simply co-authored (except if this is how it actually is). I know, in many disciplines alphabetical order is preferred, but I think "credit where credit is due". You could also just write quest front by Samuel Rondon, Art by Gabriel Guevara. But of course that only works if you did all the authoring work.
Solanaar
2021-04-14 05:17:11 +0000 UTC
