TG STORY: FROZEN CHAPTER 2 PART 2/3

The sudden deafening screech of a car horn awoke me from my zombie-like daze. The driver behind me was in a much clearer state of mind than I was while also being an asshole. The clock on the dashboard of my car read 6:25 pm and I had just left work for the day. “Distracting” and “absent-minded” are good terms to describe how my day in the office went. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the date I had agreed to go on with Nick tonight. It was my first as a girl and I didn’t know what to expect. The rush hour traffic did nothing to help but give more time for my restless mind to play out different scenarios about how the evening might go. At the end of all this, I hoped Nick and I could remain friends just as we have been for years. My heart skipped a beat, and I felt my cheeks flush red as I thought about what might happen if we became more than friends.

I arrived home in one piece after a stressful drive and got ready for my date. Nick had offered to drive me, and he would be arriving soon at the lobby of my apartment complex. I took a quick shower and contemplated my outfit for the night. Would I wear a dress with heels? Should I wear pantyhose or go bare-legged? How much makeup should I put on? Needless to say, I put more thought into this outfit than any other before since my time as a female. I ended up settling on a casual semi-sheer white blouse with a pair of high-waisted jeans. I thought the outfit was cute yet functional, and that it was conservative enough to not give Nick any wrong ideas. I tied my hair back in a ponytail (something I had learned about a month after my transformation) and applied light natural makeup to my face. Once done I put on my brown loafers and beige jacket before grabbing my purse and heading downstairs to meet Nick who had just arrived.

Standing in the middle of my apartment's ground-floor lobby was Nick dressed like he was the best man at a wedding. His normally curly hair was slicked back into professional lines while his normally scrawny body was made more defined by the navy-blue suit he wore. His normally relaxed demeanor was replaced with a serious and nervous temperament. Nowhere did I see the goofy and nerdy friend that I grew up with.

“Hey! How’s it going? I like the suit.” I stated as I approached where he was standing. I tried my best not to be intimidated by his oozing determination. I could feel he had more than just dinner on his mind.

“Oh, this? This is just what I wear to work, it looks more expensive than it actually is. That’s my philosophy in life, fake it till you make it! OK, how about we get going our reservation is in 15 minutes. You look great by the way!” Adverting his gaze as he finished that last part of his sentence.

My cheeks turned a little red at the sudden uninspired compliment. I tried my best not to become flustered, but I found it very cute and endearing seeing my friend trying his best to act polite and charming. Deep down inside I also enjoyed the attention I was getting.

The car ride to the restaurant was awkward, to say the least. Perhaps both Nick and I were feeling so nervous that we couldn’t communicate and have fun like we usually do. With my purse seated on my lap I found myself clutching it hard like it was a life preserver. If we were having this much turbulence on the car ride to the restaurant, I couldn’t even imagine how I was going to survive the whole night.

If there was any consolation to the evening, it would be the amazing food and design of the Japanese restaurant we ate at. Amazingly carved pieces of salmon and sashimi graced our plates, their color a vibrant pink hue. The charred flavors of the torched sushi topped with a spicy sauce mixed with salmon roe made my already big eyes double in size. If I didn’t have the appetite of a girl, I would have tried everything on the menu.

Nick was able to reserve us a private table which was almost like its own room, being covered on all sides by a curtain. As the night progressed, I was admittedly more focused on the food than I was on Nick, and I noticed the ever-increasing feeling of uncertainty written all over his face. We exchanged pleasant small talk about the food or our work, but I could tell Nick wanted to talk about something else.

And then it happened.

“I like you. I like you a lot.” Nick blurted out of the blue. I almost spat out the Miso soup I was drinking. My eyes visibly widened but I was too embarrassed in the moment to make eye contact with him. Given his behaviour throughout the whole night I can't say I was surprised but it was his innocent tone that threw me off. He sounded like he really meant it. 

His declaration of love continued for a few more seconds while I just awkwardly sat frozen, unable to process most of what he was saying but understanding the general gist of his feelings for me. After what must have felt like an eternity he then asked in the most naïve and childlike tone I had ever heard come out of his mouth “So what do you think about me? Would you be my girlfriend?”

My brain must have short-circuited as I struggled to say anything. A million different questions began circling inside my head. Do I tell him the truth about how I am not really the childhood friend he remembers? If I say no to him, could we still be friends? Do I even like guys? Am I a man or a woman? A clear image suddenly formed in my head. It was my lightbulb moment that gave me enough clarity to form my response. The image was of a girl, not just any girl, but of my first love when I was a man. The details of her face were no longer clear in my mind, as the memories of my life as a guy had gradually faded over the months, but I knew more than anything that I had wanted to be on this date with her. Not as a girl and not with Nick.

With my eyes wide open and face redder than the sashimi elegantly plated in front of us, I gathered the courage to finally lock eyes with Nick and yelled a forceful “NO!” The lights suddenly flickered as the room became silent.

Nick’s face visibly became very upset very quickly and I couldn’t help but look away out of guilt. I myself had been on the receiving end of many rejections from girls I had liked in the past, so I sympathized with his pain. He slowly got up from the table and walked out of our booth.

“What the fuck?!” What the hell is going on here?!” I heard Nick scream in a loud yet distraught voice. Fighting to hold back tears that were forming.

I quickly got out of my seat and what I saw was not good. Time had stopped once again.