Cyc 2 (Pop goes the Jack)

He knew that he should get used to the strange and unusual now that he was quite literally supernatural but it was difficult. He just went to sleep and got dragged into an alien space and was confronted with an entity that gave off some strange vibes.

Then he woke up from that encounter and instead of having a moment to collect himself he was forcefully dragged into a book that he miraculously had in his hands. So he was entitled to being a bit shocked and overwhelmed by the sudden turn of events.

He was always good on his feet so he was able to adjust quickly but everything still felt a little off. The place that he found himself in was not exactly conducive to calming his mood either. 

A vast plain of grass expanded around him and he could not see anything except that grass as far as he could tell. Well, not just grass, in front of him stood a giant circus tent that looked like the entrance was made for the elephants to enter through.

Not a threatening image considering the bright day around him but despite the gap being massive he could not see a goddamn thing inside of that tent. Which was about as threatening as could be considering the comparison between the bright day and the lightless tent.

Sadly it did not look like he was going to have much of a choice. From the words he read from the book and the last words thrown at him from the entity, this was the tutorial. Meaning he had to enter this giant tent despite doing so going against his instincts.

There was also a sign that looked like a crooked arrow which was pointing directly at the tent with the following words on it.

Trial of incompetence!

He felt his eyebrow twitch at the annoying thing but the vibe he got from the thing was it was searching for amusement. Meaning that it made sense that it would develop a tutorial to poke fun at the Players.

Oliver let out a sigh and was gearing up to walk towards the tent when a screen flashed across his face.

[Lesson#1. Walking, did you know you can walk by moving your legs one after the other?]

He kind of wanted to punch the thing after that comment. Sure, he was taking his time getting hyped up but that did not mean he deserved this mockery. Which this was 100% was considering it only showed up now instead of before. Actually it would still be just as mocking if it appeared before but now it just felt more personal.

“So what if it is? Does it really matter Mortal? Just get on with it already, I am growing sick and tired of watching you just look dumbly at the tent.” The familiar deep tone seemed to ring out through his mind. For a moment he froze as he was caught off guard by the sudden voice.

Oliver gritted his teeth and just walked in ignoring the voice for now. Figures a being that was doing all of this for amusement would take interest in what he would do with the gift they provided.

As he crossed the threshold of the tent the voice rang out again.

“Finally, I was thinking I needed to start throwing meteors at you to get the show going. You might find the tutorial a bit, much but there is no lesson not worth learning Mortal. Remember that.” The voice spoke out darkly again and he felt an odd sense of foreboding from the tone it used.

Oliver was not sure what was coming but he was going to keep those words in mind. Which were quickly being put to the test with the first thing he saw when he entered the tent.

Instead of the interior of a circus tent he was greeted with the sight of a small room with bright purple walls. The only things in the room were a door, a raised platform, and a sign posted in front of the platform.

On the platform sat a jack-in-a-box with a doll already popping out of it. It was dressed in standard jester attire and looked like it was made out of cloth. In its hands there was a cloth knife it waved the thing at him in a stabbing motion as it bounced back and forth on its springs. Despite it being a doll it was clearly alive in some way as it moved about and watched him with that cheery stitched face.

It had information above its head that explained what it was. A level 1 jack-in-a-box considering its red name the thing was an enemy. The full HP bar in front of it was more than clear about that.

The sign in front of the platform was not even explaining the fucking thing.

Lesson#2 Stats. All good RPG games need levels and stats. In your case, your Stats are split into the following classifications. STR, VIT, DEX, WIS, INT, CHA, LUK. I am sure I don’t have to explain what each stat means. If I did then I picked the wrong candidate and you should just disconnect from the server of life!

Again Oliver felt the snark being thrown at him. He let out a sigh as it was a small price to pay for access to the Gamer even if it was annoying. Hopefully, when he got past the tutorial the comments would go away or at least ease.

There was not much information here but he knew a little about the Gamer System already. So he decided to test his knowledge by thinking about the word Status. Thankfully that thought brought up the expected screen. Which told him two things, familiar commands should work and he could think commands while interacting with The Gamer interface.

[]

Name: Oliver Lamphier

Title: Newbie(Locked till tutorial completion)

Age: 24

Class: (Locked)

LV: 1

XP: 0/100

HP: 100%

MP: 100%

SP: 100%

STR: 1

VIT: 1

DEX: 1

WIS: 1

INT: 1

CHA: 1

LUK: 1

[]

Looked just about right for what he expected. Classes being a thing was interesting but he could not touch it just yet. 

Seeing his stats so low was odd considering he did not feel like he was that weak in everything. It was probably in line with The Gamer adding on top of what he already had. Like how it worked in Shield Hero with their base state not being accounted for.

[Due to a wise deduction you have gained 1 point of WIS.]

Well, that confirmed that at least. Beyond that, this also told him that grinding out Stats was a thing and something he should work on.

“For the love of myself, if you squirrel away and try to grind away for the rest of your miserable life I will send Orcs to invade the tutorial. They won’t be regular Orcs either they will have certain inclinations that make them target folks like you instead of the fairer gender.” The voice came back and Oliver felt his blood run cold at the threat.

Admittedly a small part of him wanted to do all the grinding he could in this tutorial as it was clearly a safe space but that was off the table. He was not going to sign himself to be used and abused like a Busty Dark Elf who wandered into the wrong cave.

Oliver quickly closed his Status window and looked around for what came next as he clearly had more to do in this room. At first, nothing looked different but when he looked over the sign it changed.

Lesson#2 Skills, all games have them and this one is not so different HIAS&DH&(&@(E)(((E)(DU)JD)Q(JD*MX.

He blinked at that as he thought there was more coming but was shocked when the rest of the message was a garbled mess.

“Yeah, that’s on me. I thought making a tutorial that would baby you and hold your hand would be amusing but you going through information you already knew was fucking boring so I’m cutting it short. You got Skills, Inventory, Settings, Titles, Achievements, and a Shop. That shit should be simple enough that you can figure it out by me just naming them so let’s skip forward.” The voice drawled out and Oliver felt conflicted.

On one hand, being babied and having his hand held through some very basic shit was annoying to a ridiculous degree. On the other, assuming you knew everything about a God Given Gift just because you read stories about similar abilities was the height of hubris. There was very valuable information hidden here and if he had to deal with condescending notes and tips to get it he was willing to go through that.

Sadly that choice was no longer in his hands as the patron that he owed all of this to was getting bored.

“Yup, not your call to make little Mortal. Don’t bitch about it too much like I said all of that is pretty easy to understand just from your previous knowledge and the names themselves. Anything beyond that you can pick up by experimenting.” Again the voice pipped in. 

Oliver shrugged it off and decided to roll with this for now. He could get a handle on his power later when he did not have a bored all powerful entity watching over his actions.

It did strike him as rather ironic that a deity that was advocating for learning every lesson was also rushing through this. Clearly, that thought only counted if the subject was interesting. He tried not to dwell on that thought as thinking about the faults of all-powerful beings did not really end up well for mortals like him.

The garbled mess of text on the sign flashed through several lines that were equally mocking and condescending from what he could see. At least he did not have to do mundane objective after mundane objective only to get more snark. Finally, the sign settled on some text.

Lesson# 44. This is an enemy you will find plenty of them on your travels. This one in particular is a simple possessed object but enemies can be found in any form from the neighbor Bob the bull who is eyeing your wife to Gorlax the Destroyer of Mustard. You can tell who is hostile by the red outline on their names.

All of this is worth it for unlimited power, you got to remember that Oliver. At least this was somewhat useful to know even if the method that it told him was less than ideal. From the description of Bob, it was clear that an enemy will not just be defined by those who have violent thoughts towards me but those out to hurt me through a variety of ways.

Since motive could be detected and it was the base on what would harm him that brought up questions. For example, if a psychopath approaches him and is insistent that pulling out his organs was for the best, if that manic truly believed that would he be considered an enemy even if his intention was not malicious from his perspective?

That was a fairly ridiculous example but let’s take a Yandere as an example. She might try to kill him with the idea that they were proving their love by their death. Absolutely violent but not malicious in her mind.

[For thinking deeply about the mechanics of the Game you have received a point of WIS.]

Oliver frowned as that was not really a confirmation of his thoughts but you could not win everything. In the end, this particular mechanic while important did not really need this level of dissection and it was likely to tick off his patron if he kept it up. So he looked back at the sign as it updated now that he realized what the sign was trying to tell him.

Beyond the enemy status, you can learn more about your foes from the bars on top of their head. The red represents their total Life tally, since this creature is the same level as you can read their level but if a creature is a certain number of levels above you, information will be restricted. If the creature is massively above you in levels you will not even see a thing above their heads.

Okay, that was good to know. He was assuming that he would see question marks if he encountered a monster that was out of his league but this sign was telling him that the higher the level of disparity the less information he would get.

Again the text changed.

Now, it’s time to fight. You must eliminate your foe through any means you figure is appropriate. 

Oliver started blankly at the jack-in-the-box who was still stabbing the air with its cloth knife. He let out a sigh approached the thing and picked it up. While he did so the creature was finally able to stab its knife towards Oliver but the cloth knife proved ineffective against even his thin t-shirt.

The little guy just mashed its stuffed toy in Oliver’s chest trying it’s very best to kill him but that was not the role this toy got to play. So Oliver reached forward and gripped the doll and pulled it out of the box ‘killing’ his ultimate foe.

When he did so a panel on the roof opened up and confetti started raining from the ceiling. Followed by a banner unrolling and displaying a giant congratulations message.

More importantly, his System decided to pipe in again.

[Foe Slain 50 XP]

[Since Player Oliver Lamphier has not chosen a class the XP will be held until the first class is selected.]

That seemed like too much XP for bullying a small toy but maybe a part of this tutorial was to teach him about level-ups. Whatever he will get to it when it comes up.

Good! You have defeated your greatest foe! Now when you beat/kill an enemy you receive XP but the value of that XP is reduced when your level overwhelms the creature you are fighting eventually it will reach zero. In opposition to that if you fight a creature with higher levels you receive a boost in XP values.

Oliver let out a grimace but that was to be expected. If killing an enemy would produce XP no matter how low the level he could go around killing swarms of insects. That way he could massively level just from the small XP they would provide.

“Huh, never saw it like that I just wanted to mess around with you by making you fight stronger and stronger foes. You are a bit more interesting than I expected mortal.” The voice spoke out and Oliver ignored it with practiced ease. He never expected that he would grow used to ignoring voices in his head but he also never expected to have the Gamer so fair trade.

Now that you have dealt with your greatest foe it should be clear that you can not level unless you have a Class. So we will now open up that feature for the newbie adventurer! 

[Class Selection]

[Warrior] [Rogue] [Mage]

Well, that was a bit disappointing. The Gamer without Classes was a lot more broken but beggars can’t be choosers. It was also not like this would be too upsetting in the long haul.

Oliver looked over his options before crossing out Warrior and Rogue without much thought. Sure, he might be squishy but he was also not going to take massive risks for no god damn reason. There was also a part of him that just wanted to throw magic willy-nilly.

Which, should not be that upsetting to hear. This was MAGIC, who could give that up when presented with the option.

[Mage Tree Selected. Now Pick an apprenticeship.]

[Apprentice Conjurer 0/25] [Apprentice Evoker 0/25] [Apprentice Enchanter 0/25]

Well, that was not the choice he expected. He thought he would get Fire/Water/Air mage schools but this was both better and worse in some ways. While elemental schools would be more limiting it would allow a more powerful build while these classes were more spread out with spell work.

In addition to that since they were called Apprentice it was likely at even the highest level of 25 it would not be that impressive. Which was fine as he could take his time.

Now, what flavor of magic was he looking into? Enchanter was off from the get-go as most of those spells were meant to mess with people’s minds and that was not something that really meshed with him. Even if it would be useful for getting money, which should not really be a problem as The Gamer would provide with Dungeons.

So that left Evoker and Conjurer. Which was a more difficult call, both could do damage even if Evoker came up the clear winner there. Conjurer was a bit more versatile as it focused on summoning things, so he could pull creatures for scouting or to fight on his behalf. While Evoker would just throw fireballs as they are known to do.

Which really should have told him already where he was going to go. Damage was great but he would pick versatility here.

[Apprentice Conjurer Selected.]

[Spells learned Summon Familiar, Mage Hand, Sword Burst.]

[Perks learned Quick Cast, Familiar Bond.]

Okay, that was not exactly what he expected from the first level but he could work with it. Mage Hand was budget telekinesis and with elevated leveling, it would get better and better. Summon Familiar seemed like a one-off trick but if he could level it maybe he could have more than one. Finally, Sword Burst seemed like his only attack spell, and as far as he could tell it would be a good one if a bit indiscriminate in its nature.

Quick Cast let him cast all of his spells instantly instead of the various time lengths that different spells had. He was not sure if that was a perk with all Mage Apprenticeships or just for a Conjurer but it was really useful. At least Familiar Bond was clear about where it was supposed to reside.

Familiar Bond lets him communicate with his Familiar despite the differences in race. Beyond that, as the creature leveled as well he would share traits with it. Even a simple animal would offer him a great bonus as it leveled. Like the eyesight of a Hawk or the nimbleness of a squirrel.

“Setting your expectation pretty low on your familiar. Not too confident in your luck? Well, since you are the first and your insight has been surprising I’ll give you a hand and bump up the rank of whatever you pull out of the void. But you have to pull it now, I’m not waiting weeks for you to build up your LUK stat.” That voice spoke out and Oliver paused.

That was surprisingly helpful for the snarky and bored deity that had been watching him. Well it sucked that he could not build up his LUK and bump a Uncommon familiar to a Rare one but offers like that did not come up often.

Which was really helpful since he was not that confident in drawing a good Familiar. Getting ten Razors in a row was really haunting him for ages to come. Maybe he should do Monica’s bizarre ritual before summoning his familiar.

“You do that mortal and I take back my offer.” The voice snarked out and Oliver nodded simply abandoning the thought. He was not that serious about it in the first place as he knew her methods were mainly for her own amusement.

Oliver took a deep breath pulled into the void and summoned his familiar. He felt a tight tug on his gut that was painful at first but went into near deliberating as another energy connected to that tug.

Following that a green circle appeared in front of him where the Jack-In-The-Box resided before.

In the center of that circle, a small skulled head rose out of the ground. The skull was cracked but bright white elk. For a moment he thought he had summoned some sort of skeletal elk but the small figure rose completely out of the circle.

Standing on two feet with a body made out of sticks and moss was a creature of some sort. Humanoid in nature but off in a way that was disturbing despite its child-like figure. It looked like a nightmare baby with Baby Groot and a Cubone due to its Elk's head.

For a moment the creature started at him with disturbing clarity as if it was trying to decide if it wanted to crack his skull open. Thankfully that faded as the Familiar Bond fully formed but when it did he felt his heart skip a beat as he understood what was before him.

“For someone who was downplaying their luck so hard you managed to get a Rare Familiar all of your own. So I had to upgrade it to a fucking Epic. I’ll remember this Mortal for now be happy with your baby Leshy” The voice spoke out sourly and for a moment the awe he was facing as he recognized his familiar was washed away.

Getting his Patron on his bad side sucked but he did not expect his shit luck to finally get something good. The Leshy hosted a powerful regeneration as long as it was located in a forest or the wild. It could use illusions and command an entire forest to fight against you. Finally, it had the ability to summon and command all wildlife.

Any of those traits being shared with him would be fucking massive. Beyond that since his Familiar also had the Gamer the little guy could go well beyond its natural strength.

Truly it was an Epic Familiar.

Oliver picked up the nightmare baby with a bright smile on his face. Suddenly the disturbing mood he was getting from the creature was not a problem. He was willing to put up with the craziest shit if it meant having a great familiar and this one certainly applied to that.

The little guy tilted its head cutely before Oliver settled the small dude on his shoulder. Looking over at the sign to see what came next.

Since you have now chosen your class you are ready to face your greatest challenge yet!

With those words read a loud click sounded out and the door that remained closed since he arrived here swung open. Oliver took a look at it for a moment before heading towards the door to continue on.

He expected something different but on the other side of the door was just another room that looked exactly like the one he came from. Same purple walls, same raised platform, the same sign, and the same fucking Jack-In-The-Box sitting on it. This one was closed at least.

He looked over at the sign but sighed as it was about what he thought.

Behold your greatest foe reborn!

Oliver let out a sigh and approached the toy and picked it up. He was tempted to just kick the thing to get this over but he kind of wanted to pull the little sucker out of his box again. So he started twisting the lever on the side and playing Jack’s music.

If he was paying a bit more attention he would have noticed the fact that he could not see the LV, Health, or even the name of his enemy. He got lulled into a false sense of security and let it get to his head after he got an Epic Familiar.

So when the Jack opened up he was not prepared for it to blur into motion as it stabbed a very real knife into his chest this time. He could only stare numbly as the puppet laughed cruelly stabbing him over and over in the chest. Leshy not being able to do anything as it was flung across the room with an absent swing of its doll-like hand.

As he felt his blood run cold and the lights start fading from his eyes he could not help but laugh bitterly as the voice of his Patron rang out in his mind. 

“You seemed to really like those Soul Games, so I gave you a tutorial just like it. Next time pay attention, Mortal I did say that no lesson was not worth learning.” Those words sparked some hope in his chest but as the life was fading from his body he could not help but think his Patron was playing with him one final time.