literally what can we do

Hey friends,

Hope you’re all hanging in there (lol). I’ve spent the day alternately learning line dances and trying to figure out what’s going on with the government. Hard to know which one feels sillier. But hey, what else can you do?

Actually. Many people are asking. Let’s try to figure it out? (I entered journalism in the golden age of listicles so I started writing a list of Instructions but then I got itchy about making imperative statements so I took some of those out and just kept the explanations.)

1. Stay alive. This is obviously the biggest one. If you’re old enough to remember 9/11 (lmao), you may remember people saying that if we stayed at home and cowered in fear, the terrorists will have won. This was either a widely popular sentiment or something Ellen said once, I’m not really sure. Anyway, this is that but for transgender. You gotta outlive all these dumdum billionaires or they win!!!!! We’re stubborn motherfuckers and we’re gonna Outwit Outplay Outlast them together. (On a related note, Trans Lifeline now offers text-based crisis support.)

2. Recently, a white Gen Z baby trans I know was beating herself up for not updating her passport sooner. She wanted a passport in case she needed to flee the country. When I asked what country she planned to flee to, she said she had no idea, but felt it would be good “in case they make sodomy a crime or some shit.” Of course, sodomy was a crime here until 2003 — roughly the year she was born — and remains illegal in many countries around the world. “I think it’s reasonable to feel like things are going to get dicey,” I told her. “Just equally important to remember that things have been dicey before in our lifetimes and we got through with collective action and community care.”

There are trans and queer people alive today who having been marching in the streets since the '60s, who have been organizing with ACT UP in the ‘80s and ‘90s, who DIY’d their transition 20 or 50 or 100 years ago. [Edit: okay the ones from 100 years ago aren't alive anymore, the sentence got away from me.] We are not the first queer people to experience adversity and discrimination. What can we learn from our friends and elders? What strength can we draw from our ancestors?

3. It’s genuinely so hard to know what’s going on right now! Mostly because the journalism industry has been systemically decimated by very wealthy people for decades, presumably for some money laundering reason, but also because it makes it easier to do crimes when nobody can report on the crimes. Here are a few things we do know:

• DO NOT attempt to update your passport! You may lose all your ID docs indefinitely.

• You cannot update your gender on your Social Security either. (Luckily, this will not be relevant to many of us because SS will collapse in our lifetimes! But I recognize that some of us are using SS benefits right now.)

• State and local IDs are currently still modifiable (to the extent that they were last year). The Trans Lifeline database hasn’t been updated in a while but it’s still a good place to start. If you’re planning to fly on a plane soon and don’t have a passport, get a Real ID as soon as you can imho.

• When choosing an ID gender marker, remember that the safest option is usually whatever you "pass" best as, not what feels most affirming to you.

• While some hospitals are dropping trans kids as patients, many are not. If you or someone you know needs access to gender-related care, remember that 1) you can try a different hospital/provider 2) Many HRT providers are available online 3) Estrogen is not a federally controlled substance 4) Cis patients can often access the same medication (including puberty blockers) for cis reasons. What are the cis reasons? Maybe you or your kid have that same problem!

4. If you want to do prepping, listen to Margaret Killjoy about it. I play fast and loose with this one because I live across the street from the grocery store and for some reason that makes me feel like my house IS the grocery store, which by the way isn’t true? But being prepared for supply chain issues can’t hurt, and also I think she’s right about this: “agency is, essentially, the opposite of trauma. creating plans and taking steps towards those plans is, in some ways, more important than actually succeeding at those plans. always be trying.”

5. There is a specific type of white trans person the US who reacts very strongly to Trans Oppression because they have more or less never experienced oppression before. And yeah…. It’s bad! It feels bad to be viewed as nonhuman by your neighbors, by institutions, by a very rich and powerful guy who got dumped for Chelsea Manning and decided to make it your problem. It's okay to need extra support in These Trying Times.

And yet! It is impossible to build coalitions with other people when we are singularly obsessed with ourselves. (I will continue pointing back to Lesbians & Gays Support the Miners as a beautiful example of how this can go well.) Migrants and their children, Indigenous people, scientists, teachers and students of color, federal employees, anyone who flies on planes, anyone at risk of HIV around the globe, really anyone receiving US-funded lifesaving humanitarian aid around the world, anyone who wants to not get, like, whooping cough… What I’m trying to say is that many many people are at risk right now. Let’s remember to show up for other people if we want them to show up for us. Golden rule-style.

By the way, that’s not even to mention people in Gaza and other parts of the world who are surviving literal actual genocides at this very moment. Did you hear that the Rafah Crossing has reopened??? It’s a really good time to throw extra money at GoFundMes for folks in Gaza, whether they’re crossing into Egypt or working to rebuild their lives. Let me know if you need help finding folks to support.

Okay well I could keep going, but five seems like a manageable number for now. If you need a sixth thing to do… I guess come hang out with us on the west coast next week? Unhinged timing but also, again, I cannot stress enough, what else are we gonna do.

That’s it for this week. Back to your regularly scheduled newsletter next week, although I will be on tour so actually maybe not. Here’s your Weekly Rhubarb.

Image: Ruby laying on her cat tree, watching a YouTube video so that she can learn a new line dance.

Xo,

Yr resident gender detective

PS: This post is public so feel free to share if you're so inclined.