Mckenzee Griffler! Bonus advice? Spiraling out?! Kittens!!!!

Hey friends,

Hope you’re all hanging in there. I know I’m always like “I feel like we’re in an extra weird section of the Weird Times” but I do feel that way. I can’t stop looking at this line?!?

Photo ID: a graph of covid cases in New York City since the start of the pandemic. The line peaks around 10K cases in spring 2020 and then ~17K cases in winter 2020-2021, before dipping back down and then sprinting straight up, fully off the graph, to something like 40K cases right now. 

Anyway, this week on the show, we’ve got Mckenzee Griffler back on the show to fill us in on her ~*~fun new gender~*~ before tackling eleven listener questions! Topics include coming out at work (or not), exploring queerness as a demisexual, and accepting that we can’t control the way that other people perceive us (booooo).

I asked Mckenzee to send me some photos to use to promote the show and she included this very very very good photo of her doing theater as a child and being very happy to dress up like a girl for Some Normal Reason!!!!!! I love this trans baby and would die for her!!!!! 

As I mentioned on the show, we’ve got 29 pages of q’s where that came from, so I thought I should answer a few extra bonus questions just for y’all patrons. But I just scrolled through the 100+ questions, and tbh, most of them are fairly overwhelming. I think the main issue is that “advice,” at least in my experience, involves a lot of listening and affirming and asking clarifying questions to guide a person to what they actually want and need. But I can’t ask questions to whomstever submitted the questions, so I’ll get something like:

• “What are your suggestions on how to figure out my identity and just accept myself?”
  
• “Do you have any tips for being brave about coming out or transitioning or feeling secure in your identity despite other people not accepting it, not being able to tell them, or just being scared?”
  
• “Do you have any advice on how to explore my gender more thoughtfully while sitting with my own privilege?”
  
• “How do I know if T could be the right option for me?”
  
• “Any advice for socially changing your name?”
  
• “What do femme and masc even mean, really?”

And I’m just supposed to???? Answer????? I’m not complaining — I’m frankly honored and amazed that anyone would want my advice on anything — I just don’t think this is how useful advice works. (And also, the answer to most of these is “fuck around and find out” and I don’t want to step on Mattie’s entire thing.)

Anyway, thanks for being here and supporting the show and creating spaces for us to attempt to have these big conversations, even when they’re hard. It really does mean the world to me. (Tbh, I’m having a Time in my Brain because it’s the end of the year and Media Types are putting out their best-podcasts-of-the-year lists and we have still never been mentioned in lists of Podcasts that are Good, only Podcasts that are Trans, and maybe that’s because of transphobia or maybe it’s because the show is bad and it’s truly impossible to ever know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I really appreciate you listening and helping us keep the show going, despite podcast quality and pandemic and community discourse and transphobia and impending societal collapse and also the tiny isolation-induced meltdown that I seem to be having in this moment.)

Oh hey, speaking of support— I got some more postcards and cards from y’all and they all made me VERY very happy. Thank you so much :))))))))

Photo ID: 7 cards and postcards, including a postcard that says "concentration of power is the problem; redistribution of power is the solution," a postcard of cats having a birthday party; a postcard with an illustration of an owl; a card with another illustration of an owl but this one has a tiny black kitten on its back; a postcard with an illo of rooftops filled with black cats; a card with a cupcake that has a mermaid tail sticking out of it; and a postcard that says "heteronormativity is a cult." Phew. 

Next week on the show, we’ve got organizer and 8 to Abolition co-founder K. Agbebiyi! We covered a lot of ground in our chat and I’m excited for you to hear it all.

OK, I think I should stop talking now. Here’s your weekly Rhubarb.

Photo ID: Ruby the cat cuddled up on a pile of blankets.

Mckenzee also has a new kitten named Artichoke and it’s important to me that you know that.

Photo ID: Mckenzee holding a tiny fluffy orange kitten on her lap.

Xo,

Yr resident gender detective

PS: We announced all of the grant winners on our website! You can see their names here. We’ll also post them all on instagram soon/someday.

PPS: Producer Jules made this really important meme based off a moment in this week’s episode and I wanted y’all to see it first.

Photo ID: The cereal box that says "Oops! All Berries" except it's been edited to remove the Cap'n and say "Oops! All nonbinary friends."