Cat hugs, ACAB, queer dating and more.

Friends! Today is a magical day. The sun is out! The Met Gala is happening! I met the friendliest cat on earth! And I got to yell "FUCK THE COPS MY DUDE" while biking away from an old man who had been harassing me! Late spring is truly wild. 

Let's unpack all of those things, one by one. (Minus the cop thing—you just have to imagine that one.) But first, a podcast update! Last week, I had the pleasure of interviewing Thurst creator Morgen Bromell about queer dating, intersectional dating apps, being a Black nonbinary person in tech, and so much more. They're so smart and thoughtful and good and I can't wait for you to hear them! 

Meanwhile, it's the Met Gala, and some of the looks were very good and gendery. Which were your favorites? 

Also, as previously mentioned, I met the friendliest cat in the entire world today! I sat down and they jumped into my lap and started rubbing against my face and I was sobbing internally. I would never share these terrible mid-run photos of me except that you need to see this CAT!

They GAVE ME A HUG do you UNDERSTAND. {yes, my shirt does say Pizza Against the Patriarchy, thanks for noticing!} 

Speaking of cats, my roommates brought me elote and I fed it to our cat and now I'm going to use this Huji photo for every bio/dating app ever.

In other news, I'm scheduled to appear on a straight(?!) dating podcast(?!?) in a couple days, and the pre-interview got me thinking about how the best parts about queer dating are also the worst parts about queer dating. Figuring out your mutual friends/exes/dates; trying to determine whether you're on a date or a platonic hang (it's impossible to know for sure! even if you ask!); comparing natal charts and traumas; over-processing; hooking up with your friends; navigating breakups in a small and very interconnected scenes; accidentally dating the same person as your therapist — it's all great and terrible! What are your favorite/least favorite parts about queer dating? Tell me on Twitter or right here! 

On a somber note, I wanted to bring attention to the fact that May 5 was the National Day of Awareness for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women (#MMIW). Please take a few minutes to educate yourself on this issue and donate to folks doing important work in this area. 

There are many other things to be somber about, but I won't go into them here because we already know that it's tough and terrifying to be a (trans) person in the world. Instead, I think you would appreciate this absolutely 100% true tweet.

That's all for now. I'm flying to Chicago next Monday for an audio residency, so I might not be able to send a newsletter. If I miss it, just know that I love you very much and I'm very happy that you're alive on the planet. 

xo,
Yr resident gender detective.