Daddy issues
Added 2023-11-04 22:23:08 +0000 UTCSo I recently ended my relationship. It’s been the hardest departure since ending things with my child’s father. Letting go and accepting what is has been painful and wanting to indulge in toxic behaviors almost felt better than choosing my own peace. During the span of this union I learned a lot about my triggers as well as this cycle I’ve been in as it pertains to the men I choose. Emotionally unavailabile men. Men whose attention I have to earn. A little or a lot of rough around the edges. This person I still love deeply and we did share something special but it was not sustainable based in various factors. However, the biggest realization was that my relationship with my father still correlates to my romantic life. If you read our book I talk at length about my relationship with my dad how I’ve been able to forgive him and let shit go. I even share an excercise that really helped release that hurt and pain. So I thought, okay that’s done. We’re good. But when I finally decided to start the process of detaching from my lover I felt called to reach out to one of my spirtual teachers and guides and she put some things in perspective for me. I told resisted and told her that Injas forgiven him and that I didn’t have any resentment anymore. She simply said, okay. How about we just look at Irie as an opportunity to investigate the relationship further. Then she have me and assignment. When she assigned it I broke down in tears which confirmed for me that there was still more work to do.
Today that assignment begins. She told me that she wants my father and I to go on a trip together alone. Somewhere we’ve both never been. That he has to plan it from start to finish and treat me like his baby and only child. Whewwwwww! Naw y’all see why I broke down? The little girl in me never got this so the adult is nervous AF. Well I told him about this assignment and he said let’s do it. Today we head to Solvang, Ca. A small town I’ve heard of but never thought to go to. I don’t have any expectations (or at least trying not to) and am going to just let it flow.
Send good vibes Tribe.
