What would you like to see me do better?
Added 2025-01-16 18:32:52 +0000 UTCHey guys! This is kinda a bit outside my normal posts, but I think this is the best place to ask since you're all on the front of liking my stuff :D I always want to improve, and I feel like today is a good day to take criticism (so please dont hold back) :D So basically, what do you guys think is my weakest point in art? Or what should I focus on (in your opinion) to make my art better/more attractive/hotter etc? Obviously you all have biases, some of you like bubbles (you know who you are :D), some just like to see drowned girls. But if you look more objectively at my comics, what areas do you think are the weakest? Or what is really good, but would be even better if I improved it in my style? Personally I feel like I'm super bad at rendering, especially backgrounds. Without context now and then, I think none would know that the entirity of the Kurumi sidestory happens in a tub ^^ So thank you guys for your great imagination, saving me the work of drawing a detailed tub over and over :D
Comments
I can atleast promise you she will drown when I come back to the series ;) Whether she will be saved...I'm not sure
Marima
2025-01-24 21:15:04 +0000 UTCI hope that girl drown, and someone rescues her. Personally, I don’t prefer character’s death in underwater.
Bfrost
2025-01-24 07:38:46 +0000 UTCThanks for being a fan! No plans for that at the moment, but who knows sometime in the future ;) What would you like to see happen in that one?
Marima
2025-01-23 12:49:34 +0000 UTCHello, I am your fan. I'm always watching the arts that you upload. Especially, I liked underwater streamer fanart. So I hope Underwater Streamer’s ending.
Bfrost
2025-01-23 03:05:17 +0000 UTCYes, the third one
PI Man
2025-01-19 14:57:01 +0000 UTCGotcha! I'll keep that in mind. I'm fan of closeups (especially drowned face closeups) myself, I just felt like most people prefer full body
Marima
2025-01-18 10:46:53 +0000 UTCI meant that, yeah. You already do a fantastic job as is, but on a few occasions a close-up would be pretty cute. But that's just me. Hehe
Nicegroundhog60
2025-01-18 01:27:16 +0000 UTCThanks! I thought I already did that? or do you mean even closer?
Marima
2025-01-17 17:03:40 +0000 UTCI don't know a lot as you already do brilliant as is. The art is good, the visuals and pace is good, I guess my only thing is when a girl drowns/blacks out, if there could be a shot where we can easily see their facial expression(s)? Basically a bit more of a close-up of the girl because seeing them like that is cute. But other than that, you do great already. 👍
Nicegroundhog60
2025-01-17 16:15:40 +0000 UTCYesss I need to get better at backgrounds. I find myself dodging certain underwater scenarios because im terrible at it ^^ I'll try to make my girls suffer for longer :D
Marima
2025-01-17 15:37:31 +0000 UTCOhh yeah you got a point! guess I should organize the tags better
Marima
2025-01-17 15:35:43 +0000 UTCThe third one?
Marima
2025-01-17 15:34:06 +0000 UTCumm I think if you put some tag on old post, It will be easy to find It’s alway take some time to find it
預言
2025-01-17 15:27:09 +0000 UTCTwo of the things that I would like to see more is first to have more enviroments with the backgrounds. Like being around or in a ship wreck or underwater cave. And secondly I would like to see longer breath holds or rather more panels which focus on their characters. As sometimes I feel like they drown a bit too quickly and I just wanna see them suffer without air for a bit longer ^^
delta
2025-01-17 15:23:09 +0000 UTCI've only seen this drawn once and would absolutely love to see your take on it.
PI Man
2025-01-17 15:01:12 +0000 UTCHmm, could you give me an example? :D
Marima
2025-01-17 10:24:40 +0000 UTCi feel that the character's movements in the two comic frames are not continuous, or rather, the gap is a bit large. just my personally opinion
MLmuw
2025-01-17 10:09:09 +0000 UTCAnd then a number 3 I've been working a bit on that I think can be hot 3. * You hold your breath past your limit * start inhaling a bunch, manages to barely surface again before passing out * coughing up a lot of water while struggling to not lose conciousness and dipping under water again as your system is kinda clogged and your body doesn't work properly * Maybe even passing out from the drowning after reaching the surface since your body didn't manage to cough up the water
Marima
2025-01-17 10:02:10 +0000 UTCOoo I see. Yeah I can see the appeal of that! I've tried making the drowning itself (inhaling) last longer, but I can also focus on making the struggle before it longer aswell. My problem with mmd's (aaa's) is that it can sometimes be a bit confusing to tell what's going on. Are they inhaling right now or are they just struggling to hold their breath still? Seems to be a switch that goes on and off kinda inconsistently. And then they recover by themself from just being above water, which kinda kills the immersion for me. Personally I base my comics on 2 directions from what I know of how drowning works, which is probably a more realistic take 1. you hold your breath until the lack of oxygen makes you pass out (with no inhaling prior to it) 2. You hold your breath until your body forces you to breathe, making you inhale water and eventually pass out from it
Marima
2025-01-17 09:56:10 +0000 UTCThanks! Yeah more panic and peril before drowning generally seems to be a thing people want more of, I'll work on that ^^
Marima
2025-01-17 09:46:53 +0000 UTCI would say everything are masterpieces, but just honestly as some people would said, pre-drowning part is more exciting than actually drowned part. I mean, the part after reaching limit, bubble start coming out and just before drowning and blackout. Maybe we can have some settings on extreme breath holdings (just some random plot, after reaches limit and bubble comes out, just before drowning they are able to come out from water), so it can be focus on the pre-drowning part (I would say MMDs from underwater mmd could be an example?).
hyperfire
2025-01-17 09:06:05 +0000 UTCI never counted it since sometimes I procrastinate, but it's around a page a day, and it's black and white... colored maybe will took 3 days
Rou
2025-01-17 06:37:00 +0000 UTCMeant to say "paced" not packed, oops.
Nerine (fltwad)
2025-01-17 04:36:56 +0000 UTCHonestly I think you do terrific overall, your art is extremely good and you seem to get better with each drawing. I wish I knew more about art from a technical standpoint to really offer valuable feedback, but writing is more my expertise. I think your longer form works (comics etc) flow well and are packed well enough to help us learn and enjoy the characters beyond just watching them drown, consensual or not. As others have stated I tend to be more of a pure peril fan (non-consensual/horny drowning, swimsuits, all that) but I've been enjoying lewder things lately and you really nail it, so no complaints. If anything I'd like to see more emphasis on the actual drowning or panic before water inhalation, just drawn out a bit more? But that's more a suggestion than feedback. That's all I got I suppose! Keep doing your thing, and please take care of yourself! Never hurts to take a break now and then.
Nerine (fltwad)
2025-01-17 04:35:44 +0000 UTC:D Can I ask, how long do you spend on 1 comic page? From idea to completion. If it's private then ignore this ^^
Marima
2025-01-17 02:08:07 +0000 UTCNo, please don't reference me, your art will get bad from it XD Well the coloring is just...soooo...hard.... I feel like I'm clueless 90% of the time, and 10% of the time I'm just lucky in hitting a good palette and I use that 10% for the entire comic xD (I think I can tell when something looks good though which is a advantage). I know I should study color theory and composition, I just dont know where to start I wish I saw what you saw in my comic art, but I definitely cheat and cut corners...a lot :D If you ever make an art course I'll be the first in line ^^
Marima
2025-01-17 02:02:38 +0000 UTCI'm too used to drawing full illustrations, i still have problems to hold back from drawing too much "unnecessary" details in one panel. （＞人＜；）
Rou
2025-01-17 01:41:21 +0000 UTCyeah im gonna love that :D
Jateku
2025-01-17 01:39:40 +0000 UTCsenpaii I'm just a commoner! xD for improvement, I kinda see how you're becoming more confident with the color even if I can see you're still experimenting with style, but you already grasped some of the basics. the rest will just to let you get used to control more composition. also, you've already improved a lot on my weakness... the interaction poses... somehow you managed to find some tricks to make it simple but still shows interaction. from what I see more like you're getting used to drawing comics now, you know how to cut corners but still managed to tell that much story.(the key to draw manga is how to cut corner and still delivering quality) keep improving! I'll make you one of my senpais as comic reference artist! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
Rou
2025-01-17 01:39:13 +0000 UTC:D Thanks! Yeah I still wanna improve on making both the pre-drowning and drowning process longer. That's the hot part to me afterall ^^ I will be making more variety in the future (prob not shipwreck but more deep water stuff). And Kurusakimaki will have a deep pool if that counts :D
Marima
2025-01-17 01:23:24 +0000 UTCThanks! You know, it's a bit up and down. Some days I have no idea what I'm doing, hate my art and question everything. Other days I love my art, and love drawing. But the feeling that is always constant, is that anime girls willingly drowning themself is the hottest thing in the world to me. And as long as this is true, I'm enjoying myself. And the fact that so many others enjoy what I enjoy creating, is super awesome.
Marima
2025-01-17 01:20:05 +0000 UTCOh my, I have been blessed with feedback from the great Rou! :D It's a complicated topic, but you're pretty much nail on the head ^^. I always feel rushed and impatient when drawing comics, and I never feel rushed with single images. I think it's because as you say, there is no "next page/panel" after, so it feels okay to just sit and make it the best it can be since it ends there. But with comics, the page/panel I'm working on is one of many, so it feels a bit of a waste of time to add details since most people will read it in context with other pages anyway. I honestly don't feel like I'm that much if any better at art since Ayaka bet, but I guess that's just classic artist frustration ^^ I'm curious though, what do you mean with improved quality? Character art? Consistency? And I feel very honored that you like my art :D I didn't know uw was a thing until I stumbled on your art, which eventually led to me starting myself :D
Marima
2025-01-17 01:10:24 +0000 UTCI don’t know enough to comment on the technical aspects of your art. As for the content, I’m perfectly happy seeing girls who actually want to drown. I just hope you’re still enjoying yourself.
qua113
2025-01-17 00:21:50 +0000 UTCso far I have followed your art since Lumine and Ayaka... I thought you gradually felt a bit rushed towards your next art.. and it was a little bit sloppy... but since you keep improving the quality over time until now... so I guess it's just your process of adapting and learning. if I can relate to myself, I do have that feeling of impatience when drawing comics... It has a very different feeling when drawing full illustration... in full illustration mode you can fill in some details and tell your story through any piece of detail you add in the illustration, but in manga, you hold back, cut the details, and tell the story in a completely new drawing at the next panel. somehow it kinda made me a bit awkward and impatient. I don't know if you can relate to that feeling, but you're doing a good job of improving your art quality. []~(￣▽￣)~*
Rou
2025-01-16 23:56:22 +0000 UTCor maybe deep under the sea like in summer bliss
Jateku
2025-01-16 23:12:48 +0000 UTCbut seriously your art is fantastic and the only improvement I’d make is more focus on the pre-drowning part(the bubbles, the inhaling, the pleasure(if that’s what the story requires), among other things, but otherwise, your art is fantastic! Oh also, maybe some new settings, like the three girls drowning in an abandoned shipwreck or underwater maze or stuff like that
Jateku
2025-01-16 23:07:39 +0000 UTCyou’re calling me out HAHAHAH
Jateku
2025-01-16 23:05:05 +0000 UTCI guess being lazy worked out fine then xD Well tbf it's less lazy and more "I have no clue how to make stuff look like stuff"
Marima
2025-01-16 23:00:24 +0000 UTCOoo nice analysis! I'm happy that my Herta stood out. I'm always trying to get the anime face shape right but it's really hard ^^ When it's done right I think it's super pretty. I still think The Herta illustration is a bit lacking to me personally, the face is a bit off ^^ But yeah, definitely agree that I should mess more with the lighting. I just get lazy with it
Marima
2025-01-16 22:55:16 +0000 UTCOn the topic of your comments about rendering backgrounds in the Kurumi sidestory, I actually like that about your art. The fact that a small little tub looks like a much larger volume of water is less of our outside perspective of the scene and more like forcing the perspective of the characters upon us. It comes off less as two girls doing some yuri breathplay in the tub and more like two lovers giving their whole selves to one another in a blissfully hostile place that denies them even a breath of air. In a place like this, there's nothing else in the world that matters: just them. Rendering the full context of the scene might be an important focus in another story setting where intervals between breaths is a plot element, where the character is hyper-aware of their peril and desperation for a breath, but in this story setting it worked perfectly. Another example where that worked was the Summer Bliss comic where it was pretty unclear just how deep the lovers were.
beh123234
2025-01-16 20:50:57 +0000 UTCNever noticed the "same face syndrome" until you mentioned it here, but yeah, I can see that now. One piece that I knew stood out from the rest but hasn't occurred to me exactly why yet was The Herta you posted on the 5th. Technically there's nothing different about her face from the rest of your work; the silhouette and face layout are the same; but the lighting on the face makes her look completely different. The ray of light on her cheek kinda implies that her cheekbones are higher and more pronounced than your other characters, so that even when there's no specific distinguishing details on the cheeks, she looks like a totally different person despite having the same general face shape. Stuff like that is hard to do in the anime-adjacent comic style that you normally do (don't have much advice there since I'm not an artist), but for one-off pieces or short runs, fiddling with the lighting seems to make all the difference.
beh123234
2025-01-16 20:41:05 +0000 UTCGotcha! Yeah I just love sexual stuff underwater, it's hard not to do it actually ... ^^ Sparkle is also my favorite drawing I've done! It's just that drowning stuff has a stronger audience (atleast that's what I feel like), then creative underwater illustrations
Marima
2025-01-16 20:33:56 +0000 UTCWhat do you mean?
Marima
2025-01-16 20:30:46 +0000 UTCI personally think, might be the coherence of the character movements?🤔
MLmuw
2025-01-16 20:08:47 +0000 UTCIt is my personal bias to not really enjoy nudity and lewd stuff, but your art has such good appeal on the stuff I do still like (expressions, bubbles, effects, poses, etc) that I can still like what you put out, but I would love some more underwater content focused solely on the peril and without any of that stuff! Some underwater exploration stuff or any other kind of scenario that focuses on the peril of just being lost underwater without access to air and the buildup to the drowning without these sexual aspects, your Sparkle pic is still my favorite piece you put out and wish more of your content was like it sometimes. On a less personal note, I think opening commissions might also be a nice way to gauge some more of the audience preferences, while also getting extra support from doing so!
yeecaruw
2025-01-16 19:45:33 +0000 UTCBut my art definitely has the same face syndrome ^^ I'm not sure how to get past that since when I try to make their faces unique, my brain just tells me the face is off
Marima
2025-01-16 19:17:02 +0000 UTCI agree! Swimsuits add a lot, and that's definitely something I wanna include a lot in the new one (Kurusakimaki). I also think the girls (so far in my sketch) have much stronger personalities, so it's easier to tell who's who :) I usually only do fanart from games I play (since the game is what inspires the art), and the only game I play right now is honkai starrail, so that's the reason I usually only do fanart of starrail girls. Thanks!
Marima
2025-01-16 19:13:34 +0000 UTCThis might sound weird, but personally? I wouldn't mind seeing some non-lewd underwater stuff, where the girls are just swimming (or drowning) in normal swimsuits every now and then. Swimsuits can do a lot to add variety to the characters and their appearance, since if everyone's nude all we have to tell who's who are hair and faces (and chest size of course). Maybe some fanart from other shows/games too? Unless you don't do that here for personal reasons, which is understandable. Otherwise, keep being awesome!
Joey245
2025-01-16 19:03:40 +0000 UTCHaha thanks! Kurumi will get plenty of focus in the new one :D
Marima
2025-01-16 19:02:14 +0000 UTCI am here for the drowning content, and don't have many gripes. Honestly wanna compliment you on the details you put into the drowning scenes. The only gripe I have so far is that Kurumi goes out too quickly, can't wait to see more of her in the teased comic! Keep doing you, sorry for not offering a criticism, but rather a praise <3
Hagane Miku
2025-01-16 19:01:07 +0000 UTCThanks! I do take plenty of breaks, even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes ^^
Marima
2025-01-16 18:59:13 +0000 UTCI really can't think of any weak points here. I really tried. I guess, keep up the good work and don't forget to take a break if you need to.
Michael
2025-01-16 18:58:11 +0000 UTCGotcha, will do!
Marima
2025-01-16 18:55:20 +0000 UTCI'm working on something pretty dark actually :)
Marima
2025-01-16 18:54:34 +0000 UTCA dark scenario here and there would spice things up otherwise I like what u make
shina
2025-01-16 18:52:10 +0000 UTCI think the artwork is really unique and nice, the stories are really strong lately, esp the Kurumi ones. IMO the only real suggest I have is perhaps a more organised folder for the Monthly Subscriptions, or maybe even a master folder overall for the fully completed comics. It can be a bit difficult trying to find the fully completed comics sometimes (esp since the normal WIPs and the full Comics are in the same "Posts" sections). Other than that, keep up the amazing work ^.^
yamai
2025-01-16 18:49:10 +0000 UTC
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