Red Web

[Classified] Sippy Cup of Knowledge PRO

Added 2025-05-23 17:13:36 +0000 UTC

TASK FORCE AGENCY
Office of Internal Intelligence

☐ Declassify
☒ Restricted Disclosure
☐ Archival

Over the years we have been in search of a container that allows Alfredo to both hold and sip on knowledge as it is given out. We are proud to reveal that, after months of research and development, our scientists have developed the perfect vessel.

Introducing the Sippy Cup of Knowledge PRO

Coming June 2, we will be launching this revolutionary new module for drinkable knowledge in celebration of our 1 year Indie-versary!

We even got a link just for it: http://sippycup.pro (it's real!)

The Sippy Cup PRO™ is designed to be the perfect drinking cup be being... a cup! It comes loaded with new features that the old model greatly lacked:

Fits a standard cup-holder
Insulated for maximum temperature control
Won't get funny looks in the workplace
Can't roll away in a strong breeze
Can't sell out*

As a thank you for your direct support, you're getting a sneak peak here FIRST! The world will hear about this in Monday's episode. And hey! Maybe come back by around May 31. Our inventory is managed by 3 hamsters, a broken filing cabinet, and a stick of gum... errors could happen in your favor?

*The old one sold out in 30 minutes. This one should be impossible to sell out.

Thank you!
- Task Force HQ ❤️🕸️