On the Scene with Enjoying Sandwiches

Premise: Wendel just wants something to eat while in search of his next news story. Turns out you shouldn't aggravate an already disgruntled food worker in the process.

Contains: Male rabbit to female fox TFTG. Annoying misfortunes, size difference, full body sittings, and a sever inability to enjoy a sandwich.

---

May the gods bless the person that invented lunch. Any excuse to escape the tedium of daily work felt great when combined with the satisfaction of consuming nourishment. Besides, it was a slow news day. Washington days were getting too cold and short for anyone to do anything of interest, much less something phenomenal. It was all people could do to manage juggling the holidays while earning a living.

Wendel was all too happy to slip inside a Subway for the sake of doing something constructive. The brown spotted bunny had his thoughts in a jumble looking for any kind of big scoop. Weeks had passed since the last big disaster, where a goat demi-god from an alternate dimension transformed a football game into, literal, sheep women for an army of conquest. That didn’t pan out, but the fabric industry saw a promising uptick in employment for the blanket season.

Where was a fifty-foot anthro monster to terrorize the bays when you needed one? Seattle was overdue for another giant disaster. Any more fluff pieces about cryptids and Wendel worried his website would get too boring and fade into obscurity.

“WELCOME TO SUBWAY!” The voice boomed so suddenly and with the thunderous vibration of a megaphone, Wendel nearly lost his shoes, jumping two feet into the air. He clutched at his heart, taking several deep breaths, glaring pure hatred at the bearded old man staffing the counter. They looked back with a beaming smile and empty hands. Long rabbit ears perked slightly, noting there wasn’t any sign of amplifying equipment anywhere. In fact, this employee spoke and acted casually. “I AM WIZZO THE WIZARD, CONJURER OF MANY MAGIC WONDERS AND FINE CUISINE! HOW MAY I HELP YOU!?”

Wendel’s ears whipped back, throbbing painfully from each syllable. It was like this man's voice was coming from everywhere around them except his own mouth. Oh, boy! It was going to be one of those ‘careful what you wish for’ days. The bunny felt it in his still frantically throbbing chest. His muzzle lifted into a half-hearted smile back, barely revealing some of his large incisors. “Er, sure. Can I get a foot long cold cut combo, please?”

“YES, SIR! WHAT KIND OF BREAD WOULD YOU LIKE!?”

“Argh!” So many vibrations assaulting Wendel’s physical being at once became too much for polite customer manners. He grabbed at his ears, trying desperately to muffle the sounds, as his smile twisted into an angry snarl. “Fuck! Just give me Italian. Why do you talk like that?”

“I WAS EATEN BY A DRAGON IN MY YOUTH!” Wizzo replied as he turned to fetch a bread loaf out of the holding cabinet. The supposed wizard had changed his expression, too. Eyes seemed to stare vacantly past the bunny into an abyss of untold tortures that leave a man forever scarred. “WOULD YOU LIKE CHEESE WITH THAT!?”

“Yeah! Sure! Whatever! Just stop talking.” Wendel’s eyes watered as he wondered how this lunatic stayed employed with such unearthly vocals. They could at least put up dampeners for the acoustics or something. It took whatever joy he could have gained making a sandwich by demanding everything in the hopes Wizzo never spoke from his flapping beard ever again.

“WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEAVE A TIP?”

That wish proved short-lived upon having his order wrung up, and with a question that really pulled Wendel’s stubby tail. He was already half a mind to demand this lunch for free as compensation for his broken eardrums. The other half couldn’t stop rattling against his skull.

“Do I look like I can afford to pay your hourly wage? Not that you deserve it screaming like a shorted stereo amplifier.”

Wizzo’s smile never faltered, but his fuzzy white eyebrows narrowed. There was a twinkle in those eyes that Wendel knew from experience probably meant devious thoughts. “SIR! I MAY BE A WIZARD OF GREAT MAGICAL MIGHT BUT EVEN MAGIC CAN NOT HEAL THE WORST OF AFFLICTIONS…”

“Please,” Wendel begged, no longer caring about anything except making this agonizing moment in his life end. “Just give me my receipt and let me enjoy some food.”

“AS YOU WISH!” A debit card was processed and passed back to the bunny writhing on wobbling legs. “BE WARNED, HOWEVER, THAT FOR THIS INSULT I WILL CURSE YOUR SANDWICH SO THAT YOU CAN NEVER ENJOY A SINGLE…”

The shop's front door slammed with no trace of Wendel in sight. Wizzo stared out through the front windows with a deep sigh now that he was alone again. One wrinkled hand waved through the air, wiggling its fingers with a bright green glow.

Wendel was too busy fleeing the scene to notice the same energy encompassing his newly gained sandwich bag. By the time he stopped at a crosswalk heaving for breath, the magic dissipated. It’s ominous work complete.

“Why can’t this city ever be normal?” he mumbled, vision still blurry from the vibrations rattling his brain around its skull casing. Things slowly got better as the bunny crossed between traffic, narrowly missing a deep pool of water against the opposing sidewalk. He flopped down for a brief rest at a bus stop bench. The pains inflicted by that crazy man’s impressive vocals faded entirely with his stomach, giving a reminder of why he made such a transaction to begin with. “Oh well! A nibble before we get home can’t hurt.”

Wendel pulled one of the two sandwich halves out of its plastic bag, wasting no time tearing off its paper wrapping at one end. Processed meats weren’t his favorite foods, but chomping into some fresh veggies and a tasty vinaigrette dressing helped make the bland, salty taste bearable.

No sooner did he swallow the first bite than alarm sirens sent him flying off the uncomfortable metal seat. Wendel toppled in a heap on the sidewalk as a fire truck roared by. Its massive size and speed blasted right through the collected rainwater, giving him an unwelcome shower on their way to whatever situation dictated such urgency.

There would have been a string of curses following the abrupt disturbance of a typical city day, were Wendel still not struggling to get his food down or up, whichever came first. After a bit of effort, he finally cleared his esophagus enough for a deep breath and rolled onto his knees. Cold water soaked the entire back of his shirt, leaving an endless chill against the bunny’s spine. Each littler shiver caused his shoulders to pulse and contracted in on themselves, becoming less supporting of the fabric clinging to their rounding edge.

The shock of another stupid loud noise still overpowered most of Wendel’s awareness, except for the complete lack of help from the occasional pedestrian walking by. Shaking excess liquid off one hand, he passed it in a single motion over his face and through his hair to ring out some more. That got a few odd looks as the motion stretched the shortcut locks several inches until they draped upon the bunny’s slender shoulders. The fact its dark brown pigment brightened to an aqua blue at the same time convinced common people this was an affair not worth getting involved in.

Wendel hoisted himself back onto both feet, more grumpy about the waterlogged sandwich in his other hand than suddenly sporting an anime-style hairdo. At least the wrapper was waxed, so the damage was minimal. He sat back down for another pair of hefty bites without hesitation. It’d take a lot more than soggy bread for him to give up a paid meal. Mother didn’t raise a squanderer.

“SQUAWK!”

“Aah!” Granted, Wendel could have used a few more life lessons about vigilance. He got only a couple seconds to start considering how the tangy spice of his meal was still pretty good, only for a blur of white to yank the remaining portion out of his relaxed, elegantly thinning fingers. An impressive aerial dive even for a starving seagull. “Oh, you son of a…”

Pure bubbling fury overtook Wendel’s reason at that point. That’d be his only excuse for leaping off the bench in pursuit of a stupid bird. Renewed energy flooded through his body almost from nowhere, eliciting a sudden growth spurt. A gap opened between his pants waistband and shirt hem as he stood with nearly an extra foot in height. This exposed a fuzzy belly button which was getting the area around it bleached into a cream white fur.

But there was far more important vengeance to unleash on the local wildlife. Wendel bolted from the bus stop, failing to pick up the sounds of a gentle blanket unfurling. In his wake, the bunny’s stubby tail experienced another rush of growth, becoming nearly three feet long in an instant. The additional weight barely registered even after its fur grew into a thick bush that gained the same blue tone as his new feminine hair.

The chase proved unsuccessful despite these alterations afflicting Wendel. He followed the white flying devil into a nearby park, only to lose it among a dense cluster of trees. It was just as well. All this running was really doing a number on the changing bunny’s hips. He paused along a path railing to try stretching them out, getting a satisfying pop. Relief flushed into his loins, creating an odd sense of internal warmth, but he quickly brushed that off with his weird outburst attracting enough perplexed stares.

“Oof!?” Okay, maybe that pop didn’t do the trick. It only took one staggering step for Wendel’s entire body to feel out of sync. Fortunately, he arched his back with another series of pops and regained a natural sense of balance. Although that left his backside more prominently lifted as it inflated out the wet denim of his pants. He resumed walking towards the first bench in sight, thighs naturally wanting to press closer together, trying to carry him with all the dignity a bunny could possess.

That was hard with the drastic sway his altered stride brought to his bodaciously spread hips. It was matched only by the gentle bounce developing on his chest. Twin mounds inflated under the bunny’s shirt, only stopping after his poster sported a substantially pronounced bosom.

At least having some natural surroundings was a lot better than a puddled bus stop. Scents of grassy dew tickled Wendel’s nose while he took a seat. He couldn’t help but close his eyes and take a few deep breaths. Each little pulse of flaring nostrils caused them to swell larger. The surrounding skin faded until the traditional pink button had turned into a fairly swollen black one.

The smile that parted Wendel’s muzzle lips exposed teeth, gaining a much sharper edge. While most of his exposed body fur was gaining a tinge of blue, his face brightened into a cream that matched the flow across his chest and thinning stomach. Nothing like a good Zen exercise to wash away the insanity this afternoon was becoming. He eagerly fished out the other half of his sandwich from its plastic bag.

Rows of pointed fangs barely pierced the seasoned bread before rocking vibrations caused Wendel’s ears to perk. Unfettered, he tore off a larger mouthful than he thought possible to savor what he could. The shaking only got stronger with each rhythmic thump, sending shivers up the partial bunny’s curvy legs. Some deep foreboding feeling in his slimming waistline told Wendel this was yet another calamity, but their sheer stubbornness kept him staring straight ahead while chewing. Ears continued to swivel about, trying to at least locate the direction, becoming much more apt when the long lobes shrunk to a fraction of their length and developed into triangle points.

There was no way to ignore the inevitable when a shadow passed directly over Wendel. The unmistakably fox-looking man didn’t have to bother turning his head before a hippo man in the most poorly designed spandex shorts and top thundered slowly down the path. Their ample rolls of exposed skin on their corpulent body glowed with the amount of sweat seeping out. Steam clouds escaped from the cavernous hole that was his gaping muzzle as he struggled to fill his lungs with fresh air.

“W-why did I think jogging was a good idea!?” he said with obvious exasperation. Not that he seemed to be talking to Wendel, or noticed another person's presence at all.

Wendel could only stare up at the towering, heavier mammal as he finished chewing his food and swallowing. He was about ready to open his own lengthening muzzle with some form of encouragement, only for the hippo to suddenly pivot on their stout legs. Being presented with an ass larger than the bench he was sitting on killed any sympathy and replaced it with forbidding fear. So much of the gray cheeks bulged out of their spandex legs that it practically made the garment look like a thong.

A display made worse when the hippo groaned and leaned back.

“Um! Sir? SIR!” Wendel squeaked, her voice cracking into an unmistakable feminine voice to go with her unrealized vixen appearance. The stank of perspiration nearly made her gag just speaking that much. And it did nothing to keep the fatty glutes from looming ever closer. “Hey fat ass! There’s someone sitting here! Wait. Stop! DON’T!”

If the panicked screams of bloody murder had reached the exhausted joggers’ tiny folded ears, it was too late anyway. Gravity soon gained dominance over his titanic weight, and they let it guide his body into a shortfall. Even then, his landing on the bench resulted in enough seismic force that birds scattered from nearby trees in panic.

“Ah, that’s so much better.” The hippo leaned back with a heavy sigh, letting his gut pour out in a low sag between his legs. It had the adverse effect of pinning down the much tinier set of Wendel’s legs, so they couldn’t thrash about desperately for attention.

“Hmm?” After a few seconds of blissful rest, something else occurred to the hippo. He straightened out of his slouch, grinding hips back and forth across the park bench. Its wood groaned in equally loud protests at the sheer volume of their presence, drowning out the whimpers of a vixen wedged against the musky cheeks. “I didn’t know they installed cushions on these things. That must be new.”

The hippo relaxed his full weight back onto the bench, intending to enjoy the quiet atmosphere a while longer. That ended up lasting only seconds before the bench gave up on life and shattered beneath him. His ass hit the concrete foundation with a second thud before oozing across the area like a blob from which no light could escape.

Wendel was just glad the scent had knocked her unconscious by that point.