Chapter 119: We, of the Qing

For a moment, Samaya was stunned, unable to move.

When she came to her senses, the Emperor was already crossing the threshold of her residence. The first thing she did was chase after him. She sped from her spot on the bed to the door, determined to get out before the doors closed behind the man. 

Before she could step out, however, she was halted in place by two spears crossing in front of her. She had to physically hold herself back from running into the makeshift wall of spears. Her eyes widened, and she finally took stock of her surroundings. Imperial Guards. Two. Stationed at her door. More, surrounding the small garden in her courtyard, two more at the gate of her courtyard, which the Emperor was approaching rapidly, getting farther and farther away from her. 

“Your Majesty!” She yelled. “You cannot do this! Do you really think this will work on me? Do you think I cannot-”

“We know you can.” The Emperor paused in his stride. It was infuriating how calm his voice was. More infuriating was the fact that he refused to turn, to face her. It made her want to grab him by the back of his neck and turn him toward her by force. 

Before she could ask him why he was doing this if he knew, he spoke again, answering her unasked question. 

“If you leave, it is your servants who will be punished. Each of your personal maids, each of your servants, and your beloved eunuch, all of them will get 20 lashes each.”

Samaya was so stunned that she could not comprehend what the man was saying for a moment.

“You … you cannot be serious, Your Majesty,” she whispered, knowing that his sensitive ears picked it, and as she continued speaking, her voice got louder and louder. “You would punish others for my sins?” 

“Considering that punishing you does not work-” he finally turned, his eyes as cold as ice as they bored into her soul- “yes.”

Samaya opened her mouth to say something. Anything. And then closed it. She opened it again and closed it again. This repeated several times. She could find words except ‘how fucking dare you, you entitled, callous bastard?!’ She had a feeling that would not go too well in a courtyard full of Imperial Guards and servants who practically worshipped the Son of Heaven. 

When he found no response, the Emperor waved a hand and pressed it behind his back, looking every inch the regal monarch, looking down at his subjects. 

“We have had talismans put around your residence. If you sneak out, we will know.”

With that, the man turned around and walked out of her courtyard, a sedan already ready for him outside. Had the man arranged everything beforehand? Before she had even reached the Imperial Study? The thought made something bitter rise in her throat. She watched until the sedan disappeared into the darkness.

Finally, the spears in front of her moved away. One of the guards stepped forward and bowed deeply to her, far more deeply than her station warranted. She narrowed her eyes. Did that mean that despite this debacle, she had not lost the Emperor’s favor? Perhaps. But she could not rely on that. 

“Lady Qing,” the guard intoned, “Please go back inside. We were commanded not to let you outside. Please do not make things difficult for us.”

There was nothing she would like more than to brute force her way out of this damn courtyard. Her entire body itched to just move.

If you leave, it is your servants who will be punished.

Suppressing a growl, she turned and slammed the door behind her, leaving her alone in the dark room. 

Suddenly, the room felt far too big. Samaya had never been alone in the room at night. Manu was always with her. And without him, it felt so very empty. Bleak. Heck, even the colors seemed dim. Without Manu, there was no reason to find life or joy in anything. She wanted to get to him. But that motherfucker was not letting her. The rational part of her mind told her there must be a reason; she had some idea of what the reason might be. But she did not care. She did not give a single flying fuck what happened to her. All that mattered was her son. 

“Fuck!”

She ran a frustrated hand through her hair, her hand coming in contact with the cold jade of the hairpin. The gift from the Emperor. She paused, her hand itching, before grabbing the damn thing, pulling it out, and chucking it onto the floor with every ounce of her strength. 

It did not break. 

How annoying. 

She exhaled harshly and closed her eyes, standing utterly still, as she contemplated what to do next. A few ideas came to mind. After a long moment, she opened her eyes, determined. First things first. She began walking to her bed to summon Ah-Liu when she heard a knock on the door. 

Samaya frowned, waiting for the uninvited to announce themself.

“My lady.” Lian’s voice reached her. “I have brought you food.”

Her response was immediate. “I am not hungry.”

“Please, my lady.” The maid’s voice was imploring. “You must eat. You have not even had lunch properly. You will fall ill, at this rate.”

It took everything in her not to snap. “I said I am not hungry! Leave. Now!”

But Lian seemed to be uncharacteristically stubborn today. 

“My lady, I shall not leave until you open the door and let me inside.” She said, her voice firm. “Please, my lady, Prince Xu would not want you to starve yourself.”

Anger surged in her, her blood boiling. Lian - Lian, of all people - should know not to use Manu against her. With a growl, she turned and stormed toward the double doors and wrenched them open.

“Lian, what do you-”

“My lady,” she said again, her voice far calmer than it should be with her mistress glaring down at her in murderous rage. “Please. You must eat.”

Samaya paused, seeing the sense of urgency in her eyes, her hands clenched so tightly around the tray that Samaya was sure that metal was digging into her skin. She would surely have red marks on her palms. 

Samaya stared at her for a long moment before sighing softly and moving aside quietly. Lian bowed and stepped inside, and Samaya immediately shut the door behind her. She did not know why Lian wanted to talk to her at this moment, but she knew Lian was experienced enough in the Palace not to do anything like this without a reason. 

Lian quickly carried the tray to the table, and Samaya followed her, crossing her arms as she waited impatiently for her to set down the tray. 

Once she was done, she turned to face Samaya. “Well?”

She did not have to worry about those guards listening in. All the residences in the inner palace were soundproofed with silencing talismans. Otherwise, with the sensitive hearing of the martial artists, anyone could listen in on the Emperor and one of his concubines going at it. 

Lian did not dally anymore. “Lady Qing, please do not worry about us.” She bowed. “Please do what you need to.”

Samaya blinked. Whatever she expected from Lian, it was not this. 

“What?”

Lian kept her head bowed. “We heard the Emperor. We shall gladly take any punishment His Majesty doles out. Please do not worry. Do what you need to do to bring Prince Xu back, Lady Qing.”

Samaya was taut, disbelief and relief warring inside of her. “Lian… is this just you speaking? Have you talked to the others?” 

There was a possibility that the others might not even know about this. 

Lian finally looked up, a small smile on her lips. It was subdued, sad, and held no true happiness. 

“It was Su who came to me with the news. They have all agreed to this.”

Samaya was still confused. “Why?”

Lian sighed softly, before stepping forward and taking her hand, squeezing them. “Because of this.”

Samaya looked down at their tangled hands and then looked back up, confusion still clear on her face.

“My lady, if it were another lady of the Inner Palace I had held the hand of without permission, what would they have done?”

Samaya did not even have to think to find the answer. At the very least, they would be flogged. 

Lian seemed to have found her answer, and her smile turned soft, almost motherly.

“Lady Qing, you are the only one to ever treat us as humans. Not only that, you went against the Emperor for us. In the Harem, where the Emperor’s favor means everything, you stood up to His Majesty for us. You cried for us, you raged for us, you took punishment for us, you put yourself in danger for us. Has any other Emperor ever rendered justice for mere maids? Has any other Emperor taken disgraced maids into the ranks of his concubines to protect them? It is because of you that we were protected.”

Lian let go of her hands and knelt on the ground, putting her hands onto the floor and kowtowing, a position reserved only for the highest of ranks. 

“We, of the Qing residence, are loyal to Lady Qing and are ready to lay down our lives if needed. From the ladies-in-waiting to the lowest of servants, this is what we decided. We implore you, worry not for us, bring our Prince back.”

Warmth surged in her, her irritation and anger fading. Her throat closed up. They never really spoke of it explicitly but she knew that everyone in her residence knew how different she was, knew she did not fit in, had an idea of how much she got her hands dirtied. The fact that they were so resolutely supporting her … she had known they were grateful to her, but she had not realised how deep their loyalties ran. She’d once decided she’d die for them, kill for them. She had not understood that they were willing to do the same for her. 

Samaya blinked her eyes rapidly, swallowing the tears that threatened to rise. She’d always had Ah-Liu, but now she had a whole slew of people who had little idea of what she would do and yet, stood by her unconditionally. 

Samaya stepped forward and leaned down, gently lifting Lian up onto her feet. 

“Lian, are you sure about this? Is everyone sure about this?” She asked and stared into her eyes. 

Lian smiled, meeting her eyes without hesitation. “On our life, Lady Qing.”

She had not been planning to sit still, of course. She would have moved anyway, regardless of what the Emperor said. She would have done everything in her power to ensure that her servants would not be punished. But if they were … well, it was a guilt that she would have learned to live. If the choice was between them and Manu … heck, if it was between Ah-Liu and Manu, she would choose Manu. Every. Single. Time. 

No matter how painful it was. 

But now that they are willing to face the punishment, Samaya had to admit, it lifted the weight on her heart just a bit. She did not care how bad of a person that made her. 

She pulled Lian and embraced her as tightly as she could. “Thank you,” she whispered, burying her face into the older woman’s shoulder, “thank you.”

Lian was frozen for a moment before she slowly returned her embrace, hesitant at first and soon firmer, as if becoming even more determined. 

“You need not thank us, my lady. This is our duty.”

Samaya pulled back and shook her head, grabbing her arms tightly. “It is not. It is never your duty to take the brunt of my sins. But-” she exhaled softly- “I am so very glad you have decided to do so. I know I am selfish for this. I will do everything in my power to make sure nothing happens to you, that not a hair on your head is harmed.”

Lian did not say anything, only bowed quietly in acquiescence. 

“Thank you,” she repeated. 

Lian gave a small nod and then stood straight. “I shall take my leave.”

Once Samaya nodded, she walked to the doors, opening them and stepping. 

She paused and then turned, donning a sad, concerned expression. “Please remember to eat, Lady Qing.”

Bowing once more, Lian closed the doors. 

Samaya had not thought it was possible, but her resolve hardened even more. These women were willing to sacrifice themselves for her and her son. She was gonna make it count. 

Walking to her drawer, she pulled out the familiar talisman and tore it in half. 

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Author's Note: We will get to see her ruthless side again very soon! But I have a small bad news. I have two upoming exams, one of them next week, and on the day I post too. I've been sick and unable to write or study properly this week. So I am going to use the next week to cram as much as possible. So, I won't be able to take the time to edit (and rewrite, if need be) my chapters. As such, I won't be able to update next week. I'm really sorry about that! I will be back to regular schedule the week after that. See you then!

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