The One About Interracial Dating

There honestly needs to be a social study about this, but I think growing up and seeing whiteness on Television, in porn etc. as the suggested "norm", we were subconsciously taught to fetishize whiteness as an accomplishment, something out of our reach or unattainable. Because growing up they were the stars, the heart throbs, the sexy doctors, the erotic standard and unfortunately the definition of beauty for multiple generations. Of course representation has changed that, but for most millennial poc's and older, whiteness was placed on such a social pedestal, that we're just now seeing it play out in our adult choices. I also think that those generations attributed wealth and accomplishment to whiteness, the 1%, ppl in power etc. So for those escaping "mental slavery", associating themselves with whiteness may subconsciously seem like a/ the only valid option.

TruCentrinoTech

There honestly needs to be a social study about this, but I think growing up and seeing whiteness on Television, in porn etc. as the suggested "norm", we were subconsciously taught to fetishize whiteness as an accomplishment, something out of our reach or unattainable. Because growing up they were the stars, the heart throbs, the sexy doctors, the erotic standard and unfortunately the definition of beauty for multiple generations. Of course representation has changed that, but for most millennial poc's and older, whiteness was placed on such a social pedestal, that we're just now seeing it play out in our adult choices. I also think that those generations attributed wealth and accomplishment to whiteness, the 1%, ppl in power etc. So for those escaping "mental slavery", associating themselves with whiteness may subconsciously seem like a/ the only valid option.

TruCentrinoTech

I love this episode, please please revisit it though. I have really noticed the "trend" of black queer celebrities dating outside their race (not bothersome, happy for people finding happiness) and I just can't help but think there is something to unearth here!

Michael Thompson

i thought so too, i thought she mentioned her partner during an acceptance speech.

Guyanese here, happy for the shoutout!!! 🇬🇾 (it’s alright Bob, we’re located next to Venezuela 😘)

Saskia

Queen Latina did come out didn’t she

I wanna see someone add to this conversation with a counter perspective on the irregular amount of black folks that gain influence and also date/ partner with white or white passing/ light skinned folks. I think there’s some aspects that felt missing as this conversation (being as deep as it is) left me with so many responses that couldn’t be answered by that vid.

JoJofrmSeattle

I think black gay ppl feel some type of way when we see black gay celebrities in a interracial relationship because of the lack of representation of black gay love in media. We hardly ever see it in movies, shows, or advertisements.

belching in the mic...thanks for that🤮

Shaen Cago

Candace Owens has literally filed a Civil Rights lawsuit (back when she waa liberal and not getting paid for her opinions). She has trauma with white people.

Listo

Agree to disagree but Ezra looks white. So does his dad and his sister. Maybe his grandparents/great grandparents are brown but no. He is hispanic/Mexican but white.

Judy

Ezra doesn’t look white….

AmyJoy

Literally crying at the last story that was James Charles😭💀

Beatrix

Please do an episode where you break down novels like Time Traveler's Wife. Please. That would be amazing.

Karen Dyer

if Bob is following his own ideas, race is what you look like and Ezra looks white so he's white... why does he never just say that?

Judy

why is Bob always calling Ezra Mexican as if he's not also white? Mexican is a nationality--not a race

Judy

Sometimes it’s exhausting as a black woman to be continuously not chosen. But that’s the schizophrenic remnants of historical pain. I have a black wife and I don’t care who people choose to date but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get it.

Simone

I thought this was a cute episode but there needs to be a part 2. I don't like when black celebs get attacked for having white partners like its their individual responsibility to uphold black love lol but we have to recognize a pattern. Black people may get slack from other black folks for dating interacially but there's a layer of privilege you get from having a non black partner. Thats why I think its so common for black celebs. I'm also a black bi cis woman who dates interacially but used to only date black.

Jaenell

this comment section is so chaotic hahaha

Jaenell

Nichelle Nichols is very unfortunately in a conservatorship which she has been fighting in court for years. Everyone reading this, please look her up and start talking about this so we can bring more attention to this. #FreeNichelle

Will

I wish Patreon let you block other patrons

I just think you're gonna get blocked and I'm not trying to get banned too. Anyways this is a whole paragraph and I'm not reading it

amazing

When Bob started talking about dating a white person while being pro black I immediately thought of that scene from I’m Gonna Git You Sucka with the Wayans Brothers. It’s a pretty old movie so idk if everyone has seen it but i’ll include the link. https://youtu.be/-STJeDotdaw

Interesting you won’t spell out nigger/nigga in full, but will allude to it by using **** - Clearly, you feel some kind of apprehension about the word nigger (including it’s various iterations) and cannot fully express your niggerisms, thus falling short of having a full and complete nigger/nigga moment (chef’s kiss 😘)- For the record, I honestly enjoy Monet and Bob and wanted to financially contribute/remunerate them for their talent - Again, I have issues with the words nigger/nigga and because the comment section is for fans to share their thoughts and impressions, I thought I was in safe place to do so, whether we agree or not, refusing to engage in ugliness towards each other - However, you (Dee) and a couple of other folks decided to make it personal towards me (I reciprocated), while not acknowledging the hatefulness of the word nigger/nigga (I’m pissed for typing it, period) - So, we reap what we sow when we put out that negative energy into world

Lol - I’m not mad, at all - Just reminded I’m a grown, thriving black man, who temporarily forgot that the comments section is trash, and this interaction is childish - THAT is black bottom line, period

It’s called Figgers and they in Florida?? Oh lord

Bye! You mad? Bye!!

Validating nigger behavior, most of you - Saying and typing nigger makes my teeth and typed text whiter . . . the malignancy of that word, nigger, is soul crushing and I expressed my distaste for the term - Now, I will cancel the account and leave you brown-nosing negros to do whatever the fuck it is y’all do

I love my black men but as a cis black women (21) . I usually date older black men and it most of the time becomes a struggle contest .. like who life is harder ,trying to invalidate my depression and other strong emotions I have .. with time I can pull back and self reflect and take accountability of being inthralled in the moment and get overwhelmed and shutting down .. but because that isn’t as bad as them being homeless or being stabbed I shouldn’t be that upset .. which is wild .. that competitive aspect of dating black is really making consider being with a black women but I’m not confident in my sexuality 🥺 but I know we have a beautiful understanding and bond no one has

Kyla

I am an 19 yr old gay black man. I have only ever dated two men in my life. The first was hispanic. My current man is Black. When I popped out with my current man, everyone was shocked saying "I didn't know you dated black men." ... Ive literally only dated one person before him and everyone saw that and created this weird, self hating narrative about me. It was v uncomfy.

Caleb Flenoury

PLEAAASEEE

Caleb Flenoury

A black person wanting to share the black experience with another black person, having that to relate to in a deep way is understandable and doesn’t offend me. A white person not wanting to date outside of whiteness usually has nothing to do with “wanting a shared experience” and has everything to do with racism, feeling superior, etc. I’m a white girl and this is obvious to me. But again, I’m not shocked to learn about white people not getting it. White people tend to not get it willingly for their own comfort.

You paid your little money to say this. You know how they talk and yet here you are complaining when you can just have cancelled the patreon? Are you ok?

Angel Marieee

Fuck you and perhaps you should check your damn self telling me what I should or should not do - I shared my distaste for the word nigger/nigga and it’s not cute not funny to say those terms while in the breath express disdain for racist behavior - On the record, I’m African American sharing my thoughts and distaste for the demeaning term . . . Again, fuck you and the bitch that birthed your tired ass

?

Yeah . . . y’all’s use of the n-word is problematic and I cannot/will not support it, particularly when it’s usage is intended as a Black identifying label - I am a fan of both of you, but the fandom does not allow me to ignore the offensive language - Words mean things

came here to comment this

As a withered old spinster who never had much luck dating and finally decided just to not bother I feel like it is hard enough to find someone you are compatible with. If you start limiting it based on race that just decreases your chances of finding a partner. Just be happy that people found a partner that makes them happy.

Marchmain

Came here to say the same thing!

M

I encourage y’all to read the autobiography of Malcolm X

Salvatore ♱

Mexican is NOT a race, Bob

Guyana is physically in south America but is considered to be in the Caribbean.

I love when ya’ll be blackout black black let these niggas know. Lol

Chavo Poole

Latifah is out!! https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2021/06/queen-latifah-officially-sends-love-partner-son-bet-awards-ceremony/

How I DIED at Bob's silence when Queen Latifah was mentioned...HILARIOUS! And Monet's confusion.

Amber

In this Podcast YOU BOB mentioned "Who's coming to Dinner" AND "Full House" and within the HOUR Sidney Potier and Bob Sagat died. If your illuminati having azz don't stop offing celebrities ima blow the lid on this Entire operation!

Lisa Powers

Los Angeles Black gay Native ... We out here , Just not in the same places Bob and Monet frequent like WEHO🏌🏿‍♀️

What I will say is while I do not get upset when I see black men of a certain status in an interracial relationship, I will say that it is arresting to see that practically ALL famous queer black men seem to be in interracial relationships. I think that representation matters.

Dustin E

I do want an edit of Drag Race where there is no background music, to have an idea of what it's like to be there.

Violet

"Shadowland" from TLK on Broadway, one of the best Act 2 ballads out there.

Violet

BUT... I've also dipped my toe in the white waters and I do not regret it lol

puresomewhere

I've been a person to shame black men specifically for dating white women, and I can say that it came from a hurt place. Feeling rejected, unloved and unseen. It also doesn't help when some straight black men parade their non black preferences and blatantly preach their lack of attraction to black women *side eyeing Chris Brown*.

puresomewhere

i’m mixed race and i didn’t know calling someone “mixed” was a slur or an offensive term

Mia Shai

I feel as though you have the right to date or marry whoever you want. Honestly I think that history has a lot to do with black relationships. It wasn’t that long ago that there were violent repercussions for dating outside of your race especially in the south.

Can we get another episode with Cracker?!? PLEEEEASEEEE?!?!?

Christopher Johnson

Having a non white partner does not give you cart blanche to speak on things you couldn't even dream of experiencing, ESPECIALLY if you start with the reverse racism BS. You're speaking from a place of ignorance before you even open your mouth. 😒😒

Cush

Monets yoda tho 👀

Gray

I just fn love hearing your voices ❤️ y’all send me ✌️

Gray

I miss monets Xchange rate!!!

Gray

Monets just holding out on the lessons for Bob. Bob

Gray

Queen latifah is definitely out. There are tons of pictures of her with her wife.

Sincerely Eccentric

Let's hear it for Bobs ingenuity! 🥰🤣

This was a great episode! I’m married to a white man, and a lot of the experiences you two mentioned, I know them first hand. I feel seen. Thank you!

Zurich D

I love this discussion. As a biracial person (black/white) I am lighter than other mixed kids but not at all white passing. I'm racially ambiguous and it actually created a challenge for not only dating but existing my whole life

Alexis T

YEO you need to serious disclaimers here. I love it but loll

I think y’all should talk to Amanda Seales and/or Crissles from The Read.

Court

Omgg I sooo want to be a part of this conversation I have sooooo many things to say🤯🤯 I’m mixed (black/white), I grew up in a white family and it was haaaard (still is🙄). My experience growing up is why I don’t really want to date white people,at least seriously (unless they were adopted by a couple of POC😭) otherwise it’s a no for me I’m not doing this to my kids. Plus white people are kinda awkward anyways🤷🏽‍♀️

Jeanne Prince Thomassin

This is a very good point. It kinda goes along with Monet’s story abound dating a lot DL guys.

Alexis

Interesting topic. I’m curious as a Latinx Individual. Do you believe that it’s more socially acceptable for a black person to bring home a Latin or Asian person as opposed to a white person. I tend to find the divide to be primarily white vs black. I’ve experienced being told when I was brought home into a black household that they were happier then when a white person was brought home. Vice versa for who I brought into mine. Bringing a white person is just different. The topic focused a lot on WHITE. TLDR: Does a black or POC get a pass when they bring home another race that isn’t white.

Lmaoo girl I always said if seperate but equal was ACTUALLY equal, my black ass would’ve been happy never integrating. I do not want white ppl in my space pls and thank you.

Next ep: The One with Trixie (oop I mean Pixie) 😂😂🤦🏾‍♂️

They really needed to invite some new perspectives on for this chat. It was very.... one-side and lacking lol

Very many crumbs left :/ all the Black people (🙋🏾‍♂️) saying this was uncomfortable and white people praising this episode is also very telling lol

HARD disagree with Monet that white passing Black people still experience life as a Black person. That’s literally the whole thing with white passing, the world perceives you as white and that comes with a host of privileges. You get to decide when and if someone knows your black, which is obviously not the case for non-white passing people

While this topic is important I feel like it’s missing so much. I don’t really think black folks feeling like we are losing a black person to white people but why is it every time a black person that comes into wealth and power immediately look for a white panther or only date white folks. TO ME! It seems like wealthy black folk only date white to maintain the new wealth and power they have. While yes date who you want to date and love who you want to love but it is sad when you can’t even name 5 wealthy black couples in Los Angeles.

Angel Marieee

As queer jew of color would I prefer to date someone who is jewish or a poc (or better yet, a jew of color)-? absolutely, cuz like you said, there's certain things that even the wokest white person won't be able to ever understand about my experience. However, I'm still open to dating a white person (as long as I felt comfortable and safe discussing racial issues with them) given that the dating pool is already so small for queer people and the majority of the country is white

oh boy, not the reverse racism card....

And still no “I love you” for Andy 😕

Shola Amusa

Or Lionel Richie's All Night Long 😆

Joanne Robertson

Also even though I feel this way I still believe in live and let live I don’t care who or what you do but as for ME and mine house?! Yeah.

Shequita Brooks

I know you guys like to tussle but lemme say this….desegregation was a mistake. All we wanted to do is be able to enter in the front of establishments and not get spit on going down to the Target. I’m Blacj so I’m speaking for myself. Black people can/will/have thrive(d) in our own communities but the good Reverend King and adjacents thought we needed to mingle with the others. He didn’t speak for me. In my opinion it was a mistake. Also my father is the standard for any man. My father a Black, strong, wonderful man is the STANDARD. I definitely can not find that in any other race.

Shequita Brooks

I know you guys weren't serious about it but I know that in the 19th century in Paraguay they made it illegal for white people to marry each other in an attempt to stop the white elite from ruling the country and to make a true multiracial and multicultural country, this made it so the majority of the population ended up being mestizo and multiracial, unfortunately all of that resulted in a country where the mestizo majority replaced the white elite and continue to this day discriminating against afro and indigenous people in the country, so nothing truly changed.

Nicolas Leiva Herrera

I feel like white people who only wanna fuck other white people makes complete sense to me everyone knows white culture is incest

Elijah

I really appreciate this conversation. I am half mexican and lebanese and I am dating a gingery jewish man at the moment. I have always dated men within my own race and outside. I just rather date someone who has dated someone outside of the race before dating me, it relieves so much pressure. I dated a beautiful black man once and because I was his first girlfriend outside of his race, he called it out alot and we just couldn't connect and the relationship ended. I just never want to go through that again.

Tania Tavira

I was high af watching drag race, and yes I heard every background song .. wild

Also in the mid west over half my family is mixed with white ppl and my family always tried to get me to end up with a white Person

Elijah

I am dating a white man, He matches my energy even though we are POLAR OPPOSITES(not really lol) souther country man whose parents are homophobic and voted for trump sksks while I'm a southern black man whose parents WERE homophobic till all of their children start to identify as gay (4 out of 5) He didn't respect drag, barely more of a trendy ally in things and just didn't have a pro comparing till he started to listen to me, and I and my family started to be more res[pectful then I realize with some of our "jokes" since I met him. he took me to a drag show 2 weeks ago, and just told me it was one of the best times of his life :)

Josh???? Williams

Nah, ya living in and around Washington Heights got ya Spanish all togetherrr! I’m impressed 🇸🇻

This could've stayed in the drafts sis...

lindsey gueye

black women get treated like shit from black men so they try white men which have of them love and respect black women but the other white ppl ask stupid shit like “ do all blck ppl have hair like that. why do u all love watermelon” then white men are shocked when they get called racist. i do think it’s different for gays i dont know that many gays that date only their race. i prefer black and latino but never limit myself. i feel like the idea of datin a white person is a false notion that makes us black ppl feel like we can do more. get more done have more resources. live a richer life if we date white ppl. which is not really the case

toy_soldier32

Asia’s stance is wild to me - you can’t critique whiteness if you’re dating a white person?! That’s like saying women can’t critique men or patriarchy if they’re dating a man, like what?! Idiocy.

Lou LaFandango

lmaoooooooo @ where Jacob cut it off 😂😂😂

Ilse

And the fact that there are so few queer black famous couples is in a way disheartening and i honestly expected y’all to have more names. It almost seems like whenever queer black ppl get money and success they end up in aninterracial relationship. Which is why you see comments like “of course they’re with a white person” and “they’re selling out” is because it does sort become an expected pattern on the path of black queer success that needs to be discussed not in a problematic way but in a retrospective way that really tries to see if there is some underlying things going on that encourage that pattern. One clear indication I can probably point out is location and the number of black ppl in places like LA probably has a much smaller pool of queer black and available people.

Tamario House

I just wanna say that I love the idea behind the convo but it seems like y’all are oversimplifying the situation. I know I my experience I don’t deal with white guys for numerous reasons but it typically has nothing to do with whether I find them attractive or the color of their skin. It likely a combination of comfort, trauma, expectation and compatibility. It just always there are huge foundational differences between us that while I can understand and not have an issue with it makes it hard to build a meaningful and lasting relationship. PS there is a black owned cell phone company based in Florida I believe if anyone is interested it’s called Figgers Communication owned by Freddie Figgers they have phones and plans

Tamario House

I’m listening to “The One Where Monet Wins an Emmy” Bob told Monet if she ever gets married do not invite her cause she will not go. I would love for them to touch on this subject again! 😂

Monique Skellington

I enjoy these conversations way more than talking about things like hotels or drag gigs. They’re fun filler episodes because they have a lot of funny moments but when you talk about serious moments like religion, parenting, transracialism and now this. It’s all so interesting and I love listening to you all talk about it. Thank you for another fab episode. I really have nothing of meaning to add to this discussion other than I think it probably has a lot to do with trauma wanting people to stick to their own. Kind of like a weird Romeo and Juliet sort of storyline where you can’t date people from the “other side” because it’s failing your own. I personally don’t think like this but from I’ve seen this from people sharing their own experience

Frida Sapphic

Also date whoever you want and mind your business about who other people are dating. It’s that simple fr

Rolandilil

The story with cracker was fucking hilarious, please have her back on the podcast soon I’d love to hear more stories of you 3 from back in the day in nyc

Rolandilil

Also re: interracial couples on tik tok, I think people call them out if it's only them making it their whole identity or personality trait. And for biracial or mixed people, someone I was listening to recently made a great point. The issue is when someone makes their (overwhelmingly) Black parent or relative as a "gotcha" or for shock value. It's basically exploiting your family and blackness for clout.

jessica bw

I’m interested to hear the perspective of Ezra. As a Mexican, we share some SOME (not all) experiences with racism and discrimination. So I’d love to hear his take on this conversation.

Emmanuel Quiroz

As the white guy in this interracial couple, I have no problem with calling out white people as racist that only date white. However, I believe that any race that Only dates within their race are racist. They are pre-judging an individual based on their ethnicity without ever knowing who they are. If you are gonna call out white folks, call out everyone. 🤔

RichClif

I think in this conversation ya'll are maybe skimping over the, like, enduring trauma of growing up in the 90s and 2000s when there were so many subtle and overt messages in the media about how undesirable black people were—*especially* black women and black femmes in general. As a black gay guy myself I still have a lot of hangups from being on the hook-up apps in the 2000s and 2010s when it was still perfectly acceptable to announce "No blacks just a preference" on your profile, never mind the racist trolls who would just blast you with N-word messages for no reason. I think for many black folks who take the stance of "dating outside the race is anti-black," a lot of that energy stems from a desire to basically bump up the numbers of people out there who are loud, proud and demonstrative about their love—sexual, romantic, etc.—for black people. I personally will and do date people of any race, but I can acknowledge that (1) it's disappointing to see so few examples of queer black-on-black love among prominent celebrity couples, and that (2) young people of all races but especially black kids would benefit from having more examples in the world of successful couples that feature not one but two thriving black people. I don't, however, think that makes it right to pressure individual black celebrities to date other black people. Finding someone you like is hard enough. Anyway, love you both! I feel like you started to touch on some of this stuff in the 2nd half of the convo but I just had to chime in. I'm sure no one will read this lol.

I wanna know what Monet’s secret sex act was. 😏

Emmanuella Osei

Wait, was Monet conflating Justine Sacco and James Charles in that flight to South Africa story at the end? 😂

MadMaxineShaw

Woah... you are so right.

TJ

The story of Andy bringing your family sunflowers is precious, Monet. He sounds like such a sweetheart ❤️ so happy for you!

Kelly B.

Y'all should talk to Crissle and Kid Fury from the Read! I don't think they are necessarily ANTI interracial dating, but I think they would offer an opposing viewpoint and still keep the convo light and fun. I think they have said that they don't see themselves dating a white person since white people can't truly understand the black american experience (I'm paraphrasing and don't know the episode they discussed it, but thats how I understood/remember it).

Daniel

Bob is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT about the Time Travelers Wife lmao

I’d very much like to join the panel of black people against interracial dating lmaoo

White person here. I’m not upset at all about what you said about white people only wanting to date white people. I agree it seems strange. When other white people tell me that I get suspicious too like uhhh why? I have yet to hear an actual valid reason that isn’t based on racist or prejudiced ideas. I think it comes from not having that exposure and maybe feeling inadequate? I dated white guys and girls up until college but that’s only because that’s what was around me. Once I got into college I was like ohhhh I like everyone.

GUYANA 💜 🇬🇾 🇬🇾 🇬🇾 🇬🇾 🇬🇾 🇬🇾 🇬🇾 🇬🇾 🇬🇾

The only way to get rid of white people is NOT to mix with them. Y'all look at Latin America lmao, mixing does not help. Also it's weird for white people to have racial preferences because there's no one physical feature ALL Black people or other racialized groups have in common. There are a group of features that are racialized, which means these white people are not attracted to the ~idea~ of Blackness, which is racist.

dio

OMG Jimenez!!!!!

Bob The Drag Queen & Monét X Change

Being a Black women in an multicultural (I hate the term interracial) marriage with a child this was a interesting topic. I enjoyed listening to it. Before we had our child my husband who is white, and I would have theses type talks. I can relate to this topic a lot.

I'm Jewish and my boyfriend is Christian and he told me he would convert to Judaism if I wanted him to, and I told him absolutely not, unless you want to convert because you believe in Judaism, while it's a nice gesture, it's pointless.

Aaron Salisbury

This was a good starting point of discussion. I really “Liked” this episode (can’t say love🤫 😂 lol) I agree with other comments in regards to including more perspectives. This convo has come up in my friend groups many times. Some of the talking points we often discuss include accessibility, fear, upbringing, preferences, visibility and relatability just to name a few. (With visibility being a big talking point) And as a Black gay man with a Black partner, I definitely have thoughts as I’ve dated outside my race plenty of times in the past. Lol It would be nice to hear/see other perspectives of queer Black ppl with Black partners. Mostly b/c I don’t think you can limit it to someone who solely dates Black ppl. But you also have to include ppl like myself who have dated outside their race but currently have Black partners (or previously). Looking forward to more on this topic. Love you both…shit, I mean “Like”. Lol

Marcus Drew

I will preface by saying I don't identify as LGBTQ. However, I do have some experience dating outside of my race (Black, if you couldn't tell lol), and not feeling fully accepted within some Black spaces and having my Blackness questioned. Regarding famous Black LGBTQ people dating non-Black, one of my best friends who is Queer has noticed this about a few Black people too, ex. RuPaul and Todrick Hall. I think it has to do with homophobia in Black community. I am *not* suggesting that Black people are more homophobic, or that other groups don't have homophobic tendencies. But I think particularly with celebrities in the arts which are dominated by white gays in many spaces, they may feel more accepted, especially if they have experienced discrimination within Black spaces growing up. It may not be intentional, perhaps it's in the subconscious. But I feel like from what I see, that is why.

jessica bw

Bob girl you learned jambo from mean girls 😭😭😭😭

Adam Travis

But it’s a physical construct.

Bob The Drag Queen & Monét X Change

Only Bob and Monet argue over a table

I feel like you could call social media a cancer in general, imo. I really try to stay offline because it just seems like the worst people flock to these online spaces. Maybe I'm cynical and those are just the loud ones but the fact that there are so many people that agree with those who are loud and wrong is also telling to me.

Bob watching this like “one to go…”

What a great fucking episode! I really appreciate the two of you for your nuanced approach to identity. This may not be a safe place for white supremacists, but it sure as shit is a safe place for the the oppressed and the neglected. ❤️😘👏

Erich

This episode was so good! Love this conversation. I especially loved the story about your family meeting both your partners. Monet that was so sweet of him to being flowers and the fact he was not afraid to meet your family so soon shows how much I like you. Bob your cousins being nervous when they saw Jacob watching them while lighting up fireworks had me in tears 🤣🤣🤣🤣. I can listen to you both all day. Happy New Year and can’t wait for more! 😘😘🤎🤎😘😘🤎🤎😘😘🤎🤎

Diamond Nicole

I was waiting for Monet to call that out 😂

Monique Skellington

pearl black

Cristian Santiago

I also think that the hate some Black people have for other Black people dating outside their race is rooted in some idea that our race will cease to exist if we keep pursuing non-Black relationships. Of course that’s very rooted in backwards ideals that all romantic or sexual relationships result in procreation. But it may also stem from legacies of slavery and trauma related to cultures being destroyed when Black relationships and families were ripped a part. It’s also weirdly connected to religion for some (there is a certain verse in the Bible that people interpret as being anti-interracial relationship). Very interesting the history behind this school of thought, and it’s definitely not a new concept.

Kayla

Monet was completely right on asking yourself why it makes you so made tho bc as soon as I asked myself that I realized I hate when I see black men with white men is bc growing up I didn’t feel like I related to other black ppl and that internalized racism turned into my only looking and hooking up with white/ Hispanic but mainly none black men so when I see a black man with a white man I instantly go back to that mind space

Elijah

I think it’s very interesting the way interracial couples are shown in the media. If you notice—especially in commercials, but sometimes also in tv shows and movies—that whenever interracial cis het couples are shown, the man is usually white. Or in any interracial couple, one of the partners is always white. It’s rarely two people of color in an interracial relationship. It’s like a subtle nod to this idea that no matter what, the archetype of a desirable partner is someone white. It’s very hard to unsee once you notice it.

Kayla

Not me stressed for J wondering when they're gonna cut them off...

Babette Perez

I sorry I loved Steve lacy then him saying he didn’t date other black men was like damn about her gay black man who hates himself and it was super disheartening bc then they blame it on how other black men act

Elijah

There needs to be someone who has a different opinion, then we get their side as well.

Rondrequel McCloud

I think everyone is allowed to discriminate when it comes to who you let into your body and share intimacy with. If I don’t want a white dick in me or they don’t want black ass then fine. NEXT…

Thank you for this episode ! I’m married to a WHite man. Like. Never been pulled over, grew up in a lake front house. I mean hell, he is a professional lacrosse coach. My man is white white. And sometimes I get so frustrated because we didn’t share the same cultural experiences so I feel like he doesn’t understand me or my reactions to shit. But I feel like we’ve learned so much from each other and I feel like he now gravitates towards black people in social situations because he sees the side of whiteness that you can only see through a black experience. Like me being racially profiled in stores when we are together etc. but then there are also black men who will make comments at us in public.

E B

Also it’s INCREDIBLE to see Gen Zers getting mad on TikTok about interracial couples but then get mad when a white person only dates a white person. How does that make sense? You don’t want white people to be exclusive but you want other races to be???

I think a black person saying they will only date other black people is just as discriminatory as a white person saying they’d only date white people. It’s quite literally just reintroducing the concept of segregation. A black person systematically excluding other races like Asians, Latinos, etc. just perpetuates systematic Racism against those groups too. Restricting anything to race (outside of support groups) is just kind of disgusting to me in general. If a black person told me they’d only date black people I’d be just as uncomfortable as if a white person said they’d only date white people.

i thought Bob was gonna start rapping Elian's Theme at the start

Ryan Mortenson

i think they where talking about different thing, Bob's story sounded more like James Charles' Ebola tweet https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/james_charles_tweet_embed.jpg?w=928

I don’t know why but the way monèt unscrews water bottles angers me lmao

Riles Fo’miles

No.. that’s a different incident. These two are obviously referring to the Justine Sacco tweet she sent out during her flight.

I think we too often ignore the significant population difference between Black and non-Black people. Specifically, white people make up 75% of the population. They're 3 out of every 4 people in the room. LGBT people are 5% of the population. Dating is a numbers game

Amaru Lewis

The tweet you two are thinking of is from a woman, not a man. Her name was Justine Sacco and she had a PR job. She wasn’t in high school. And the tweet was about AIDS not Ebola.

Jacobbbbb get a microphone please!

Louise Gappa

that sounds shady but I really mean it!

karl shepard

that was such a smooth transition I’m so proud of you guys

karl shepard

shout out guyana!! lmfao

zelina

Yall did not eat this conversation. 😐

omg i really hope fox news does not find the segment of wiping the white people out lolllll

S

I do agree that saying “all Black people who date inter-racially don’t love their Blackness” is painting with a broad brush, we have seen several instances where Black people only date outside their race because they do hate their Blackness or they reference dating white people as a means of status. Those clips go viral frequently.

I don’t think it’s weird that Black people have issues with other Black people dating outside their race. I think Black people’s traumatic experiences with white people from the time they brought us here from Africa until now probably plays a significant role in that. It makes sense to me. A majority of them have either participated in or were indifferent to our suffering. And also their history of hyper sexualization and fetishizing our bodies while denying us right and humanity.

Thank u all tho

kittygirlineedsomehelp

You should open this up for black queer fans I agree but there is so much to say that never gets a platform

kittygirlineedsomehelp

Queen latifah has been openly dating women for so long 😂

kittygirlineedsomehelp

For Native Americans it’s all about blood quantums. I know families who have friends who falsely sign babies birth certificates, just so the kids are enrolled. It’s a messed Up process when it comes to native nations and keeping their blood line 😩😞💕

Alyssa whitworth

Tik Tok is a cancer. Obviously not every aspect of it. But the shit that gets said there and massively upvoted is mind blowing. I guess everyone has unfortunately learned that divisiveness sells.

Zachyzach

I'm Mexican and I've dated mostly white people because my hometown is predominantly white, but recently I was in a relationship with another Mexican and suddenly people were like "omg you two make so much sense together!!" but would never say anything about our actual personalities "making sense". thought that was an interesting reaction

jada jasmine

As a Native American I’m told to get with a native so our child can be enrolled and it is so damn toxic

Alyssa whitworth

watch out guyana!!!!

BOB JUST REVEALED THE BLACK AGENDA LMAO FUCK EM OUT THE SYSTEM 2022

JAY

This was a good episode.

Not sure if anyone mentioned it, but Queen Latifah is out. She and her wife have a child and she acknowledged them at an award show last year (2021)

De'Shuna

Great podcast Monet and Bob! And please do have pixie on as a guest please!!!

Megan Lawson

Damn y’all actually managed to stay on topic for the whole episode, I am proud ngl lol good episode!!!

Cristina

i learned jumbo from mean girls

Such a good episode!

Kathryn Brereton

The guy who tweeted that lame ass ebola tweet was James Charles🤨 who definitely went on to have a massive career after that despite being called out for other horrible tweets AND predatory behaviour after that... being canceled only goes so far ig, especially when you're a rich white man

Snh

One last thing: Like Issa Rae mentioned while promoting her movie "Love Birds" I wish we would talk more about interracial relationships between POCs more. In conversations, movies, television, it's always Black people who are dating white. I'd love to see more examples and conversation about POC interracial couples

According to my Googles Queen Latifah is out with her partner Eboni Nichols and they have a child together.

I'm a Black, gay man who has had white boyfriends before, and NEVER had issues with other Black folks dating white people. However, I would strongly prefer a Black partner (or at least another POC) moving forward because the racial power dynamics that occupy society don't end at a relationship. If a white partner and I got into a verbal argument, bystanders would likely side with the white partner. If the police were called to a loud argument that white partner would have a tremendous amount of power over me in that situation. Additionally, I'd prefer a black /POC partner so that I don't have to educate a white partner on racism. No matter how woke a white partner may be or try to empathic, it's impossible to fully understand what it's like to be a POC in this world. There would be a lack of that cultural shorthand that that exists between POCs. Also, some part of me doesn't want to date a white guy anymore as it would in a way (debatable) affirm the gay community's racial hierarchy that we pretend doesn't exist. With all that being said, if there is a white guy that is an exceptional match (not having to explain racism 101 or why I have a preference for Black men) I'd be open to seeing where it goes.

This conversation has so many sides.The hate of black people dating outside of their race has to do with colorism that we deal with. Black men have notoriously treat black women like trash but other race better. This turns black women more open to other race because don’t want that treatment. Especially if you have a family member that has biracial kids you see the difference the family treats them. I can see Amanda seales side of not wanting to date a “white person”. Having to explain the shared black / minority experience of subtle racism in America is very triggering and hard to explain. In law family members will say/do racist stuff you have to correct/show your partner. Also dating outside of your race doesn’t make you not of your culture

chafnx

I be feeling like that too sometimes but i’m sure most of the time it’s not anyone that we would necessarily know but, is within their circle of friends/associates & may be outed in some way or they dont have explicit permission to speak on so i get it lol

Kirstie Blaire

I came to the comments to say the same thing. Maybe she didn't explicitly say, "I'm queer," but very publicly acknowledging her partner and the son they have together is pretty straightforward. I'd say she's basically out.

EscApie

typically when someone refers to Mexicans they are talking about people who are a mix of Spanish (white) and native American. There are white Mexicans, but most Mexicans are not white.

Bob The Drag Queen & Monét X Change

I just wanna see more interracial relationships that don’t include white people. They need more representation!

The conversation about race is incredibly fucked on tik tok atm. I’m almost convinced a lot of the people saying the shit that Bob mentioned are just saying it to get engagement and boost their pages. There’s a HUGE trend right now of American POC on tik tok accusing Aboriginal Australians of not being black despite having 0 knowledge of the cultural history, customs, or language that exist in Australia.

Luen Tobar

Idk about other siblings and cousins up on here. But....Im sorry, when they bleep out names and all that when they are trying to explain certain things, MAKES ME SO FCKINNNNGGG FURIOUSLY MAD!!! It's that type of shittt when people say "Omg, I have something too tell you....!" but then 2 seconds later say.."Awww nevermind, I cant say anything...." OMG I HATEEEEE THAT SHITTTT. The whole damn fantasy and vision is over with and im no longer interested. IDK. IM SORRRY I HAD TO SAY IT. I loveeeee being a sibling but dammmmmmm! ughh.

I have so many thoughts on this but not enough energy to type. Ultimately I agree with y’all on many levels about interracial dating and the impact/reaction of black people. But there are a few perspectives that are missing in the discussion so I’m like “please add me next time” lolz because this often comes up. I’m in a group chat with pic females and this also comes up there quite often and I’m the black gay that has predominately dated white people… so many levels… ahhhh

Jonathan Hairston

Gurl I thought they been said that we’ve been dragging them. Lol where is the go fund me to get Jacob a damn mic lol

Anthony

Jacob needs a fuckin’ mic!!! 🎙

Anthony

😂😂😂😂this comment rlly got me together

Flatbush Junction

I rlly was sitting there like...wait I thought y'all niggas knew him like personally lol

Flatbush Junction

Fantastic episode!! Cancel where?!? Anyone who had problem with this episode is clearly smoking a klansman's dick with a smile on their face and spoiled mayonnaise and tartar sauce (semen) on their face. Everything from black people judging one another for dating someone who is not black and white people who only want to date other white people being problematic. All these statements are facts. Keep the pressure on these hoes necks. People always get their titties in a tizzy whenever someone start speaking truth. Absolutely magnificent episode!! (Wanted to say it twice)

Jon L.

Could Jacob have subtitles for himself? I can never hear him but I wanna know what he's saying lol

GioB.

Not overqualified 😂😂😂

Darryl McCallum

Jacob needs a mic I turn my phone all the way up to kinda hear what he’s saying 😂😂 and I still can’t understand after it’s up so I rewind it and still don’t catch it 🤦🏾‍♀️😩😂😂

I am honestly astonished one of Bob’s favorite comedians is John Mulaney…. I have never laughed at a single thing that man has ever uttered out of his mouth. Lol I like my bread with some wheat oats and herbs, not a plain white bread with no crust kind of guy.

Anthony

this is the comment

Naethyn Robb

Does Monet like Avatar live action? That’s awesome

JT

When Bob was saying that bit at the end about the pod not being a safe place for white supremacists, I was waiting for her to say "White pride will be your downfall"

Austin

Great episode. Jacob....for the love of all creation, get a microphone!

The Sorceress

Jason Bolden and Adair Curtis. Jason is a celebrity stylist who styles a lot of Black Hollywood and their show was Styling Hollywood. Still annoyed they didn’t get a season 2. Queen Latifah didn’t officially come out but she did thank her partner at the end of speech when she received her Lifetime Achievement Award at BET.

Mel8235

I just realized when yall mentioned it that I would side eye my child if they brought someone white home. I never even considered it because we are in a black area and none of us (me, my husband, our parents) ever dated outside their race. My dad last year got with a white girl and had a baby so I have a white brother now. A lot to think about, I don't want to mess my kids up.

Deekal10

i cant believe neither of y’all could think of queer eye or karamo 💀💀 this ep was great tho. as the product of an interracial relationship, i was cackling the entire time and i loved it. i hate that y’all get hate for dating outside of your race. literally what year is it lmao there are so many things to be mad about

even jus the intro had me cracking up bob said 1,2,3 in german monet says 4,5,6 in german n bon like what’s that..

Andrew Larocque

I'm in a long term interracial relationship and let me say this, family get togethers are fun and many times cringey. It's definitely broaden both of our experiences and perspectives.

OverWatchery

Guiana is in South America!

Daniel Pichardo

i love y’all, but y’all have got to stop treating Latino/Hispanic like they’re races bc they’re definitely not.

Patois and creole are not the same thing. Creole includes more than french and is often a mixture of all the “colonial” languages (english, french, spanish, portuguese). Patois is primarily the colonial language.

DiVixen

This is the one I’ve been waiting for! Can’t wait to listen!

Shaneil

Fun fact: my old roommate’s aunt is Nichelle Nichols!!! I remember she would tell us soooo many stories about her representation on Star Trek. It was really amazing. ❤️❤️❤️

Gaby Castro

It’s the consistency for me!!!

Oooooooooh!!! I've been waiting for this conversation.

Madame

Yes! 🙌🏾 Something to help knock an hour out of my work time.

Mel8235

Shoutout to my Japanese teacher that made us Japanese food every end of quarter leading to my love for Japanese food/culture.

GioB.

I feel like Bob really hiding the fact they learned Jambo from mean girls but we will let them live their truths on their pod casts.#blessedwithcontent

Johnny R.

Not Bob and Monet practicing their kindergarten Spanish on their podcast. Girls 😂🤣😂🤣😂

Y’all are feeding!!

Madison Long

I haven't started it yet... But this is something you both are over qualified to discuss 🏌🏿‍♀️

come on consistent content

Josh

I was JUST about to start a Dragula marathon and here y’all come!

DeShawn (@frootytreblez)

Not us getting ALL THIS CONTENT 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

The girls are pumping out content and I’m here for it!

Darryl McCallum

Being fed, loves it

alexis

Yoooo I’ve been waiting for this topic! I’m excited to hear your thoughts on the topic

Kristen Starks