Once Upon a Time

I was at the office late again.

I thought work would get easier once I passed the bar. Then my goal moved, and I thought it’d be easier once I got a job at a real law firm. Then I thought it’d calm down once I learned how things worked. But with every passing month, I was still pushing harder and harder. This job never seems to get easier.

I’m not complaining – I like to work hard. I just thought that once in a while I’d get a night off. Instead I left work after eight o’clock.

Is that what a salmon feels like? Swimming upstream because he can’t help himself?

I shuffled the paper on my desk and slid a couple of files into my briefcase. I had more reading to do tonight, but first I’d feed Gabe some takeout and listen to him bitch about his retail job. Yeah, I’m definitely the one paying more rent in my relationship.

“Chris, are you still here?” I heard a voice call from outside. It was Mr. Barnes, my boss. He’s an asshole, but he also founded the firm. Please, please don’t ask me to work late.

“Yes sir,” I said, poking my head up above my cubical. “What can I do for you?”

“Make sure you’re in at seven tomorrow. I need you to brief me on the Harrison case before we start taking depositions. Make sure you re-read the whole file tonight.”

“Yes sir,” I said, sighing inside. I guess tomorrow was going to be another sleep deprived blur.

“Good man,” Mr. Barnes said, clapping me on the shoulder. “You’re on the fast track kid, keep it up and you’ll get that corner office.”

I grabbed another thick stack of papers from my desk and shoved them into my briefcase. I thought I left homework behind in law school, but it turns out I’m constantly taking more home with me. But that’s what happens, and I wasn’t going to give up now.

“I’m living my dream,” I muttered to myself quietly. “I’m living my dream.”

“Hey, Cory!” Mr. Barnes called out, walking towards a cubical across the aisle.

“Mr. B!” said a young blond man, looking unfairly fit and toned in his dress shirt. I don’t even know how Cory Clarke got a job here. He finished law school near the bottom of his class, he takes a two hour lunch so he can workout at the company gym, and he’s constantly needing help to get his work finished.

But he’s got this frat boy persona that makes all the old guard here love him. All these old men treat him like he’s the prodigal son.

“Don’t work too hard,” Mr. Barnes laughed, giving Cory a pat on the back. “If you need assistance, Simmon’s is at your disposal,” he said, pointing back towards me.

A minute later, Mr. Barnes was gone like a whirlwind, or whatever weather phenomenon gives you a headache.

“Bro, that guy’s awesome,” Cory laughed, probably hoping the boss was still in earshot.

“Yeah, he’s great,” I said sarcastically. I hefted my briefcase dramatically.

“So what, you got a heavy night,” Cory shrugged. “Look dude, you just need to brownnose a little more. You gotta get the senior guys to like you. Stop being such a little prick all the time and they’ll stop torturing you.”

“They’re not torturing me,” I sighed. “They’re just giving me what I can handle.”

“No offence bro, but the bags under your eyes say you’re not handing it.”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” I said. “Now I gotta go. Goodnight Cory.” I took off for the elevators at a brisk walk.

“See you tomorrow Stanley,” I said, waving as I rushed past the security desk. I poked at the elevator button, tapping my foot and waiting for it to arrive.

“G’night Mr. Simmons,” he said, glancing up from his newspaper. “Don’t work too hard, eh Chris?” he added, giving me an encouraging grin. My boss might work me to the bone, but Stanley at the security desk always looks out for us peons.

I gave a smile and hoped the doors would open soon.

“Once upon a time, Gabe Simmons found a genie,” I heard a voice say behind me.

“What?” I asked, turning back to face Stanley.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh, sorry,” I said. “I thought I heard you say something about my husband.”

“Nope. How is Gabe doing anyhow?” Stanley asked.

“He’s alright,” I said, glancing at my watch. The elevator gave a ‘ding’ and opened behind me.

“Alright, go see your man,” Stanley laughed, giving me a huge grin. “And Chris, if you’re hearing voices... it’s okay to take a night off.”

“I wish I could,” I said, thinking about the stack of documents that filled my briefcase.

“Alright, well, you can’t say I didn’t try,” he said. “Take it easy son.”

I pushed through the revolving door and walked through the plaza, still unsure what had happened. I could have sworn I heard someone say something about Gabe. If it wasn’t Stanley playing a dumb prank, who was it?

I was hurrying down the deserted street when I heard it again.

“Gabe was waiting at home for his husband Chris. Chris was always so busy, working as a lawyer. Gabe wished that Chris would learn to relax and have a little more fun in life.”

I glanced around. Nobody. It was too late for office workers, but too early for drunks. And definitely too early for a breakdown.

Maybe I was losing it. It’s not unheard of – in law school, they were always giving lip service to our mental health. First year lawyers crack all the time.

Brian – the guy who used to have my job – apparently he teaches kite surfing in Peru now.

Maybe Stanley was right. Maybe I should knock off early tonight, get a full eight hours of sleep, come in early tomorrow to get through these papers. If I hit bed right after supper, I could be up by 5:30 and in the office by 6:30.

“But Gabe didn’t just want Chris to relax. What Gabe really wanted – he finally admitted to the genie – was for his husband Chris to give up being a lawyer and become a full-on stereotypical bro,” the voice said.

Great, not only am I hearing voices, I’m hearing voices with a stupid sense of humour. What a joke. And the voice kept going.

“Gabe didn’t care about the money or the prestige like Chris did,” the voice intoned. “Gabe wanted Chris to pin him down and fuck his ass with the impossible energy that comes from hyped-up macho virility. He wanted his husband to be a parody of raw and rugged masculinity.”

I stopped and looked all around. Was Cory hiding behind some bush, throwing his voice? But how would he know Gabe’s name – we never got personal? And what were they even talking about? Sure, I knew Chris liked bros when they’re in pornos, but...

What the fuck? No way would he prefer some idiot bro to a hardworking lawyer.

And even if it was true, that didn’t make it possible. Was someone was gonna jump out from behind a tree and zap me with their magic wand? This was reality, not fantasy.

Absolutely impossible.

Just like the voice in my head.

“Chris didn’t believe in magic,” the voice said, continuing its monologue. “But belief doesn’t matter. Magic doesn’t care if you believe in it. Even if you think cars are a myth, you can still get hit crossing the road.”

That bothered me. Not only was I cracking up, I was making a half-decent argument against my own beliefs.

“The genie agreed to help Chris and Gabe,” the voice said. “Chris decided to ignore the genie, completely oblivious to the changes in his life. Gabe understood exactly what was happening and was fully aware of any change. The genie told Gabe that if things went too far, Gabe just had to rub the magic lamp again and the changes would stop.”

It had to be stress. It just had to be. Maybe I could talk Gabe into rubbing my shoulders. This was no different from that time I studied all night for a final and thought someone was hiding under the bed.

I tried to forget about my hallucination and focus on picking up some takeout. There’s a restaurant near our apartment that does a good roast chicken with greens, and they don’t take too long. I fished my cell phone out of my pocket and was halfway through dialing when I heard the voice again.

“As Chris decided on supper, he realized that he doesn’t need to be so uptight all the time. He can make choices that are fun and convenient, instead of conventional and responsible.”

What a weird thing for my subconscious to come up with. I don’t think of myself as uptight – just appropriate. The right tool for the right job. And right now, late for supper...

I sniffed the air and took in a delicious smell. It made my mouth water. Pizza.

Hell yeah, that’s exactly what I needed right now.

I had to ring the bell at the counter before anyone noticed me.

“Hello sir,” said a middle-aged guy, hustling out of the back. “What can I get you?”

“Can I get a meatlovers?” I said automatically, staring at the menu. “Large. To go.”

“Sure, sure,” said the guy behind the counter. He punched it in and charged my card.

“Five minutes.”

“Thanks.”

I looked around the pizza place. It had a greasy vibe, and the fluorescent lights weren’t helping it. I decided to stand off to the side, rather than risk sitting in a puddle of tomato sauce. My suit didn’t need an emergency trip to the dry cleaners.

“Chris likes it when people respect him,” the voice said. Finally something I could agree with. “As he stood, waiting for his pizza, he realized that he was always so stilted and uncomfortable when he spoke to people. He decided he preferred being liked to being respected.”

I had to admit, I wasn’t loving this voice in my head. It seemed like all it did was neg on me. And what was the difference even? If people were respectful, that meant they liked me. I was always respectful to the people I like.

I spent a few minutes lost in thought. People liked me, right?

I mean, it’s not like I’m the life of the party or anything, but I try to be friendly. I remember birthdays. I bring in donuts. And yeah, it seemed like everyone at the firm liked Cory better than they liked me, but that didn’t mean his fratboy persona made him a better lawyer.

“Here’s your pizza!” the guy said from behind the counter, sliding a box across. God, it smelled good. I haven’t had a meatlovers pizza since... before college at least.

“Thanks bro,” I called to the guy, giving him the nod. I grabbed the box, but not before I stuffed a twenty dollar tip into the tip jar. He returned my nod and grinned goodbye.

See dude? People like me.

I just about made it home before I heard that voice again. Seriously – my keys were in the door. C’mon brain, gimme a fuckin’ break.

“Chris was always too worried about keeping up appearances. He cared too much about what other people thought of him. He always wore suits and spoke formally. As Chris opened his apartment door, he realized that it was more important to be comfortable than to be admired.”

I fumbled with my keys but eventually I got the door unlocked. Our apartment isn’t big, so it only took a second before I realized that Gabe wasn’t alone. Gabe was on the couch, and across the room there was a muscular man sitting in the chair, dressed in tight jeans and an even tighter t-shirt.

“Oh, hey, this is uh...” Gabe said before trailing off.

I kicked off my painful shoes. Those wingtips pinched my fuckin’ feet. Man, even my socks were itchy.

“I’m a genie,” the well muscled man said, like it was a normal thing to say. “Your husband found my lamp by the ocean, and now I’m telling him a little story to grant his wish. Don’t worry about me.”

“Hey bro, good to meet ye’,” I said, fist bumping the genie.

“Sup.”

“Hey stud,” I said, giving Gabe a peck on the cheek and handing off the pizza. “Give me a minute, I just wanna change my clothes.”

I reached up to loosen my tie and pop the top button. Fuck, my office dress code sucks. My boss insists that everyone wears a suit – except Stanley of course. Nobody thinks a security guard should wear a suit. Being a cog in the corporate machine fuckin’ blows.

“Uh... yeah, we’ll be out here?” he said, giving the genie a look. I don’t know why he kept looking at the guy – so what, there’s a genie chilling in our front room. It’s good to have friends.

“Relax dude,” the genie said. “He knows I’m here, but he’s not gonna give a shit that I’m here.”

I walked into the bedroom and dropped my tie on the floor. I unbuttoned my shirt and left it in a pile with my jacket. My pants followed a moment later. By the time I was just in my boxers, I almost felt comfortable. I dropped those too.

We’ve got a walk-in closet – one of the few high points of our tiny apartment – and my half is packed with comfy clothing. I picked my favourite pair of red track pants with a white stripe down the side. They really hug my ass and show it off. Then a baggy workout tee with cutoff sleeves. I like that one because it makes my shoulders look decent and it hides the beer belly I’ve been growing.

Finally – I felt more like myself.

Fuck socks. I walked out barefoot and joined Gabe on the couch. He was giving me a wide-eyed look.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, flipping the pizza box open and grabbing a slice. Gabe shoved a plate at me before it dripped on the couch.

“Uh, nothing. Just surprised to see you wearing something like that,” Gabe said. He sounded like he was walking on eggshells.

I glanced down at my shirt. It was something I got at a law conference a few years back, but cutting the sleeves off had made it way more comfortable. Honestly, I’m surprised Gabe would say that.

“It’s one of my favourite shirts,” I shrugged.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course,” Gabe said, shaking his head.

I ignored Gabe’s weirdness and flipped on the TV. I know it’s so cliche, the lawyer likes to watch legal dramas, but whatever.

“Chris always felt like he had to be the smartest person in the room,” the genie said. Man, he sounded a lot like that voice in my head. “His intellect was how he proved that he had value. He was always showing off – the chess set on his coffee table, the legal dramas in his Netflix queue... it was all fake. As he flipped through the TV menu, he realized that he didn’t need to prove himself to anyone. Chris stopped worrying about looking smart.”

Whatever the genie dude was going on about, it was time to eat some pizza and watch my show. I scrolled down the TV list past all those boring legal dramas. They didn’t need to push those – I get enough of that shit in the office.

Instead I found the reality TV section.

There’s this show I’m fuckin’ addicted to. It’s called “Straight to the Top” and it’s where a bunch of gay dudes and one straight guy compete for some ladies attention. It’s total trash, but bro, I can’t stop watching.

“Bro, have you seen this before?” I asked, grinning at the genie guy. “There are like... the hottest fuckin’ dudes on this show. You gotta go back and start from the start. Last week they voted out Parker – man, he was cut like a greek god.”

“No, I haven’t seen it yet,” the genie said, giving me a small grin.

“Okay, you gotta check it out. This is Riley,” I said, pointing to a beefy hunk on screen. “I’m like... totally sure he fucked Parker in the showers last episode. The only reason he’s still on is he won the immunity challenge.”

“Uh Chris... you’ve seen this before?” Gabe asked.

“Not funny babe,” I said, rolling my eyes at him. “This is our fuckin’ show. Just cause we got company doesn’t mean you gotta be prissy.”

I chomped on my pizza and stared at the TV. They’d made a new rule where all the guys had to go shirtless and I was loving it. Like... Connor’s pecs aren’t huge or anything, but damn if he’s not the bro next door.

I kept glancing over at Gabe. He wasn’t into it like usual, but whatever. He was having some kind of weird ass night.

“Chris always used to be stressed out, but as he watched his show, he realized that he didn’t need to be tense all the time. Chris realized it was better to be playful and silly.”

Gabe was staring at me, like he was trying to see through my skin.

“What’s wrong bae?” I said to Gabe, putting down my plate.

“Nothing,” he said, trying to pretend like he was watching TV. I know my husband – if he was actually watching, he’d be drooling way harder. I mean, they were they were doing a recap of last episode, with the stripping competition, and Riley was grinding his hips perfectly.

“What, you want some of that?” I asked, jumping up and grinding my hips in the air for my husband. “C’mon bro, is that what’s bugging you? You wanna dance?”

I reached my hands up behind my head, landing them just above the brim of my cap. I flexed my abs as best as I could, given how hard I was laughed. I smirked, enjoying Gabe’s look of lust as I gave him a silly little show.

“This is so weird,” Gabe said, stunned. I laughed. My husband’s a wackjob.

“Chris always used to neglect his body,” the genie said behind me. “But since he’s realized he can relax, he’s also realized he loves to workout. He lifts at the gym for at least an hour every day and he works hard at building muscle. By combining exercise with a rigorous diet, Chris has transformed himself into a total thirst trap.”

“C’mon Gabe, don’t waste a cheat meal,” I teased, grabbing my slice and inhaling another greasy bite. God I love pizza. I wish I could have it more, but you gotta pay for abs somehow, y’know? As much as I love carbs, I love my shredded physique more.

I glanced down to admire my body. I’d cut the sides off this shirt so you could see my meaty pecs and tight abs through the holes. It wasn’t a shirt, more like a scrap of fabric. I mean, what’s the point of working for all this muscle if you’re not gonna show it off, right?

Gabe ate a bite of pizza, but he really couldn’t take his eyes off my chest.

“Shit...” he whispered. “You’re built like a fuckin’ model.”

“Yeah babe,” I said with a laugh. “Did you just notice? You, my lucky boy, get to see this shit every night.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m gonna.”

I kept dancing, even though the TV show had moved on from their stripping challenge. I turned to watch the screen, swishing my ass back and forth for Gabe. I knew he wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off my tight ass. On the show they were doing some sort of pushup challenge. Man... reality TV pushes my buttons so hard.

“Chris spent his whole life prioritizing other peoples needs,” the genie said, groping himself as he enjoyed my dance. “First his parents, then his teachers, and now his bosses. As Chris danced, he realized he wasn’t dancing for Gabe. He realized that he was dancing for himself, and he loved to fulfill his own needs. His own desires.”

I turned again, facing Gabe. Damn, he was handsome. Sure, I’m carved from granite, but Gabe’s always driven me wild, ever since we met in college. I moved closer to him, taking his plate and setting it aside as I continued my dance.

Gabe just stared like his brain had stalled out.

I got closer and closer until I was giving him a full on lap dance. With my muscle only inches from him, he seemed to snap out of his trance. I moaned as he ran his hands over my pumped up biceps. Oh yeah bae, squeeze my fuckin’ tits. My cock was peeking out of my track pants, and he was giving it a hungry look.

Fuck yah. Suck me off bro. You know I want it.

I stripped off my tank while he pushed down my pants, practically falling over himself to jump on my cock. It’s been like... way too long since I got blown. It’s been days! Gabe’s one hell of a cocksucker tho, so we were making up for lost time.

I grabbed his hair and guided him along my pole. Some dudes claim I’m selfish. I just know what I want.

And right now I wanted to fuck Gabe like there’s no tomorrow.

I pushed him off my dick. He looked confused until I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to his feet.

“We’re goin’ to the bedroom bro,” I said with a shit-eating grin.

Gabe nodded eagerly and moved towards the door.

“Mind if I come watch?” the genie asked hopefully. He’d pulled his cock out while Gabe was sucking me off, and he looked like he was enjoying himself A LOT. Hot.

“Sure thing bro,” I said, waving him forward. The genie picked a small metal lamp off the coffee table and followed after us. Inside the bedroom, he sat on our dresser and continued to stroke his cock.

I pushed Gabe down onto the bed and tugged his pants down around his ankles. He flipped himself eagerly, shoving his ass up for easy access. He was eager – acting like I hadn’t fucked him in months.

“I’m gonna fuck you now bro,” I said, rubbing lube into his hole.

“Yeah... fuck me hard,” he begged. “Fuck me so hard.”

I pushed my cock head into his hole, going slow until he got used to me inside. Then I started pounding him hard, making him whimper under me as I tore apart his ass.

“Chris is such a bro,” the genie moaned, jerking his cock furiously. “As Chris fucked his husband Gabe, he realized that bros like him really only fuck other bros. Gabe’s eyes grew wide as he felt himself transforming into a bro too.”

“Wait? What?” Gabe called up from under me. “No, I don’t wanna be a...”

I pounded his ass even harder. The genie was legit right. Gabe was such a nerd sometimes, and I love that little nerd, but a hot bro should be with another hot bro.

“Gabe’s ass swelled up with muscle and fat. The rest of his body grew, every muscle plumping to perfection,” the genie laughed. Under me, I could feel Gabe’s ass gripping my cock tighter. His shoulders get broader and rounder. His lats flared out, giving him that V he always wanted. And those thick arms... bro had lifted hard for those arms.

“Fuck yeah bro!” I cried out, slapping his swole ass to the rhythm of our fuckfest.

“No, genie... give me the lamp!” Gabe shouted. He was reaching for the little metal thingy the genie carried, trying to grab it. Too bad for him – with my cock pinning him to the bed, he couldn’t reach it.

“All Gabe had to do was rub the lamp,” the genie teased. “But he couldn’t reach it. Instead, he felt his thoughts leak out, replaced with slower, simpler, hornier ones.”

“Oh yah, that’s hot,” I laughed. “C’mon brah, you’re gonna be a bro like me!”

“I don’t wanna be a bro!” Gabe yelled.

“Everyone wants to be a bro,” I laughed. Gabe was taking so much more of my cock, now that his ass was thick and juicy. I loved the way it squeezed my cockhead.

“No way bro, I don’t wanna bro!” he cried.

“You and me bro! We’re two hot fuckin’ bros!” I screamed. Who cares about the noise complaints, a beast like me can’t hold it in.

Underneath me, Gabe’s bones popped and locked into place. He was so fuckin’ hot. All muscle and ass. He was wearing his favourite jersey and his rugby shorts were pushed down to his ankles. His backwards cap was twisted to the side, his whole head shaken from the force of my thrusts.

“Bro, this is so fuckin’ weird!” he said, sounding less upset. I guess he was confused or whatever.

“No way brah, this is so fuckin’ great,” I laughed.

“Hell yeah bro,” he laughed back. “Slap my ass. Fuck me bro!”

He moaned loudly as I pushed into him again. It was so hot, me thrusting my cock, him repeating the same shit over and over. “Slap my ass,” he’d moan. “Fuck me bro! Fill my bro ass with your hot cum!”

I held out as long as I could, but soon I gave him his wish, filling his guts with my stud cream.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum bro!” he screamed, bucking his hips too. I could hear him gasping ragged breaths as each spurt of hot cum hit the sheets. His muscles were spasming, letting go of all his stress and tension.

“Fuck that was sick,” I moaned, collapsing next to him on the bed. My balls were dry, at least for right now. When you live with a bro like Gabe, you get hard a lot.

“Hell yea bro,” he laughed. “High five.”

Our hands slapped together as the afterglow sucked me into darkness.

I was floating in bliss when I thought I heard that voice again.

“Chris used to be a lawyer,” it said in the distance. “But when he woke up, he realized that’s not his job. Instead of a lawyer, Chris works security at concerts. He loves his job – it’s just hanging out and looking intimidating.”

By the time I got my eyes open, the genie dude was like... gone. Whatever – Gabe and I don’t need a genie. I got him. He’s got me.

We’re perfect for each other.

Yeah, whatever, maybe some guys have more money or bigger apartments – but how many of them get to sink their cock into an ass like Gabe’s? Twice a day?

Gabe and me, we’re living a great life. We do everything together – hitting the gym, fucking like animals, even eating lucky charms and playing video games. Our insta keeps getting bigger and bigger – maybe soon we’ll land some sponsors.

And we’re gonna get sponsors. We’re so fuckin’ hot, we NEED sponsors, you understand?

Maybe you saw that picture of us at Pride last year? The one that went viral? We’re both wearing those rainbow booty shorts and our muscle is all glittered up? Matching pink snapbacks and white Oakley’s?

I’m the one with the rainbow tribal tat. Gabe’s got the unicorn.

Lots of those influencer types hype up their life online, but our offline life is just as cool. I work for a security company that does all these concerts and stuff. I’m the guy in the tight black tee and the comfy pants, keeping all the screaming fans away from pop stars. I gotta tell you, once the show is done and my shift is over, I always sneak back for a selfie and an autograph. This job has PERKS!

And those pop stars... they’re not all straight. Sometimes I get slipped an extra hundred to fuck ‘em in their dressing room. It happens more than you think.

Gabe gets super jealous of my job. He works at this laser tag place in the mall, mostly serving corporate types who are ‘team building’. You know the kind of guys – all work, no fun? Like they think two hours at the laser tag place is gonna change who they are.

I mean... I really shouldn’t tell you, but I trust you bro... sometimes Gabe does a little magic on them.

He’s got this lamp thingy he found by the ocean, and I swear to god, when you rub it this genie pops out. And you can wish for anything! We don’t use it on ourselves – I’m not dumb. Our lives are awesome. But sometimes when a random group of wound up accountants goes in there.. well, a tight knit band of hotties comes out.

All the way out. You get me?

Like they fuck each other. In the ass.

How it works is Gabe makes a wish and the genie tells him a story. Once upon a time, there were a bunch of lawyers... that kind of shit.

And the genie talks about each guy in there. The boss is a muscled up bottom. The intern is a big dicked stud. It’s not the most original story, but it’s one of my favourites.

Gabe wipes the security footage after, but he always keeps a copy for us. Sometimes we beat eachother off and watch some tightass desk jockey hulk out into a horny gay bodybuilder.

I love the look in their eyes when they realize life’s all about fucking.

When they realize that now, their life’s all about cock.

When they realize they don’t gotta stress.

Cuz that’s it. Their world rocks.

The End.