Episode 173: Movie-shaped
Added 2022-06-20 14:01:04 +0000 UTCFantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore
Well, here we are. After actual years of filming delays, author controversies, and a theatrical release we didn't feel like spending money on, we've finally watched the third and hopefully final entry in the Fantastic Beasts series. Thankfully, for as predictably awful as it is, it's awful in some very unpredictable ways--and per tradition, we have an episode here for you longer than the movie itself. We discuss its bonkers ideology (weirder than the last movie, somehow!), its cute animal body count (shockingly high!) and so much more.
Comments
Having listened now - I think in the same way that it is movie-shaped, the characters are very much just character-shaped? Which is at least partially due to how awkward it is that Tina's missing from the movie. Cause usually if the love interest isn't back for a sequel you'd just sorta awkwardly move on and replace them, except here they don't do that and... also her sister is still here, for some reason? So everything feels off to begin with. Most of the good guys are kinda just around for the sake of being good, cause any motivations they had got resolved in the last movie. Newt's only here because there's a beast to transport. Theseus is really just there to be there, and doesn't even really get "I want revenge because Leta died". Instead Yusuf gets that, which... is honestly pretty bizarre given how everything around how they were related that came up last time actually worked? Him losing his memory of her is treated as a significant sacrifice when it was... what, a day? Still can't tell if that stuff was supposed to be Queenie making something up to help him spy on Grindewald or not. On that note, Queenie's positioned as if it should be inherently obvious that she regrets what she's done and is atoning for it by (extremely vaguely) undermining Grindewald. But instead it really just feels like, after what is apparently either days or 5 years, entirely unclear, it's just that... the adrenaline rush ran off and oh *right* this guy's a weird creep who wants to *kill* muggles, not let you *marry* them, shit, whoops. Which is not exactly character development. Meanwhile Jacob, who deserves a better movie, is extremely just here to suffer needlessly, up until the point of being literally tortured. And I guess he's also there to join Lally in inexplicably attending dinners with the most important people in the entire wizarding world, even though the guy who vouched for them just got tossed into bug prison? Like Lally's cool (though not much of a developed character), so sure, but that part felt like it was where heist-style hijinks would have made way more sense? And then everything about Credence just kinda blandly peters out after 2 movies of buildup, with the character he had the most connection to last time just being totally MIA (and I mean it's probably for the better that Nagini not be around, all things considered, but still). The only good part of the stuff about him is that the only thing they ended up adding to Dumbledore's tragic backstory was "Ariana was explicitly an obscurial", as I pretty sure we were going to get some ~fucked up info~ about what happened to her that meant Credence would be her kid. Really the only character who has, like, clearly defined beliefs/motivation/goals here is just Grindewald. Which really stands out in a movie that's uhhh about saving a political election, since we somehow don't learn literally *anything* about the other candidates past "it seems like they are probably not wizard Nazis"? I mean, we know Santos is 1. "pure of heart" (but fuck the other candidate I guess? that's gotta sting), and 2. the only person willing to do anything to stop someone from being publicly tortured, but that's about it. I don't think anyone even says something along the lines of "actually, it's bad that some of you were just cheering for a war" or "we should not want to kill the muggles"? The non-zombie deer chose someone else so clearly we're fine now, please forget both that and how the world government just claimed there was actually 0 evidence against the guy who had supposedly done stuff so bad that they previously cut off his tongue so that he couldn't do more sicko murders. I guess at least Wizard America loosened up so that the extremely questionable wedding can happen at the end? I think? Who can say. My brain is fizzing.
deepFlaw
2022-06-26 01:14:58 +0000 UTCI have not listened yet but I have just finished watching the big movie, and. I just need to say I cannot believe that’s what this ended up being about. Or not about. Mostly not about. What was this movie even about? (…what did any of those people even believe in?) I will wait to comment more after listening, but the other thought burning in my brain right now is that so little is established about anything that I don’t even know what year this movie is actually set in. Cause I glanced at Wikipedia after watching and it said 1932, which confused the hell outta me cause there’s a scene in the movie that implies the first movie was only a year ago, not 6. But the newspapers says 1932. So. Now we’re just arbitrarily advancing year numbers so that we can gradually fill the gap I guess.
deepFlaw
2022-06-25 18:22:11 +0000 UTC
