The Harem on the Hill (Part XX)

Tabitha screams unabated.  She certainly has a healthy set of lungs.  Miles from civilization, you aren't worried about anyone hearing her cries; however, her wild-eyes are concerning.  A cornered animal is a dangerous animal.

Tina looks to you as if awaiting a code to shut off an alarm.   You merely shrug.  "This is your show," you say.

"Tabitha," Tina says calmly.  "Tabitha, let me explain."

Tina repeats the refrain in a forceful tone that belies her size.  It's commanding yet motherly, and, most importantly, it works.  Tabitha's shrieks fade and her heaving chest relaxes as if her DDs were slowly losing power.  Although a part of you was hoping for a good old-fashioned cat-fight, you're impressed nevertheless.   

"I know this is confusing," she continues.  "I was scared, too, when I arrived." 

As she speaks, Tina extends her hand behind her back.  It looks like she wants you to ‘slap her five’ like one of those 70s sitcoms, but it quickly dawns on you what she really wants.  You dig discreetly in your pocket and remove a thin copper bracelet— identical to the one adorning Tina’s wrist the last few months—and place it in her open palm. 

"Do you recognize this man?" Tina says, tilting her head towards you.  You smile awkwardly, stifling the urge to wave.

Tabitha nods.

"I thought you might.  Now, look around you."

Tabitha glances around.  Vibrant garden flora.  Palm trees.  A patterned Travertine drive circling beneath a columned carport big enough for four vehicles.  To Tabitha, it must look like a tropical resort.  All that was missing was a valet to take her keys and guide her to her room.

That's where Tina came in.

"Tabitha, you’ve been chosen to participate in a kind of reality show." 

Tabitha's eyes ping-pong between you both.  "Like 'The Bachelor'?"

"Yes!" Tina exclaims, her face beaming.  "Very much like that."

"Where are the cameras?" 

"Let me show you."  Tina walks around the Jeep to the passenger side, effectively trapping Tabitha.  A classic pincer maneuver. Then she extends her arm and points out cameras...real and imagined.  "There's one over the awning."  Real.  "There's one in the plant potter."  Imagined.  "There's one affixed to that lamp."  Real.  "And there's one embedded in the eyes of that nymph statuary."  Imagined.  Though it would've been cool.

Tina raps her metal bracelet against the passenger window.  "This is the most important one though."

Tabitha studies the circular bronze bangle through the glass. Then Tina holds up the empty one.  Matching friendship bracelets.  Tabitha rolls down the window for a closer inspection.

Her pretty face contorts as she struggles to process everything in her groggy stupor.  You can almost caption her thoughts as they careen like a drunken sailor: Could this really be a reality show?  Maybe.  Is this girl my competition?  Not impressed.  Is this guy the prize?  Wow.

Then she scowls.  Something wasn't right.  Reality shows don't steal cars and kidnap contestants.  Tabitha runs her tongue along her bottom lip, detecting a swollen spot from Tina's ambush. Fear returns to her eyes.

But before she can act on it, Tina clamps the metallic bracelet around her wrist with an incarceratory 'click' and a satisfied smirk.  

That's when the cornered animal reemerges.  Only this time she does more than scream.  

Tabitha shoves open the passenger door and connects hard with Tina, sending her sprawling.  In an instant, she's sprinting down the drive.  Fast.  Apparently, the conk to her head (or whatever Tina had done) wasn't going to slow her down any more than the pudge recently accumulated around her midsection.  

You pull your cellphone from your pocket and swipe away.  As much as you want to admire Tabitha's bulbously bounding backside, you don't have time.  In a few seconds, she'll disappear down the crest of the hill.  That could create problems.

Stepping toward the back of the Jeep, you wait until Tabitha cuts across a grassy area before pressing a button that freezes her mid-stride.  Fortunately, the fescue comes to her rescue, cushioning her subsequent tumble.  Apart from green knees and elbows, she should be fine.

Suddenly, there's a blur of motion beside you as Tina snatches the phone from your hand and bolts down the hill.  

"Tina!"

She doesn't stop.  You have no choice but to race after her.  She's fast too...but unlike Tabitha, Tina's poundage hasn't been mitigated by hours on the treadmill.  You'll catch her before she reaches the gate.

Only she doesn't head for the gate.                

"Fucking bitch!"  Tina screams and points your phone towards Tabitha like a remote control. The ravishing redhead contorts violently as Tina rushes up, prepared to do more damage. Physical.  Verbal.  Electrical.  Probably all three.  Fortunately, you arrive a second later, wrapping your arms around Tina from behind and lifting her with a bear hug.  

"Drop it!" you yell.  Although crippled of the ability to navigate its on-screen buttons, Tina clutches your phone defiantly.  "Drop it," you command again.  You sound as if you're scolding a dog that's run off with a pork chop.  Regrettably, your timbre is less firm than your wood, which stiffens as Tina wriggles against you. 

Tina finally drops the device and you deposit her, ass-first, to the ground--her inelegant dismount having more to do with her increased girth than anger on your part.  You arch your back and catch your breath.  She's definitely upped in weight-class since the last time you carried her. 

Tina huffs in the grass, alternating contemptuous glances between you and Tabitha.  You retrieve your phone and check her victim.  She's breathing and, impressively, still semi-conscious, moaning softly as if waking from a nightmare.  

You turn towards Tina.  What do you do/say?