Blog and stuff

Yes, Hello, Yes. I’m writing a blog because it has been a hot minute, filling you in on what I’ve been up to and such.  

Firstly and mot importantly, a bush I the graveyard is gone! WOW! CHANGE! I HATE IT! 

The British sun has finally shooken itself free of the damp frost that plagued this winter! My spirit has risen like a dandelion and I have bloomed a tiny little blossom of hope, yes I am feeling GOOD! I’m eating well, my self care is great right now and I’ve had a bit of a personal break-through regarding my eating disorders. Maybe one day I will write about my struggles and journey with my ED, it’s certainly very wild and interesting but it’s also long and very personal so I think it’s best something I take the time to pour a level of tact into sharing. A brain dump Blog post doesn’t really do it. 

You probably noticed that I have not done anything on my cartoon in a while. I’m both sad and disappointed in myself about this… I think? It’s kinda hard to really explain my feelings around it. It’s all there still, just waiting like a pile of paperwork on the table waiting for me to get back around to working on it but for some reason I just haven’t. Thinking about it makes me feel something akin to dread. It’s not dread, I’m quite proud of the bit’s of it I’ve done so far and looking back over it is kinda cool because I forgot how neat the animations actually are; the problem is that my mind has now recovered from the creative burnout and it’s figuratively bulging with ideas for new projects that I want to fly into with reckless abandon, not go back and finish a project that I’ve already fully realised in my head. Also, I may have been in a bit of a weird place when I was last working on it and I kinda think it’s a bit, um how to put it? horrendously vulgar? It’s a little like when you’re really horny and you open up a sequence of increasingly kinky and deranged porn tabs; it’s very exciting when your working yourself up but once you’ve hit the climax and finished you have to shamefully view a slideshow of your despicable taste with a clear head as you close every tab. Yet, I must return to it! I invested too much time and energy into it to not see it through! If I haven’t posted any new animation bits by this time next week you are all instructed to call me a naughty girl, thank you.

I have taken a bit of break from drawing in general actually. I may have said this before somewhere but I have little periods of evolution. I feel it inside me, the larva of my creativity crawls up a leaf and weaves a chrysalis and I am left unable to draw until it bursts free into a slightly more competent larva. Well, not unable, but it’s really hard work to draw. I feel it’s close now though, which I’m excited about because I really want to draw. I have so many things I want to do, like T-Shirts. I was talking to some of you guys a while ago about t-Shirt designs, it’s fun coming up with ideas but actually realising them is not fun at all and I am a big over-thinker and under-producer; I really need to get some out even if they’re just weird and basic, my Tee-mill shop is embarrassing.

I have been doing some doodling, I wanna draw men better. I like drawing girls. I like the curvy-ness and the softness of them. I like drawing myself as a subject of rude art because I’m a pervert but I do draw other girls too, just not in lewd art because they can’t consent to being shared like I can and they are people in my mind. Truly my empathy knows no bounds. Anyway, men are not something I fussed over but I have been wanting to do some more men, I did some doodling today and I think I landed on a character design I quite like! I shall call him Jerry and I have no qualms about drawing him in lewd art because he’s a total SLUT.    

Oh and the Director thing, It’s still up in the air but promising currently :3  

Anyway, I LOVE YOU