Moonsong and Wolfstep Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Existential Crisis, But Consider… Baby?

There exists tiers to existence. The Buddhas and Gods reside high up in the heavens, Devils, Demons, and Asuras dwell low in the hells, and all throughout the Earthly Realm, in the various pieces of the world; fauna and flora, sentient and sapient, natural and supernatural, these all exist.

In the Earthly Realm, you have further tiers. Contrary to human belief, they were not the epitome of existence. Even on the Earthly Realm, there were beings higher than them and beings equal to them. Spirit Beasts, Gods of Nature, Spirits and Ghosts, there were many species sentient and stronger. Some were born so, others became so.

Beasts in particular were peculiar. Given time, given energy, given will, a simple beast could become… more. By some strange quirk, when a beast ascended, they were given knowledge, enough knowledge to begin becoming a part of society. Some used this starting point to descend into hedonistic pleasures, demonic in nature; others used it to ascend to kindly divinity, polishing their better natures.

A newly ascended beast’s first words were momentous, a waypoint that signified the crossing over from sapient to sentient. A declaration, a realization, these words were the start of a beast’s path to becoming something more.

“Ah, fuck me,” were the wolf’s first words when it woke up to realize that it had become sentient.

For the first time in its life, the wolf felt at peace with itself. No longer was there a constant split in spirit, no tug-of-war in the mind, the wolf’s body responded naturally and fluidly and thoughts flowed smoothly as a river. Even breathing felt easier now that both the beast and human inside of itself had merged to become… something. What that something was, the wolf still did not know, but it felt happy having finally unified its selves after so long of war.

At least until the events of the previous day reasserted themselves.

“...Ah, shit, I have problems.” were the next set of words the wolf muttered as the baby began to wriggle in anger and irritation. When the baby began to cry, the wolf sighed and corrected itself wryly, “Oh, I’m sorry. I mean we have problems.”

Licking the babe’s head in an attempt to soothe it, the wolf thought about life. What was past, what was to come, and what to do now. Mind freshly born, the wolf began to worry.

Happiness was fleeting in the face of knowledge. Fate truly was cruel to give the wolf unity of mind in the same instance as duty. Content with knowing, finally knowing, what it was, the Wolf mourned the loss of what it had been. It remembered being Human, a lifetime ago, but the memories were faded and corrupted, twisted in the manner that shadows from a flickering flame showed a dancing silhouette.

Knowledge of the sciences, memories of stories, things carried over, but not clear enough, not well enough. The wolf had knowledge enough to make it fear ignorance, but not enough to make it act upon the knowledge it had inherited.

To be less than a human, but more than a wolf was the curse it bore then. And now that both halves had merged… The Wolf wondered if Gods knew that blessings so easily became curses.

Now there was a child, a baby to care for. The catalyst for the unity of both sides of the wolf was now a burden, a duty to uphold. It would be so easy to abandon the baby, leave it alone and let the wolf find itself. It was one of the first thoughts the wolf had. A dark thought, a loathsome thought so alluring in its selfishness.

But thoughts only bore weight when acted upon.

“Fuck it,” was the third and final statement of that wolf that morning, a declaration to the baby as much as it was to itself, “I’m going to try anyways.”

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Swinging to and fro in its bundle, the baby marveled at the moon, full and bright and beautiful, as the wolf took it to a den, bounding over soft snow slowly melting in spring.

It should’ve been afraid. It had been afraid earlier, but a baby’s mind was empty in the way that a saucer can barely contain water. Not completely empty, but too shallow to hold much of anything useful. Of the night before, it could barely remember the quiet and hurried whispers of a mother running. It shivered at the half-memories of the silence and echoes of the log that it had been placed in. It didn’t even remember the fear of being found by a hungry wolf. The only thing it remembered in full was the warmth of fur and the beauty of moonlight.

Even now as the wolf took it from the log, the baby felt safe in its bundle.

Though the baby did wail feebly when the moon was hidden from sight as they descended into a hole. A few licks from the wolf eased its anger, and the baby closed its eyes in sullen acceptance.

“Wish I had thumbs, would make this so much easier,” the wolf grumbled as it placed the baby on the floor,  “Welcome to my abode. Not home yet. I’ll have to find someplace better, safer. This is good enough for myself, but not for both of us.”

The baby gurgled. It didn’t understand, but it liked listening to the wolf. So different from the scary quiet that the log had held.

“Hah, is this what my mother felt like, raising me by herself in that last life?” the wolf murmured to itself as it circled around three times before lying down comfortably around the baby. “Fear and uncertainty with the steadiness of duty?”

Wriggling its arms, the baby found that the cloth had loosened. Immediately, it seeked to free itself.

The wolf, not noticing, continued to ramble, “Perhaps not quite as poetic, pup, but as scary as this is, we’re in this together now. First things first, names. One for you, one for me. Time for angst later, pup.”

One arm reached out and was free. The baby giggled in happiness. So much easier! Groping around blindly, the baby grabbed the fur of the wolf.

Laughing softly, the wolf huffed at the baby, causing it to giggle, “Yes! That’s the spirit. We keep going forward,” a quick nuzzle and the wolf murmured, “Now, name’s. Names… I think you should be named… Momo. In remembrance of how I did not eat you and in the hopes that you will live half as long as those who eat those Peaches of immortality. I would never ask you to live forever, child. Just well and happy.”

The baby… Momo didn’t care. It worked on getting the other arm free and yes! It was free. Instead of grabbing fur with the other hand, the baby began slapping the wolf’s nose with happy sounds.

“Yes,” The wolf snorted, shifting its snout away from the childish play, “Momo will do just nicely for you,” Another warm puff of air made the baby sneeze,“Peach. Heh, it’s also a pun for bitch! Hopefully, you grow to appreciate my sense of humor. Or be more mature than me. Either/or is good.”

Since the wet nose wasn’t there to slap anymore, Momo began to use both hands to climb the side of the wolf. Coarse fur on-top but hiding a softer undercoat, the baby was delighted to have such a warm mat to play upon.

“As for me?” the wolf murmured, tale slapping up and down in thought, “Hm… Well, I’m feeling a bit poetic, so… Hasu. The Lotus flower. It represents reincarnation, you know you know, and I remember my past life even as I live this one.”

Sitting upright, Momo slapped both hands in baby-joy. It was so high!

“Yes, I think it’s very fitting too,” Hasu chuffed, tail thwapping in glee, “Aren’t I clever? I hope you grow to be far clever-er than me. More clever. Bleh. Words are hard, Momo.”

Raising two hands in victory, Momo reveled in being so high. Unfortunately, this unbalanced the baby and it fell backwards and off the wolf.

A small adjustment, and the wolf caught Momo, cradling the baby in its tail. Chuffing softly, Hasu smiled a wolf-ish grin, “Hasu and Momo. You and me, pup! We’ll muddle through this together!”

Nuzzling into the haunch, Momo’s happiness ended when its stomach began to hurt. The baby's minds were shallow and changed on a whim. Playtime was ending, the baby hungered and thus began to cry softly.

“Shit, you’re hungry,” Hasu muttered, panicking slightly, “Uh, what can pups… babies eat? Solids? Meat? Do I have to chew things for you? Vomit them out like a bird? Hm… You don’t cry very loud, do you?”

Not understanding that last bit, Momo nevertheless understood the challenge and began crying louder. Not by much though, but it still tried. Barely a moment had passed before the baby realized it was not working. Food was still not coming.

So the baby began biting the tail.

“Huh? What?” Hasu blinked. SIghing, the wolf flicked her tail, tumbling the baby back into the crook, “That’s not food.”

Immediately, Momo began crawling to escape, angrily and silently sulking as its demands for food were not met. Unfortunately, Hasu thwarted every attempt with a simple shift, the wolf’s body dwarfing the baby’s.

After another attempt, Hasu curled tighter, trapping the baby. Squirming for a bit and realizing there was no escape, Momo resorted to crying again.

Wincing, Hasu pleaded, “Just sleep here for now. I’ll figure something out, fast as I can, okay? I just need to figure out what you can eat and--”

Feeling softness and smelling milk, Momo quieted down and twisted, following the instinct to latch onto a nipple and begin sucking.

Hasu sighed, “Momo, dear, I don’t think that’s going to--”

A few hard sucks and Momo gurgled happily as milk flowed, sweet and thick. Uncaring of milk dribbling down its chin, the baby fed, happy again at having found milk to drink.

“Well, I guess you’d know more than I do,” Hasu sighed happily, “That’s one problem solved for now then.” Laying its head down to rest, the wolf then shot it back up with a yelp, “Wait, I’m a girl!?”

Such a sudden shift caused the nipple to slip free from the baby’s mouth. Babbling angrily, Momo slapped the wolf’s stomach twice before returning to feeding.

Rolling her eyes, Hasu smiled fondly, “I guess you’re right. My gender isn’t quite as important as food. Eat well and then sleep well. Tomorrow, we’ll search for answers.” Then the wolf laid her head down to rest.

Having played, having fed, Momo only nodded in agreement as it nodded off to sleep, trusting the wolf to take care of everything. Shallow as its mind was, the baby placed its faith in a strange-shaped parent and joined them in slumber.