[Premium Access] Samme tid et helt annet sted" / "Kan jeg bli her med deg for altid? (At the same time in a completely different place/Can I stay here with you forever?) - Group Reaction

I feel terrible for Isak here because he’s a victim of internalized homophobia. He’s been socialized, like most people, to believe in the inherent immorality, anomaly and stereotypes of gay men. Because they are often characterized in mainstream media as flamboyant and effeminate - in other words weak, of lesser value, and shameful like women in our collective patriarchal societies - he thinks ‘gay’ is synonymous with those traits and feels anxious to disavow it, or any outside suspicions of it, to preserve his sense of self and self-worth, which are tied to the social constructs of masculinity and heteronormativity. He does not want to accept the gay label because he mistakenly thinks it diminishes his masculinity and more importantly he does not want his sexuality to define him, which is sadly what most LGBTQIA members deal with. So his conversation with Eskild was extremely moving to me. It was a painfully candid, revelatory, and reflective moment for Isak. It wasn’t that he couldn’t express himself well through words up until now, it was that he was bound by these instilled homophobic beliefs, made more imminent and threatening because of his own attraction to Even, without having ever learned about the lived experiences of the LGBTQIA community and what it is they fight for, die for: equality, liberty, and human dignity.

Sally

I think the thing to remember with Isak is that he has some sort of internalised homophobia. He doesn't like who he is so therefore he bashes it. He's not talking to anyone because he's scared. Just because a country is accepting doesn't suddenly mean "Oh! I can just come out the closet no worries!" He's a 16 year old boy who hates himself, it's clear he struggles day to day. This was a big episode for Isak. It's fun hearing your theories, although it's painful at times ngl hahaha. Can't wait for more!!

Kiri

Yeah I think a lot of people forget that he is only 16 and on his own. He isn't going to be as mature dealing with everything going on in his life. I love the way Skam portrayed this because I feel like it's a realistic portrayal of how a young teen would deal with it. And Tarjei is just an amazing actor. Isak has the most growth through the seasons in this show which is why he's my favorite character.

Except Eskild😊 But then he even did everything to protect Isak, so you are right😊. There is one version of Skam that I m not so happy with because these two characters seem to have such big mouth.

Nui Tammakoon

Poor Isak... remember though that he is literally totally alone... his mom is mentally ill... his dad is took off S1, he's 16 living in an apartment with a guy he met in a gay bar when he was drunk at 2 am, all he has is his friends. he probably knows that it'll be okay.... but he doesn't KNOW... and if he's wrong then he's got NOTHING. his discussion with Eskild is so painful because Eskild is literally the sweetest guy and Isak is just so confused because he's obviously gay... but the only examples he's seen are more stereotyped so he's not sure where the fuck he fits. I love this show so much for showing the difficult stuff <3

Jessica Irene Conifer

S3 of SKAM Austin should be starting soon and it SHOULD belong to Shay and SHOULD be our version of Isak's season. SUPER EXCITED!!

Jessica Irene Conifer

Rissa, good explanation and I agree.... but some people use the terms interchangeably and some people get SUPER angry when you mix them up and some people get really rude and say hurtful shit when that's not necessary, it's so sad when you see people within the community tear each other down :( everybody needs to mind their damn manners and let people be who they are. and some people use Queer as a way of identifying as part of teh LGBTQ community without having to overexplain or overshare their orientation... it can get complex if someone is, for instance, a nonbinary aromantic pansexual who leans towards the fem side but was assigned male at birth etc....." all vaild stuff... but pretty damn wordy when just meeting someone.

Jessica Irene Conifer

Just to clarify - "bisexual" is being attracted to 2 or more genders, and "pansexual" is being attracted to people regardless of gender. The difference lies more within the way each person feels the attraction. For example, I identify as bisexual because the way I feel attracted to guys differs to the way I feel attracted to girls. Whereas for a pansexual person, the attraction is not dependent on the gender. As someone mentioned before, "queer" is often used as a general, umbrella term for those who are acknowledging that they are not straight. One of my friends identified as queer for many, many years before finally being comfortable with labelling herself as 'lesbian', because it took her that long to figure out her feelings. One of my friends doesn't really care for labels and just uses 'queer' as a general identifier.

Rissa Jacobs

lol what Pat? there are entire shows in the US (looking, queer as folk, the L word, etc) that are built ENTIRELY around queer characters. and the US has plenty of slice of life dramas. They are literally doing a US Skam version right now.

Jay Aniakor

Yes, me too. I can't stand Emma. She is so annoying. And even if they have been kissing 3 Fridays they are not a couple. Of course it was not a very good move to leave the girls on the Halloween pre party. But the girls invited themselves. Even asked Isak to meet up with him not the girls!

Elise

Oh and Eskild speach was one of the best in all of Skam, until then he was only the funny roommate, but he showed a whole other dept. PS. I don't think it's spoiler because in the show it's never really said anyway, but the creator of Skam confirmed that Even is pansexual.

Maria Buka

The only reason why I can't really blame Emma is because Isak did lead her on and hurt her, so I understand her lashing out at him, but in general it's an incredible shitty thing to say "It's 2016, get over it" to someone struggling with their sexuality, especially if you're not gay yourself so you have no direct experience of what they're going through. By telling him that thing she just made Isak feel even more "wrong", as if his insecurities and fears were stupid, while they're not, they're perfectly understandable, 2016 or not -also, the fact that literally all of your parents wouldn't be okay with you being gay just proves that what she said is bullshit: it's 2016 (19 now) and homophobia is yes, less than in the past in most country, but still very much alive, even in subtle/less violent ways (such as being okay with someone being gay as long as it's not a part of your family).

Maria Buka

Noora and Eva haven’t told anyone about what they saw on Isak’s phone

pelipeli

I still hate Emma saying "it's 2016 get out of the closet" nobody has the right to out no one

Micky pronouncing the name of the episode was actually spot on this time lmao!

Camilla L

you have to click on the word vimeo

lili

I loved the conversation about what your parents would think if you came out. That was interesting. Btw, I think in the next episode a week has passed since this episode just fyi.

Alex

I am a proud gay man and there was nothing homophobic about the Chapelle show he spoke about being pro gay several times don't be so fragile about these things I come from a place in the middle East where the kill us for being gay , so chill , and TBH if a gay guy said the exact thing David said no one would bat an eyelash I found his bid funny and enjoyable and didn't take any offense , there are a lot of ppl who are truly hatful and want us harm , so don't focus on a comedy bid that was meant to be playful

Why I can't see the video

Even though it might seem obvious to an outsider that someone is gay, never underestimate how the human brain will try and rationalise things. Like when Isak said to Eskild that even though he was with Even it didn't mean he was gay. When you hear a word like that used as an insult your whole life, it's incredibly difficult to start applying it to yourself. Not to mention that even in a progressive country like Norway, there's still more than a few homophobes, and you can never really be sure how someone will react, even people you know well and are close with.

Jordon

some poeple like to use 'queer' as a sort of umbrella term if they're not entirely comfortable using the other label, if you're a mix of a whole bunch of labels, or if you basically just know you're not straight but don't know whether gay/lesbian/bisexual/pansexual/asexual etc. would fit you, so just saying 'queer' can be a good way to say "not straight" without further specifying. it is originally a slur though, that has for the most part been re-claimed, so there are people still not comfortable with it

tova~

Even with your close friends you can’t share it all. Something you feel ashamed of, because you think it may change everything. Maybe it s easy said than done to come out. I understand Isak well as I was in the same situation. Doesn’t matter it s Norway or U.S.

Nui Tammakoon

Sorry, I need to went bc Suraj mentioned Chappelle. I can't believe we have to hear about that homophobic, transphobic man during this season. A straight man walking around wanting to say the F-word and saying it over and over, feigning obliviousness to why he's not allowed to say it and making "jokes" about trans people he's been making for years...Disgusting! And he should really watch the Lil Nas X/Kevin Hart discussion. But hey, it's all jokes... The same rhetoric is why so many of us will never dare to come out of the closet. First we have to deal with the internalized homophobia bc wherever you're born you will be told directly and indirectly that you are different, and maybe even disgusting. You saw the best example of this with the Eskild scene, most of us go trough it, many can never get passed it. Straight people have no idea how scary and paralyzing it can be every single day to be lgbtq, it doesn't matter if you're born in the most progressive city on the planet, it can be terrifying. But according to Chappelle and a lot of other people who are pushing back at people wanting to be taken seriously, we are the "ALPHABET-PEOPLE" (a term which is very commonly used by homophobes and anti-lgbtq movements) who sees ourselves as victims and can never be satisfied because we can now, since a few years back, have equal rights, get married in some countries, be less harassed and beaten, although it also still happens in my progressive neighboring country Sweden, where the n*zi party are soon the 2nd largest and is already doing changes on local levels to lgbtq people. It's like some think we are trying to take things or a space they think belong to them away and they can't share it because we are getting "so much already"? A friend was called the F-word every day in school while pushed and I'm relieved he got out of town and is alive today. This isn't at you, Suraj, I just needed to write it down bc this episode means so much to a lot of lgbtq people, and it's literally the reason why SKAM exploded all over the world.

NicL

I commented it last week at the bottom of my comment but Even is pansexual.

Badwolf

Thanks very much.

Mabel Marte Taveras

LGBT(QIA) lessons from a queer person: Q is for questioning, the Q and the A (for "ally *heavy wink*") basically exist for those who are struggling with identifying themselves under the main four letters. If you are non-binary, you are trans, no additional letter needed. Queer is an alt umbrella term, not everyone likes it because it is still used as a slur but it has been reclaimed. Pansexuality and bisexuality are the same in practice (attraction to anyone regardless of gender) so pan and bi people are both represented by the B

Pansexual people don't care what kind of gender has the person they like. by the way -what do you guys think about thing Isak said? about "mentally sick people?"

OlHa

Isak is definitely dealing with internalised homophobia and I do understand what he was trying to say to Eskild, that he doesn't fit the gay stereotype but it came out all wrong. The conversation with Eskild is one of my favourite moments of the show and Eskild handles it so well, doesn't get angry or yell, he stays calm and what he says is so important and Isak did need to hear it.

Dannielle

Yupp, the conversation about their parents (Isak and Even) is a clue..👍

Trine

Good observation about the conversation between Isak and Even. And the plastic bags contains alcohol. In Norway you bring your own alcohol to parties, a six-pack of beer or a bottle of spirit.

Ann

love your reaction but vimeo is shit, lagging all the time :(

Nina Spång