(JC3) You're A Shinigami? I Am A Shinigami! Death Note SI Early Access Chapter 1

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The night shrouded the abandoned town in a tangle of shadows, and I found myself standing on the edge of a rooftop, overlooking a quiet river that twisted through the darkness below. I felt the cold wind slap against my skin, a constant reminder of my deteriorating form—a mere shell of what I once was. It wasn't just the fleeting weight of my body that tormented me; it was the voices, the persistent whispers of my past lives grappling for control in my mind.

I let out a sigh even if it wasn't relaxed. Nor freeing for that matter.

"...What a shit show..." I muttered before pushing my hands against my stomach, my body bending ever so slightly as I coughed out more drops of blood. My vision blurred, stars and sparks filling it for a moment before it focused back onto the night sky and the dark waters below.

Each breath felt like a struggle as if the very air conspired against me. I peered out ahead of the murky river, where shadows danced mockingly, reflecting the chaos within my own mind.

This was the closest I've been to a civilisation that mirrored my first- I'd been a mere human once just like the fools I'd run into on my way here, half-lidded and confused before the memories surged back. Memories of when I'd been cast into the turmoil of Soul Society by the whims of a monster.

My life had been torn apart and reassembled into a shinigami captain, Aizen Sosuke, at a pivotal moment in existence itself. I'd known the truth of that world before I'd ever stepped foot into but even I hadn't expected what it'd turn into. A war against Balance and Eternity... one that had stretched endlessly before me, an unrelenting cycle of conflict that I'd had no place in.

'Why are you lingering here? You were meant for greatness!' Aizen Sosuke’s voice or at least what I thought of him- an amalgamation of it having festered in my mind surged through me, cool and calculating. The shinigami captain’s ambition clawed at my consciousness, a fervent reminder of the power I once wielded. 'You could have ruled Soul Society by my side! Instead, you stand here, a mere shadow in this pathetic world.'

It wasn't like I had a choice in the matter! I wanted to yell it out for him to hear, for anyone to hear and yet all that came out was another cough and more drops of blood from my broken form- the inevitable price of my convoluted existence. Thrice reincarnated, trapped in a cycle of chaos, worn down by the burden of my past lives and now stuck in a world that was rejecting me.

Laughter echoed in the depths of my mind at the thought of it, a manic and twisted chuckle that belonged to my other voice- My most recent. My worst in truth. Aizen Sosuke had been one thing, but at least he'd fought for something good. My life as The Heavenly Demon on the other hand... I had ruled with a wicked glee, weaving chaos and destruction as easily as I had spun my strings. Power had been my comfort, my identity.

But now, as my existence began to wither in this hostile world, that power lost, that numbness that clouded my morality gone, like grains of sand in an hourglass. The memories of conquest, of laughter betrayed, stirred within me, taunting me. Reminding me that for all that I'd claimed to hold the high ground, I'd been no better than the rest.

'Once a shinigami, now a mere specter,' Doflamingo’s voice echoed, dripping with mockery. 'How the mighty fall. Oh, what a spectacle!' 

He wasn't wrong, but that wasn't a voice I should take heed of, even if in the end I'd been no better than him. A conqueror who revelled in destruction across the seas, who turned the world upside down with ambition, greed, and an insatiable hunger for more. Who broke the mold, not to save a life but out of mere curiosity. His laughter was louder than whatever whispered promise Aizen held for me.

'Would he even recognise you anymore!?' Doflamingo continued. 'Do you even care!?'

In all honesty, it wasn't him I was afraid of meeting. It was the spirit that had delighted in my existence. Aizen Sosuke would understand why I did what I did to those seas- The world had been stale, and stagnant, and had needed a storm to shatter its illusions.

It was why a part of me understood that these voices weren't real even if they represented their origin to a degree- yet that representation was exactly why those two identities clashed violently within me.

Aizen’s cold, calculated drive for truth and order and Doflamingo’s reckless, flamboyant chaos wrestled endlessly. Hatred and greed rose like tides, threatening to drown the remnants of who I had been.

I was caught in the middle, a puppeteer entangled in strings of my own making, each pull reminding me of my origin.

But worse, here, in this new life, that history was met with rejection. This reality had turned its back on me, seeing only a shell of what was once a powerful force. My body was deteriorating courtesy of the King of the sordid realm above.

I didn't blame him either.

I let out another breath, surprised the last few seconds hadn't been filled with more blood on worn tiles.

The distant murmur of the river far below echoed the struggle within me- endless, relentless, and profoundly lonely. For every world I visit, I find myself growing further and further away from being understood.

Even now, in this mundane world- I could feel it, the call of something no human had any right to notice. A dark promise hovering at the fringes of my consciousness, beckoning me with a whisper.

It was that very feeling that allowed me to understand the Shinigami King currently rejecting my existence, for his own tool at the very start of my place in this world sought to claim me.

I imagined wielding that notebook, reshaping this cruel reality into something more, something of my own design.

'Take the reins; let chaos reign once more,' a voice resounded within followed by Doflamingo’s devil-may-care laughter. 'Embrace the chaos,' he purred, his voice dripping with malice. 'You crave its thrill, don’t you? There’s power in destruction- a beauty only we truly understand.'

Look at that, the voice was already learning.

'No,' Aizen countered, a cold steel threading through his tone. 'Control is paramount. Harness it to shape your destiny into something to be remembered! Let not the whims of chaos dictate your path. We must rise above!'

We? What a curious word to use... I shook my head at the thought as I felt the bile reach up my throat- It was getting faster. It was getting worse.

'Use it,' Doflamingo urged, his voice rising in a crescendo of chaotic hunger. Use what? The Death Note or this pain? I wondered. It wasn't like I had access to the damn book yet! 'Control it, and watch the world crumble at your feet! Let them cower beneath your rule!' The voice continued, uncaring of my plight.

Aizen’s cold demeanour fought back against the tempest, his words shining through. “No rash decisions. The Death Note is a tool, and you must wield it with purpose. We are not mere devils who seek panic; we are architects of destiny!” 

I could almost picture him actually saying that.

I let out a chuckle at that thought as I gripped the edges of the rooftop, the cool stone grounding me as I fought against the encroaching despair. To step forward or to vanish entirely- those were my only options. I could feel the world tipping on the edge of my choice. I took a moment, grounding myself once more. However, it didn't stop the bile of blood from spewing as I hacked out my lungs once again, my anger rising a new.

"Understanding... doesn't beget forgiveness... Shinigami!" I whispered through strained teeth. “Destiny cannot be denied,” I murmured into the night, the words a quiet challenge against the universe. "And you have chosen death for yours..."

With a deep breath, I stood tall once more, allowing the laughter of madness and wisdom to fill me. The Death Note was calling, and I would answer. This world might have rejected me, but from the ashes of my former lives, I would rise as a tempest that none could ignore. I would reclaim my place in existence, whether this realm liked it or not.

Tonight, the world would learn to fear the name of the one who stood atop the chaos—a thrice-reborn entity that would mold reality itself, wielding every fragment of ambition and hatred into something new!

And as if the very universe had heard me, I turned towards the sudden spectator that had walked up the very same stairs I had taken.

I turned to stare into the eyes of Naomi Misora and the numbers that danced above her head. The numbers that decreed the end of her life to be this very moment.

I let a smile fill my face as I took in the woman under the thralls of a Death Note, as she walked towards the edge of the rooftop, the precipice between land and the cold waters below, lifelessness in her eyes.

My instincts kicked in as I found myself understanding something new- That insight, that peek at peace and freedom was almost too much to ignore as I reached a hand out towards the woman and relinquished the last dreds of the power I'd brought with me into this world. The power that had been used and tainted by a king who failed to understand who he dealt with and with it I found peace fill my body once more.

I watched as the numbers above her grew once again. Watched as her name was crossed out of existence. Watched the light in her eyes briefly return before exhaustion took its toll and the woman fell to the floor unconscious.

Reaching a finger out, I idly noted the fact she was still breathing.

Doubt coursed through my mind as I took in her missing name with confusion. As I felt those dreds of power return ever so slowly despite having discarded it- Only this time it seemed whatever trick the Shinigami King had used in the first place wasn't something he could replicate. I wondered how far that power stretched- Was it merely the removal of one's name? The power to deny the Death Note its due? Or was it more?

At those very thoughts I felt and fought against the returning tide of memories that surged within me. Aizen’s cold, calculating ambition clashed with Doflamingo’s wild, hedonistic desire for chaos. Each persona battled fiercely within the confines of my consciousness as they too witnessed this strange occurrence. Ambition and hatred, greed and anger coiled around my thoughts like constricting vines.

'We could use this to turn this world under- To show the world that even Kira is subject to the whims of the Conqueror!' Doflamingo's voice cackled in my head.

'You possess the power to alter the fates. Do not squander it for anything less than a seat at the head of the table!' Aizen elected to respond to the other.

'Who cares about their rules?' Doflamingo interjected, his voice a vibrant flame dancing against the chill. 'Rewrite their story! Burn it to the ground if you must! Power is meant to be seized not requested!'

'Claim it!' Aizen commanded, his voice sharp. 'Bend this world to your will—a canvas upon which you can paint our legacy!' 

For a moment it felt like the voices had stopped pretending altogether.

'Chaos is the only true freedom!' The voice of Donquixote Doflamingo suddenly screamed out into my head, his laughing echo stirring the hunger for destruction that lay in my core. 'Unravel their world, twist it into something new-

"Enough!" I screamed unable to take it any longer and instead of allowing them to pull at my threads, I let the tendrils of ambition coil around me. The laughter and the control, the chaos and the balance of my own fucking mind- they were mine to command!

I was a soul forged in chaos, I was the soul that broke the mold, that broke the Balance and the Empty Thrones. And in that moment I realised what it was exactly that the Shinigami King truly feared.

With a chuckle of my own, my gaze turned up from the sleeping woman towards the night sky, I let a wicked grin sculpt itself across my face.

“Destiny cannot be denied,” I repeated myself, this time with a laugh.

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Will be released for free (hopefully) on the 12/12/2024