DoD - Ch.201b - Decisions - (Patreon Exclusive)

=::= Jace Wheeler's PoV =::=

"Wow," I frowned as it all sank in. "So that's ah..."

My voice trailed off and I slowly shook my head as I glanced around one more time. The small white room was completely featureless, there weren't any doors or windows, no way in or out. There wasn't any obvious source of light either, but I could see just fine.

Not that there was much to look at, what with the room being completely featureless. Apart from myself and Jenny the only other things in there were those two words floating in mid-air off to my left that read, "Patient Briefing"

Honestly my first thought when I found myself here was the whole thing had to be some sort of bizarre dream. Not that I'd ever had any dreams like that before.

Jenny gave me a sympathetic look, "I know it's a lot to take in Mr. Wheeler. And while I did say time is compressed in here, it isn't infinite. You will have to make a decision sooner or later."

"Right," I frowned. Then I grimaced as I admitted, "Honestly if I hadn't already seen what happened with Cam last year, I wouldn't have believed a word of it. It also makes a lot of sense of some really strange stuff my mom said at the time, both to and about Rebecca Piper."

Then as an afterthought I added, "And please just call me Jace. I've never really done the 'Mister Wheeler' thing, that was always more my dad's style."

The pretty young woman nodded, "Very well Jace. Unfortunately I'm not able to discuss other patients, even if you're already familiar with them."

"Right," I repeated myself. "Sorry about that."

She gave me another sympathetic smile then she prompted me, "So about your decision -"

I grimaced again, "I know. Like you said though, it's a lot to take in."

And it really was.

First there was the news about my medical situation. It almost sounded cliché but I didn't even remember getting hit. And my body looked and felt fine here in this strange white room, so it was almost hard to believe I was actually hurt. According to Jenny though, I was literally on the verge of death. My body probably looked like I'd been through one of the big combine harvesters they used out on the farms. My right arm was gone, right leg hanging on by a couple tendons, a dozen holes in my chest, and almost two dozen broken bones, including my jaw and a couple in my skull. I really hated to think of what all that had to feel like.

Fortunately I was never going to find out. From what the young lady said, I was so badly hurt there was no way I'd regain consciousness. If I wasn't sealed in here with her then I'd probably be dead in another ten minutes. Or I could let her use her fancy tech to rebuild me a brand new body from scratch. Then I'd wake up in perfect health, without so much as a scratch on me. The only catch was...

"Sorry Jenny, I just keep thinking about Cammie's situation," I frowned. "I've known her for years. And knowing what she looked like before, then seeing her come back as a pretty little catgirl was... Well to be honest it actually wasn't as much of a shock as some folks might think. Not to anyone who took the time to get to know her that is."

I apologized again when I saw that look on her face, "Sorry, I know you don't want to talk about other patients."

She gave me a sympathetic look then reminded me, "As I said before, you would not end up looking like a petite catgirl. Or a foxgirl. Or any kind of girl. I have access to seventeen masculine body files, which means you will still be a man. I can't recreate your current body exactly, but thanks to various modification routines I am able to offer you something that's reasonably close. You will still become eighteen years old regardless, I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about that."

That was the other wild thing, but once again it explained some of the peculiar things about the Demeter's crew. Namely, how they were so skilled and experienced despite being so young. My thoughts mostly drifted past that stuff though, and settled on something else instead.

I asked, "You've mentioned those masc bodies a few times, but I assume you've also got some uh, femme ones too?"

Jenny's eyebrows shot up, like she obviously wasn't expecting that question. She nodded slowly, "I do. I have over forty feminine body files available. But as far as I've been able to ascertain you aren't trans."

"Right," I agreed. Then I admitted, "Except I've been wondering about it a lot lately? What it might be like to be a woman, I mean."

The ravenette looked confused as she asked, "If you're not trans then why would you even consider it?"

I took a deep breath then admitted, "This is going to sound stupid, but it's because of a girl. I mean Nyssa, Amanda's little sister?"

My cheeks coloured as I continued, "The two of us really hit it off, you know? Right from the start, when we were together on Rolandan-2. Then we did that Korantis-12 diplomatic mission. And when we got back to Deveron-8 we had a few days together in the capital, before we came back here to Ganvis."

"I don't know Jenny," I sighed. "We like each other, a lot, but Nyssa's not into guys. It's a real deal-breaker for her. She told me as much, more than once. That first night we were out drinking back on Rolandan-2, she straight up admitted she'd be all over me in a heartbeat if I was a woman. Or a femme-coded guy, she said. And honestly, it sounds kind of stupid now that I'm saying this stuff out loud? But yeah, the first time she said it, instead of being angry or offended I actually put some thought into it. I never expected I'd get the chance to try it though."

By the time I was done Jenny was looking at me like I was a kid who'd just said something really stupid, and she was about to patiently explain all the different ways I was wrong.

Sure enough she started, "That's very sweet of you Jace, but in my experience changing yourself so thoroughly to win the affections of another is never a good idea. And beyond any possible disappointments, you'd be inviting dysphoria into your life. That is something cis people typically have no experience with, but it should never be underestimated."

I shrugged, "I get what you're saying Jenny, and if we were talking about any other girl I'd probably agree with you. But like I said, Nyssa and I really hit it off. Like there's something between us, you know? Something powerful. So it's not like I'm trying to win her affections, I feel like I've already got that. This is just sealing the deal."

"And you don't know for sure that I'd hate being a woman, do you?" I added. "Like I said, I've already put a bunch of thought into this, ever since Nyssa first brought it up. The idea really doesn't bother me. Honestly, I'm actually kind of curious about the whole thing, you know? Like what it's like, how it'd feel."

Jenny slowly shook her head, and like I figured she wanted to try and talk me out of it.

She suggested, "Picture what you would want to look like as a woman. Then think about what that would mean for you, for the rest of your life. Consider how you'd dress. How others would see you, how they'd relate to you. Not just Nyssa, but everyone. Your friends, your family, other people here at Ganvis."

"How would you feel about people using she/her pronouns for you?" she continued. "Whether you identified as a woman or not, people will make assumptions based on your appearance. And have you thought about your name? Would you change it to something more feminine sounding, to suit your new appearance?"

Finally she warned me, "If you continue to identify as male while presenting femme you'll likely be misgendered a lot, and that can make any dysphoria you experience worse."

"Alright Jenny," I replied. "I'll try the whole imagination thing, but I don't expect it's going to change my mind any."

I closed my eyes and soon found myself picturing a girl about the same size as Nyssa. She had an athletic figure, with a bit of meat on her instead of being all skinny. Her legs were long and sculpted, she had a nice swell to her hips, and her behind was perfect. She had a narrow waist and shoulders, and smooth sleek arms. And her chest was a decent size, since I already knew Nyssa was into that.

I'd always thought my hair was kind of bland and boring, so now I imagined it to be a rich deep chestnut colour on this hypothetical gal. I also pictured it being longer, like down past her shoulders. I'd never had long hair before myself but I always thought it looked pretty on girls, and I'd been curious to try it out myself a few times in the past. Anyways I figured I could always cut it later if it turned out I didn't like it after all. And finally I decided this girl would look best with deep dark hazel eyes.

Once I had that image in my mind I thought about what sort of clothes she'd wear. I ended up sticking with what was familiar to me though, so I put her in some rugged denim pants and a pair of work boots. Except her pants were tight enough to show off those shapely legs and that cute behind. And her boots had a bit of a heel to them, which made her legs look even better.

Then instead of one of my loose formless tees I decided she'd look good in a crop top, so she could show off a bit of midriff. And she'd have a loose jacket for worlds where the weather was cooler. She'd also have my trusty cut-down hand-rifle hanging from her right hip, and a couple spare mags on her belt.

Finally I imagined what other folks would think of this pretty young woman. Especially if she went around telling folks she used to be Jace Wheeler. And those thoughts left me with a smile on my face.

"Alright," I grinned as I opened my eyes. "I know my dad comes across like a gruff old coot sometimes, and I know he won't be best pleased at first. He might even make a bit of a scene when I introduced myself? But I'm positive he'd be ok with the new me. He might not understand it, but if I told him it was my choice and it's something I wanted then I know he'd respect that."

Then my smile faded and I sighed, "I sure hope mom's going to be ok. I think she'd be the same as dad, but she'd make a much bigger fuss. And it'd take her a year or two before she let it go. But whatever happened, no matter how much she griped and complained, she'd have my back in a second if someone else tried to use it against me."

"As for everyone else," I said while my grin returned, "Honestly I'd just want to see their reactions. I don't much care what they think about me, but I'm sure some of them wouldn't mind. Folks got used to Cammie, they'll get used to the new me just as well."

Jenny frowned, "What about you though, Jace? How do you think you'll feel if that was your new reality?"

I shrugged, "Like I keep saying, it doesn't scare me. If folks want to call me 'miss' or 'girlie' or use she/her pronouns for me then so be it. If I look like a girl and sound like a girl then go ahead and call me a girl."

The ravenette twin continued to frown as she watched me for another few seconds. Then she turned to the right, and I was startled to see the young woman I'd been picturing was suddenly standing there in the room with us.

"How'd you -" I started to ask, then cut myself off. "Oh right. That neural interface thing you mentioned. You literally just read my mind, huh?"

Jenny nodded, "Only your surface thoughts. Then I selected the most appropriate body file, and applied the required modifications to get the final result as close as I could to the image you were visualizing."

She really had too. It was a tad creepy though, because for one thing the girl standing next to me was completely naked. And she wasn't moving either, or even breathing. She looked as real as me or Jenny, like I could almost reach out and touch her. Except I realized she had to be some kind of hologram.

I found myself staring at the girl's face, since that was the one thing I had trouble picturing earlier. And I had to admit this young woman looked pretty. Her soft pink lips were full and wide, she had high cheekbones, and I was positive she'd have a beautiful smile. Her hair was just like I'd imagined, a deep rich chestnut tone that hung down past her shoulders in loose curls and waves.

After a few seconds my eyes drifted downwards and I took in the hologram's ample chest. The rounded creamy white orbs were tipped with delicate pink peaks, and I couldn't help wondering what those would feel like in my hands. Or in Nyssa's hands, for that matter.

My focus drifted a little further down, as I checked out how she looked down there. That was just like I imagined too, with just a small neatly-trimmed strip of hair above her delicate pink folds. I still didn't have any fear thinking about what that might feel like, instead there was just more curiosity. And thoughts of Nyssa of course.

"I gotta say," I finally admitted, "It feels kind of weird seeing her standing there naked like she's on display or something."

Jenny's response was blunt but accurate, "If we proceed with this then that is the body you will see every time you get undressed. So you may as well start getting used to it now."

"And as I explained earlier," she continued in that same no-nonsense tone, "If we do this, there's no going back. Your original body is dying, and one way or another it will be gone forever before the night is over."

I took a deep breath then nodded slowly. My eyes drifted back to the hologram girl once more. Then I said, "Yeah ok. Let's go for it."

Instead of moving on to whatever came next the twin hesitated.

"I'm not going to refuse your request," she stated, "But I need to remind you of the risks, and my concerns. Once we begin, the process cannot be stopped. Your new body will be female, and that fact may lead you to experience dysphoria. Which is a serious condition that can in turn lead to depression."

I nodded again, "I get it Jenny. I understand the risks and your concerns. I've thought it over though, and this is my decision."

"Very well," she sighed. "Jace Wheeler, do you consent to the Re/Gen process?"

"Yes ma'am I do," I stated.

Despite her obvious misgivings Jenny accepted my consent. Then she told me, "Please relax. In a moment you'll slip into a deep sleep."

That text floating in the air to my left suddenly changed to read, "Processing. 10:14:59"

"We'll talk again when you wake," the ravenette added just as everything around me went dark.