NokiMo
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Perfect

Nico actually said to me at the end of the dispute that, he didn't want me to contact him again.

Just to give you some context, the last time I saw him, he was deeply in debt of tens of thousands of euros. His social security help will end soon (the unemployment help only last for 2 years in France) and if he didn't sell his appartment or his house, he will receive no money at all. He's also troubled with his law suit against the company which fired him. His situation is very complicated. But to protect his privacy, I will not talk about the details here. He's in trouble, financially and health wise. But instead of looking for a new job or getting him out the law suit, what did he do? He got on Grindr and start dating a high school kid. I tried my best not to be judgemental, but it's impossible when I can see clearly that he self-destructs. 

Joe also did him a favour getting him an appointment with a new lawyer, but Mr. Nico didn't even show up at his appointment. And when Joe asked him why he didn't show up. He replied that he had no time. Well... He apparently got loads of fucking time cruising on Grindr. 

That's why I was so mad.

Now I thought back, I could have probably choose my words differently. But I thought a kick in the butt was what he needed, well... anyway, I respected his decision and didn't contact him ever since. The last news I got about Nico is from Joe.

Joe actually went to see Nico one day when he drove home from work. They went to McDonald's and had a coffee. Joe told me that they didn't talk much and Nico didn't look well.  

Nico didn't mention me at all during their conversation. There's one positive thing though. Joe told me that Nico said hello to me at the end of the conversation. 

 I guess that's the end of the story with Nico, he will not appear in my comics again, cause he's no longer in our life. I know all the right things to do, I know I should forget and forgive, I know I should be the bigger person here. But I just can't. He wanted me to leave him alone, and he will get what his heart desired: I will leave him alone. 

Perfect

Comments

Hey not all young ones are out for the money🤓 he could do some good I hope

Meers

Joe is an ANGEL!

Jacky SHIEN

I hope I will see Nico again in your strip...

Chi

Self care is what is needed now.

Andrew Goebel

Sorry for my english, im chilean and i rarely write so much xD

omg... this remember me of a friend with depression i had. The relationship with her was very tiring, because she always rely on me like i will fix her problems and when we talk about her issues, she react very bad, just like this strip. I think it's get to a point where you have to see if your friendship is string enough to carry on, because he is i trouble, and he can't see it. In my case i choose to stay away because a problem we have, i think we're still friends but no more in a strong way. It's ok if you feel tired, it's ok if your done with him, you don't HAVE to stay by his side, is a choice and you have your own problems and take care of Joe too. Stay strong

Song, you -- and most of the commenters on here -- make it an either/or situation: either you try, try, try to help him out of his depression, or you cut him out of your life altogether. Perhaps it would be best for both of you if you did what he said, and didn't contact him -- for a week, a month, or longer -- but keep tabs on him through mutual friends, etc. The odds are that the 19 y/o wont last (although stranger things have happened), but he's not the problem anyway. In any case, Nantes is not a big a town that you won't run into him at some point anyway. When you're good and ready, give him a call, but not until then.

Bill F.

One of the toughest lessons for a compassionate person (or anyone) to learn is that you can't help someone unless they want help and decide to make changes themselves. You did what you could and the best thing for you to do is take care of yourself. The kindest thing you could do would be to say you are there if he is ready to move forward with positive change.

Daniel Gardner

I think you handled it very well. We can try to help others all we want, but there's very little we can do when they don't want to help themselves. Some things people say are very hard to come back from. Words can scar relationships, and too many scars ruin them.

Johnny Neurotic

Thank you, Kelly.

SONG Inkollo

Hey, this is a really sad one. I hope Nico pulls through and finds his footing

If he wants, he can always reach us by messages or phone calls.

SONG Inkollo

Just let him know, that if he wants, he can still count with you both

Thank you.

SONG Inkollo

Thank you very much, Pablo. I understand very well what you said. But Nico refused to see us most of the times in the past. And he's not living in the city. We have to drive one hour and half to get to his country side house. After all this incident, I don't think I have the strength or will to be around him anymore.

SONG Inkollo

Thank you very much for the understanding, Archie. I would applaud anyone who could be the bigger person in this situation. But I know myself, I know my flaws, and I just can't be the bigger person. I still wish Nico all the best, but I don't need to deal with his negativity anymore.

SONG Inkollo

I'm sorry to hear all this. I've been depressed before and for me the last thing I wanted was to be around friends. But when I was with them just talking about trivial things help me to consider my life at the moment and to be able to carry on. I guess what I'm trying to say, if you still what to help Nico. Is just to be there for him without any judgment of his actual condition and help him to remind him of what life is worth without giving any specific examples, which can make him feel more miserable than what he already feels

Thank you very much, Danny.

SONG Inkollo

Thank you, Hsu.

SONG Inkollo

Thank you, Andrew.

SONG Inkollo

Thank you. But you know what Joe and I think of Nico. Before he lost his job and his ex boyfriend, he was on top the world. He's good looking and made a great living. He was like a spoiled kid who could get any man he wanted. Now he's not in that position anymore, so he's depressed and lash out at me. I'm sorry but I can be a heartless person as well. It's not pretty, life is hard, he should tough up and be a man. If he wanted to stay in the past, there's nothing I can do to help.

SONG Inkollo

I respect you for your decision to let go of him. I know it wasn't easy but I admire how you kept to your true self. Not everyone needs to be Mother Teresa here. You're only human and you're free to have these feelings. No sugarcoating or whatsoever. For those who will tell you to get over yourself and you should've been the bigger person and shit - I'd say, fuck 'em! It's your life, after all. At times, you really got to love yourself first and sometimes, that means letting go of people in your life. Also, please stop referring to yourself as a failure. You are wonderful and I won't be reading your strips all the way from THE PHILIPPINES if you are a failure. My bff love reading your posts! So youve got fans from this side of the world! You're inspiring a lot of people. This post of yours may have been polarizing but keep on doing what you're doing best. Thank you for sharing this moment of your life with your former friend, Song! 😘😘😘 #madrespect

Archie

"sigh" well hopefully things won't end sour for Nico in the end.

Andrew King

Well, that's what you get for being judgemental and pry into somebody else's life (been there done that, reaction was the same). Maybe he's just down, because you kill it on Patreon, and you have a great boyfriend, as a matter of fact ;-) And it seems effortless the way you show it, and maybe that's what upset him so much to say these things?

Thank you very much.

SONG Inkollo

Thank you.

SONG Inkollo

Thank you.

SONG Inkollo

Thank you very much, Sham. I understand what you said. I wanted to help him, but at a certain point, I want to protect my feeling as well. He's not the only one struggling in life, and it's very selfish of him to reject me like that. I can be selfish too. It's called Karma.

SONG Inkollo

Thank you very much, Leandro. But I'm done with him, there were many times we asked him out for a walk in the park or for a nice diner. He always refused. I'm pretty sure he will get some fresh air from his new 19 years old boyfriend, cause apparently we are not good or young enough for him.

SONG Inkollo

Tough love is difficult. Remember the positive things about him for now. Follow his wishes for now. Time does amazing things. Nothing absolutely nothing lasts forever not even his depression. Take it easy.

Danny Provencio

agreed Joe is perfect (you are too)

Yu-Chiang Hsu

My heart aches for you and Joe, but also for Nico. Being depressed is like a black hole. You sink in further with every move and take everything with you, without really meaning to. It's like drowning and already being underwater. You want to get out, but you can't because the water is all around you and you can't breathe. Hope Nico gets a sliver of air to breathe so he can start his way out of depression. Unless he sees a sliver of light out of his black hole, he's just gonna keep on sinking. You don't deserve him talking to you like that, but he needs you Song. Even when he's being an a$$h0!e to you. He needs friends and family to show him that sliver of hope, otherwise the world might lose him forever.

Leandro Peña

Dear Song, What can I say? You have a great and big heart towards other people, which sometimes may lead to hurt yourself more. When people in depression, they don't actually mean what they said... they just feels that every single thing is not right! When people trying to enlighten them... they feel more miserable! Nico might need his own space to find his ' spirit' and ' life ' again... times will heals! I've been in depression before and i rejected every single person in my life until i try to commit suicide. Luckily i was survived because not even single of them tired of me and keep motivating me. Please don't abandon Nico... He needs you and Joe.. He needs help.. help him. Trust me! He really need your help... try to reconcile with him again, he will not abandon you. Meanwhile? My prayers go to Nico and loves to you and joe.

Sham Ruiz

It breaks my heart to see you two end up like this. Hugs.

Jin Huang

He really hurt me. He knew that was the thing which could hurt me the most and he chose to do that in purpose. There's many things I could say to hurt him deeply but I always chose to hold my tongue. And he did that when I tried to help him. I don't know what to say, maybe there's still a chance that one day he will apologise and we'll reconcile, but just don't count on me to apologise first.

SONG Inkollo

However, you know, people always say something that they do not mean to.

Marc Guo

😢😞

petherbcl

It is sad when someone you care about sinks into depression. You want to help them but they dont want to.

😢...

Nygel Zabala


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