Machinist of Mana Chapter 102 Arthur

Arthur Shadestone

I sat in my office, unable to even wish my son goodbye as he returned to that school of his, unable to face him. It wasn't fear, no, for I wasn't afraid of what he would do. That boy had known about my indiscretion and kept his peace for years, taking his time and doing what he thought was right.

No, it was shame, shame for the things I'd done. I'd betrayed my own wife, whom I'd loved without end, and while I doubt she understood it, that had been the reason for my distancing myself over the years, too afraid, afraid that the truth would make itself known, would come to the fore one day. The pain of that action had cost me so much, more than I'd realized at the time, lost in my own lust.

Worse still was the shame for my child, the one I couldn't even speak to. The girl was mine but I'd never so much as spoken her name to her, never once embraced her, never one time comforted her, or given her any of the proper love a father should. What a failure of a man I'd become, to not even take care of my own child properly.

Beyond even that was what I'd tried to do. In my own mind I'd justified it at the time, thought about how she'd be fine, how I would see that she had a good recommendation, a chance for a good job. That was a lie though, being fired was a black mark and I knew it, in all likelihood she'd have struggled to find anything, and who knows where she might have ended up.

A spell and my room was sealed, sealed so that I could bend my head down over my desk and weep, weep as the fool and coward I'd become. For a time I remained there, bemoaning my own failures, regretting all the horrid choices that had led me here.

“What have I become that my own boy must show me what I should do?” I asked the world. “What a blessing that even with such a pathetic father he still became as he did.”

Though I may have done wrong my son didn't. Seeing what wrongs I'd done he came here himself to discipline me, like he was the parent and I the lying child. I'd even tried to harm him, only to find him stronger than me. He'd been ready that moment, ready to do whatever he needed for his family, whether I acknowledged her or not she was his family.

I'd seen her just this morning, passing by the room she was working in. Never before had I seen her react, but this time she squeaked as if afraid of me, and hid herself. My own daughter hid her face from me. She was right to, I'd had her put in the clothes of a servant rather than the dresses of the nobility she deserved, I'd abused her more than I ever should, I'd failed her too much. Why did I even imagine myself fit to call her my child?

There was only one path forward, only one way to start to redeem myself for this failure.

Blinking tears from my eyes I pulled open the drawers of my desk. One by one I pulled out utensils, pen, and parchment, seal and the special wax for it, and an envelope, ready as it needed to be. The act steadied my hands just enough to write.

And write I did, words I'd looked into long ago, the proper formal declarations that were needed. Bit by bit I wrote the letter I should have written years ago, and when it was done I took my seal, charging it with my mana as much as I could before stamping the bottom.

The action done my hands shook as I placed the document into the envelope and wrote my son's name upon it. Knowing that what I must do was done, that there could be no going back my breath hitched and halted, as if I'd been running afraid.

It would only be a few weeks until he returned for The Season, and I would give it to him then. This house too, Lucille and I had already talked of it, already discussed it, a bit early would be fine. It would give him a place to be with his sister should he so choose. When it all came to fruition I would need to beg her forgiveness, and that of my wife, but that much I could handle.

“As soon as you return my son, just as soon as you return.” I placed the letter upon the corner of my desk, never out of sight, never out of mind, for if I failed here there might never be a way back.

A/N: I know I named Percival's father in my notes before but those files got destroyed in a hard drive failure and for the life of me I cannot find it anywhere listed so I think I never put his name in the book. Percival always simply refers to him as 'Father' and if it's different somewhere else please forgive me. Also this chapter is short, but it feels right, and I think making it longer would detract from it.