merch progress + why smoke is a repeating element in the comic

the last two stickers are done!!

and maybe some of you remember the sketch on the bottom? i decided to use it as the cover art for this volume <3 comparing it with the cover art for the prototype, it's very close in theme (with their ghostly past lingering around them) and i might just keep this up as a (cover) series. 

by the way, i don't really know if i ever mentioned this, but there's a reason why Noah and Robin often breath white breath (or in Robin's case smoke)

i chose to use this as a major element in the whole comic (steam from cups, while cooking, fog, breath, smoke from cigarette, etc.). it can be warm and gentle, comforting even, but also cold and so heavy it can lead you into wrong directions. back when i had the dream that led to this story i swear i had to grasp through the thick fog in the forest, i couldn't see the way at all.  i remember this element SO CLEARLY.  i remember how the despair felt when the boys lost themselves and how it felt when one of them turned around, eyes dark. they were trying to breathe out heavy white breath, it was sticky and foggy and then it fell down to cover the floor and all flowers and the dark lake next to them. the whole time it felt like they were trapped in their own human bodies. 

in hindsight, i know this had to do with my own health condition at that time. my body simply tried to recover and then the medication made me have the craziest dreams. when i got better i often dreamed about things being in my body that shouldn't be there, or that i was completely lost in places i don't know and i was trying to get back where i was before. the fog and white breath thing... i think i was still dealing with the fact that i was fully awake when medical tools were stuck through my throat down into my stomach and it just. i probably won't forget how it felt, even now that i'm writing this. months later i finally could deal with it a bit because i could sleep and dream it off. so... i think this is kind of interesting? this story is, as i often said before, super personal. i could've missed the whole experience, but it gave me new hope in form of two nerds who fall in love and want to be here in this world despite everything. i'm really thankful for this. anyway, i just had to think about it now that i saw the foggy antlers and horns for the new cover! this element will be there until the end, too

i'm also very sorry for suddenly talking about health stuff. i hope it's okay to drop that here sometimes, it just has been a part of the whole writing progress, too ;; and wherever you are right now in your life... i just want to say, that it can and will get better. and that i love you and i'm glad that i can share this story with you 🌸💕