HUH YUNJIN'S LETTER TO FEARNOTS: LOVE IS PERSEVERING

Yunjin's letter is one of the most powerful I've read. If there is anything I hope to take away from her letter is to never ever let evil win buy letting it consume you, your talent, your time, and your potential. There were a lot of major points in her letter but the most important part was towards the end, "LOVE IS PERSEVERING." Because noone who has truly experienced and lived loved every said it was easy.

Everyone always says it's a decision you make everyday, to go on, to fix what is broken, to look for what you will like when all that you see is something you hate. "Love is persevering." And on a different but connected note, there is nothing stronger, nothing more beautiful than a woman who knows her worth to herself.

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"I am not who I was a year ago.

I have a new favorite artist.
I drink a different coffee.
I do more or less the same things, but I think in a way that the person from a year ago did not know how.

For better or for worse, this trilogy has been a memorable experience.
I write this in remembrance of the past year — all the unfathomable joy and unfathomable pain, and of the questions life begged of me — because I want you to understand why it means so much to be here with you today.

All of last year, I had asked myself, “How do we survive this?”

‘To survive’ by definition means to continue to exist, in spite of an ordeal or hardship.
While I wish just simply existing had come easy, despite my best efforts, I do not remember feeling all that existent.

What I do remember, rather, are waves of debilitating shame, doubt, envy and emptiness.
I remember nights of doomscrolling through comments, knowing I shouldn’t, when even my morality failed to suppress the longing for someone’s kindness.
I remember loneliness.
I remember fear of the end. That what started as the small fire of my dreams had gotten so uncontrollably big that I was losing everything I knew.
How is this surviving, when I feel like I am dying?

But what surviving really is, the past year has taught me, is an experience contingent on accepting a kind of death.
Just as building muscle is feeling weak
and building knowledge is feeling dumb,
fighting to exist is allowing yourself to fall apart.

I suppose Rilke was right when he wrote that clarity cannot be given to you unless you first live your question.
Because the more I got up and asked, “is this the right way to go on?”
I found myself gradually experiencing my answer.

The answer was in my refusal of apathy.
It was in the dinners I had with my members.
In the calls with my family.
In the small talk, which was never truly small, with our staff.
In the letters from those who love me, their pensive pen and colored paper.
It was at TeamLab, it was at Weverse Con.
It was the sweat on the dance studio floor.
It lived in the music I saved.
Even the tear-stained pages of my diary, they all had the claw marks of my love persevering.

Love persevering — it is the embodiment of this album.

I am thankful for the experience EASY, CRAZY, HOT has been.
I am thankful for the many versions of myself it took to meet the person I’ve come to know today.
She is not perfect, but she knows how to stay grounded.
She is stronger, wiser, and closer with the people she loves.

I like her.
In fact, I might even love who I am right now.
And she’s rocking the ginger hair, if I do say so myself.

Anyone who dares to love cannot make it through intact.
I know that now.
If there is any wisdom you can take from this letter, it is most of all that.

Pain means I am changing.
What a beautiful, exciting thing.
And whoever I’m becoming,
I’m sure I’ll learn to love her too."