Shared by RM: Don't be fooled by what you brain tells you now

Everyone strives for happiness, yet achieving it isn't as difficult as it seems. The human brain, by design, is an organ optimized for predicting and detecting threats rather than experiencing joy. It was not inherently created for happiness. Therefore, we must be deliberate and persistent in cultivating joy. This is both the starting point and the conclusion of today's story.

Across all cultures and throughout history, humans have universally experienced six basic emotions: joy, sadness, anger, surprise, disgust, and fear. Among them, joy is the only positive emotion, while the negative ones tend to be far more intense. This is why happiness often feels elusive, whereas sadness and self-doubt can arise effortlessly from minor events. For a brain that prioritizes survival by constantly scanning for danger and negative stimuli, pleasant and positive experiences are secondary concerns.

More than 30 years ago, psychologist John Cacioppo, the pioneer of social neuroscience, demonstrated through brain wave research that the brain has a natural tendency to overemphasize negative information. Since then, countless studies have reinforced this finding, proving again and again that our minds are wired to focus on the negative rather than the positive.

So, don’t be deceived by your own brain. For seven million years, it has been wired for survival—constantly on high alert, cautious, and serious. Even if your present reality feels barren, you have the power to shape your path in a more evolved and refined way. Today, there are two simple practices to begin with: savoring and finding joy.

1. Savor the Moment

At first, this may feel difficult. But make it a habit. There is a fundamental difference between merely experiencing something and understanding and appreciating its meaning. These processes activate different regions of the brain, and when you consistently practice them together, new neural connections are formed. Over time, neurons that once operated independently begin working in harmony, creating a powerful network—the "experience + gratitude" circuit.

If the fire feels warm, savor it. If the rice tastes comforting, if the sky is clear, appreciate it fully. If someone contributed to your safety today, acknowledge it and be thankful. Even dedicating just a few minutes a day to gratitude becomes a form of daily meditation—nurturing your mind, fortifying your inner strength, and cultivating resilience.

You might dismiss this as simple mindfulness or an exercise in mental optimism, but neuroscience tells a different story. A study published in Nature last month confirms that when we experience something pleasurable, our brain competes to release dopamine, the neurotransmitter that fuels motivation, anticipation, and risk-taking. Imagine for a moment that every instance of gratitude and happiness increases your brain’s reservoir of these neurotransmitters—why wouldn’t you make the effort to savor each moment?

2. Seek Out Fun and Joy

Somehow, find joy in your life.

Albert Ellis (1913–2007), a clinical psychologist and pioneer of cognitive behavioral therapy, once said that one of the most irrational human beliefs is that happiness will come without any effort. This is as absurd as a YouTube channel gaining subscribers without uploading content, mastering a foreign language without ever studying, or a restaurant drawing crowds without serving food.

Happiness is not something that passively arrives—it is something you must actively seek and define for yourself. Find joy in your favorite music, in the familiar voice of a loved one, in a hobby or a physical activity, or even in the chubby cheeks of a child standing beside you. Simply saying, “I like this,” can turn these small moments into meaningful touchpoints that help you navigate life’s uncertainties and disappointments.

If you wonder whether this is truly necessary—yes, it is. That is the essence of human existence.

We are fragile beings, vulnerable to illness, disaster, poverty, and loneliness. At any moment, misfortune can strike, throwing us into turmoil. Life is inherently challenging, and if we don’t make a conscious effort to find joy in the everyday, we risk slipping into the distorted, irrational thinking patterns of depression and anxiety—until life itself becomes unbearable. Left unchecked, the brain naturally gravitates toward negativity, spiraling into helplessness. So, do not allow your mind to wander aimlessly wherever your thoughts lead.

On nights when I struggle to fall asleep, I quietly think about the countless others lying awake, burdened by their own anxieties and sorrows. In those moments, I feel a silent connection to these strangers—an invisible thread of shared humanity, bound by the struggles of life. "We are all human, and life is difficult for everyone." With that thought, I gently close the door on my worries. I focus instead on the comforting texture of my blanket against my skin, the steady rhythm of my family’s breathing—a sound I have heard countless times yet now cherish anew.

And in that moment, I let go of the past, stop anticipating the future, and simply live in the present.

Heo Ji-won, Professor of Psychology, Korea University

https://www.joongang.co.kr/article/25308139