TGIF: Winter Wander-land and Comparative Thinking

Hello and happy Friday, patrons! Elliott and I are up in the mountains until tomorrow and it’s dreamy up here. It’s snowy, empty, and so, so still. Doing anything feels like doing too much. How wild. How nice. The plan was to keep it simple, to read, to write, to watch TV, walk outside, maybe adventure downtown, enjoy the beauty, rinse repeat. The snow covered roads have given us full permission to do only that and we’ve taken full advantage. Or if you want to look at it in a more productive way, we have done both diddly AND squat. I’m not a skier or snowboarder, but sometimes I wish I was. It looks chilly and exciting. Free(zing) and fun. My rational brain says the learning window for that kinda stuff is likely closed on account of the risk for dumb injury is too damn high. I mean, we all saw pieces of Gwyneth Paltrow’s beige trial of the century. I can’t risk becoming “no longer charming” if I get whacked in the back by a fellow tall blonde on the slopes, let alone be responsible for someone else’s inability to enjoy wine tastings in their future. Side note, try spelling Gwyneth after taking an edible. I dare you. IMPOSSIBLE. An unreasonable word. Snow activities also take so much prep. There’s so much time to overthink about whether or not it’s worth it while you zip a whole water proof down comforter around your body and shove your feet into boots that you’ll have to snap your ankles to take off. Truly a luxurious activity. But who am I to criticize, I’m just a girl melting into a couch under a pile of blankets watching through the glass.

It’s wild that this place is only a 2 hour drive from LA. Two hours later and we’re sleeping inside of a snow globe. Magical. It almost makes me long for the fantasy of being an aesthetically vibey travel vlogger. God, don’t those folks have such an incredible, effortlessly overworked lens on their pristinely nomadic lifestyle? I’d hate it if I didn’t love it. I can only imagine how hard they work to curate their easy breezy wandering dream lives for us to all gawk at like visitors at their virtual human zoo. And yet they hook me. They lure my brain into fantasies of a life fueled by stylish adventure and whimsy. And the reality of that fantasy is me, white knuckled in the passenger seat while Elliott drives in the snow and I huff anxiety grunts every moment I feel like he’s too close to the car in front of us which makes him tell me to stop which spikes my anxiety that he’s not paying attention which makes him more frustrated and we clench in our independent tensions until we can finally see the Airbnb and unbunch our buttholes. That’s our authentically glamorous #travelvlogging. Like and subscribe.

We’re going to wander downtown today and poke around for a frozen second since we’ve spent the last day and a half cosplaying like we’ve actually been snowed in. Delightfully (not frightfully) snowed in. Honestly, that’s become my fav airbnb activity. I bring all of my necessary supplies (food, coffee, sweatpants, weed, art stuffs, books, notebooks) and set up a cozy lil slumber party nest while the fictional parents are out of town for the weekend. It’s cute. But you already know this. I'm unapologetically in my nesting era. (sorry, I hate the overuse of 'era' as much as those that are currently following Drag Race probably do). But it's nice to feel like it's a choice vs an unwanted gift forced on me from depression's party bag. Otherwise called the cocoon stage in pop psychological terms..."the stage when we realize that our life is shifting and the old ways of doing things are no longer working for us." I'm starting to appreciate lounging as a joyful retreat into relaxation rather than a paralyzed psychological prison where I'm flooded with the thoughts that everyone else is doing and being and living. I can't help but partially blame those damn travel vloggers for curating so much damn punch drunk playful adventure! But that line of thinking is like binge drinking for the brain. It's so intoxicating until it poisons you. And I'm guilty of doing shots! shots! shots! Everyboooody! When it comes to comparative thinking, of drowning myself in thoughts that measure myself against the overall thriving-ness I perceive in others, my mind turns into an all day happy hour. The brain booze is 2 for 1 and if I try to dilute the juice Tyra Banks appears in ultra low rise pleather pants and is all "Hell no H2O!!!". And before you know it I'm outside chasing actual coyotes, lamenting about how ugly we are, and screaming that we CAN'T FIGHT THE MOONLIGHT. 

Ya know?

Sincere apologies if you've never seen Coyote Ugly. Because it's a classic and you're robbing yourself of an incredible cinematic experience. 

Speaking of robbery, they say comparison is the thief of joy, and I'm realizing more and more just how true that is. I've been exercising the first step in changing the way I think by trying to gently notice when I slip onto the tipsy tightrope of longing and measuring and scrutinizing. Noticing is starting to make a difference. It's almost like realizing a spider just landed on your shoulder and you can shoo it away. Rather than let it lay eggs in your brain. Cute!

Anyway, speaking of cheeky revelations and humorous musings, I’m burning through Bad Vibes Only. Reminder the livestream is SUNDAY @ 1pm PST! I’ve already said it but I’ll say it again, I’m loving this book and loving the way Nora writes. If there are any specific parts of the book that have stuck out to you that you wanna talk about on Sunday leave a comment here! I’ll try to organize my thoughts around them beforehand, but here are quick prompts to get your wheels turning:

-What were your fav parts?

-Any thoughts/ideas that stuck out to you the most?

-How’d you feel while reading? After?

Leave your thoughts here or just have it in mind for Sunday. Again, the livestream is open to everyone regardless of whether you've finished the book, but I hope you've been able to glance at some of it! Okay, I'm gonna wrap this up for now and start the journey of putting myself together to venture into the real world after 36 hours of wonderful isolation lol. I hope you guys have great weekends and I'll see y'all on Sunday (I'll post the link to the stream in a new post right around 1ish!). Thanks, as always, for being here! 💚G