My emotions are SNATCHED

Wow. Wow. And also...wow. I just got done watching the second episode of Drag Race Down Under and GOOD GOLLY MISS DOLLY... that was a rollercoaster. I'm still processing how I feel about it, but I know I felt great at the beginning and awful at the end (aka the logline for every failed relationship I've ever had).  Alright let's just jump into this and see what happens (aka the mantra for the start of every failed relationship I've ever had)! 

So we all know that they're doing SNATCH GAME episode 2...which is BOLD. They either want their down under queens to shine or they want to watch them suffer. This is high stakes stuff to put them through before they even have a chance to familiarize themselves with the layered musk of the werkroom. But, they all seem wildly charismatic, so imo BRING IT ON. If I could walk a mile in their shoes....OH WAIT I CAN'T bc the episode starts with them doing SHOEYs... which I now know is a shot from a shoe and knowing the actual disgusting behavior of my own feet this was slightly triggering but I can't deny that I love a creative take to the face! (INSERT ALL THE JOKES)

Then we get a cameo from Kylie Minogue - the patron saint of Australian music and ALL OF THEM CLUTCHING THEIR FACES WHEN THEY SAW HER ON VIDEO GAVE ME SUCH JOY. Everything about this inaugural season of Drag Race Down Under has an undeniable sweet charm smeared on it ...which is why I think they thought they could get away with doing Snatch Game in episode 2! 

Speaking of Snatch Game...let's see who the queens are going to do justice to or fail miserably! I wrote in my notes "I can’t wait to see who I don’t know at all!" ... and that was partially true! We got Magda (who, I'm so sorry, I have no idea who that is) and Lindy Chamberlain...who I also don't know but have been AGGRESSIVELY googling since the episode and H.O.L.Y. SHIT. Let's shelf that for now. There were some other things going on...

Kita asks if she should do Carol Baskin or Dr Seuss?! I mean..are they that different? Who knows wtf Dr Seuss sounds like other than some rhymes and a bit of racism? Meanwhile I'm loving the subtle Wiggles sabotage (for reference I'll be referring to Anita as Wiggles from here on out bc it's how my brain associates her every time she's on screen)! If that's okay with you guys? Also Wiggles is doing THE QUEEN ... what a tall order but her goofy confidence has me intrigued. ALSO...anyone else get BIG Michael Buckley vibes from Wiggles/Anita??? I made that connection this episode and now I can't unsee it!

I love that Karen holds her cards so close to her chest and didn't want to give away that she was doing DOLLY PARTON... I mean...COME ON... what BALLS. And stakes and  pressure and OH GOD WHY ARE YOU DOING DOLLY!? All the while Art claims Bindi Irwin ... which is a strange choice bc Bindi has, from what I gather on her IG, the personality of a clean button down khaki shirt. So if you're gonna do Bindi... you gotta make up a Bindi to do. And Art, who knows how to work Ru to a t, seemed confident enough so I went with her for the ride. 

Well, let's take the ride, shall we?

Here's my run down: 

-Karen did a TERRIBLE Dolly and I'd like to speak to the manager

-Art looked, like, SO HOT, but was awful at creating some alternate universe Bindi character and it gives me cringe...but did I mention how hot she looked??? Deep down I want to look like that! 

-Jumbo as Lizzo was predictably disappointing 

-Wiggles as the queen was IN HER DAMN ELEMENT AND I FREAKING LOVED IT... D-A-P Dry Ass Pussy ... WONDERFUL

-Scarlet as Jennifer Coolidge was surprisingly good to me! I didn't hate it! I've been watching so many Christopher Guest movies lately that I'm into this impression! Which leads me to...

-Elektra as Catherine O'Hara... I don't watch Schitt's Creek so I thought I was missing something, but it turns out I wasn't missing anything... something was missing but her confidence made us all fooled! 

-Maxi doing Magda ... I literally have no idea about any of it

-ETC ETC as Lindy ... see: above...but Ru seemed to laugh so I guess that worked? 

-Kita as Dr. Seuss... I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it... she seemed GREEN, but EGG guess she didn't overly HAM it up and that was enough to save her

RUNWAY TIME! Category is: SEA SICKENING

Art: Real Housewives of Atlantis…everything seems elegantly dirty and for whatever reason I'm reminded I need to make a dentist appointment 

Kita: Hello, Ursula! Love that it moves as she moves! Also, I've never seen a single episode of Rick and Morty but this reminds me of that?

ETC ETC: I love the concept but I wish she had the head piece actually on her head rather than a prop … otherwise she’s just wearing a jumpsuit that I want to wear in my day-to-day

Coco: Hello, actual Ursula …an ocean oil spill but make is SEXY

Wiggles: WAIT did she just scream/sing on the runway??? That blown away hair…love it…IS SHE SUDDENLY MY FAVORITE?!?

Maxi: I love the dumbass concept of a pearl necklace that comes to life but something is off about it ...I don't hate it but it's not my fav

Elektra: lacy and underwhelming

Karen: High fashion left shark!. It’s so stupid but I’m SOOOOOO into it!

Scarlet: WOW love this reef piece...it's like Mardi Gras meets mummers parade meets walking fantasy science fair project and I'm into it!

Then we get our reviews and ....turns out everyone apparently sucked lol. Except for Wiggles who's now my favorite queen this season! Also DOES THE CAMERA MAKE THE ROOM LOOK SO SMALL? AND BLURRY??? And the obvious filter that's on Ru and not any of the other queens/judges makes me laugh so hard every time they cut to her. Like, she has a beauty filter on all of her shots and no one else does. Does anyone else notice this? Or is my TV doing something funky? 

Either way, Ru says “This was an interesting snatch game…let’s put it that way”... which makes me wonder how MUCH awkward/awfulness of the Snatch Game they cut out of the episode??? I mean, I know I don't understand much on account of being from Up Above and not Down Under but seems like some stuff went left. Like, beyond Left Shark left. I didn't agree with how harshly they criticized Scarlet as Jennifer Coolidge and thought they should have gone WAY HARSHER ON KAREN'S ABSOLUTELY AWFUL DOLLY. I'm a Karen fan (you won't hear me say that in any other arena but Drag Race Down Under) but that impression was not good. Especially when there's so much to mine with Dolly. But I didn't see ANY Dolly. Not an ounce of Dolly. PARTON me but there wasn't even a dollop of Dolly. It feels like some Tina Burner legacy stuff that they're protecting???

And then weirdly on the other side of that we have Art (who I gather is a bit of Drag royalty Down Under?) being thrown in the bottom with Coco... who did a bad as heck impression of Lizzo and deserved to be in the bottom. They lip sync to a song of Ru's which threw me for a whole loop ... how are we not doing a Kylie song after a Kylie cameo this episode?? I really thought they were setting us up for that! Regardless, we have two extremely mediocre lip sync performances which confused me ... but not more than ART SASHAYING AWAY AND COCO SHANTAYING. I am still REELING (insert your sea/fish pun)...Art's Bindi was a bad take but it wasn't THAT BAD. And her runway look made me sea sick so she was doing something right. All in all I am Gwyneth Paltrow GOOPED and need to hear y'alls thoughts! Let me know! I was so excited for this sweet, silly Down Under season and now I'm HOT AND BOTHERED. Okay, I gotta go! Happy Mother's Day to you all and to everyone that makes you feel taken care of! ❤️G