It's the Miiiiiiime (sung like Miley Cryus' "The Climb")

Well Patrons, it's another Saturday and you know what that means....oh, you don't? Damn. I was hoping you would. Because I sure as hell don't. I guess it means it's another Saturday and we're all clicking through this year one day at a mime. Errr, time. LOL WE LOVE BAD JOKES! *wince* Do we? WE DO. 

How the hell are you? I gotta say I'm a little slow today. Elliott and I had a few drinks last night, watched a shitload of Taskmaster and then sage cleansed our house like two silly buzzed wannabe witches on account of we hadn't done it yet and we've been here 4 months and I started to get freaked out that there were ghosts in here lol. Seriously though, I have a white noise machine on my nightstand for sleeping and a couple weeks ago it turned off twice in one night while it was still plugged in but I was too sleep-delirious to think anything of it until I remembered it happened last night. Ahhh, we're all doing the best we can, right??

Speaking of doing the best they can...let's talk about Drag Race episode 7! I gotta say this was a week of "ohhhs" and "ahhhhs" and "uhhhhs" and "ehhhhs" and "ayeeees". But maybe I was just trying to remember my vowels, who knows! 

First of all, I gotta continue to thank you for all of your thoughtful comments each week. Y'alls opinions have really expanded the way I watch these episodes and help me think more critically than constantly being captivated by absolutely everything they do! *tips TMGW beanie in gratitude* 

So let's get on with the shenanigans...of which there were MANY this week. So Kandy sent our beloved Tamisha home and I have to say I was warmed to see that she was surprised with the guilt she felt. I think Kandy's having a bit of a realization about how huffy and puffy she's been and is trying to damage control with a softer, sweeter, more supportive stance (i.e. her sweet parade of pep talks in this episode's Untucked lol)

Elliott discloses her insecurities (insecuri-two ts?) by saying she feels isolated because she's been coming across awkward and weird and, good lord, who can't relate to that?

Then Ru busts in dressed like a former-mime-turned-fashion-photographer that stands out front of the Glamor Shots at the mall trying to convince you that you could be one of those Hollywood models. Well, take my money, Ru! Instead, we find out that the mall is closed....BUT THE LIBRARY IS OPEN! It's time to get ya fancy granny glasses on and read, ladies! 

What'd you all think of the reads? I thought they were sliiiiiightly underwhelming 😬. Though, we're also in an age of sensitivity so maybe it's unconscious that they aired on the side of mild vs spicy? But I was truly tickled by Mik's read of Kandy representing the Pug community. What a lovely lol! Followed by an immediate whiplash when Kandy said Utica could suffocate her with her big dick. I might need a neck brace after that one. Mik came out victorious and accepted her win with that signature smile that looks like a contestant on the Price Is Right winning a new car. What fun! 

Now onto our maxi challenge! An improv extravaganza as guests on The Bossy Rossy Show. Now, I love what Drag Race considers improv. It's very sweet and I understand that this is the way it will translate best to a TV audience. *tries best to not sound like a complete improv snob* My experience with improv is getting on a stage and getting a suggestion from the audience and creating a show out of it without any preparation. But Ru improv is getting a specific character breakdown and exactly what the scene will entail and then having time to practice before putting on a performance. Regardless, I still love it. I really do. It makes me curl into a ball and cringe while I watch the scenes through my fingertips the whole time but I still love it. And even if it's kinda weird in its structure it lets us see a different side of the girls we haven't seen yet. So I can appreciate it. In a ball. Watching through my cheetoh-stained fingers. And DANG did I have high hopes for the quirky campy queens like Utica and Tina and even Kandy. 

Let's all take a collective breath as we go through this. 

IIIIIIINHALE. EEEEEXHALEEEEEEKAFJHLKADJHFAKDJHFLA. 

GREAT. 

First we had Rosé, Denali and LalaRi and I gotta say I was so pleasantly surprised by all of them! I thought Rosé and Denali were great in their obnoxious characters and Lala flinching when the spotlight turned on when she walked in got me so good. Though I thought it was incredibly charming that Lala did her comedy research in between episodes (aka watching Martin Lawrence as iconic Shanaynay), it didn't completely pay off. Her performance was bumpier than her hilariously mismatched baby bump. 

Then we have Mik, Olivia and Utica. Ugh. I was so READY for this to be Utica's moment. But as soon as she and Olivia had the TAMEST fight over who got to play the mime character and Utica awkwardly gave up the role I knew it was over. Though Tina hasn't rubbed me the best way this season, her read on Olivia being a sneaky polite diva MADE ME SCREAM. What an accurate burn from the back burner, Tina! Don't get me wrong I love the Lux but in that moment I called sneaky shenanigans! Suddenly that gorgeous smile had shades of evil grin to me. Hmm hmm hmm. But, it's a competition and I can't hold it against her. And Utica having previous improv experience should have been able to hold her own in any part and....ugh, it pains me to say this, but can we call in the bomb sniffing dogs because...SHE BOMBED. Oof, I'm still not over it. It also gave me cold chill flashbacks of every terrible improv show I did back in NYC. The horror! Mik was solid through the whole scene and Olivia, god bless her, was wonderful. Her silent performance screamed. I gotta hand it to her. *mimes giving my actual hand to her*

Moving on to Kandy and Symone, who, if I'm honest, I didn't watch as carefully because I was still reeling from Utica's situation. But I thought they were smart to start the scene lower and build up the energy. Kandy gave us a smaller, more reserved performance and Symone, as always, gave us the greatest gift by staying present and in control. Last we had Tina and Elliott who I thought did ....pretty okay. And that's all you can really hope from an improv scene on Drag Race. Tina shined more than I've seen her. Her sitting backwards on her chair with her ass out did make me actually laugh out loud. Elliott, as expected didn't wow me, but she didn't totally crash and (tina) burn(er). But what really hit for me with them this episode was their candid conversation about their experience with depression. Elliott has clinical depression and Tina's mom suffered with it her whole life. Seeing them connect as real humans in that conversation was way more moving than watching them teabag each other. But maybe that's just me!

Then we have our runway! Category is: BEAD IT! Side note: I loved watching them reenact Maury moments in the werkroom while they got ready. Maybe Mamrie and I should start doing that to warm up for future shows. Hmmm. 

Okay my quick roundup:

-Denali: looked awesome as a chandelier that Sia wishes she could swing from. I kept getting 'forgotten character from Beauty and the Beast'?

-Rosé: looked cute as always...and, side note, Elliott and Chip recently made iron-on bead art when we hung out in Big Bear weeks ago and that shit TAKES A LONG TIME...so I have huge respect for the construction of Rosé's garment!

-LalaRi: very Shakira, very hips don't lie...hips don't Lala? 

-GottMik: I didn't think I would have such an artistic appreciation for anal beads. And that makeup? *chef's kiss* (also by typing in anal beads Patreon has let me know some of the language featured in this post goes against community guidelines lol whoops!)

-Olivia: I thought it was cute but I kept getting Kandy backpack dress flashbacks? Still, she pulled it off

-Utica: A queen of hearts S&M murder bride...and here I was thinking Tina's read of you having dead bodies in your closet went too far? 

-Kandy: Gorg! Very JLo! Hats off to you!

-Symone: UGH ANOTHER INCREDIBLE LOOK. And her name in her hair? Wow I loved it

-Tina: I'm torn. (whoops pun) I wasn't super impressed with the first reveal but the second one was fun. Still, her wig and makeup didn't work for me but I get that she's trying to take the judges critiques into account. She did her breast. 

-Elliott: Lovely, but I was slightly bored with the multiple Mardi Gras themes by this point. Still, she pulled it off...unlike Tina who just actually pulled it off.

Then we get our critiques and Olivia is our winner and Elliott and Lala are our lovely losers. I'm happy my quirky, creepy Utica slashed her way to safety, but I really hope she can break out of her goofy box and give us more next week. Also I was surprised Denali and Rosé didn't get more praise. I felt for their frustration in Untucked. I thought they did great this week but the judges only seem to have eyes for Olivia and Symone. It's a tough season, y'all! 

Sadly, we ended up getting the FULL LaLaRi experience. She sashayed while Elliott shantayed. I thought they both brought it on the lip sync so in my mind it was anyone's gig. But I think Lala had mentally tapped out and it was her time. She was fantastic from start to finish so she should be so proud. I'm grateful to have experienced LaLaRi and I will miss her goofy talking heads. Lord, who's still not a bitch, thank you for giving us LaLaRi.

And that's all I got for you this week! What'd you think? I want Utica to step it up and I want Denali and Rosé to get over being "pissed boots" and give the top ladies a run for their tips! Okay, I gotta go check on the maybe ghosts! Have great weekends, y'all! ❤️G