Grace's Drag Race Season 13 First Impressions

Hellllllllo Patrons and happy 2021 to all of you beautiful and foolish creepy weird pervs! How are you doing? How are you feeling? Has anyone made any incredible mistakes yet??? Don't worry, it's not too late to turn it around! In 2021 I'm all about low expectations, high fun and all the curious things in between! 

I'm not sure how many of you watch Drag Race, but season 13 JUST started and I have some thoughts after squealing like an excited baby through the full 90 minute premiere last night! I figured I'd throw them up here and depending on how many of you watch/want any of my thoughts on the gorgeous program maybe we'll do like a weekly recap thingy moving forward? Let me know if you'd be up for that! I'd love to have something we're all watching and gossiping about! And if you hate that idea I'm okay with quickly forgetting I ever suggested it! 

Well, here we go! Start those mutha-fuckin' engines, biznitches! 

(side note: I just Google'd biznitch to see if that was an actual word of if my brain made it up and Google's definition is: rude slang A friend. The term is a version of the word "bitch," which can be used ironically to refer to one's friend. Of course Lisa's coming to the party—she's been my biznitch for years. lololol Google is so stupid) 

My apologies that I'll likely give away spoilers, so if you haven't watched the premiere episode yet stop reading and GO DO IT! Warning over, here we go! Rev rev vroom vroom car sound car sound! 

Overall, I thought the premiere was GREAT! Elliott (with two T's but not the queen) actually watched the whole thing with me and had a great time in between my screeching and clapping and jumping on the couch from pure excitement (and a couple cocktails). I was GOOPED GAGGED GLOOBED AND GENUINELY FLABBERFLUSTERED when they revealed the immediate lip sync battles! What a wonderful twist! I smacked Elliott on the arm and screamed "THIS IS A BIG DEAL!!!" To which he said "....seems like it." So let's just go in order of the entrances and I'll give my first impressions of these queens! 

Kandy Muse: I LOVE THIS BITCH. She's got such a perfect Khloe-Kardashian-smelling-a-fart resting face and I can't get enough! She's just funny, and sometimes she's trying to be and sometimes it's just happening to her. She has the perfect 'what the fuck is going on' reaction face and a sweet, silly sensibility that I love. She feels confident without putting it all the way on. Know what I mean? She's got a sassy DIY quality that makes her so charming. Her lip sync was hilarious and the way her body moves just makes me so happy. I'm rooting for her hard! 

Joey Jay: I like her, but I think she's got a teeny tiny nag quality in her personality that irked me just a teeny tiny bit. I do think that maybe she was just nervous and that she'll settle into herself over the season. I also couldn't stop thinking about how much she looked like Jan from last season in her entrance look and so I didn't get a unique sense of her. But what the cluck do I know, maybe she's fantastic??? 

Denali: She seemed fun but nervous BUT THOSE SKATES. She came in on A PAIR OF FUCKING ICE SKATES. She did her whole lip synch on A PAIR OF FUCKING ICE SKATES. She then lost her lip sync ON A PAIR OF FUCKING ICE SKATES. lololol! And that's why this show is so great. Unlike Who's Line Is It Anyway, they don't hand you a crown because you brought props. The poor girl did a cartwheel in ice skates and still got PORKCHOPPED ugh I love it. I think Denali will do fine, maybe not great, but fine. She has a little Jackie Cox energy to her and I loved me some Cox so who knows! 

LaLaRi: I loved LaLa! She's got those fun, friendly wild eyes that you can tell she's there to have a fucking GREAT time. And she killed her lip sync - enough to take out someone ON A PAIR OF FUCKING ICE SKATES. I think she'll do well, maybe not top three but close. 

Symone: First of all, Symone is STUUUUUUNNING. I couldn't stop starring at her, her eyes are G-G-G-G-GORGEOUS. And she's working her 25 year old body in a dress the size of a napkin covered in pictures of herself. The ego of it all, I love it! But she doesn't seem like a total air head, ya know? She was quick and sharp when she was talking to Ru and it surprised me! I'm a big fan of tiny Symone!   

Tamisha Iman: Tamisha is a 30+ year experienced queen with a STORY. She was supposed to be on last season but found out she had cancer and couldn't do it. So she bowed out, beat her cancer and then tapped Ru on the shoulder and was like hey, I'm back now. And now she's on this season! I love it! The lip sync match up between her and Symone was a bit of a battle of old school vs new school but Tamisha looked GOOD imho. Though her shoulder shakes weren't enough I think she'll be a fierce competitor. She's got heart and experience and I hope she's more than just a pageant girl. Also I lol'd SO HARD when she said "the lady said go home" to all the squawking queens trying to figure out if they were actually eliminated or not. I'll be looking to her for one-liners and reaction shots to all the clucky young chickens throughout the season! 

Gottmik: Ohhhhh Gottmik is so interesting! She's got a tinge of jaded celebrity make up artist mixed with that sweet, young excitable queen energy and I'm not totally sure what to make of her! I like her and think she's crazy talented (her IG is bonkers) I just can't wait to see her act stupid, ya know? I got a little bit of Pearl vibes (just a little) so I hope she can be a total messy goof and have a real fall-on-her-perfectly-beautiful-face-and-get-back-up-with-a-loveable-broken-toothed-smile kinda moment. Know what I mean? Regardless I can see her in top three.

Utica Queen: Speaking of lovable goof, this is my GIRL! I loooooove Utica! What a wonderful little weirdo! She's got that Thorgy Thor lanky nerd energy without the calculated anxiety. So far, at least. I'm already a big fan. She's got that "I'm just so happy to be here" giddy grin and I BELIEVE IT. She just seems so damn happy to be there! It makes my heart smile. I'm worried she'll be one of those queens that gets in her own way, but even if she does she'll have a great time doing it! I don't know if she'll be at the top but I'm hoping she surprises herself! 

Rose: Ugh, I love Rose! She walked in looking like an Alyssa Edwards wannabe with a blacked out tooth! It was perfect! She's got that experienced 'bad bitch' energy but I feel like she'll have the talent to back her bad bitch up. She's been on like 47 other reality shows, so she clearly knows how this shit works. I mean it already looked like she was making eye contact with every producer she could find off camera as soon as she had to lip sync so if the show is ever down a PA Rose can step in and run the whole fucking thing. Though she lost her lip sync, I feel like she's got that 'fool me once' kinda bad bitch recalibration magic and she'll never let herself end up on the bottom again. I think she'll do well solely because she's done this shit on TV multiple times (she's got the nerve and talent), I just wonder if she's got enough uniqueness to get in the top. 

Olivia Lux: Okay, Olivia's smile should be straight up illegal. if Mamrie loses the power in her house again she should call up Olivia and just get her to grin in her general direction because her mouth LIGHTS UP a damn room! I mean, WOW. Though she beat a seasoned Rose in the first lip sync I'm worried that since Olivia's only been doing drag for 7 seconds her inexperience will be her downfall. But I guess we'll see! Look at me talking like one of those sports experts that talks about sports men in the sports preseason! 

Tina Burner: Tina Burner is a big. Everything about her is big. Her body, her mouth, her reputation, her body, you get it. She's one of those queens that's impossible to put on the back burner because she'll just scream at you until you mover her up front. I think she's so fun, I just worry she might be too big for her britches. She's a legend in NYC but I feel like legends have a harder time on the show. She's gotta lego of the ego and drink some humiliTEA. I'm delirious. I think she'll be a blast to watch, and they're already setting up that her and Rose have sticky history so you know I'll be eating up all of that drama with whatever clean silverware I can find. I can see her in maybe top 5-ish. 

Kahmora Hall: KAHmora is stunning and the sister of last season's winner Jaida Essence Hall so she's got big sister shoes to fill. I can't get a total read on her yet, but she entered in a Bob Mackie gown that she purchased at an auction so if she doesn't win I think financially she might be just fine. I'm interested to see more of her personality - she's another one of those that I'm hoping isn't solely stunning and can get sloppy and silly when she needs to!

Elliott with Two Ts: Last but not least, and the main/obvious reason Elliott watched the entire episode with me, is Elliott with Two Ts! What a sweetie! She's beautiful and the fact that she describes her drag as 'a housewife with a secret' killed me. She's a dancer so we have high hopes for her performances. I think she did a fine job in the first ep I just worry she's not as big as the other bigs so she might get lost in the sauce (with no Ts). We'll see! 

Okay, wow that took me way longer than I expected but I just got so damn excited! I'm curious what you guys think if you've watched the first episode and what your predictions are for the season? So far my front runners are Kandy, Gottmik, Utica, Symone and Rose...what do you think? And let me know if you'd like some little weekly recaps up here! I'll make sure to keep them way more succinct in the future! But who knows!?! Happy 2021, Patrons! The lady said go home! ❤️G