The Secret Checkup 3, on hold indefinitely

Hello all,

As you've maybe noticed, I haven't been very active with drawing lately. Interests shifted, zero motivation and the overall turnover has just not been worth the build up of stress and anxiety.

The Secret Checkup as a concept started out as a commission that has been very stressful to work with from the start. The communication with the commissioner was rough, the idea was unclear, the story was unclear, but I was motivated and needed the income. In the end it proved to be a milestone, but it came at some cost. The commission and communication fell apart through the process, I cut off contacts with the commissioner due to failure of payments and the final stage was a drag. Eventually it got finished and was released. It was not a good time.

Several years later, I decided to do a part two follow up on the comic due to demand, but I was never motivated enough to make it from start until the end in one go. Eventually it was finished, and I felt some personal satisfaction finishing it, as it provided some closure. Again, the effort was not reflecting the result, despite the good reception. It already felt like closure.

Now, I started part three as a continuation of part two, which I shouldn't have. Part two somehow rounded the relationships between the characters and from there on -for me- it would just feel like a repetition of what already has been said and done. There would only be the challenge of creation, no development or new stuff.

At the same time of starting development on part three, I got interested in actively modding games and creating 3D objects, so I decided to integrate this part in the comic. All backgrounds, characters and objects in the comic would be based on 3D models to provide the best linework, most realistic -or believable- settings and create a route for more streamlined production. To a certain extent, this actually worked great! Everything matched, only some rescaling was needed and integration would be almost hassle free.

During development however, interests towards 3D creation increased, eating away time from the comic. Financial trouble was looming and the global pandemic slowly has started to take its toll on me, like most people. However, I kept drawing stuff until a few months ago, everything suddenly came crashing down out of nowhere and I just put down my pen for weeks. My energy was just gone. I have my art blocks from time to time and they maybe last a week or so as a maximum, but this felt different. I'm slowly crawling out of this multi-month art block, but it made me realise I'm doing too many things that I can't finish. Even if I were to make a schedule, the effort and input doesn't warrant the satisfaction of the output. Do I sound like a self-sorry artist already?

The Secret Checkup as a whole has been baggage I can't carry any more. There's still the weight of the first part that has been crushing me with every part and I need to get rid of it. It's a chapter that should have been closed after part two, but because of the popularity I decided to continue. Despite people waiting eagerly for me to finish, there's no joy in finishing the comic.

As of today, the Special Supporter Tier has been closed.

Thank you for understanding.

Toni