Adopted - Chapter 2

Second Event

At age 12, I was used to all sorts of punishments from my mother, and by extension from Aiko. I had wished Aiko and I could have been true sisters but, we were not even close to be friends. She called me “foot sniffer” or “worm” or even “toe jam”. It was very humiliating cause as much as I hated it, it was kinda true. I would spend so many time at their feet, I was disgusted and fed up of it. But at the end of the day my mother would grow me back to normal size and things could go back to normal…ish.

But one day I made a terrible mistake. I was mad for whatever reason and I told my mom without thinking: “You should have left me at the orphanage!” She popped a gasket. Honestly, she got so angry she slapped me, pushed me down to the floor, and kicked me. She stomped me and screamed in Japanese. She was so savage, she made my nose bleed. She then, completely angry and overwhelmed by it, got her shrinking device and shrunk me without consideration down to the minuscule size of half an inch tall. Since the first event, this was the first time I was shrunk THAT small and I was scared like never before. What a mistake, I should have shut up.

The problem with that key moment of my life wasn’t the treatment itself. I knew what was coming. I knew I would spend hours inside her shoes or Aiko’s shoes. What I didn’t know, is that she would keep me small like that for a complete week. I had grown very durable and able to sustain torture in shoes and at small size. I also was used to get trampled by her or my sister. I was almost a pro at being stepped on since it happened a lot. But I wasn’t a pro at being shrunk for a complete week and being trodden on without mercy for that long.

My mom wore me inside all the footwear she had, from casual shoes to knee high boots, to loafers, or even sneakers. When she wasn’t wearing me inside her shoes, she handed me to Aiko to do the same. Aiko went to school with me stuffed inside her sock, inside her school shoes all week long and she made sure I had hell of a time.

But during that week one thing happened that made me truly fear for my life. One of Aiko’s friend had the not so brilliant idea to have me tied with a fine twine, around the neck like if they were going to hang me. Aiko did it. Once she had tied it around my neck like a leash, she pulled me up in the air in front of her face and laughed at me along with her friends at school. Then she attached the other end of the tiny string to her school loafer. That shoe I was used to be inside, but tied to it I got immediately scared of that stupid idea. Once it was done, I was on the school floor and Aiko decided to swing her legs, sending me flying around following the shoe. Then back on the floor I landed hard and her shoe was threatening to crush me. She did that a few times before standing up and… she started walking like if I wasn’t even there. I was sent flying around at each step, hit the thick shoe sole or heel, or the floor, sometimes I even landed in top of the shoe itself only to be sent flying again and almost crushed by othe people’s shoes or Aiko’s. The twine was about 6 inches long and I was dangling at the end of it. I was dragged on the dusty school floors, kicked, and crushed a few times.

Now about the crush part, no I didn’t die, how would I be writing this today if I had, duh! But honestly, it was a close call each time. Her loafer had some treaded soles and I got stuck under in between the treads. Aiko didn’t care at all. She could have killed me she didn’t care. I spent full classes at her feet, she would cross her legs, letting me dangle from the shoe, or uncross them and step on me under her desk while the teacher was talking. She shoeplayed, making sure sometimes she would push me inside the shoe and put it back on, and out, and in, and again. It gave me the feeling I was just a little plaything dangling from the shoe.

She walked all the way back home with me tied like that to the shoe, sending me scraping the concrete ground. She stepped in water puddles on purpose, ran in the grass, stomped the ground next to me. All on purpose, to scare me like never before. Her huge shoe became an object of nightmares.

“Don’t get stepped on!” she would say to me while walking. “Careful Karyn, I could crush you to death!” Like if I could do anything to prevent this. She was just being cruel towards me. She dragged me like this, almost lifeless, as I was exhausted, bruised, tired, full of dust and out of my mind. I didn’t have the strength to scream anymore.

When she got back home she removed her shoes and laughed at me, then showed our mother Yumi what she did. My mother laughed at me and hugged her true daughter while I was still on the hallway floor next to her discarded shoe.

“Keep her like this for the rest of the week.” Said my mother to my great surprise. A churning sensation of hate and anger got into me and I tried to get free, but the knot was too strong for me.

I spent 2 more days tied to that shoe like a slave. Aiko stepped on me numerous times, almost killed me numerous times. At the end, I wasn’t scared to die anymore, I almost wished it would happen. The fact my mother encouraged this torture was a true sign that she didn’t love me. I only wanted to be loved and I was denied that. Instead, I was a hanging to a shoe like a key chain, doomed to be sent flying around or to be stepped on.

And that’s when Aiko wasn’t just resting her shoe sole on me, ordering me to lick it. The best moments were during evenings and nights, I as left alone, tied to the shoe in the house’s hallway near the closet. At least, during those times, there was some peace.

Still today this event is one of the worse that happened to me and I have nightmares about it. I wake up all sweaty in panic, images of a black school loafer crushing me to death, under immense pressure. I truly wish things had been different with my adopting family. I wish it all away. I wish it could just go, and leave me be. But those images keep haunting me, keeping me in a semi scared state all the time. It really is hard to live with post-traumatic stress.

But the worse thing that happened to me, the single most worse event, is when I turned 18.

God… please, if you exist, give me the courage to at least write it down.