[TB] DAWN -- Chapter 4

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“What’s all this, then?” Stoneheart wondered. Heat burned against Stoneheart’s back, and it was barely sunhigh. He glanced over at his mate, who was picking his way around the star flowers that grew within the long grass.

As much as Stoneheart liked the star flower grove, he couldn’t help but be bothered by his mate’s choice in hunting ground. “What’re we doing here? This a poor place to hunt.”

Rowanclaw flicked his tail, drawing Stoneheart closer to him. “Hunting wasn’t my only aim when I asked you to come with me, you know.” He touched his nose to Stoneheart’s ear. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Stoneheart’s heart beat in his ears. Oh no, he wondered, panic in his paws. What did I do?

“Oh, don’t look like that!” Rowanclaw purred. He pressed his body against Stoneheart’s. “You’re not in trouble.”

“Good to know,” Stoneheart sighed, relieved. There was just too much on his mind right now to wonder about if he’d offended Rowanclaw in some way. Maybe this is a good chance to tell him about my dreams...? Best to let him speak first: “What is it, then?”

Rowanclaw hesitated, his face turning thoughtful. He stared up, up into the pale blue sky. Stoneheart followed his gaze – there was barely a whisp of cloud above to help beat the heat, but it was a nice sight.

“I want to have kittens.”

Stoneheart pulled his eyes away from the sky, staring at his mate in shock. “Y-You do?!”

Rowanclaw nodded. “I do,” he purred, smiling widely. “I’ve made my decision!”

Stoneheart swallowed around a lump in his throat. Since they had become mates, kits were always a question floating in the air – there was no pressure, of course, but it was going to come up eventually. Any hopes Stoneheart had of confiding his dreams in Rowanclaw faded – I can’t put that on him while we’re talking about this!

“You look like a startled squirrel,” Rowanclaw commented, his eyes glittering nervously. “What is it?”

“I just...” Stoneheart scrambled for words. “I wasn’t expecting this.”

“I’ve thought about it a lot,” Rowanclaw admitted, looking down at his paws. “And... I talked to Brick and Finchsong, too...”

“Before me?”

Rowanclaw’s whiskers twitched. “I decided to take a step out of your path and get as much information as I could – which I did! They were very helpful.”

Stoneheart blinked, settling his twitching tail. He felt his mate’s playful jab – Stoneheart had consulted Brick and Finchsong, even Oakheart at a Gathering, before asking Rowanclaw to be his mate.

But... kits? Stoneheart had a hard time wrapping his head around it. Were they too young? Was it too soon? What would they look like, and who would they grow to be? That last question worried him the most.

“You’re not saying anything,” Rowanclaw noted, a half-chuckle in his voice, “and that worries me.”

“It’s just... it’s a scary thought,” Stoneheart explained. He struggled again for words, trying to grasp them in his claws before they escaped entirely, like fleeing prey. “My mother... her legacy still hurts the Clans to this day... and beyond that, she never truly loved us. I just worry...”

“It’s been seasons since Bluestar,” Rowanclaw pointed out. “And you’re nothing like her – not one bit.”

“I know that, and I would love our kits to pieces, but...” Stoneheart hesitated. It was very difficult to put words to his hesitation. “I’m just... worried. Not just about that, either – what about you?”

“What about me?”

Stoneheart curled his tail close to his paws, knowing he was treading on thin ice here. “What if it makes you too uncomfortable? I wouldn’t want to put you through that. We could find a surrogate, too...”

Rowanclaw’s eyes darkened, and he frowned. “You’re right, I suppose.” He looked back up at the sky again. “I think I have a good idea of how it will make me feel, but how can I know based only on what Finchsong has told me? What I do know is that it is something that I want to try and do, and I want to try and do it with you.”

Stoneheart was touched, but worry still wriggled in his heart. He butted his head against Rowanclaw’s, forcing a purr.

“Finchsong said she’d help me with everything,” Rowanclaw went on, his eyes shining. “We don’t have to try right away, though...”

Something in his voice made Stoneheart feel like he wanted to. He really wants this, Stoneheart realized, but what of my dreams? What if they mean something bad? It would be wrong to start trying for kits with such ominous warnings playing in Stoneheart’s nightmares.

“We should probably hunt for the Clan, first,” Stoneheart mewed, taking the out. “Blackfoot will have our tails if we don’t.”

Rowanclaw hesitated, then meowed, “Y-Yes, of course! Let’s go.”

As they left the grove, Stoneheart knew that some part of Rowanclaw was disappointed that he hadn’t been as enthusiastic about kits. He pressed his body against his mate’s, grateful that the dark ginger tom wasn’t pulling away.

“I love you,” Stoneheart offered. “Soon, okay?”

Rowanclaw glanced at him, and his eyes were warm. “I love you, too.”

———————————————————

“Uncle Stoneheart? Uncle Stoneheart, wake up already!”

I don’t want to.

“Hush, Willowkit! Don’t be rude.” Finchsong’s voice was clearly losing patience.

“But Mum, he’s not getting up!”

Let me stay in my dreams...

“He will wake when he’s ready.”

That’s where Rowanclaw is.

Stoneheart felt something push against his shoulder. “I want to hear about the lake, though!” complained another voice. He guessed it was Rushkit, Willowkit’s brother.

“You two are going to wake Tallpoppy’s kits if you keep this up!” Stoneheart could hear exasperation in Finchsong’s voice. “Be quiet or go outside!”

There was a crunch of bracken, and Stoneheart sensed that the kits were relenting. He tried to nestle himself further into the slapdash nest he’d made in the nursery the night before – he just couldn’t bear to be in the warrior’s den without Rowanclaw - but he knew he couldn’t sleep any longer. He thought he could scent his mate one last time as he opened his eyes.

The ShadowClan nursery was situated in a hollowed-out bush near the back of the camp, with rushes and pricker sticks bent together to fill in the gaps and keep out nosy predators. It was warm, lined with the softest moss apprentices could find, and smelled faintly of borage from Tallpoppy, who had stepped away from her sleeping newborns to stretch her legs. The older queen had disapproved of Stoneheart nesting in the nursery, but Finchsong had made a convincing case – he would need a friend’s presence to help him grieve for Rowanclaw.

“See? He’s up, now,” Finchsong sighed. “Why don’t you two go and fetch us some breakfast, hm? There ought to be something fit for the four of us.”

Stoneheart was too tired, mentally, to really think about how one piece of prey per four cats was simply unheard of for ShadowClan, even for leaf-bare – that just seemed to be the state they were in right now. He watched Willowkit and Rushkit waddle out of the nursery, their voices chirping over the hum of Twoleg monsters in the distance.

Finchsong sighed. “I love them, but it feels like the instant they hit three moons they just became so exhausting!” Stoneheart felt her breath on his ear. “How are you doing?”

Stoneheart could move, but he didn’t want to. “Poorly,” he replied quietly. A hard lump formed in his chest, and his eyes stung. He wanted to wail aloud, but he was conscious of Tallpoppy’s kittens just nearby. “I thought he would be here when I came back. I thought – oh StarClan, I miss Rowanclaw...”

“I know,” Finchsong murmured. She bent her head and began grooming out the moss from his pelt. “We all do.”

“I need to look for him,” Stoneheart decided. He flexed his claws in his nest. “I... we can’t leave without him!”

“We tried,” Finchsong reminded him. She ran her tail along his spine soothingly. “When Wolftooth came back with the report of what happened, he and Russetstar both took patrols out right away – but they didn’t find any trace of where he’d gone.”

Stoneheart fought to keep himself from trembling. The story was that Wolftooth and Rowanclaw had gone out hunting together towards the Thunderpath. Rowanclaw had reportedly found strange, boxy objects that held a lot of food inside – kittypet food, but it would have lasted ShadowClan for a quarter moon. When he went inside to fetch one, the box had shut itself in behind him, leaving Rowanclaw no way out.

Wolftooth had explained that sometimes Twolegs leave similar traps out in Twolegplace – if a cat was careful, they could sneak the food out without getting caught. If a cat was caught, oftentimes the Twolegs that set the trap weren’t nearby – a crafty cat could help the unlucky one escape. Unfortunately, the Twolegs had come to pick Rowanclaw up before Wolftooth could free him.

Stoneheart had been too delirious with the news the day before to hear much more than that. He’d tried to run away and search for Rowanclaw himself, but Russetstar and Blackfoot stopped him – it was too dangerous now that the Twolegs had claimed so much land near Fourtrees and the Black Fens. ShadowClan had little safe space near the Thunderpath these days, and too many mouths to feed to spare more search parties.

And he’s not even the only one! Stoneheart thought. He stared at the sliver of sunlight peeking through the nursery’s entrance. The idea that the Clans might leave cats behind in their exodus from the forest was always in the back of Stoneheart’s mind, but... he hadn’t thought Rowanclaw might be one of them.

He swallowed, thinking of his greater purpose. “How is the Clan taking the news?” He’d barely registered the fact that ShadowClan knew about the real reason Stoneheart left. If his Clanmate’s questions hadn’t been about Rowanclaw, they’d passed right through his ears. Which is probably why Russetstar had Blackfoot tell the Clan, not me. Embarrassment pricked his pelt. She knew I wouldn’t be able to handle myself once I knew that Rowanclaw was missing.

Finchsong, blessedly unaware of Stoneheart’s internal monologue, shifted. “Well... it seems like they’re struggling with the idea. Some cats are having a harder time than others.”

That’s to be expected. “What do you think?” he asked.

Finchsong frowned. “I had to leave my home once before,” she meowed carefully. “Twolegplace wasn’t safe. That was awful, and my life here has been amazing, but... it’s not going to be safe here for much longer, either.”

“Your kits seem excited,” Stoneheart offered, seeing the uncertainty on his friend’s face.

“Oh, I know,” Finchsong sighed, “but kits are always excited about the world outside the camp. I was barely older than them when we left Twolegplace – I don’t think they realize how hard a journey like this will be.”

“Will? So, you’re on board?”

Finchsong’s whiskers twitched. “I’m more on board than most,” she admitted. She looked Stoneheart in the eyes. “You’re my best friend, and I trust you. If StarClan sent you on this mission to find us a new home, then why wouldn’t I put my faith in them, and in you?”

For the first time since Stoneheart heard the news about Rowanclaw, he felt warm. He pressed his muzzle against Finchsong’s. “Thank you.”

“Now, as for the rest of the Clan... it won’t be easy,” Finchsong pointed out. “Already, some cats are-”

“Some cats are what, now?” Tallpoppy’s sharp voice cut Finchsong off. The leggy queen pushed herself into the nursery, swiping her tongue over her muzzle to clean off the scraps of her breakfast. She settled herself gently into her nest and then glowered over at Finchsong and Stoneheart.

Stoneheart could feel Finchsong’s hesitation. “We’re talking about moving to the lake,” he explained.

Tallpoppy scoffed. “Rubbish,” she decided. “Count me out of that nonsense. The Twolegs will be done and gone by leaf-bare and that’s that.”

“You can’t know that!” Finchsong protested. “And StarClan-”

Tallpoppy glared at Stoneheart. “All I know for sure is that Stoneheart and some friends decided to take a break from Clan life. They could make up any excuse for that.”

“Littlecloud and Russetstar agree with me!” Stoneheart felt his shoulder fur rise. “We’re going to see the other Clans tonight to make plans!”

Tallpoppy’s whiskers twitched. “We’ll see about that,” was all she countered with.

It was all Stoneheart could take. He got to his paws and pushed his way out of the nursery and into the clearing.

It felt like all activity stopped the moment he did – every cat paused in what they were doing to stare for a long moment, eyes round as if he were about to shoot off again. Then, they put their muzzles together to whisper, a mix of sympathy and uncertainty in their tones.

Stoneheart felt a butterfly in his belly. ShadowClan hadn’t been so suspicious of him since he left ThunderClan to join them. He’d thought he’d earned their trust by now! He quelled his jump to anger quickly. I came home with earth-shattering news. I’m not surprised they’re wary.

He moved to the fresh-kill pile, cutting around the Clanrock to break line of sight with his Clanmates. He was sure their questions and judgement would come just as Tallpoppy’s had – whether he wanted it or not. Willowkit and Rushkit were bickering over which piece of prey would feed four cats – a lone bird and a frog were the only choices.

Rowanclaw would want the frog, Stoneheart thought idly. He’d never been too fond of frogs, but Rowanclaw loved them.

Thoughts of Rowanclaw clouded his mind again, blinding him to the world around him until he felt Finchsong’s breath on his shoulder: “Stoneheart, there you are!”

“Mum!” Willowkit turned around at the sound of his mother’s voice. At the sight of Stoneheart, his eyes widened. “What’s wrong with Stoneheart?”

Stoneheart blinked. Did he look bad? He self-consciously shook out his pelt.

“It’s all right, kits,” Finchsong soothed. “Let’s take our meal by the Clanrock – give Tallpoppy and her kittens some space.”

“Okay!” Rushkit lunged forward and grabbed the bird from the fresh-kill pile. Willowkit, not to be outdone, shot ahead, clearly trying to find the perfect spot to eat while Rushkit was busy stumbling over their meal.

Stoneheart glanced at the frog one more time before following Finchsong. Willowkit’s chosen spot was right in the sunshine, by a tuft of nettles that grew near the Clanrock. He circled the space three times before sitting in it proudly.

When all four of them were seated, Finchsong pushed the bird over to Stoneheart. The bird was fatter, at least, than the ones that he’d hunted in the mountains. He took a bite and, recalling the Tribe’s tradition, found himself passing it on to the kits.

The bird tasted dry, like he was chewing wood – but his body was grateful for the meal. “Where’s Cedarheart?” he asked, swallowing.

“On patrol,” Finchsong replied. “Russetstar sent him, Orre, and Pinewhisker over towards Fourtrees, to see if there’s a clear route for your meeting tonight.”

“I want to go!” Rushkit exclaimed, mouth full of feathers.

“Me too!” Willowkit yowled.

Finchsong’s whiskers twitched. “It’ll just be Russetstar, Blackfoot, Littlecloud, and Stoneheart tonight, kits,” she meowed.

Both kits sulked. “I want to see Fourtrees...” whined Rushkit.

Stoneheart opened his mouth to say you’ll see it when you’re apprentices, but he caught himself. He glanced at Finchsong and realized that she had been about to do the same. Not only was Fourtrees destroyed, but if the Clans were leaving the forest... no kits would ever grow to see Fourtrees again.

The kits didn’t seem to notice, or realize it themselves. They were too busy with plucking feathers off of their fresh-kill until Finchsong had to scold them and pull it away to get her share.

Stoneheart looked up at the sky. The sun was hardly moving, and it was barely sunhigh. He urged it to go more quickly. He could hear the Twoleg monsters roaring in the distance, and they seemed closer than they were yesterday. We need to hurry!

“I should go hunting,” Stoneheart decided. His paws were restless – he needed to do something to take his mind off of Rowanclaw and the uncertain future of the Clans.

“We could use the food,” Finchsong agreed. Her kits were now fighting over a long tail feather, rolling over and over in the grass to see who would win the prize. Finchsong edged out of their way patiently. “Maybe you could catch something for Brick? She’s taken Rowanclaw’s disappearance hard, too.”

Stoneheart swallowed. “Yeah, I should.” He touched his nose to Finchsong’s ear. “Thanks, Finchsong – for everything.”

“Anytime, Stoneheart.” The pale gray she-cat blinked. “What’re friends for, otherwise?”