talking to despair of

I made to despair of basically around the same time as fading days away, so october and into early november 2014. Most likely all of it was during october (except for vocals), and I intentionally had the release date be in november, for the significance of the date. These songs feel very novemembr to me,. October is to november what fading days away is to to despair of. This album was never released digitally because I wanted at least something of mine to shine in the beautiful way that music does when it only exists on a limited physical format. I love that reclusiveness of demo tapes. The quality of the recordings is so bad that I might have to remaster the audio, and not because it’s lo fi (obviously, you know me) but because it’s literally so quiet, you cant hear the quiet sectiosn where its just clean guitar or bass, and the label who pressed it on tapes also uses poor quality tapes so basically ou can’t hear anything. I actually think I did remaster them, and someone uploaded the songs on youtube, but if you ever come across the original tape extractions you’ll know what I meanThese songs are very, sad and depressed. Idon’t know how else to describe it. This is almost as lonely as some of the songs on my project “left alone…” I could talk about each track individually but theyre essentially all the same, all the same desires, loneliness, the same wishfullness for the same touch of light.

I loved you...

you burned a flame… it still

I’m sorry…

disappointment

another

all alone….

I can’t live with this despair

it hurts so much…

I don’t want to be alone

I don’t want to be alone

I don’t want to be alone

I don’t want to be alone

I don’t want to be alone

I don’t want to be alone

I don’t want to be alone…….

all I ever needed was november

branches loving you…

every fallen moment will fall unto you

when we kiss

every painful memory of sole longing

I am praying, please don’t let go..

please don’t let go

please don’t let go

These are all 3 songs, you can probably infer where each track separates. These were all written on the same page of one of my journals. If I remember correctly I was sitting on my roof on a november night writing these, at least the last track “please don’t let go”. I feel like this album is already too personal so I won’t share anymore details