sadness - no goodbyes

i mentioned a while ago that I'm compiling a lot of songs (about 16) that I was making in 2015 that either never had a proper release or just simply were never finished. 2015 was probably the busiest year for me in terms of how much music I made, because even though I released like what, 13 albums? and in early 2016 i released at least 10 other albums which were really made in 2015. on top of that there was still an entire compilation albium's worth of music that was never actualy released or finish fully, songs such as cutting emptiness, carmen, smile, and no goodbyes. these will all appear  on "old songs 2015". no goodbyes is easily recognizable from my youtube channel. two days ago I just remastered the audio (what you hear here). the instrumental was recorded in may 2015, I think may 25? I can't check right now because I have to use starbucks wifi everytime I want to upload my music now. but it was definitely at the end of the school year (my senior year in highschool). I caled the music "no goodbyes" because it felt like I had to leave something and there were no goodbyes, no way to really have closure, just leaving. I'm talking about a person in particular, not school. fun fact, I have another song about this person from sadness (this song is on the mariposa album, which was also mostly made in 2015). I didn't touch the song for months after that until october 2015 when I revisited it to record vocals. at this point I was going through something entirely different in my life and I was sad about someone else (same thing that all my other music from that time talks about). I wrote no lyrics for this song, instead I followed the same workflow as I did on earlier sadness music like "close", which was recording vocals without the intention of composing anything, anything "good" even, or musical. I would just hit record and scream and cry and yell while listening to the song in my headphones, and call that a song, no planning any vocal patterns, entirely improvised and not even following any real rhythm really. it's a very pure and cathartic form of expression. almost all of my music is like that but most of the time I do write lyrics so when I record vocals I have words to actually say, but sometimes I wouldn't even have words. I would just make sounds and cry, or sometimes say whatever happened to come to my mind in that indivisible moment. that's exactly what I did here. when I was remastering this I noticed that I was saying actual words during some points at least, and i planned on going back and listening to the isolated vocal track and write down what I was saying but i forgot to do that and I cant do that now since I have to upload this from starbucks. I'll come back later and publish those "lyrics" unless I listen to it and realize it's way too personal to share. I know for a fact whatver I was saying was deeply personal and extremely exclusive to what I was going through at the time so there's a chance Iwon't want to share it. october 2015 I was still just constantly sad and heartbroken and lonely. in some way I guess I figured "no goodbyes" was fitting and relevant to what I was delivering vocally. if you;re a fan of the first sadness album you'll like this song because I think it has a very similar spirit and intention and the melodies are also similar. I don't know what else to say about this. this compilation will be released on bandcamp whenever all 16 or so songs are remastered/completed, and will also appear on spotify