blue

this song i made at the beginning of this month. recently something extremely impactful has been happening in my life, you can think of it as a certain encounter. without getting too personal with the backstory. i impulsively decided to release an unfinished video and unfinished mix of this song because of my internal chaos making me feel like i need to express something at all. i sort of regret it because i think this song sounds terrible, which is why i didn’t finish making an elaborate video for it (the original plan was to make an actual video and not typical slideshow) but then i started thinking that the song sucks and it’s not worth that much effort. whenever this finally sees an official album release it will have a better mix but for now i’ve stressed enough about it (and other things in my personal life) that i’ll worry about all of that later. which ultimately makes me regret publishing it out of some ridiculous emotional impulse. if you make music yourself you probably understand how it feels to be constantly discouraged about how the mix sounds , and the more you try to hyper focus on fixing it the more your ears fatigue and all of a sudden you don’t even know what anything is supposed to sound like at all. hope you enjoy it nonetheless

turning towards the shallow cascade raining from the ceiling

watching it fall over your back as it refracts the light from your skin

as you rest inside yourself

reaching your hands towards iridescent light

of the blue in your eyes

and i stare at your hands

as they become everything

somewhere writing distant words

they crystallize in the morningrise into innumerable patterns

even in such a burning desire to stand

i remain motionless

watching you

how your eyes lift into the room

I feel mirror rain slip into my hands

through my fingers

and running down my body

reaching the floor i see everything

just the mirrors in your eyes

in this moment we are discarnate

suspending in a delicate silence

only hearing the shimmering light in our eyes

this warm blue note

somehow like cold rain

wading in it

i watch your hands reach towards the color

i watch you rest your head on your shoulders

you rest your arms around yourself and you become formless

and i reach my hands towards yours

like resting our fingertips on the surface of a mirror

and our hands interlace into each other