R-a - Volume 3 - Chapter 20

R-a Chapter 178(In editing-v1)

Micheal was alone.

He found himself floating in the air, surrounded by nothingness on all sides. He could see his body, wearing a simple set of white robes, indicating he wasn’t in the real world.

Dreamworlds, like their name implied, were magically constructed worlds that differed from reality. Micheal’s ‘Spirit’ or ‘Soul’ was present here, while his body was resting peacefully in the room that housed the ‘King’s Challenge.’

This particular dreamworld was a mix of real and fake. The Treasure Room that Micheal had visited was very much real, as were the training rooms adjacent to it. The magnificent castle of the Magic Core, however, was fake.

Those real rooms were hidden within the dreamworld, acting as an in-between.

Micheal’s physical body had never moved from the King’s Challenge area. When he battled, his dreamworld body drew upon the Ki Energy and his own physical energy stores, and any injuries he took would be transported to his real body. But he wasn’t truly fighting in an arena halfway up a mountain.

The Contract Seals he had picked out had been warped from the Treasure Room to where his physical body lay.

And right now, his consciousness was in a special part of this dreamworld, the Inner Core of the Magic Core itself, undergoing a complex magical ritual.

For a few short moments, Micheal felt at peace, floating in this ethereal world. There was nothing here to bother him, no worries or troubles that plagued him here. For a very brief period of time, Micheal felt as if he could truly relax.

That feeling came upon him almost blissfully…

And then it was gone.

What came after it was exactly what Michael had expected. He braced himself, his heart solidifying for what he knew was about to come.

A swarm of horrific emotions that settled upon his shoulders like a guillotine slamming into his neck. Sharp, cutting, deadly, it was as if his mind itself was being assaulted.

An attack like this was indescribably more difficult to block, or even understand, than a physical attack. You could not raise your arms to shrug it off, you could not hide behind a shield to stop the blow.

You had to face it, head-on, and survive.

Micheal’s mind was instantly thrown into a mire of chaos.

All of a sudden, he felt as if he was worthless, as if he hated himself to his core, as if he had done a million vile things that deserved nothing more than death. These emotions not only slammed into his mind, but they also tried to worm their way directly into his Soul, to convince him that these were, in fact, his own emotions.

Insidious, creeping, and relentless, the assault was something that would instantly drive the common man insane.

Instead of giving in to that despair, however, a grim smile formed on his lips.

This storm of emotions that was slamming into him…

It wasn’t as if he had never experienced anything like this before.

Miserable guilt at the impact of the choices he made, self-hatred for his own uselessness when it came to saving those he loved, despair and a feeling of intense loss as he felt hope slip away…

Micheal’s first life had not been an easy one. He never wallowed in his past nor did he let it drag him down. Life was for the living, not for the dead.

And so, when it came to weathering emotional storms like this…

Micheal could not defeat them. They came and went like a raging tornado, well beyond his control.

But he could survive them.

Because that was what he was, if nothing else:

A survivor.

Time continued its inevitable march forward as Micheal stood in place, a lone soldier fighting a battle against enemies unseen. His solitary figure trembled, but never faltered, as he accepted everything Yvvtal brought with nary a complaint.

.. .. .. .. .. ..

An unknown amount of time later…

.. .. .. .. .. ..

Breathing brought pain.

Thinking brought pain.

Existing brought pain.

He accepted these things a long time ago.

Everything was pain. His mind, his heart, his Soul itself. That had come to be his natural state of being. Did a different one ever exist? It must have, right?

He didn’t know, for he could not remember.

He had already forgotten what his name was. The pain took that, like it took everything.

Every time he tried to think, he was met with pain. Sometimes that pain changed to different types of pain, a myriad of states that he cycled through.

He liked it best when it was merely physical pain. When his body cramped together, when it felt like he was burning up, with needles stabbing into him everywhere.

He could deal with that one the best. Ignoring it was easy.

The pain that came from the inside, though…

That one he liked the least.

He didn’t understand it, but it was horrifying to him. Sometimes that pain tried to make him give up, to just let everything go and stop trying. Agony that caused his heart to falter, sadness and loss that twisted his mind. It was a type of pain that promised sweet relief, bliss like he had never known, if he would just let it win.

All he had to do was give up.

Sometimes he felt like he should let that pain win. What was the point in fighting it, really?

He didn’t know. He couldn’t remember.

There was only one thing he did remember. It wasn’t even a fully conscious thought, but a simple feeling.

If he gave up, everything would be lost.

He didn’t know why he knew this, or what it meant. All he knew was that he needed to not give up. If he gave up, no matter how good it felt, he would have failed.

The pain took those feelings, sometimes, and tried to twist them. The pain screamed he was already a failure that had failed constant times. He didn’t remember this, but for some reason, he knew it was true.

He had failed time and time before. He had let down those that depended on him, he had been too weak to stand proud and undefeated. He didn’t know when, how, or where, yet these feelings sang true to him.

His life before the pain had been one of constant failure.

He understood that, he knew the pain wasn’t lying.

But even still… he could not let himself give up.

Time went on.

The pain only seemed to grow worse. It might actually still be the same, not that he could remember, but it felt like it grew more dogged. It set its hooks into his mind, body, and Soul in ways that he could not understand.

Soon, he recognized something:

He was delirious.

His thoughts had grown distorted, adding new challenges to resisting the pain. Unconsciously, he could now tell that his body and mind were taking in some kind of cool energy.

This energy was combating the delirium that was affecting him, preventing his mind from collapsing.

It did nothing, however, to stop the twisting pain that entrenched itself within him.

New thoughts occasionally crossed through his mind as he tried to stave off the pain.

Why was he not giving up?

The only reason he had yet to fail was because of that singular thought, filled with enough determination to stop a meteor. But why did he have such a thought?

He thought about this as best he could, turning his focus into unraveling this mystery.

And as his mind waded through a hurricane of emotion, a thought shone through as clear as the day.

The reason he was not allowed to give up was simple, a belief that was ingrained within his very heart.

He did not deserve to rest.

Bliss like that was better left for those that stayed within the light, not for those with Souls stained as dark as sin.

Did he view this pain as an atonement for what he did? For the failures he had left behind? Perhaps. He was unsure, his fleeting thoughts connected only by a vague string of emotions as he sought to control his mind.

All he knew was that he would not give up.

Because he could not give up.

And that was that.

Time went on, and it went on, and it went on.

The endless pain came in its endless numbers.

And he took that pain and he did not give up. An eternity of agony seemed to assault him, a never-ending march of attacks that came unceasingly.

It seemed to go on forever. Just when he thought his life now would transform into an existence like this forever…

7 hours after Micheal completed the King’s Challenge, something seemed to click in his mind.

A wave of energy ran through his body, vibrating down to the core of his Soul. A torrent of raw energy followed that wave, serenading him with power that contained a mixture of feelings. Time, Power, Space, an odd assortment of sensations that were difficult to describe.

And then…

Just like that, the pain stopped.

.