Feedback on IGS #4
Added 2025-09-18 23:27:00 +0000 UTCI'm pretty sure that I'll be doing some more work tomorrow - possibly adding an Epilogue, a final POV chapter for Dameon during the fight, and maybe splitting the current last chapter in two to give Naomi and Scorio some downtime and rest before they fly away to the Red Keep.
What else stuck out at you as either elements you'd like clarified, points of confusion, or plot points I dropped (like Plassus's treasure space)? Are there any parts of the book that struck you as needing work, or further elaboration? Any feedback before I dive into edits tomorrow would be most welcome!
Comments
Yep! Good catch, and getting fixed :)
Phil Tucker
2025-09-20 01:38:05 +0000 UTCNot sure if anyone else has mentioned this - or even if I just missed it in the text - but what does Scorio do with the key he won from the Warden(s)? Shouldn’t he have to use it to access the throne?
Mark Timmony
2025-09-20 01:36:21 +0000 UTCI think Scorio should express more guilt about getting Xandera Zero killed. Especially when Leonis talks about how his recklessness results in people around him dying. Not enough time is spent on the fact that his challenging Plassus to a duel was incredibly reckless and someone else paid the price. Especially considering he was offered several outs from the duel but chose to risk Xandera for his pride.
Kene Ogbuefi
2025-09-20 01:30:11 +0000 UTC
