Big update for future NSFW content

Hey gang!

Sorry it’s been a hot second since I’ve checked in with all of you. 

I’ve had to do a bit of soul searching, and with that comes all kinds of agony and self doubt of its own. Now that I’ve kind of thought through things for a bit, I just wanted to give you guys a fast update on what I’m thinking about for the foreseeable future.

Let me just rip the band-aid off so I can explain: I’m not going to be doing NSFW audios for a little bit.

I’ve been in denial about this for a few years honestly. I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to perform in the way I feel I should be able to as opposed to wanting to. Therapy and meditation have been really healing for me, and one of the things that’s really come into light lately is how performing NSFW audios was cathartic; while I was married, because it allowed me to dream and eventually hope something like that was in my immediate future; after my separation, because it filled an ache I didn’t want to acknowledge was so deep in me; and now, here, because the power to seduce an audience is admittedly fun. 

The problem, though, came when I realized there’s a lot of PTSD and anxiety surrounding myself when it comes to sex, and while I can certainly dream of NSFW scenarios, the energy to act on them has been severely lacking. I’ve become envious of my own scenarios and hearing people praise a scene as something they’ve experienced and loved before is both gratifying and difficult. So much so that I need to step aside and stop putting so much pressure on myself to deliver on something that I don’t feel from the heart right now.

Until further notice, there won’t be anymore NSFW updates to Patreon. That specific content will stay behind a paywall, and for now, Patreon will be the home for early access. 

This might bum a lot of you out and will probably make me take a hit, but I’m truly more concerned with making content that’s in my heart to make right now. The last thing I need to do is force myself to try and finish things I’m not entirely comfortable doing. I need to listen to my creative gut and have more kindness to myself.

You’ve always been the best. Your support has always meant the world. I don’t take that for granted. Ever.

-H